Friday, Dec 12th, 2008 - 11:30 p.m.
Went with Marshall to the Hoser Hole tonight. I love that place. Unfortunately, Marshall sang "Let's Go To the Mall," and then, just in case there might be someone in the bar who didn't recognize me, he followed it up with "Sandcastles in the Sand." Bastard. I think I'll go back to hanging out with Barney. Who apparently *didn't* sleep with Ted's sister. I'm not sure why that makes me happy. It would never work between me and Barney, right? Right?
In other news, still no job. Still living in Ted's spare room. Still sad and alone.
Sincerely,
Robin
*~*
Monday, Dec 15th, 2008 - 3:15 p.m.
Barney called this morning to see if I wanted to get dinner tonight. I figured, why not? It's either that or MacLarens with everyone else. A change of pace would be kind of nice. So I'm supposed to meet him at his office after I go to the gym this afternoon.
I'm still mad at Marshall for the stunt at the bar Friday. The worst part was that he told everyone else (or maybe he just told Lily, and she told everyone - could go either way on that one, I guess) about it, and all weekend I had to put up with them asking if I wanted to go to the mall, and if so, would I like to go today? Bastards.
The really sad part is, I *do* want to go to the mall today. Stupid Christmas shopping. Stupid Marshall!
Sincerely,
Robin
*~*
Tuesday, Dec 16th, 2008 - 1:30 a.m.
Oh. My. God. I am scarred. For life.
So I went to the gym, like I planned, then headed uptown to the GNB Building. I popped into Marshall's office to say hello - even though I'm still mad at him, because it would be rude to be in the building and not say hi - then headed a few floors up to meet with Barney. His door was closed, and all the blinds were drawn when I got there, so I tapped on the door, and when he told me to come in, I did. And there was Barney. Naked. Posing like, I don't know, Captain Morgan? It was...weird.
So after I ran screaming back into the hallway, and Barney redressed, we had a nice dinner at that place with the burgers, and I tried to get a decent Christmas list from him. A list without a fighter jet, a pony, and Ted's sister on it. No luck, by the way. I guess I'll have to figure it out on my own.
In other news, still no job. Still living in Ted's spare room. Still sad and alone. And a little turned on. Damn naked Barney.
Sincerely,
Robin
*~*
Thursday, Dec 18th, 2008 – 10:00 p.m.
I finally made it to the mall today. I took Lily along, so that she can tell everyone I bought Barney the "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" DVD and a Hot Wheels monster truck. You know, to throw them off, since what I really got him was season tickets to Foxy Boxing, a bottle of 40 year old single malt Scotch, and a box of awesome Cuban cigars. I may have gone a little overboard, now that I think about it.
So all I've been thinking about the last few days is the fact that Barney pulled a Naked Man on me. What the hell does that mean? Does he want to hook up again? For one night? For longer?
Perhaps he greets all his lady visitors to his office in the nude (except for Lily, of course, although I wouldn't put it past him)? More importantly, do I want to hook up again?
Still no job. Still living in Ted's spare room. Still sad and alone. And confused.
Sincerely,
Robin
*~*
Saturday, Dec 20th, 2008 – 3:30 a.m.
Hung out with the Jillian and the Woo girls tonight. I like them, and I have fun with them, but I do miss the gang. And I hate wearing those stupid cowboy hats at Giddy Ups. They just look ridiculous. I prefer a nice suit.
Oh my god, I'm turning into Barney!
No, that's not it. I'm turning into Barney's fashion sense. Which is okay, because good lord, that man can dress.
Okay, I seriously need a date.
On the bright side, I have an interview Monday. But I'm still living in Ted's spare room. And I'm still sad and alone.
Sincerely,
Robin
*~*
Monday, Dec 22nd, 2008 – 10:15 p.m.
So, just before my interview this afternoon, I got a call from Barney. I was wearing my best suit for the meeting, and he told me that afterwards, he wanted to take me out on the town to celebrate. I figured, why not? It's the first interview I've had in weeks, might as well celebrate it, even if I'm not really qualified for the job, and probably won't get it. But still, I was already suited I walked out of the building, there was a limo outside. The driver indicated I should get in. You'll never guess what was inside.
Okay, maybe you will.
Naked Barney. Again. This time, stretched out along the bench seat, posing like Burt Reynolds. I'm sure my yelp must have startled several people on the sidewalk next to me, and I'm sure that old lady got quite an eyeful when she tried to see what had me so upset. So I slammed the door, and once he rolled down the window and I saw that he was once again clothed, I got in, and he took me out for an awesome steak dinner. He kept muttering something about "two out of three times! He promised!" but other than that, was completely normal. He flirted, I laughed at him. Just like we always do. I wanted to ask him about the multiple Naked Mans, but I wasn't sure I was ready to hear the explanation, so I let it go. For now.
And then he took me home. And it's still really early. I would have been happy to go to a club, or get a drink somewhere, or just hang out and be his wing-woman for the night. But instead, he brought me home, walked me to the door, said goodnight, and walked away. Which was sweet – so why am I so disappointed?
Still no job. Still living in Ted's spare room. Still sad and alone.
Sincerely,
Robin
*~*
Tuesday, Dec 23rd, 2008 – 8:00 a.m.
Ended up calling Marshall and heading over to the Hoser Hole last night after Barney dropped me off. I did make him promise not to sing anything at all, and we ended up having a nice time. Had a couple of Labatts, watched some hockey. I wanted to talk to him about what's been going on with Barney, but I'm not sure I want everything to get back to Lily, who'll just blab to everyone else. I can just imagine Ted's reaction to finding out Barney's been Naked Manning me lately.
We're exchanging presents tonight, because Marshall and Lily are heading to Minnesota in the morning, and Ted's off to Ohio tomorrow afternoon. I opted not to go home this year, I just didn't want to spend all that family bonding time with my dad. Maybe next year. This year…well, I haven't decided what I'm going to do Christmas day. Maybe make a pie and eat it while I watch "A Christmas Story" over and over. Yeah, that sounds like fun. Just me, pie, Ralphie, and the couch.
Still no job. Still living in Ted's spare room. Still sad and alone.
Sincerely,
Robin
*~*
Wednesday, Dec 24th, 2008 – 1:00 a.m.
Lily loved her boots, Ted liked the iPod. Marshall was thrilled with the Vikings tickets I got him for this Sunday while he's visiting his family. And Barney…
He was quiet when he opened his present, and then he just…looked at me. For the rest of the night, he just kept looking at me, like he wanted to say something but didn't think he should. He almost looked…hopeful? Somewhat infatuated? It was interesting. And it made me think – sure, Barney is usually a jerk, but he's been really sweet to me, and we do get along. I think of anyone in the group, he gets me the most, even more than Lily or Ted.
So, slowly, a plan is hatching. Instead of sitting by myself watching Christmas movies, why don't I invite Barney over and we can watch together?
In the spirit of Christmas Eve, I will not moan about my lack of a job or home of my own. But hopefully I won't be sad and alone much longer.
Sincerely,
Robin
*~*
Wednesday, Dec 24th, 2008 – 9:00 p.m.
Okay. I made pie. I rented a swivel chair. I waxed, exfoliated, and mud masked. And then I called Barney and mentioned that I got the "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" DVD, and asked if he wanted to come over tomorrow to watch it with me. He'll be over tomorrow morning at 10:00. So at 9:55, I just have to take off all my clothes, sit in the swivel chair, and be ready for him. Barney, prepare for Naked Woman. It's gonna be legendary.
Sincerely,
Robin