"Sparkles. Suit up."

Robin looked at the display on her cell phone. She had a minute or so left in the commercial break, before she was back on the air, and she really didn't want to talk to Curt right now. He always started crying, and it was just embarrassing. She'd started keeping a box of tissues under the desk. Seriously, she couldn't understand why the man just couldn't keep it together until they were off the air. Talk about being a wuss.

Since she had nothing better to do, and wanted to look busy to avoid Curt, she decided to return Barney's text.

"No. Working."

Immediately, she got a photo response. Barney, holding a suit, then pointing up, looking irritated.

Wait, was that her apartment?

She had no time to respond, and once the newscast was over for the night, it had pretty much slipped her mind. She walked back to her dressing room, looking forward to changing into something comfortable, then heading home to watch some late night TV before going to bed. Opening her door, she groaned.

"Barney, what are you doing?" she asked, eyeing the smug looking man lounging on her couch.

"I told you," Barney said, popping up off the couch. "You need to suit up. We're going out, Sparkles. Just you and me, mano a mano."

"But I'm tired," she whined. "And stop calling me Sparkles."

"I don't care, and never," he responded, handing her a garment bag. "Now suit up. You're gonna be my wing-woman tonight."

Robin sighed. She'd never get rid of him. "Fine," she agreed, taking the bag and peeking inside. At least he'd picked out one of her favorite pant suits. "Out," she glared at him, when he made no move to leave so she could change, then laughed as he pouted all the way out the door, muttering about how she was no fun.

"Don't worry, Sparkles," he yelled from outside the door. "I'll pump you up with a few espressos, and you'll be good to go. Plus, y'know, it's going to be AWESOME anyway. I guarantee you, this night will be one you'll never forget. It'll be...wait for it...keep waiting...LEGENDARY."

***

True to his word, their first stop was the Starbucks in the lobby of the news station. After buying her a venti espresso, they headed out into the wilds of New York City.

Hours later, they had played two rounds of laser tag (Robin wasn't sure why she'd needed to suit up for laser tag, but at that point, she was high on caffeine and decided to just roll with it), and after ascertaining that Robin was not a big enough celebrity to get them both into the VIP room at OK (still), nor was she going to get up and dance on the bar at Coyote Ugly (Barney dubbed her "Robin Sparkles, the Nova Scotian Party Pooper" at that point), they ended up back at McLaren's, drinking scotch and setting each other up with easy-looking bar patrons.

Robin winced as the fifth woman in a row slapped Barney. That had to hurt, and she wondered idly what he was saying to all these women to piss them off. She probably didn't want to know. No, scratch that - she definitely didn't want to know. It was most likely filthy.

She glanced around the room, trying to find yet another woman that Barney would find acceptable. There was a brunette across the room, but she was with several of her friends. The blonde at the bar was too close to Wendy the Waitress. But then she spotted her - the redhead by the door, discreetly fluffing her breasts. Robin smirked - if she fluffed them any more, they would fall out. She went over the Barney checklist: big boobs - check. Big hair - check. Heels - 4 inches - check. She was beautiful, she was by herself, and she looked like she was probably there to get lucky. Barney SO owed her.

After stopping briefly to pick up Barney, she stood in front of the woman. "Hi!" she said brightly. "Haaave you met Barney?" she asked, pushing him in front of her. He made a smarmy comment, which seemed to work, and the two of them moved off to a cozy table in the corner. Robin sat down at the bar, and watched for a minute or two until Barney flashed her a huge smile and a thumbs up. Her work here was done.

"Hi Carl," she said, turning to face the bar. "Can I have another scotch?"

He nodded and brought it over. "Sure, Robin. No luck tonight?" he asked, waving away her credit card when she fished it out. "On the house - you've had to put up with Barney all night."

Robin grinned. "Thanks Carl. It has been rough," she laughed. "If he wasn't such a pig, I probably would have more luck setting him up with someone." Yawning, she stretched, and didn't miss Carl checking her out as she did so. She noticed that across the room, Barney hadn't missed it either. He was frowning and mouthing "Platinum Rule" at her. She roller her eyes - duh. Barney still wouldn't drink or eat anything delivered by Wendy the Waitress. She couldn't imagine what would happen if they had to be leery of both Wendy and Carl. They'd have to find a new bar, and the rest of the gang would literally kill her. So she smiled at Carl, then moved down the bar to chat with Wendy for a while. When Barney still hadn't been slapped after twenty minutes, she finished off her drink, caught his eye, and waved, pointing towards the door.

He frowned and shook his head, making the `call me' gesture under the table. Robin sighed, and dialed his number.

"Barney, I'm tired and I'm going home," she said when he picked up.

"Oh, hi Mom!" he replied. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Seriously, Barney, I'm leaving!" she insisted, getting up and moving towards the exit.

"What?!? No!" Glancing at the corner, she saw him cover the phone and say something to Slutty McRedhead, putting on his `my cousin is in the hospital' face. "I'll catch a cab and be there in twenty minutes!" With that, he hung up, looked at her, and gestured subtly at the door.

Outside, she waited a few minutes for him to join her. "Get her number?" she asked as he stepped out the door.

"Of course," he scoffed.

"So what was wrong with her?"

He thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Nothing, I guess. I just felt bad that my matchmaking attempts didn't work for you, Sparkles. Did you tell them all you were on TV?"

She rolled her eyes. "Barney, it's fine. Go back in to whats-her-face."

"Nah. I'll walk you home. I've got her number, I can call her later."

"Wow, that's really - wait, why are you being decent?"

He grinned, and wiggled his eyebrows at her. "I was hoping you'd ask me up for a nightcap?" he tried, then laughed when she smacked him. "Nah. Sometimes a guy just wants to hang out with his wing-woman. Is that so wrong?"

He offered her his elbow, and she smiled and threaded her arm through it. "No," she said, as they started walking. "No, that's not so wrong at all."