Chapter 1: Dr Pepper and His Tres Amigos (part 1)

Tonio had just got back from his amazing opera performance to watch the news on his TV. When he turned it on, he was in for a shock.

"Hello, I'm Kennith and I am here reporting on the death of Kaito, head of the Shion Intelligence Agency (SIA)-"

Rolling his deep brown eyes, Tonio changed the channel. Of course Kaito was going to die. He's the only recorded failure in Vocaloid history!

"HEY! Do you want a repeat of 1987?" yelled Kennith's high pitched voice.

"This is 1965, you imbecile. Move along." Tonio said monotonously. Kennith continued to yell the report over the Doctor Who episode. Tonio was so annoyed that he muted the television, grabbed a record player and turned his Swan Lake music full blast. He didn't have time to listen to this kid rambling on about the death of a pathetic failure like Kaito.

The TV broke from the volume of the record, allowing Kennith to step out. Tonio tried to grab one of his silk cushions and shove it into his face but the young boy was too strong and he threw the cushion out of Tonio's window.

"I am your superior, K. And you, Tonio, are my agent."

Tonio started laughing. He couldn't believe that an 18-year-old from the future would be his leader. "Stop laughing! You're not that much older than me!" Kennith said. He had had just about enough with this "secret agent" he'd been sent to collect.

"I'm a 40 year old virgin." Tonio stated. Why did he get the feeling that he was predicting future events?

They both stood there in awkward silence.

"So..." Tonio said, "What's my agent name?" Kennith thought about it for a few seconds.

"Shall we call you... James Bond?" he suggested, his curled red hair bouncing around.

"I'd rather not rip on a British snob who drinks Martini and lives around the M62." Tonio deadpanned.

"M16," Kennith corrected, "Al Tonio?"

"Are you trying to get me assassinated?"

"No, but that would be a much healthier alternative. How about-"

"How about we call me Opera and shut up?" Tonio said. Kennith seemed very happy about this name.

"Great choice! You are Opera Bond, one of many illegitimate love children from James Bond!"

"Wait, WHAT?!"

"Come on!"

Later, K and sniggers Opera were in their secret hideout.

"Sooo, what's the deal?" Opera asked.

"Well, it's believed that Kaito was killed by three Spanish Vocaloids who call themselves the Tres Amigos. Do you know anyone like that?"

"I don't know, K, although I did see two distinctly non-anime people being pelted with teacups because, well... they're not anime."

"But you're not anime, why are you okay?" K said, flipping through numerous non-important documents.

"Because I don't have an official design." Opera replied."Oh." was all K could say.

"We need to investigate into this bland and racially insensitive trio to see if Kaito's involvement with the FDC has anything to do with his disappearance."

"We're looking for the Federation of Drunk Crumpets?"

K sighed. This was going to be a long day.

"No, Opera. The FDC, or Failure's Drinking Club, is a place where all the unpopular Vocaloids meet to drink. It houses Kaito, Meiko, Kiyoteru...even Ryuto Gachapoid, and he's underage!" K explained, nearly throwing his table over.

"Woah there, keep it easy!" Opera exclaimed. "So, where am I going?"

K replied, "We're going to Japan to investigate and see if the FDC's involvement in a case with rocket launchers may have also been a factor of the death."

"How are we going to get there?" Opera asked. K leaned over his desk towards the newly recruited agent, a smirk evident on his face.

"We go...by plane!"

At the airport, he was stopped by a young girl. She had long green hair that curled up at the ends with a small ponytail at the side. Her eyes were the same colour as her hair. It was Macne Nana!

"Oh. My. GOSH! You're so kawaii desu ne, let me take your picture!" she squealed, pulling a camera stand from her hat. Opera groaned. Even a cringey teenager could recognise him in the "disguise" (and by disguise, K meant a blue coloured tuxedo as opposed to the normal black one. Fedora and all).

He sat on the stool, fake smiling so that Nana could take his picture without fuss. Right when she was about to take her third photograph, two white-haired people came and blocked the shot. Nana tried to throw her special bread at them but the woman batted it away with her beer bottle. Nana ran away crying because she no longer served a purpose in the mission.

The white-haired people brought him to a chauffeur. She seemed to be in her 20s and had short brown hair.

"Meiko? Since when are you allowed to drive?" Opera asked, but the chauffeur couldn't answer because she was too drunk. Opera yelled at Meiko that they were going to crash if she didn't leave the main road but she wasn't sober enough to understand. Opera concluded that she was an enemy agent and shot her. The people who took him just stared in amazement.

"What?" Opera said.

"She was your only method of transport," the woman said.

"So what? I'm just as capable at driving as she is!" the agent argued, knowing that it was no use. The man opened the cyanide cabinet that he stole from a drug lord (Big Al) and tried to place it into the cigarette without his sister knowing. He failed.

"Dell, no! I'm more suicidal than you!" the woman said.

"No, Haku, I'm more suicidal!" Dell argued back.

Opera got sick of their arguing after five minutes. He kicked them out of the car and drove himself to the Shion residence.

At the Shion residence, he knocked on their door.

No reply.

He opened the door and walked inside. Nothing wrong so far. He was about to go home when his walkie talkie vibrated in his pocket. It was K.

"Opera, your skills as a spy are laughable to say the least. You straight up murdered one of the FDC members without my permission, kicked out a bunch of suicidal teenagers and drove off in the car that they stole! Do you have anything to say for yourself, young but not really man?"

Opera chuckled. He knew exactly what to say.

"At least I'm still alive."

TO BE CONTINUED...