Author's Note: Torchwood is owned by the BBC.

Ianto practically ran out of the warehouse, his stomach churning and tears stinging at his eyes. He quickly ducked behind the building, not even registering that it had started to rain and threw up the little that he had managed to eat that day. Ianto heaved until nothing was left and then retched, his stomach protesting as hot saliva continued to gather in his mouth.

After a few moments, Ianto began to shiver and spat at the ground, trying to get rid of the foul taste in his mouth. His hair was plastered to his head but Ianto did not even register how wet and cold he was getting as one thought consumed him; 'I'm in.'

The sound of the warehouse door banging open startled Ianto out of his thoughts. He flattened himself against the side of the building as he heard Captain Harkness' voice cut across the silence of the night.

"Suzie I need you to come to Colchester Avenue Industrial Estate... no not a Weevil. You will never guess what we've caught... Who's we? You'll see tomorrow..."

Jack's voice faded as he walked further away and Ianto strained to listen; since Canary Wharf his hearing had gotten worse, the shrieks of the Daleks and stomping of the Cybermen marching had been deafening. Memories of that awful day threatened to overwhelm Ianto and he swallowed thickly, trying to avoid being sick again. Ianto peered around the corner of the warehouse and saw Captain Harkness taking some rope out of the SUV's boot, presumably to help restrain the pterodactyl. He bit his lip, should he have stayed and helped? The loud bang that signalled Jack shutting the boot made Ianto jump and press himself closer to the wall.

"He starts tomorrow..." Jack's voice drifted across the yard. He chuckled into his mobile and said, "yeah he looks good in a suit..."

Ianto stiffened at Jack's words and remembered why he had fled Jack's presence so quickly without offering to help. The unusual feel of a man's body beneath his own, the hard planes of Harkness' chest rising and falling, synchronised with his own had stunned him and for a moment...

Ianto shook his head vehemently denying his own memories. He ignored the thought of his lips being a hairbreadths away from Jack's and the sickening idea, that for a moment, he had forgotten Lisa. The woman he loved. The woman he was risking everything for.

Ianto wasn't stupid; he knew that if he was caught he'd be executed. There was no mercy at Torchwood and he and Lisa had come too far escaping the monsters and UNIT to fail now. The first step of the plan was complete, he was in Torchwood Three; now he just needed to get Lisa in safely and see if their technology or databases could help her condition in any way.

Ianto waited until he was certain that Harkness had gone back into the warehouse and walked away quickly just in case any more members of Torchwood Three came along. He pulled at his collar as the rain began to fall down heavily and shoved his hands in his pockets, heading towards the street where he had met Harkness and left his car.

A short while later Ianto hurriedly unlocked his car as the rain began to come down heavily. He quickly put the key in the ignition and cranked up the heating, rubbing his hands together and wincing as the feeling slowly came back to his numb fingers. Ianto glanced at his watch and cursed, that had taken longer than anticipated and Lisa was overdue some pain relief. He bit his lip as he mentally calculated how much morphine he had left from what he had stolen from the triage tent at Canary Wharf and prayed that he would be able to gain access to Torchwood Three's medical bay.

With a start Ianto realised that he was home, a hastily rented flat with a landlord that didn't ask questions, and mentally scolded himself for not paying attention. He would have to be a lot more on the ball when he started work tomorrow if he was going to succeed in smuggling Lisa in. It wasn't practical for her to stay in the flat, Ianto lived in constant fear that his landlord was just going to let himself in one day, either that or the electricity board was going to send someone to check his meter.

Ianto's hands shook as he went to unlock the door and he paused, breathing in deeply. He wasn't sure what his biggest fear was; was it that Lisa could have died whilst he was out, rolling around a dusty warehouse floor with the biggest known flirt in Torchwood? Or was it the slight feeling of fear he had as he looked at his damaged girlfriend?

Disgusted with his own thoughts Ianto entered his house and froze as he heard pained whimpers and gasps coming from his bedroom.

"Lisa" he whispered before banging shut the door and running to his girlfriend.

Ianto's heart broke as he entered the room, Lisa's desperation and pain almost tainted the very air that he breathed, as she writhed on the metal frame she was forced to exist on.

"Ianto" Lisa cried. "It hurts!"

Ianto immediately set about giving Lisa morphine. It was hard to judge how much she needed and he was afraid of her becoming addicted. Minutes ticked by as Lisa struggled to cope with the pain of the alien mental pressing against her flesh but as the drugs coursed through her veins, the relief on Lisa's face was palpable and her body began to relax.

"Where were you?" Lisa rasped, her voice was reproachful but at least it was still her voice and not that of a robotic monster.

"I'm sorry" Ianto said. "I was with Captain Harkness. I've gotten the job Lisa."

Lisa closed her eyes and whispered, "thank God."

Ianto gripped Lisa's hand tightly, relishing the feel of her fingers but also fighting the urge to recoil as he felt the cold metal encasing the rest of her hand. "I'll be able to find somebody that can help us Lisa and we'll have access to medication. There may even be some technology there that could help us."

"Thank you" Lisa whispered, opening her eyes and revealing that they were full of tears. "You're risking so much."

"Shh" Ianto whispered fiercely. "I would do anything for you, you know that."

"I know" Lisa smiled tiredly. "My Ianto, you're so brave."

Ianto could see that Lisa was going to fall asleep and brushed his lips lightly against hers. "You're the brave one" he said softly. "And I'll always be yours."

Lisa gave a half smile before slipping into a drugged doze. As soon as he was sure that Lisa was asleep, Ianto's mask crumbled and he wondered how on Earth he was going to save them both. It was a mammoth task, almost impossible but he'd successfully taken the first step tonight. Soon Lisa would be whole and well again and they would escape Torchwood's clutches for good. No more monsters in their lives and he would finally have the love of his life back.

As Ianto firmly told himself that he could save them both from their current hellish existence, he couldn't get the image of twinkling blue eyes and a charming grin out of his mind. His heavy heart sank further as he realised that Jack Harkness was going to prove to be a complication that he just could not cope with or possibly even resist. As his head betrayed his heart, Ianto wondered bleakly if this was ever going to end well.

-TW-

Months later, as his world yet again collapsed around him and he had the blood of two innocents on his hands, Ianto realised that he had been wrong calling Jack a monster. For the only monster that he could see was not his Captain or even the broken body of his girlfriend, it was himself. He was the biggest monster because he already knew that his traitorous heart loved another, despite his promises to the woman that he'd risked all to save.