Vila found Avon eating in the dining area. He had a question to ask him. Avon always preferred eating alone and avoided the dining room when the others were having their meals.
Avon looked up in annoyance when Vila entered the room. He had been enjoying a nice peaceful time, something he got precious little of on the ship with Blake's constant demands on them. Avon lips parted in a sneer at that thought, the man seemed to think he owned them. Seeing Avon's unfriendly expression, Vila almost decided not to talk to him.
"Are you here for something or do you just plan to stare like an idiot?" asked Avon.
At that, Vila decided that perhaps he really was an idiot to come to Avon. He turned to leave.
"What do you want, Vila?" Avon was surprised at himself; he didn't know why he had bothered to ask this question and continue this invasion of his privacy.
Vila hesitated, came back and sat down at the table. Avon frowned at this, asking the question had not been an invitation to dinner.
"Make it quick," said Avon. He put down his fork.
"Avon, do you remember when we were on Fosforon?" began Vila.
"Was there anything worth remembering?" asked Avon. He considered Vila's question in extremely poor taste. Of course he remembered; one doesn't easily forget being betrayed by one of your oldest friends.
"Well, it's not every day that your only friend tries to kill you," said Vila.
"Do you have anything more useful to say?" asked Avon coldly. If Avon's glare had the power of a laser pistol, Vila would have been checking himself for holes.
"I mean, we're not like that. Not to say that we're friends or anything," said Vila.
Avon continued to fix him with an icy stare. Vila shivered; the temperature seemed to have dropped several degrees. Now that he had sat down, he wasn't going to be deterred until he said what he came here to say. He plucked up his courage and blurted out, "Avon, are you going to leave us?"
Avon reacted in surprise. "What do you mean?" This was the last thing he had expected Vila to say.
"I was serious before. What I said on Fosforon. If you leave us, Blake is going to get us killed. I don't want to leave him. I have nowhere to go. But I'm not too keen on getting killed either."
"Then you should have picked someone else to follow," said Avon. He picked up his fork to resume eating but only managed to rearrange the items on his place.
Vila was committed now. "Please don't leave, Avon. I know none of us ever say it. But we need you, as much as we need Blake. Blake still believes in people, in ideals. I know you think he's simple minded and a fool at the best of times. But I know that you envy him sometimes; you wish you could still believe too. That's why you've stayed. But Blake doesn't realize he's pushed you too far. You Alphas are all alike. Can't stand being pushed. Can't stand someone else taking over your life. But if you leave, we'll all die. I don't want to die, Avon."
"So now I'm your saviour? Interesting," said Avon. The corners of his lips lifted in a sarcastic smile. He was still moving the items on his plate around without managing to eat them.
"You don't fool me, Avon. You can fool the rest but you can't fool me. I remember what you said."
"What I said?" snarled Avon. The fork stopped moving, Avon raised his head to stare at Vila again.
"I didn't understand it then. When you said you 'never understood why it should be necessary to become irrational in order to prove that you care, or why it should be necessary to prove it at all'. You care by doing things. You go out of your way to show that you don't think much of us but then you turn around and risk your neck to save us when it's much safer not to do anything."
"That's self-interest," said Avon dismissively.
"Really? Then why did you come after us on Horizon when you know the rest of us had already fallen into a trap?"
"There were pursuit ships."
"That's nonsense and you know it. The ships were two hours away. They wouldn't even have had you on their scanners until they got much closer. And the Liberator is the fastest ship there is. Getting away would only have taken a few minutes. And is it really safer for you to have Blake onboard? You know he's going to get you killed. You said so."
"Not always a fool then," Avon said wryly. He didn't know that anyone had figured that out. The realization that Vila had, put their interaction on Fosforon in a new light and it made Avon feel uncomfortable. The last thing he needed was for the crew to know that he cared. They already made enough demands on him as it was.
"You and me are a lot alike, Avon."
"Perhaps I spoke to soon."
"What about it, Avon? Are you going to stay?"
Avon stared at him and then said, "For now."
"Thanks. I mean it." Vila left go but he turned around at the doorway. "Avon."
"What is it?" said Avon irritably. He really wanted to be alone now.
"You know when I said I didn't understand what you said about caring before? Just wanted you to know Cally did." With that Vila finally left. "She explained it to me."
Avon had a thoughtful expression on his face.