DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to iCarly or the characters.
A/N: in Carly's POV
Thanks to my Beta RoxxiSanders
SUMMARY: The last of the evening sun fell as the room seemed to take on a black effect. The rain fell outside and patted down on the lawn and it wasn't just raining outside, I knew that it was raining in Spencer's heart as well as mine.
TITLE: The Rain Fell
-iCarly-iCarly-iCarly-
"Don't worry Spencer, it'll get easier dude." Freddie used to tell him. He told him that because he wished his words were true…that he wished he could make them true but he knew that it wasn't true. The thing was…he knew that Spencer cried himself to sleep at night because of what she did and he knew that none of it made sense. She had left him, left him with a tiny scrap of worthless love and a thirteen year old child to look after amongst his sculptures and paintings. He doesn't do that now. He never sculpts and he never ever paints because he's instantly reminded of her. He doesn't cook well he does but normal food not spaghetti tacos. He only every makes simple food like toast and sandwiches because they were easy and reminded him the least of the woman with thick brown hair and glasses…the woman he used to call mother…the woman who was nothing but a memory now. She had left a tiny, insignificant scrap of her heart behind which was nothing in comparison to the love Spencer had shown to me when I was growing up. It hurt, knowing that I had never really been close to my mom because Spencer was the one who tucked me into bed at night when I was afraid of the creatures in my closet. He was the one who kissed my forehead and told me that it'd be fine. He was the one I'd show my spelling test to and he'd always smile and congratulate me.
What she did to him was cruel. A horrid decision; she had to make it but she didn't have to mess it up this badly. She'd left everything to do with us behind; she didn't want to know us anymore. We shamed her, Spencer couldn't get that thought out of his mind and it was that thought that made him cry so much. Rejection was hard and I'd always be there to help him through it but nothing compared to her hugs, her congratulations, her kisses at night when she tucked him into bed as a child because although I couldn't really remember it…he could. Nothing could make those memories fade, nothing could make them go away, make the situation easier and Spencer didn't want them to. The memories were all he had left and all he could recall of that woman with thick brown hair and glasses he wanted to resent so much but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't…he couldn't stop loving her. She'd left him with next to nothing. Me, a little food and a pile of debt, Spencer had his own apartment but still I was her daughter. I hadn't got to know her as well as he had and he wished that I had.
At first it seemed okay, we just thought that mom was getting off work late but then the horror built and we realised that she wasn't coming home…she never was. She'd taken everything, her clothes, her family photos…her memories but not me…not her daughter and that hurt more than anything. Not a trace of her was left behind and that meant that Spencer had nothing to hold onto. He knew mom and she knew him, they were inseparable…until that night and the same stab of pain surged in Spencer's heart. The last of the evening sun fell as the room seemed to take on a black effect. The rain fell outside and patted down on the lawn and it wasn't just raining outside, it was raining in Spencer's heart as well as mine. Our mother had left us, left us with nothing and as we listened to the rain outside, every droplet sending echoes through our ears, the realisation set in that she must have loved us a little to leave us when we were together but that love was fading fast and everyday when she didn't come back it faded even more. Soon it would disappear, soon Spencer would be all I'd have left but I also knew that when that time came I wouldn't mind because I knew that Spencer was never going to leave me.
"Night Kiddo," he whispers when he tucks me in and kisses my forehead and I remember that I don't need that woman with thick brown hair and glasses because I have Spencer…I have my big brother and nobody, not even that woman…my mother…could take that away from me.
-iCarly-iCarly-iCarly-
A/N: Please review, I'd be really thankful. :D Thank you!