"Earth to Adam." Eli waved his hand back and forth in front of my face. "Dude I know I'm hot and all but can you not stare at me? It's creepy."

Had I been staring? I guess I had, but I couldn't help it. I know he was joking when he said he was hot, but he was hot. More than hot actually. Wait. Did I really just call a dude hot? He was though. The way his dark hair fell across his face. Those green eyes. That way his upper lip dipped down. His crooked smile. Oh god I had to stop this.

"Sorry I was just thinking about someone." I replied quickly. Had that been too obvious? What if he knew it was him I was thinking about.

"Who? Oh wait let me guess." He thought for a second. "Okay Bianca?"

Bianca? Did he really think I was that shallow? "God no!"

I shook my head as Eli went through countless girls names. Fiona. Alli. Holly J. Clare.

"Ok, who is it?" Eli gave up.

"No one important. We're going to be late to class." I told him, trying to change the subject.

We walked to class together, while Eli begged to know who it was. What would he do if I told him it was him? Never talk to me again. Call me a freak. Nothing that I'd never heard before.

I sat in class staring at the board in front of me, watching as the teacher wrote some nonsense about some war or whatever. I didn't care what happened 200 years ago, I had bigger problems. I was crushing on my bestfriend. Not only my bestfriend, but a guy. Fuck I needed to talk to Clare. Why did she have to be sick? She'd already gone through this Eli drama. It didn't work out for them but it might for me. Oh who I was kidding, it wouldn't work for me. Eli's straight. So am I. Atleast I thought I was.

"Does anyone know what a major contributor was?" Mr. Olsen asked the class. "How about you Mr. Torres?"

"Uhh" I looked down at my notes. Crap. I hadn't written any. My paper was covered in Eli's name surrounded by hearts. It looked like the paper of a 12 year old girl. "I don't know."

"If you were taking notes like you were supposed to you would know." Before I could do anything he walked down the aisle to my desk. Picking up the piece of paper laying in front of me, he looked at it and began laughing. "Adam Torres loves Eli Goldsworthy." He read to the class. Everyone was laughing.

Picking up my bag from under my chair I ran out of the room. Their laughter followed me through the halls, into the bathroom. I couldn't let this happen to me. I was already the joke of the school, once this got around. . .I couldn't let this happen. Eli was going to know. Then Clare. Then they would hate me. I was going to lose my only friends because of my retarded teenage hormones.

Digging through my backpack I found what I needed. I would regret this later, but right now it was what I needed. I rolled up the sleeve of my sweatshirt and looked at the scars I'd placed there before. Flicking the lighter to light I held it under the metal of the broken hair clip I carried with me. Once the metal was heated to my liking I placed it next to my freshest marking. I bit my lip as I felt it melt into my flesh. Removing the clip from my arm I threw it and the lighter back into my bag. I rolled down my sleeve and left.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?" A confused Clare asked, opening the door to her house.

"I have a huge problem." I told her as she let me into her house. We walked to the kitchen and I hopped onto the counter. "I think I might like a guy."

"What?" Clare asked her jaw dropping. "Who?" She tried to cover it up, but I could hear the excitement in her voice.

I took a deep breath. How was I supposed to tell her I liked her ex boyfriend? This was a huge mistake. I couldn't back out now though. "Eli."

"Oh. Wow." Clare bit her lip and looked at the empty space on the counter top next to me.

"I'm so sorry Clare. I know you went out with him. You must hate me." I apologized.

Clare laughed. "Adam, me and Eli broke up for a reason. I don't care about that." She said smiling at me. "It's just . . . well it's Eli."

Great, even Clare thought this was stupid. "What do I do?" I was desperate.

"I don't know." She admitted. "I guess you should just keep quiet. He's not interested. It's nothing personal. It's just, well he's straight."

"I know." I sighed and rested my head on the wall behind me, closing my eyes. She was right. I couldn't let him find out. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that he wasn't interested. I would just keep this between me and Clare. It could work.

"Fuck." Clare glared at me. "Sorry. But I just realized something."

"And?" She asked, motioning for me to go on.

"History. Mr. Olsen."

"Huh?"

I explained what happened in class. After an hour of contemplating ideas we decided it would just be best to ignore it, unless Eli brought it up. If he did bring it up . . . well I was screwed. I was actually surprised. I figured Clare would tell me to confess to Eli.

I looked at the screen of my phone. 2:37am. I had to wake up in less than three hours and I hadn't slept at all. It wasn't that I wasn't tired, because I was. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Eli. This was getting insane. I was not gay. I was straight. I, Adam Torres, was straight. I like girls. Maybe this was just a side effect of being raised as 'Gracie.' Gracie. Gracie was straight too. She liked guys. No I wasn't Gracie.

I looked at my arm. Adam didn't burn. Gracie did. Adam didn't like guys. Gracie did. Oh god. I'm turning into her.

"I'm turning into Gracie." I whispered into the darkness.

A/N: Reviews would be amazing. I'm sorry if the burning scene wasn't great. But this story should get better. It's to things I'm great with. Hopeless crushes and SI.