First off, can I just say that I'm sorry? I really am. Sorry, that is. It's been SO LONG since I've gotten anything up here… I haven't been inspired of late, but a couple things popped into my head, and I'm even going to recommence work on TMBTM and Two Birds… I'm not lying. Really.
But for now, my loves, here's another silly [teensy] one-shot for your viewing pleasure, based on what I consider to be one of the greatest love songs of all time. It's called "You're Awful," and you may recognize it from the musical On The Town (as sung by Frank Sinatra). Since the whole song is comprised of teasing comments, I thought it'd be just perfect for our favorite couple: Lily and James. This fic takes place after they're in an established relationship.
- Lorraine
P.S. Sorry in advance if the formatting is confusing... I tried to make it clear, but I'm not sure I succeeded.
YOU'RE AWFUL
Lily Evans was sitting with her boyfriend, James Potter, on the sofa in the Head Common Room. He was sitting with his back against the armrest, and she was nestled comfortably between his legs, her head against his chest. They were supposed to be going to Hogsmeade on part two of their date, which had started with skating on the frozen Black Lake. But for the past fifteen minutes, James had been waiting while Lily finished her apparently very engrossing book. She'd been murmuring comments occasionally, such as:
"Wow! I had no idea there were so many people working at the Ministry!" and, "Did you know that Dumbledore's been offered the position of Minister twelve times?"
This went on for another five minutes, before Lily snapped the book shut, a look of excitement and wonder on her face. "James, this series is so interesting! Will you pass me the next one from behind you?"
James pouted. "But what do you want that for? We have plans!"
Lily frowned, sitting up. "Nevermind, I'll get it." She walked behind the couch to reach for the book and headed back to her perch, already flipping to the first chapter. "I just love this author! I wish I'd stayed in all day reading."
"Thanks a lot, Lils," James grumbled.
"Oh no, James, I'm sorry. I had fun today, really! I just meant—"
"Yeah, well, why don't you whisper sweet nothings in my ear, like how many lifts there are in the Ministry of Magic, or when exactly the Floo Network was initiated," James rambled, getting angrier.
"No, James, honestly, you know I love you. And you look very handsome!" she said placatingly, coming to stand closer to him.
"Whatever, Lily," he said, turning away. "Just tell it to the book."
Finally cottoning on that James was quite upset by her ignoring him, Lily quickly Vanished the tome in question. She put a hand on his shoulder to turn him around, and she showed him her empty hands.
He grinned quickly, pulling her into a tight hug. "Lily, you care! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Well, I don't know, James. I don't know how to be a smooth talker. You always know what to say to me, but sometimes I'm just more comfortable around my books," James tried to interrupt, but Lily kept on. "No, that's not really it. I think it's that being around you is so comfortable that sometimes I have to remind myself to be social with you." As James tried to figure out whether this was a good thing or a bad thing, Lily gave him a charming smile, and began to sing.
"I'd like to whisper sweet nothings,
Those words that everyone knows.
But my thoughts get tangles,
All my words get mangled…
But since you asked me, here goes:"
James cocked an eyebrow at his girlfriend's antics, but she just grabbed him and began to waltz around the room, even as she continued serenading him.
"You're awful," he made to stop, offended—and not a little confused—but she just smiled at him forced him to keep dancing. "Awful good to look at," he smiled a little, still puzzled by this song.
"Awful nice to be with,
Awful sweet to have and hold.
You're nothing," he bristled again, and Lily rolled her eyes.
"Nothing if not lovely,
Nothing if not dazzling,
Nothing but pure gold!"
Finally catching on to the theme, James relaxed and began to dance in earnest, listening to Lily's soft, melodic voice.
"You're frightening,
Frightening me when you say you might go away.
You're boring,
Boring into my heart to stay."
James leaned down to kiss Lily on the nose, before starting his own verse. Lily laughed as he began to warble—after all, singing was not one of James Potter's many strong suits—but she stifled her giggles when he looked at her reprovingly. He continued unselfconsciously:
"You're cheap, dear.
Cheap at any price, dear.
Cheap for such a diamond,
Cheap for such a pearl!
What you've said before I'll say again:
You're awful,
Awful nice to be my girl,"
He finished with a flourish, twirling Lily in a neat circle before drawing her back into his arms. She wasn't done, though, and kept singing.
"You're old," he smirked, wondering where she was going with this one, but she just ploughed on.
"Old with worldly wisdom,
Old like Gorgonzola,
Old like vintage French champagne.
"You're so-so.
So, so kind of charming,
So, so kind of witty,
So, so… I can't explain!"
James' turn again, he countered:
"Can't stand you,
Can't stand you to give some fella the eye!
Don't want to see you
In the arms of another guy!
Who needs you?
Needs you to distraction,
Needs you till he's crazy,
Needs you rain or shine."
For the last verse, Lily and James sang together, belting out the final words:
"I'm the one who needs you,
And I think you're awful,
Awful nice to say you're mine."
James drew out the last syllable for several seconds too long, sending Lily into a fit of guffaws, and his own chuckle joined soon after. When they were both out of breath from laughing, Lily stood on tiptoe and pecked James on the lips, before she grabbed him by the hand, dragging him to the door.
"Come on, silly! We've got a date to go on, I believe," she grinned mischievously, opening the portrait and clambering out.
He rolled his eyes, snatching a scarf from the coat rack by the door. He jumped down behind Lily, draping the scarf around her neck and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. "You're awful," he whispered in her ear, and she leaned back, tilting her head to kiss him on the chin.
"Back atcha, love. Now let's go to the village! I heard something about vintage French champagne…"
Not really sure how this turned out. Let me know, will you?