I am afraid to lose her
But that's how it'll be
I'll leave her for it's better
And take away the burden that's me
She'll prosper without me to interfere
Alas! She'll be better off without me
That is the sad truth
And that's what it'll forever be
~ Sophia Reginald
He didn't know when it began – the point in time in which he began awaiting her arrival or started seeking out missions on which they'd be together. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment he started dreaming about her but all of a sudden, he was in love with her.
It had been his gravest mistake to have given in to her requests and to his desire when all his instincts had been screaming otherwise. But it had been; for it was nothing compared to what he had done now. Marrying her and making her an outcast amongst her own peers seemed small when he looked at the deed he had now committed. Her parents were already ashamed of their marriage and now he had made it worse. He had impregnated her.
He was sure it would be like him. Cursed; looked down upon by everyone in the wizarding community due to an affliction it had no control over. Even if it wasn't, he was sure it'd hate the fact that its father was a victim to such an illness. His own child would hate him; abhor him; detest him.
It would be better if he left them: his wife and child. Her parents would look after them well enough. Moreover, Dora was more than capable of taking care of herself and the child. Therefore, he'd leave. Leave them where it's safe – as safe as it can get in times like these, anyways – and he'd go and help with the war where he wouldn't have to see them.
Hopefully, he'd die so he could join the others; and his wife and child would mourn him rather than detest him for the comforts and reputation and status he would never be able to provide.