Let Your Heart Hold Fast
All my days are spent
All my cards are dealt
Oh, the desolation grows
Every inch revealed
As my heart is pierced
Oh, my soul is now exposed
Prologue
May 2015
"What's up, nerd?"
Jesse turned from the conversation he was having with a couple of underclassmen Trebles and grinned.
"Hey, Beca, you're really rocking that hat," he said as he walked towards her, ducking low so that he wouldn't photobomb Benji and his siblings as Mrs. Applebaum took yet another picture.
"I make mortarboard look good."
"You'll never hear me deny it."
She smiled and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. "Cassie around?"
He shrugged and tossed a glance over his shoulder. "Nah, she was taking some pictures with her sorority sisters earlier."
Beca shook her head incredulously. "I can't believe you went from me to a sorority chick."
He smiled and bit back his retort. He never would have started dating Cassie if they hadn't of broken up the previous summer when Beca had gotten an internship in Los Angeles. But that was old news. They had managed to be friends, and he figured that was easier than pretending to hate her.
"Would you care to take a stroll around the quad with me before we head our separate ways?" she asked.
There was something bugging her, he could tell, but he knew prying would never get it out of her. So he kept it light by holding out his arm and bowing. "Don't mind if I do."
She rolled her eyes, but took his arm anyway. "Dork."
"So, Beca Mitchell, how does it feel to be a college graduate? Are you feeling like an adult yet?"
"I'm not sure," she said honestly. "Are you looking forward to moving to New York?"
"Yeah. I mean, I'm nervous about it, but in a good way."
"What about scoring movies?" she asked. "Wouldn't it be easier to produce a soundtrack where the movies are actually being made?"
"They make movies in New York," he said nonchalantly. "RCA is headquartered there, and they produce soundtracks all the time."
In all honesty, New York had been a huge compromise for him. Like Beca, he had always envisioned himself in L.A. as well, but Cassie was from the East Coast and had her heart set on going back. He hadn't planned on moving in with a girl so soon, but he and Cassie had really hit it off, so he took the risk and applied for an entry-level position with a New York label that specialized in music for television shows and other lower budget projects. It wasn't exactly scoring movies, but being the eternal optimist that he was, he saw it as a great way to pay his dues.
"Besides," he added, "they have these new fangled contraptions that fly in the sky. You may have heard of them; they're called 'airplanes,' so I can get to L.A. pretty easily if I need to."
"Well, if you ever need a place to stay, or if you change your mind even –"
"Whaddup, bitches?" Fat Amy called, sidling up to them. "Are you both in for my rad party tonight? There'll be lots of man meat for you to ogle, Beca. And you too, Jesse, if that's suddenly your thing."
"Sorry, Amy," he laughed. "Cassie and I are having dinner with our parents, and then we're heading out first thing tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" Beca asked, her voice high.
Amy threw Beca one of her knowing looks before smiling back up at Jesse. "That's too bad. You always did add a touch of class to the place."
"Aw, Amy." He placed his hand over his heart and threw her an affectionate look.
"But not that much," she amended.
Jesse shook his head. "Thanks. I'll miss you too, Amy."
"Aw, c'mere you," Amy exclaimed, pulling his face down into her cleavage and rocking him back and forth.
"Amy," he pleaded, his voice muffled.
Beca gently placed a hand on her friend's arm. "Let him breath, Amy."
Amy pulled away, her eyes misty. She straightened her clothing, not meeting his gaze. "Well, take care now. See you, Beca."
"Bye!" Jesse called as she hurried off to smother her next victim.
"So you're leaving tomorrow?" Beca asked as soon as Amy was out of earshot.
"Well, yeah. I start work on Monday, and we wanted to get settled in before then, so…"
"'We?' You mean Cassie wanted to get settled in. Jeez, do you even have a place to stay?"
"'We' as in Cassie and me. And yes, I do have a place to stay. Her mom's a realtor, and she found us this great, rent-controlled apartment in Brooklyn. Apparently that's a big deal in New York."
"I didn't realize you were leaving so soon," she muttered.
"What's wrong, Beca? You're acting weird."
"Nothing," she said in that way that meant it definitely wasn't 'nothing.' "I just thought we would have time to, you know, hang out before you left."
"We're hanging out now," he pointed out, and she nodded half-heartedly. He had to remind himself that Beca was not his girlfriend anymore; if she were going through one of funks, she would have to crawl out of herself. He couldn't help her anymore. "When do you leave for L.A.?"
She sighed. "Not for another two weeks. Work doesn't start until July, so my dad and stepmom want to make a road trip out of it. It should be excruciating."
"Why are they going?"
"Unlike some people, I don't have a realtor scouring L.A. for a great, rent-controlled apartment on my behalf."
"A necessary evil then."
Beca nodded and reached up to fiddle with her ear spike. "Jesse, are you sure you want to –"
"Jesse!" He whipped around to see Cassie walking their way.
"Shit," Beca grumbled, watching Cassie with wary eyes. Cassie wasn't particularly warm to their friendship.
"I'll be there in a second, Cas," he replied, and she stopped in her tracks, her eyes narrowing at Beca. "What were you saying?"
"I need a favor. It's corny, and you can't laugh," Beca demanded.
"Me? Laugh at you? I wouldn't dare!"
She held up her hand, a camera dangling from her wrist. "I want a graduation picture of us. Something to… I don't know… remember you by, I guess."
"That's not corny at all," he insisted. "It's good to know that I rubbed off on you in some way."
She smirked and crossed her arms. "So you'd like to think."
"Come here," he said, looping an arm over her shoulders. She handed him the camera – they had learned long ago that she had a penchant for cutting their heads off – as he bent his legs to level their height difference. He pressed his cheek against hers, causing both of their graduation caps to go askew, and grinned widely before saying cheese and snapping the picture.
Beca snatched the camera from his hands before he could inspect his handiwork, and looked down at the screen. She nodded slowly and gave him a tremulous smile. "It's a good picture."
He opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by an irritated Cassie. "Jesse, our parents are waiting."
"You should go," Beca said monotonously. "It's still not too late for her to sic her sorority sisters on me. I could maybe take one or two, but they're hard to fight off in packs."
Jesse motioned for Cassie to wait just a moment longer and turned back to Beca. There was something bothering her besides a rare moment of nostalgia.
"This isn't goodbye forever, you know."
"Jesse –"
"No, seriously." He took her hand and squeezed, ignoring Cassie's indignant harrumph. "You're stuck with me whether you like it or not. I'm always here for you."
She gave him a sad smile. "Thanks."
"I'll call you soon, okay?" She nodded, and despite Cassie's glower boring into his back, he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Take care, Bec."
He ran off to join a fuming Cassie, but he only laughed off her nagging and looped an arm around her waist as they made their way through the crowd. She may not have been as colorful as Beca was, but Cassie was just what he needed. They were halfway across the Quad when he heard Beca shout, "Hey, nerd!"
He turned, and she cupped her hands around her mouth so he could hear her. She sang a single line, her voice echoing across the Quad:
"Don't you forget about me!"
Jesse knew she would think it was cheesy before he even did it, but he raised his fist in acknowledgment. Much to his surprise, though, Beca smiled cheekily and punched her fist in the air as well.
February 2025
"That's everything. Jesse… Jesse, are you listening to me?"
Jesse snapped out of his drunken reverie to stare blearily at his wife – his soon-to-be ex-wife – over his whiskey tumbler.
"Do you need any help getting your stuff packed? I don't want you to drag your feet, and we have to pay rent for another month."
"No."
Cassie, or Cassandra as she preferred to be called now, placed her hands on her hips and looked down sadly at him. "I hate seeing you like this."
"I hate seeing you at all," he slurred. "So we're even."
"For what it's worth, Jesse, I am sorry. We both know things haven't been the same since Charl–"
Jesse shrugged. "Just get out, Cassie… andra. Cassandra."
Cassandra opened and closed her mouth several times before finally turning around, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor as she left the apartment. No doubt her boyfriend was waiting downstairs for her. Now they were going to go live happily ever after in his penthouse apartment, and she'd carry around a Yorkie in her Louis Vuitton, and they'd give each other herpes.
He stood, rocking slightly on his feet, and made his way to the kitchen to pour him another glass of whiskey. Then he walked back to the living room and stood in the middle of the room, surveying the wreck of his life. No wife, no kids, no place to live after next week; hell, he didn't even have a dog. He hated his job; yeah, sure he produced music for sitcoms with laugh tracks, but it's not like he was making music. He mostly handled finances and royalties. The only person he was moving to tears was himself, and those were tears of bored frustration.
He took a few big gulps of his drink and nodded his head complacently. Yep, he could not stay here. He had to get the hell out of dodge, start over with a clean slate, begin a new chapter in his life, and all those other clichés.
Jesse ran a hand down his face and sighed. He just needed a plan. He had nothing tying him down anymore, so it didn't matter if he ended up in Chicago, Illinois or Dodson, Montana; he just had to get out of New York City. It suddenly occurred to him that he should let fate decide, get a map of the continental United States, and just point.
He spent approximately half an hour searching the apartment for a map before he realized he didn't own one, so he finally pulled one up on Google.
"You go wherever your finger lands," he told himself. "No going back. Unless it's in Louisiana, then you get an automatic redo."
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and pointed randomly at his monitor.
"Shit," he muttered drunkenly when he opened them. He couldn't live in the ocean. Pineapples under the sea were not a viable option. Could he reselect? He had told himself no going back. So he improvised by dragging his finger inland. His finger was now smack between Los Angeles and San Diego. Now what?
He didn't know anyone in San Diego, but he had a few business contacts in L.A. He knew Benji was living there with his wife and son, so it's not like he wouldn't know anyone there. It would be a new beginning; he would follow his college plans and move to L.A. in hopes of becoming a real music supervisor and composer. And then a fuzzy image started to form in his inebriated brain; a memory he had long ago locked away: Beca Mitchell standing in the Quad at Barden, bedecked in a too long graduation gown, with her fist held high.
Yeah, Jesse decided, L.A. was as good a place as any.
Author's Note: The title comes from Fort Atlantic's song "Let Your Heart Hold Fast."
This is my first multi-chapter fanfic in a while, so hopefully everything goes smoothly, and my inspiration sticks around for a while. I'm hoping to update at least once a week, and I'm not a review hound by any means, but please feel free to politely encourage me to continue if you see that I'm a little slow with a new chapter.
Here's a little something that I will leave you to ponder upon while I polish Chapter One: Jesse is not above self-preservation. I find that one of the most poignant parts of Pitch Perfect is right after Beca and Jesse tell each other good luck. I fully expected Jesse to turn around and give her one last look before he went on stage, but he didn't. Am I the only one who noticed this? Mr. Swanson can be a little unpredictable. ;-)
I hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: Pitch Perfect is the property of Universal Studios. I'm just manipulating it for my own nefarious (and strictly nonprofit) purposes.