EDIT 9/29/15: Like all first timers, I made the mistake of making this an OC-centric fan fic. I'm hoping the edits make it more bearable.

I'll be making this as much like a written journal as possible, so things that would normally be italicized will be underlined. Author notes will be in bold. Everything else will be the "journal", even if there's a line above or below it.

This and tie-in "How to Save a Life" is set in a slightly alternate version of the fan-named Aligned Universe. It consists of War for Cybertron, Fall of Cybertron, the novels, and Transformers: Prime. At the time I began writing this, Prime wasn't even close to finishing and Robots in Disguise was apparently some horrible show nobody spoke of. Some things will show up, some won't.

Major canon characters are mentioned quite a bit.

Shades of Grey

Prologue

Cybertron

Great War's End

There is no such thing as "black and white." Nothing and no one could be truly "good" or "evil". Mecha who believe that can only be described as ignorant. See, almost nobody ever thinks about shades of grey, about how every supposedly "good" mech has done horrible things to someone else. Or how some "evil" mech has a beating Spark somewhere in them.

Take me as an example.

I was an NCO of the Seeker Armada, designation Crossfire. I've done many things I'm not proud of in the name of Megatron and the Decepticon Army. The faces of those I've killed haunt me every time I power down for recharge.

To an Autobot, I was an unfeeling monster, capable only of causing destruction and pain. They believed I had no mind of my own, that I was totally and utterly loyal to Lord Megatron and him alone. This is not true.

I had a sparkmate at one time to whom I was completely devoted, before I joined the Decepticons. We had a sparkling together we called Freefall. Our only sparkling. I love him with all my Spark, and I loved his Carrier as well. I would have ripped a hole in the universe if I believed he would benefit from it.

Megatron planned to turn my creation into a soldier, cannon fodder for his cause that, at one time, I truly believed in. When I learned what lengths he was willing to go, I didn't plan on letting that happen. I sent Freefall as far away as I could, hoping that had spared him of growing up in a base or warship or wherever the slag I was stationed where anything was done for power.

What I'm trying to get at here is if the Autobots had stopped thinking in only black and white and considered the grey, maybe they wouldn't have been so quick to place us "lowly Deceptiscum" in a single category.

I've put together this journal to tell my piece of the story, small as it may be.

Solarflare, I'm sorry I couldn't save you. Freefall, I did what I could. I hope you'll understand.