Disclaimer: Only in my dreams...
Written for the Animal, Vegetable, Mineral challenge on SGAFlashfic
By the Numbers
"No."
"Come on."
"No! Do you understand 'no'?"
"McKay."
"Tch, fine. Because I know you won't leave me alone. Is it an animal?"
"No."
In 675,789,345 realities, they never even made it to Atlantis. Various things stopped them. Government decisions, deaths of key players and the like. In half of those realities, the gate never made contact with the Pegasus Galaxy. In a tenth, half or more of the expedition died in route to Atlantis because the gate could not hold the lock. They never even had a chance.
"A Vegetable?"
"Nope."
"Oh, stop grinning. It's not like I don't have more chances."
In the first month alone the expedition crumbled in millions of realities. Most failed when Atlantis herself did. Either the ZPM did not have enough power to raise the city, or flooding had caused irreparable damage, making it uninhabitable. The realities that made it past this petered out once the ranking military commander of the city was captured along with several others, and the second in command failed to return from the rescue attempt. After that, tenuous relations with the first contacted race, the Athosians, broke down completely.
"A mineral?"
"Um...maybe."
"What? What do you mean maybe? How can something 'maybe' be a mineral?"
"Wait a second... metal is a mineral, right? I mean, it once was a mineral...right?"
"God, Sheppard!"
After the Wraith awakened, the realities expanded once more into the infinite. Most were negative, and understandably so. Some however, led to the surprisingly swift and total defeat of the Wraith, always leading to the comment of one Major "I knew they didn't look that tough."
"Well then is it bigger than a breadbox?"
"Well now you're just being sarcastic."
"Hey, valid question, thank you."
After the expedition reestablished contact with earth, realities were created and then destroyed by the simple decision of a few to go back home. Any who believed their lives were for naught need only to look at the mayhem reaped from one simple choice.
"Yes. No...hold on."
"God Sheppard, I'll be dead of old age long before you figure out the simple physical characteristics of your own item!"
Ironically, in 9,513 realities, Rodney McKay died within 8.7 seconds of making that statement. Depending on where they were in the city at the time, a large percentage was the result of an unexpected surgical strike from the Wraith. Some were the result of citywide defects which allowed for a massive infrastructural collapse, while some were physical malformalities which led to various fatal health conditions. There were also twelve unfortunate incidences involving bongos and a yo-yo, which surviving occupants of the city swore never to speak of again.
"So, how many is that?"
"I don't know. I thought you were keeping track."
"What? No, I thought you were."
"I think we're at fifteen."
"Well three of those don't count. 'Maybe' and 'How the hell should I know?' might be valid 20 Questions answers in Sheppard-land, but not here."
"They are if the question is about Magnetohydrodynamics..."
When looking at the 'bigger picture', relatively few of the realities lived or perished on the success or failure of inanimate machines. Most rested on the backs of the men and women who lived. Choices considered, made, or rejected shaped the universe into what it was, for better of for worse. Compared to the infinite upon infinite ways that the other realities cracked, it was amazing that any of them survived. But they did, and they were somehow held together by the glue of courage, friendship and the indomitable will to survive.
But one strand holds true throughout all the realities. McKay never got the right answer.
"That's 20!"
"Fine, I give up."
"Um, no, correction. You lost. You can't 'give up' if you just flat out lose."
"Whatever, what was the answer?"
"A toaster!"
"..."
"Come on, it was pretty obvious."
"No, no it wasn't."
"Well, I think you might have been over complicating things a little..."
"...This is a stupid game."
-End-
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