Author's Note: Just something I wrote up in the past 30 minutes. Not beta'd just wanted to get it out there.

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine.

As Blaine walked up to the Hudmel household for his and Kurt's first official date, he was a little nervous. Wes and David had warned him about crazy obsessed fathers and how they could give the speech to their daughter's boyfriends to try and protect him. But that was a crazy notion, right? Kurt wasn't a girl. He was a guy. He was just as much as a guy as him and Finn, so Burt probably wouldn't try to scare him. Would he?

Finn answered the door and let Blaine in. "Hey Blaine. Why don't you come in? Kurt's still getting ready, it might take a while." Blaine nodded, well aware of how long it took Kurt to get ready sometimes. "Go on into the living room, take a load off." Blaine was a little bit wary of the tone in Finn's voice, but Blaine did just that. He shouldn't have. He should have waited right where he was, because the moment he got into the living room, he saw Burt Hummel. Cleaning his shotgun on the living room table. Blaine gulped.

"Hello Mr. Hummel."

"Hello Blaine, nice to see you." It was nerve wracking, watching your boyfriend's father cleaning a gun right in front of you.

"Nice to see you too."

"How have you been?" Blaine was sure the pleasantries were going to be exhausted soon, but if he could prolong them until Kurt got down into the living room, maybe he would never have to have this conversation with Burt Hummel.

"I've been very well Sir, and yourself?" Yes, that's right Blaine, show him the respect that he wants. Remind him that you were raised in a respectable home and know when to hold your tongue properly. Might make him think you know when to hold your tongue from entering his son's mouth later on during the date.

"Well you see Blaine, I haven't been all that great lately. See…the other day my son came home and said he had a date on Friday. His first date. With who he called, his boyfriend. His first boyfriend." Blaine gulped.

"He did?"

"Yes, he did. It shocked me a little bit. Shocked me a little more when he said that it was you." Burt said, as he picked up the barrel of the gun to begin cleaning it.

"May I be so bold as to ask why?" Blaine was playing with fire, and he knew it. But he had to go big, or go home. No one ever made it big by playing it safe.

"It all started around Valentine's Day."

'Ahh….that.' Blaine thought. 'Will I ever live that down?'

"See, a few days before Valentine's Day, my son came home…upset, hurt and confused. Now I wasn't ready for the talk about him liking a guy, but we had it anyway." Strike one against Blaine. "Turns out, the guy he liked….had been leading him on. Horrible thing, isn't it? Being led on? Being shown outward affection, and then finding out it was all a ruse?" Yea….Blaine was in trouble.

"I'm sure that was very hard for you."

"It was. What came a few weeks later was even harder. The same boy my son was crushing on…I found drunk, in his bed one Saturday morning. Even passed all that, a few days later, I come home to find my son baking. He only bakes when he's stressed. So I asked him what happened. He didn't say much. But he did let it slip that this same boy…compared him to Karofsky. The bully who tormented my son for years." Strike two.

"That was a mistake." Burt held up a hand to stop whatever excuse was about to drip from Blaine's mouth.

"Once again…a couple weeks later, this same boy comes to me, crossing all boundaries of appropriateness and tells me what I needed to do in the parenting department, with my own son." Strike three, you're out.

Blaine gulped. He knew he was in deep shit. He did some horrid things over the past couple months. It was no wonder Burt was trying to scare the ever loving shit out of him.

"I'm a forgiving man Blaine. I can forgive a person when they cross a line…make a mistake…or accidentally hurt someone without realizing it. Truly I can. But even I have my limits." Blaine nodded, knowing that this would not be the right time to speak.

"Kurt likes you. We both know that." Burt looked Blaine up and down, appraising the boy before him. "I'm assuming that since it took you 5 months to ask him out, that you've discovered that you have feelings for him as well." Blaine nodded his head.

"I do, I really do."

"I want my son to be happy Blaine. When you two are not fighting, or at odds, he seems very happy and I'm glad for that. I really am. So before I ask my next question, I want you to understand that I will not be very accommodating the next time he comes home crying over something you've done. Understand?" Blaine nods. He seems to be doing a lot of nodding his head tonight, but with this situation, he really can't do much else.

"What are your intentions towards my son?" Blaine gulped, trying to figure out how to say 'I love your son, and have to resist the urge to jump him every time I see him' without coming across as delinquent.

"I really care about him Mr. Hummel. That fact has never been in question. Ever since I first met him, I knew there was something about him that drew me to him, at the time it was platonically, now those feelings have changed romantically." He started, not knowing where to finish this. "I can't promise that I won't hurt him again. We're teenage boys, we make mistakes. We get signals confused and take things out of context when we overhear something we shouldn't have. However I can promise, that I will be there for him whenever he needs me. I will be there to comfort him when he's sad, I will be there when he needs help in Calculus." It was a well known fact to anyone that knew Kurt, that Kurt sucked in Calc. "I'll be there when he gets upset over missing out on the latest Marc Jacobs' jacket and be there for him when he doesn't get another solo at Dalton, because our council is too stupid to recognize amazing talent when they see it."

"When you came to my shop a few weeks ago…"

"That was simply out of concern for a friend." Blaine assured him. "I know people in his shoes who were never educated about sex and got in trouble for it later down the road. I did not want Kurt to end up like that."

"Very well. Just remember Blaine, you hurt my son, I hurt you. Make him happy, and you'll continue to be happy. Are we clear?"

"Crystal, sir." Kurt finally came downstairs and saw Blaine sitting nervously on the couch in his living room, and Burt polishing his gun.

"Dad, you didn't." Kurt wailed. "Please tell me you didn't do what I think you just did."

"I was just getting to know your boyfriend here, Kurt."

"By threatening him with the gun? How cliché could you get Dad?" Kurt growled out, clearly aggravated as he walked over towards Blaine, who stood up to hug him. "Come on Blaine, let's go." The pair turned around, but Burt's self-satisfying smirk on his face, gave Kurt reason to pause. "Blaine why don't you go outside, I'll meet up with you in a second?" Blaine nodded, relieved to get away from the firing squad. "Dad, you want me to be happy, right?" Burt nodded.

"Of course I do Kurt."

"Good. " Burt's eyes widened a little. "Because if you just scared my first boyfriend away, someone who makes me happy, you will not be happy." Burt went to open his mouth and retort, but Kurt held up a hand to silence him. "Just remember who controls your diet. Carole, and me. If I lose Blaine because of you, you're in for a rough rest of the year. Tofu, sprouts, mungbeans…get the picture? The moment I tell Carole what happened in here tonight, she will undoubtedly support me. So you better hope that you didn't just scare him off, or there will be no meat for you for 8 long months." And with that Kurt walked out the door and off to his date with Blaine. Burt sat shocked, not knowing if he should ground Kurt for his impetuous attitude or be impressed with his son's ability to no let anyone 'push the Hummels around' even if it was another Hummel.

But there's one thing, Burt learned tonight. Kurt can take care of himself. At least in this department.