A/N: When my sister and I talk, weird ideas are made. Read and review, if you please. Have an excellent day!
James Bond Can Do Anything!
by MiscellaneousSoup
Grunting, James Bond kicked open the door. Inside, everything was dark and musty. The door creaked and fell off the hinge. The impact resounded throughout the building. Unfortunately, it attracted some unwanted attention. A rotting, broken bear animatronic walked up, groaning.
James Bond smiled grimly and held up his pistol. "Go eat some picnic baskets." Bang.
JAMES BOND CAN DO ANYTHING! WHY? BECAUSE HE'S JAMES BOND!
JAMES BOND CAN DO ANYTHING! WHY? BECAUSE HE'S JAMES BOND!
JAMES BOND HAS NEVER LOST, BECAUSE HE'S JAMES "I'M A WINNER" BOND!
JAMES! JAMES! JAMES! JAMES! JAMES! BOOOOONNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD!
James Bond Can Do Anything: Part Of The Lost Sitcom Brigade, Owned by MiscellaneousSoup, Inc, a division of Fictional Studios, Part Of The Fanfiction Conglomerate Of Bunions
James Bond walked out of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, holding up the lifeless chunks of metal of every single animatronic. The gruesome puppet-beast was slung over his shoulder. After dumping everything on the ground, he left. The crowd cheered.
JAMES BOND CAN DO ANYTHING!
Galactus floated above Earth, ready to devour its essence, dooming the entire population. Right before he began the destructive process, James Bond popped up, in a spacesuit. Cocking a pistol, he growled. "Go back to the funny pages." Bang.
JAMES BOND CAN DO ANYTHING!
For the twenty-third time that day, little Timmy and Tina failed at beating I Wanna Be The Guy. Just as they were about to fling the laptop out the window, James Bond crashed through their window, causing a massive amount of property damage.
Grabbing the laptop, he opened it. Within five seconds, the game was beaten. He threw the laptop at the door, destroying it. Before he left, he had one statement for the children. "Stick to Tetris, wimps."
JAMES BOND CAN DO ANYTHING!
Batman stood in the middle of warehouse, carefully scanning his surroundings.
James Bond was hiding behind a crate. "Are you kidding me? I'm not doing this!" He teleported away.
JAMES BOND CAN DO ANYTHING, EXCEPT WHEN HE MAKES A TACTICAL RETREAT!
MiscellaneousSoup sat at his computer, giggling. "Aw man, this story is great! I can't wait to get my typical thousands of views and hundreds of reviews."
James Bond appeared behind him. "Stop writing nonsense." He snapped MiscellaneousSoup's neck and began to write the greatest fanfiction in existence.
JAMES BOND CAN WRITE ANYTHING!
They all wept. Every one of them. The baby had perished in a tragic motorcycle accident, and with him, the cure of the disease that was plaguing the nation. Suddenly, James Bond appeared, holding the baby's corpse. He kissed it, causing it to come back to life.
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY BOND! ALL HAIL BOND!
Nickelodeon Studios…
Greg Normalguy was pitching a new episode for Spongebob Squarepants. "Okay, everyone, we want to make our greatest story yet! So, how an episode where Squidward is grumpy, so Sandy tries to make him feel better by performing surgery in his brain. We can shoehorn Spongebob in there by having him go into Squidward's brain."
The executives, all dressed in the same outfits and carrying bags of money, laughed. "It's brilliant! We'll make this the third movie. We can call it SpongeBrain BobSquid! We're geniuses!"
Greg beamed. "Wonderful!" Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out an envelope and a pencil. "I'll just write this down- SWEET CRUMPETS!"
James Bond burst out of the envelope, wielding two huge machine guns. "BRING BACK STEPHEN HILLENBURG!"
Within five minutes, he had slaughtered the executives, hired new ones, changed the entire creative team, gotten Stephen Hillenburg back, pitched an episode, gotten it approved, animated it, got the voice recordings, edited it, produced it, and aired it on prime-time to the best ratings that Nickelodeon had ever gotten.
JAMES BOND CAN DO ANYTHING!