DISCLAIMER: Homestar Runner characters, places, and items created by Mike and Matt Chapman (The Brothers Chaps)
On August 15th of 2005, Homestar Runner wrote the words "Cool Tapes" on Marzipan's living room wall which inspired Marzipan to form a band called the Cool Tapes (with her singing and playing her guitar, Carol) featuring The Cheat (on drums) and Strong Mad (on bass). To celebrate five years of Cool Tapes' non-breakup status, I wrote this little fan-script, a tribute, if you will. Oh, and just so you know, the letters above the the words (or syllables as the case may be) in Marzipan's song in this script represent the notes to the melody of said song since I don't have a microphone or the software necessary to record the song myself. Anyway, here it goes. Hit it!
The Cool Tapes (Marzipan on guitar and vocals, Strong Mad on bass, and The Cheat on drums) are on their "Baddest of the Bands" stage during the daytime, performing their newest song. The band plays as Marzipan starts to sing:
"We're the Cool Tapes
Cool Tapes
Cooler than a bag of grapes
Four grapes
Oh, yeah, yeah!
We love to sing and we love to rock
We love to get down on our own block
We're the Cool Tapes Cool Tapes!"
The music ends on the last word sung. View shifts to Homestar Runner standing in front of the stage as the only audience present.
"Uh, Marzipan, your number one jam was cute and all," he tells Marzipan, "but, um... needs more rando. ...or at least some witch's brew."
And... that's it. A few references you may notice: The Cool Tapes originated from the 'toon "Cool Things" which is where the bag of four grapes comes from since Homestar got them as a refund for the cool shades dipped in yellow paint. As mentioned in the script, I used the Cool Tapes stage from episode 3 of "Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People" called "Baddest of the Bands" and set it in the daytime instead of at night. One of Marzipan's lines in the song she sings refers to her first song (by herself) titled (what else?) "Oh Yeah Yeah" from Strong Bad Email (sbemail) #59 "marzipan". (Yes, Marzipan has a sbemail named after her.) Homestar mentioning "number one jam" is a running gag on the site, starting with Strong Bad's hit "Everybody To The Limit". Homestar also "borrowed" the line "Needs more rando." from Strong Bad originally from sbemail #75 "funny", the first sbemail I ever saw which introduced me to Homestar Runner in the first place. And the "witch's brew" is another running gag on the site, mostly in the Halloween 'toons starting with 2002's "Pumpkin Carve-nival" from. You can watch the 'toon that started the Cool Tapes rise to popularity the Homestar Runner website for yourself. As for me, I'm gonna go... place. HAPPY 5TH ANNIVERSARY, COOL TAPES!