Happy Street: The Scheisengale.
By Nidonemo
CHAPTER ONE: My New Friend
The town erupted in a grand fiesta. Every citizen of the tiny roadside city had hearts in their eyes and joy in their voices. Wallets bulged with coin, and money was spent frivolously on nonsense and wares. Gifts were generously exchanged and food was greedily gorged upon. The citizens were celebrating the hard work everyone had been putting into the town, building new homes, new businesses, the brand new pathway to the forest, and of course welcoming the tourists who drove by their modest town day and night. A bright orange fox wearing a blue striped shirt and goggles exited his treehouse and took in the sights around him, he had started this town by himself and then enlisted the help of his friend Zoe, a white cat with red hair who always wore her blue hat and matching apron. She was a little quirky, ever since they were kids, but he liked her just the same.
"Billy! Billy come on! Let's party!" called Zoe from the cheese shop, which was boasting a sale on cheddar wheels. Billy smiled and raced over, eager to see what the price on gouda was today.
The town danced and sang, ate and drank, and partied hard. Suddenly everything came to a halt, the sky brightened back into it's usual azure blue, the music stopped, and the party was over in a moment no longer than a heartbeat. Everyone then went back to their regularly-paced lives, casually walking to and fro from one shop to the next browsing their wares with casual glances and gazes. Walking back to their homes, and taking short naps, their wallets refilled like magic as they slept so they could return to their happy and quiet consumerist lifestyles. No one was fazed by the abrupt end to the festivities, it just was how things were and that's what the citizens accepted life to be, like the sky being blue, and the clouds being white. It was the natural order and balance in the village, and everyone enjoyed it.
Zoe was skipping home from buying a fresh bouquet of daisies from the flower shop, humming a little tune. She sniffed her purchase and her chest was filled with peaceful joy. That's when she saw it; she stopped skipping and stared at the roof of one of the houses that lined the dirt road. All the houses were on one side of the street, looking out into the meadows then the beginning of the forest.
Her gaze was fixed upon something upon the roof; it was a medium-sized bird with a gray head with three long feathers sticking straight up out the top, a white body, and gray tailfeathers. It looked like a seagull, but it was much fluffier than any seagull Zoe had ever seen before. Plus the village was nowhere near the sea or any large body of water for that matter. The closest body of water was the creek that ran through the forest, but that was hidden by dense trees. This mysterious gray bird was certainly no seagull, but that didn't stop Zoe from falling in love with this beautiful creature. The gray feathers, the white wings, the cute little black eyes, the yellow beak, everything about this bird struck love into her heart!
Time seemed to slow and Zoe's breath caught in her chest as the gray bird opened its wings and flew gracefully over her head. It was a thing of beauty to her, such grace, such neatly preened feathers; she squinted in the sunlight, not wanting to lose sight of the bird. Then suddenly something wet fell on her shoulder with a little pitter pat. She looked and a little pile of bird poop met her gaze. She gasped and dropped her bouquet of daisies to the ground; a quivering finger touched the pile of feces on her shoulder and drew it closer to her sight. It was white, thick, and creamy to the touch. She stood there, frozen in the sunshine, the bird flying out of sight and into the forest.
Zoe stood there; her precious bird had crapped on her shoulder. Suddenly she ran, she ran and she ran, faster and faster, abandoning her daisies far behind her. "Billy! Oh, Billy! Where are you!? I need you Billy!" she cried through the streets, her voice shaking. Billy looked up from the fruit he was considering at the fruit stand as the white cat ran up to him, eyes wide, and her lips quivering.
"What's up, Zoe?" he asked, picking up an apple. Zoe thrust her poop-covered fingers in his face, lips quivering. "Oh, gross! Zoe, I'm so sorry that's really disgust-"
"Billy isn't it wonderful!?" she exclaimed.
The fox simply stared at her in disbelief. Her eyes sparkled like she had just fallen in love. Bird poop dripped from her extended fingers and shimmered on her shoulder in the early afternoon sunshine. "What?"
"It's like...snow! Billy! Billy it's like fresh, fallen snow!" she squealed, looking at the poop in her hands and cradling it.
Now, Billy has spent a lot of time with Zoe, and he had always been able to respectfully tolerate her unique personality. He didn't cringe when she ate her pancakes with mayonnaise in front of him at brunch, and he didn't suggest medication when she started making armies of tinfoil animal figures that covered her entire bedroom. However her newfound fascination with bird fecal matter started to really worry him.
"Zoe, its bird poop. Why don't we get you washed up and-"
Her eyes went wide and she shot her finger into the air, flinging the white glop dangerously close to his face. "LOOK! It's him! My sweet baby! Mommy's here!" she squealed.
Billy turned and saw a gray bird alight upon the fruit stand roof and start to preen its feathers. It popped its little head up and looked at Billy with its tiny, black, beady eyes. The bird's gaze seemed to slowly pierce his heart. The fox shivered, he didn't like the bird at all, it gave him a sense of dread. Despite Zoe's frantic cooing and waving, the bird kept its gaze locked on Billy, who in turn couldn't break his gaze with it. Suddenly the bird opened it's beak and let out a ear-wrenching screech, it lifted its tail feathers and a large pile of white glop fell out and slid down the fruit stand awning leaving a long slimy trail, coming to the edge and dribbling all over the apples.
"Oh that's just nasty!" Billy exclaimed, taking a quick step backward. The fruit stand owner's ears perked, a blue koala turned from his work and saw the mess.
"My apples! You filthy flying nuisance! How dare you!?" he grabbed his broom and swatted at the gray bird on his awning. The bird let out another terrible screech as it flapped into the air, and another big white slimy glob descended from its rear, tumbling down through the air and landing on the fruit stand owner's head in a squishy plop. "Oh my god! Get it off of me! That's so disgusting! I'm going to rip your feathers off you horrible monster!" he screamed desperately trying to rid his hair of the bird's filth.
Billy watched as the bird flew off to another part of town with Zoe chasing after, lovingly calling out to it like it was a long lost pet. Before the fox could try and go after her, a gray bear with brown hair in a tuxedo raced over, "ZOE! ZOE DO NOT TOUCH THAT BIRD! LEAVE IT ALONE!" he screamed, but it was of no use, Zoe was far too enchanted with the horrible bird. Agent Boon stomped his foot in frustration and then turned and grabbed Billy. "Billy, you need to listen to me very carefully. That bird is a terrifying monster and will bring doom to this village!"
-End of Chapter 1-