I was just siting here then BAM sad fanfic...I'm not really good at writing sad fanfics so it may be sucky and most likely will not be completely sad...so just bear with me. And also Karin is 17 in this story.

I ran through the rain trying to find someone...Some one who could see me in my current state.

I was in my Soul Reaper form and so was the boy on my back so it was hard to find help...Especially when the only people outside were people who had close to no spiritual pressure.

Why? Why does stuff like this happen to me? Someone very close to me always gets hurt because of me.

First Ichi-nii had almost gotten killed by Ulquiorra to protect me and now...Now...I don't even know if he'll make it...I have to find someone and quick, otherwise Toushirou will bleed to death.

I continued running until it finally hit me, guilt. If Toushirou died it would be my fault...all because I wasn't careful.

I felt tears well up in my eyes and I lost my will to run. I looked around, nobody was even near me not one single human being.

I let the tears fall free, I closed my eyes and screamed. After I was done screaming I shouted out, "Help! Somebody, Anybody!"

I had finally lost it and I fell to my knees jarring Toushirou. He let out a small whimper, of course it wasn't smart to jar him around more than nessacary.

I'm sure he had multiple broken bones, his stomach had been cut by a tree branch, and he was bleeding from the head.

The cut on his stomach had started out small but I know that either my jarringly fast running or his struggle to get up at first had deepened it by a lot.

How do I know this? Blood...The back of my shihakusho was soaked in blood, I could feel it. It was soaked through both top layers and with every move I made it ran down my back. My hakama had been absorbing the blood that ran down my back, so it never made it to the ground it was all either stuck to me or Toushirou.

And the blood from his head was being absorbed by the shoulder part of my top.

I tried again with the shouts hoping maybe, maybe, someone would hear me, "Help! Somebody, Anybody!" You could tell in my voice that I was crying I sounded...broken, "Help me. Save him." I whispered

Why? Why did I have to stand so close to the edge of that damn cliff? Why did I have to fall? Why did he have to save me? If he dies I'll never see him again. Why couldn't he just let me fall? I still have the Soul Society to go to but he...he doesn't if he dies, he disappears.

"Karin? Why are you...What happened?" I snapped my head up to look at the person talking

I felt relief wash over me...It was Ichi-nii and behind him Rukia, Renji, and Rangiku were trying to catch up to him.

Of course though he didn't make a move to help Toushirou he just stared at me with questioning eyes. Waiting for a response.

But I couldn't, I couldn't speak I could hardly breathe with how dry my throat was...A warning that sobs would escape me if opened my mouth.

Great I finally find help and I can't speak...how useless am I?

But of course Ichigo couldn't see the blood anyway...all he could see was me with a passed out Toushirou on my back.

And he was probably wondering why I was carrying Toushirou...after all he didn't even know we knew each other.

The others caught up after what seemed like eternity and Rangiku immediately ran over to see what was wrong.

"Wh-Why is Captain unconscious? What happened Karin?" She was reaching out for Toushirou but she was looking straight at me.

I let out a breath of relief and my lower lip started trembling. I broke down crying actually letting them see the vulnerable side of me.

I couldn't stand to be this weak. My hands automactically came up up to my face, making Toushirou fall to the ground.

When he didn't make a sound I lost all hope. I swallowed, "I tried...I tried...And it wasn't good enough! He's going to die and it's all my fault!"

I saw Rangiku's eyes widen in suprise then she jumped for Toushirou shaking him, "Captain? Captain! What happened?"

I didn't answer the question I just shook my head, "It doesn't matter...Just save him, please."

Great now I'm pleading, Toushirou look what you did to me...Just open your eyes and look! PLEASE.

I heard Rangiku pick Toushirou up, which he responded to with a whimper. I almost smiled, he was still alive.

I managed to notice Renji and Rangiku flashstep away and after a few pleas from Rukia so did Ichigo.

But Rukia stayed she knelt in front of me, "Karin. He's not going to die, he's strong and stubborn, he'll fight as long as he can, and by then we'll have him healed...O.k?"

I looked up at her unsure, "But I had him on my back and I couldn't feel his breathing. And when I dropped him he didn't even make a sound, he's so close to dying."

Rukia frowned, "True, but it's not like he hasn't been this close before. When Aizen first betrayed us...We don't know why but Captain Hitsugaya was his main target. He wanted to make him suffer both physically and emotionally... Also we haven't told Ichigo about you being friends with Captain Hitsugaya. That's for you to do."

I nodded and stood up, Rukia stood up with me. I smiled feeling a lot more relieved, "Thanks Rukia but you can't stop me worrying about him. He's my best friend of course I'm going to worry. But I do feel a lot better knowing that he's got a good chance of surviving."

My best friend. It felt wrong to call him that, which was weird because that's what he is. So why did it feel like I was leaving something out when I called him that?

I've got a pretty good idea actually but I refuse to believe it. After all my brain comes up with a lot of crazy ideas. No, I refuse to believe it.

We went to my house knowing that's where the others went. Let me tell you one thing...I have never been so grateful that Hanataro existed. He happened to be in my house when they brought Toushirou in according to Renji.

But even after Toushirou was healed up he didn't wake up. Rangiku said he just needed time to recover the blood he lost but I wasn't so sure.

I stayed scared that he could die any second.

The next day was school, to say I was distracted would be an understatement, but I managed to do all of my school work and get through the day.

When I got home I asked if Toushirou had woken up. He hadn't. And yes Toushirou was in our house. He was in Ichigo's bed, Ichigo was currently sleeping on the couch.

The rest of the day was spent by Toushirou's side hoping he would wake up...but at the same time I didn't want him to wake up when I was there.

I don't know...but I think it would be pretty awkward for both of us. He would wake up to me staring at him and I wouldn't be able to find anything to say.

When I went to school the next day I was more distracted and found it hard to do my work. Is this how Toushirou felt when Momo was in a coma? Momo. Just what was she to him?

Toushirou didn't wake up that day either. But I still spent my afternoon by his side. Waiting.

The next day I began to think that Toushirou would never wake up. I didn't do my work at all but I made sure to look like I was.

Another afternoon waiting by his side with no answer.

In school the next day I was too scared for Toushirou to even look like I was doing my work. I just stared out the window longing to go home. To make sure that he was O.k. To make sure he was alive.

It took half the day for the teacher to notice I wasn't doing anything.

He walked over to me and tapped me on the head with a pencil, "Kurosaki. Would you please put whatever useless thoughts you're thinking in th..."

I stood up and punched him in the face. I felt tears surface to my eyes, "My best friend could die any second now and you're calling my thoughts useless? Well if me worrying about him is so useless to you then you obviously haven't lost anyone special to you! And you don't care about me or anyone do you? Well I'll tell you one thing right now! If you're so bothered by me not paying attention: If Toushirou dies you won't have to worry about me bothering you. You won't see me alive again if he dies. So just leave me alone!" I already lost Mom I don't want to lose Toushirou too. And I know going off on the teacher like that wasn't nessacary but I couldn't take it anymore.

The teacher recovered from the punch and looked at me, "I may not have had the right to call your thoughts useless. But hitting a teacher is a call for expulsion. And on top of that you insulted me. However since you had such a good reason for hitting me I'll let you get off with suspension. Kurosaki Karin you are suspended for 1 week. Go tell the principal of my decision."

Everyone was staring at us. I broke the promise I made to myself at the beginning of highschool, I let them see me cry.

Yuzu hurried out of her seat in front of mine and hugged me. I looked down at her, "Yuzu let go."

Yuzu looked up at me, yes she's shorter than me, and said, "I'll let go when you stop blaming yourself."

I sighed, "Yuzu look. I blame the person responsible which just so happens to be me. So let go."

Yuzu made a 'hmmph' sound and let go. I started walking towards the door.

Just as I reached to open it I was stopped by a, I have to admit, handsome voice, "Karin!"

I turned around, it was Kei Kyo speaking, probably the shyest guy in the whole school. I do believe several girls try to get him to speak everyday. Until now I'd never heard him speak once.

I noticed his position, he was standing with both hands on his desk and was blushing like crazy, "Yes, Kei?"

He swallowed, "I may not know this Toushirou but would you tell him that I wish him luck? Both you and him."

I almost broke down in the middle of the classroom, "Sure thing..."

I must've looked like I was going to cry big time because everybody stood up and smiled sadly, "Us too."

I nodded fearing that if I tried to speak I would really break down. I never really thought anyone would care about me but it was obvious they were saying these things so I wouldn't cry. So I would go back to being normal old violent me.

I managed to smile before I opened the door and walked to the principal's office.

The principal just agreed and sent me home. I walked home thinking about what the others had said. But how was I supposed to tell him if he never wakes up.

I knew that even Rangiku had started to believe that he would never wake up and she was the most optimistic of us all.

When I got home Ichigo asked me, "What're you doing home, school's still going on."

I looked at my feet, "I got suspended."

I could just see him raise an eyebrow, "Really why?"

I sighed, "I punched the teacher in the face."

Ichigo chuckled, "How did you not get expelled?"

I looked back up at him, "I had a good reason...Oh! Has Toushirou woken up yet?"

The amusement died in in his voice and he slowly shook his head.

I looked down again, "Oh. Well if you need me you'll know where I'll be."

He nodded and I slowly walked up the steps and into Ichigo's room. I looked at Toushirou, if I didn't know any better I would say he was sleeping.

He was breathing evenly and he had one hand by the side of his face the other on his stomach.

If he had been awake he wouldn't be here he would be in the Soul Society, today was the day they had to go back.

I sighed, walked over to the bed, and knelt beside it. I reached out and put my hand on Toushirou's forehead.

My arms came to a cross on the edge of the bed, making a good head rest. I put my chin on my arms and watched his chest rise and fall, "He doesn't even have a fever so why won't he wake up?...More importantly how's he surviving with food and water?"

O.k so anyone who's reading this and is waiting for me to update Private School or Worst Fears...I'm sorry but I'm going to have to take a break from those stories and try something different...this is it I hope you enjoy. And don't forget to review!