A/N: Yes, it was based on the movie, lol. But this is basically just a little one-shot I wrote today after my Biology final, since I had extra time. Enjoy!
10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
A List Compiled By: Lily Evans
10) Well, to start off, let's map out the big picture: you're an idiot, plain and simple. The things you say, the actions you perform, the people you associate with…everything about you screams, "IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!" in shrill, unmistakable tones.
9) Despite your obvious idiocy, you're actually clever, ingenious, intelligent, and genuinely witty on rare occasions. You have the capacity to be so much more in public, yet you waste it all on petty tomfoolery – which is frankly rather sad.
8) You're far too tall and thin. I'm sorry, but to someone on the shorter side of life, who is of a normal size, it's simply exasperating. I felt the need to point it out.
7) You can argue the hind-leg off a donkey if you want to. Now, normally I would respect that, since I can do the same, but on you – with all that you are – it doesn't work. Not at all.
6) People listen to every harebrained thing you say. If you want to argue about Laws of Magic, wand movements, historical accuracies, essays, or anything remotely insignificant/ridiculous, you are the center of attention; yet, if I want to speak about something I think – like a question about a Potions ingredient or an opinion on house-elf rights, only my close friends will listen. Where's the justice in that?!
5) You are such a flirt! You can flirt with any and every girl you wish, constantly; and the worst part is that you enjoy it, and they encourage you! I really pity your girlfriend, because quite frankly, you're a complete man-whore.
4) You smell nice – almost minty, but very pleasant all the same, this coming from a girl who never really cared for mints. This is abhorrent on you, though, because an arse like you shouldn't smell so nice. It's unfair; you basically have everything you need for success handed to you on a silver platter, and you have to have a desirable aroma on top of that as well?!
3) You smile oddly. It's actually kind of creepy – you've got this big mouth and this almost-narrow facial structure that allows you to effortlessly appear evil when you laugh at someone else's misfortune, or at anything period. You look like a delinquent, essentially, and delinquent-faced young men, needless to say, basically have genes behind them screaming for cynics such as myself to loathe them. And I oblige with pleasure.
2) You have hazel eyes, and I happen to have an enormous, shameful, Eiffel-tower-sized weakness for hazel eyes. I'm like a black hole when it comes to hazel eyes; I just stare and stare and stare and I can't get enough of them. It's unfortunate, but I find them simply beautiful, and yours happen to have a very unusual hue to them. Why did you have to have hazel eyes when they've been my favorite color since I was six?? This is just cruel!
1) All my reasons for hating you are, of course, vital, gargantuan, and one hundred percent justified, but there's one reason so much more important than the rest when it comes to my reasons for hating you, and it's this:
I don't hate you. I've tried, believe me, but I never did – and still don't – hate you. Not even one stinking little bit.