A/N: You lucky people get to read a story that, when I wrote it, ended up being fifteen typed pages long on MS Word. And that's using size nine font. Yay.
Okay, I wasn't going to upload this here, because it's technically the Christmas present to Wall-E Fanbase (). For that reason, it takes certain concepts - mostly Security Guard Auto - from our site. (Do NOT hate the Security Guard Auto. Seriously. I know you probably have no clue what I'm talking about, but DON'T GIVE ME ANY NEGATIVE COMMENTS ABOUT HIM.) Also, it's loosely based on the "Wall-E Christmas (AGAIN)" RP that we started earlier in December - or was it November? Anyway, that's where the idea comes from.
If you're one of the supporters of WENDI, then thanks, you're about the only thing that's convinced me to put this up.
I can't think of anything else to say in my Author's Note, although I'm sure I'm leaving something out. Just enjoy it. Oh, and if you must critique, critique my writing, not the content. I'm more than happy to recieve tips that could make my writing better (I know the ending of this was rushed, for example, but couldn't figure out how to fix it) but I'm not telling you to support this idea. Hopefully you're just reading it cause you're interested. Hopefully. Hopefully...
Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own Wall-E, EVE, Auto, or anybody else who's canon and makes an appearance in this. I do own WENDI. CODI belongs to the awesomely awesome eve94, whose story "Memories" you should probably read before you even think of reading this, and STANL-E and GAR-E belong to...I don't know if she has an account, but on Fanbase she's BR-E. For more history on her characters, go to Fanbase and read her fics. All the fancharacters were used with permission. Written permission. I can show it to you if you want.
The CODI Who Stole Christmas
A Wall-E Fanbase Christmas Story
Written by WENDI
[[[[Loosely]]]] Based on the Wall-E Fanbase Roleplay
Special Thanks to eve94 for letting me use CODI and to BR-E for letting me use STANL-E and GAR-E!
It was Christmas Eve. EVE had promised to tell WENDI, STANL-E, and GAR-E (and Wall-E) a story before they went to bed. So earlier that day, she had borrowed a translator from the Axiom so she could tell the tale.
"What story would you like me to read?" she asked.
"The Grinch!" exclaimed STANL-E.
"Ginch!" chirped WENDI.
"I've told you that story a hundred times!" EVE declared. "Time for something better."
"Better?" repeated GAR-E. "What could be better than 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas?'"
EVE smiled. "How about I tell you the story of 'The CODI Who Stole Christmas'?"
"Co-dee?" asked WENDI with a shiver.
"What's CODI got to do with Christmas?" demanded STANL-E.
"Oh, you'll find out," replied EVE with a wink. Then she began:
"All the humans in the human town liked Christmas a lot.
But CODI, who lived just inside the Axiom, did not!"
---
The first snow of winter was gently spinning down, a gentle flurry that wouldn't stick unless the fall grew heavier. That was the first thing WENDI noticed on the morning of December twentieth when her gaze passed over the hole-in-the-roof-turned-skylight.
"Lookit!" she cried, jabbing a gold finger at the sight.
Wall-E and EVE both smiled and nodded, elated at their daughter's enthusiasm. They'd celebrated Christmas on Earth a few times before, and it had always been just the two of them. But this year would be different. This year they would get to share the magic and joy of the holiday with WENDI, and they were determined to make this special for the little girl; they just weren't sure how to.
Wall-E's eyes trained on the little ice crystals gradually building on the plastiglass of the skylight. Even though he knew that frost building in his ancient joints would soon be unpleasantly restricting his movements, he was too delighted at today's plans to dwell on the issue. He would take WENDI out into the junkyard on a father-daughter outing so he could decide on what kind of present to get for his daughter, for while the place had shrunk considerably, the Buy n Large ruins still held some treasures.
EVE, meanwhile, was more concerned about presents than her husband. Today she was headed to the Axiom, where a Christmas marketplace had been set up to provide to the humans' shopping needs. The difference between these shops and the old automated ones while the ship was in orbit was that these were simply little stalls run by actual people. The probe was hoping that inspiration would strike her if she went browsing there; however, she was well aware that she would need something called "money" if she was to obtain anything. Oh, well; she was going window shopping anyway. She'd cross the money bridge when and if she ever got to it.
---
WENDI wasn't the only bot having her first Christmas this year. Inside the Axiom, CODI glared at the humans, wondering about their strangely festive and good-spirited behavior, but also hating it.
"I have been putting up with these blobs of flesh for centuries!" he muttered to himself. "What are these activities which they now engage in? 'Peace on Earth?' 'Goodwill toward men?' 'Merry Christmas?' Irrelevant! Purely irrelevant!"
But since he had nothing better to do than skulk about the Lido Deck, CODI wound up overhearing a lot about this "holiday." Apparently the humans were wasting their time buying and exchanging presents for one another. The huge security robot's mood only darkened as he observed the bright, cheerful smiles on their faces.
And then there was that tree! An enormous, fifty-foot-tall artificial evergreen tree that somehow infuriated CODI more than anything else. He had such an impulse to run up to that decoration-covered tree and shoot at it with his cannons. Blasted green thing.
---
It seemed that Wall-E had been right in his prediction that cold weather would do his mechanisms no favors. As he watched WENDI zipping around in the sky, the trash compactor attempted to pick some of the ice out of his joints and treads; however, his clunky fingers were clearly not designed for the task. He sighed and turned his attention back to the stacks of trash.
Something brightly colored caught his eye; he rolled over and wiped snow off of it to examine the item. A rectangular box, constructed of plastic made to resemble wood - and the paint wasn't faded at all. Curious, Wall-E lifted the lid, and a gentle tinkling melody met his hearing circuits. For some reason, the soft song made him instantly think of WENDI. And BAM! - just like that, Wall-E knew what he wanted to get his daughter for Christmas.
---
EVE, meanwhile, was not having as much luck as her husband. It seemed that everything in the Axiom was either rather cheap or unnecessary for robots, or both. And, of course, it all cost money.
She stopped at a jewelry booth, and there she spotted a necklace: an emerald in gold casing dangling from a thin-but-strong gold chain. The jewel was the same color as WENDI's eyes. She reached out and delicately fingered it, picturing it hanging around her daughter's neck...she sighed and let it fall. EVE knew very well she could not obtain that necklace. She didn't have money. There was no need for robots to have money. At least, there usually wasn't...
---
CODI snarled as he pushed past startled humans, GO-4 at his heels. "What is the relevance of that blasted tree?!" he snapped at no one in particular. For all day, he had been watching people remark on its beauty, its decorations, and how much it represented the "season."
GO-4 blipped in response, and his master growled and rolled on - then stopped up short.
CODI was in front of one of the shops, and sitting on a cardboard box was a most unusual item: a little glass ball, filled with water and mounted on a brass podium. Inside the ball was a tiny house, and a bunch of white dots had settled on its roof. With unusually provoked curiosity, he reached out his resistant, damaged combat arm and lifted the thing. There was a tiny crank on the bottom of the base, which he proceeded to wind. A music recording began to play, and CODI noticed that the little white dots were now swirling around, mimicking snowfall. He chuckled, and it was an actual laugh of amusement, not of cruelty as it usually was.
"Are you planning to purchase that piece of merchandise?"
Almost dropping the glass ball, CODI turned and found himself face-to-face with one of his several archenemies - Auto, the security guard of the Axiom museum.
"Of course not," snapped CODI, leering at the wheel. He set the glass ball back where it had come from with his bad arm. "Why on Earth would I be getting into the HUMAN act of giving and receiving?"
But when Auto had moved on and CODI caught himself staring at the ball again, he had to ask himself that same question: why?
---
Through all of this, WENDI, STANL-E, GAR-E, and yes, even Wall-E had been mesmerized. But at about this point was when the questions started.
"Did you get that necklace for WENDI, Aunt EVE?"
"Why Co-dee no like twee?"
"When are we gonna come in the story?"
EVE held up her hands. "Patience! The answers will come in time. Of course, if you don't let me finish my story - "
"Sorry, Aunt EVE! Please continue!"
"Yes, please!"
"Mow sto-wee!"
EVE smiled. "As I was saying...
"And CODI growled, with his combat fingers nervously drumming,
"'I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming!'"
---
Wall-E and EVE weren't the only bots looking for presents. STANL-E and GAR-E, who just happened to be Wall-E and EVE's nephews, were racing each other to get to the Axiom. Like EVE, they knew they needed some money if they wanted to buy anything there. Unlike EVE, they weren't particularly worried about it.
As they carried on in a boys-will-be-boys fashion, STANL-E suddenly gasped and pulled out. "Look at that!" he gasped. Laying on the ground, cushioned by the piling snow, was a hard, clear diamond.
"Where did this come from?" wondered GAR-E.
"I don't know," STANL-E said. "But look at it! It's perfect! If only we could make it into jewelry...it would make a great gift!"
"We probably can make it into jewelry!" declared GAR-E. "We could find some chains somewhere, then cut this with our lazers and make it into pendant-sized pieces!"
"Well, where are we supposed to get chains?"
"I'm not sure...but let's just take it, STANL-E, and see what happens..."
---
The sun began to sink low in the sky, dying the snow pink and orange. Wall-E's eyes caught the dying light, the glass reflecting the last rays.
"Wen-dee!" he called. It was getting late; they were supposed to be meeting EVE at the Axiom by now.
WENDI zipped clumsily down to her father, shaking off snow. "I here, Daddy!" she announced.
Wall-E nodded. He started for the Axiom, motioning for her to follow. The trash compactor was wondering whether or not to tell EVE that he'd found a perfect gift. On one hand, he was so excited that he could hardly contain himself; on the other, it would be nice if his wife was as surprised as his daughter at the music box.
They proceeded through the snow and into the human town, where children heaved snowballs at each other and adults decorated their homes with wreathes and strands of colored lights, similar to the ones hanging in Wall-E's truck year-round. Smoke drifted up from chimneys, revealing that cozy fires must have been burning within the houses. WENDI joined right in to the festivities, chucking snow at any kids who dared to take a swipe at her, and Wall-E found himself periodically having to call her back.
The Axiom Museum towered above all at the center of the human town, and people simply poured in and out of it like water from a leaking basin, especially now that shopping was going on inside. Even the ship had been decorated for Christmas, with enormous wreathes that were probably taller than some of the houses in the town.
Wall-E had found himself infected by the joyful, festive atmosphere. He was humming one of the holiday tunes he'd heard in the past month, and recalled that the lyrics said something about a one-horse open sleigh. The words always made him think of the miniature humans rocketing down snow-covered hills on sleds, though he wasn't quite sure what a horse was.
But a nasty surprise awaited him on the ship.
At first, all he saw was EVE - more specifically, her shining white back. "E-vah!" he whirred happily, beginning to roll over to her.
That was when he noticed that she was talking to someone - Auto. This wasn't a cause for alarm in itself - there was nothing unusual about the two having a friendly conversation - but EVE's eyes were worried, and Auto was speaking in a softer tone than normal, which meant that he was worried as well.
"...would advise you to increase your guard, Probe One," the wheel was saying.
EVE dipped her head in a nod. "Yes."
"Do not allow this to ruin your holiday, Probe One; this is my responsibility and I shall treat it as such. And I would assume it would be to your advantage to neglect mentioning this to the Load-Lifter and your daughter?"
"Yes."
Now Wall-E was intrigued. Neglect mentioning what? He rolled forward, WENDI a few feet behind and not at all affected - she had missed the entire conversation.
"...if you do not require anything, I must return to my directive," Auto was saying.
"No trouble, Auto," replied EVE, one of her carefully practiced sentences in English. She snapped him a slight salute, which he returned before gliding away.
"E-vah?" Wall-E questioned, and for the first time she turned to face him.
"Wall-E!" she exclaimed, forcing an eye-smile and giving him an all-too-tense spark kiss. Then she looked past him and opened her arms. WENDI leapt into them eagerly.
"E-vah...proh-blemmm?" Wall-E sounded out. It wasn't a do-you-have-one question; it was a what-is-it question. EVE's happy expression slipped a notch. "Just...CODI," she murmured quickly, then focused on WENDI once more.
Wall-E's brows lifted. No wonder even Auto had been worried; CODI was nothing but trouble. He wanted to know more. He wanted to know exactly how much danger they were in so he could do whatever he could to protect their Christmas.
But EVE didn't say anything more about it for the rest of the night.
---
STANL-E and GAR-E had no idea about the upcoming danger. In fact, they were much happier than their aunt and uncle. They, too, were on the Lido Deck, but among the stalls of the holiday shops. Just a few minutes earlier, something incredible had happened: the brothers had discovered a 100-dollar bill on the floor.
They had asked around, showing the money to several nearby humans, but none had lost it. At last, they'd made the decision to keep the cash.
We have more than enough to buy chains now," declared STANL-E. "I can give one to Aunt EVE, and you could give the other to WENDI, once we cut it in half - "
"When we cut it in half, you can have both of the necklaces we make," GAR-E interrupted. "After all, it was you who really found the diamond. Besides," he smirked, "with a hundred bucks, I can get something else."
"You're right!" exclaimed STANL-E. "We don't have to stop with Aunt EVE and WENDI - presents for everyone!"
---
One last thing happened on the Lido Deck that evening.
And that thing was that CODI gave a last malevolent look at the tree before going to shut up in the Repair Ward for the night - and suddenly, terrible realization dawned on him...
---
"What?!" STANL-E practically screamed. "What did he realize?!"
"It was going so well..." GAR-E groaned softly.
WENDI leaped into her mother's arms and snuggled into the probe's sleek chest. "Mow stow-ee, Mama!" she demanded.
EVE laughed and lovingly stroked the top of the little gold bot's head. Then she tried to sound scary as she said:
"Then he got an idea!
"An AWFUL idea!
"That CODI got a WONDERFUL, AWFUL idea!"
---
His plan was set.
Christmas Eve was but a few nights away, and on that night. He'd send GO-4 to the top of the tree through the pneumatic tubes.
The flabby, moronic humans wouldn't know what had hit them.
---
By the following morning, Wall-E had forgotten about the CODI sighting of the previous day. He awoke as usual and had to go out on the roof to charge - the hole-in the-roof-turned-skylight was covered in a thick blanket of snow.
There was plenty of snow on the ground, too, and light from the just-risen sun reflected off the white crystals. Wall-E flipped open his solar panels - or at least tried to. But they were frozen shut. The trash compactor groaned, struggling against the grogginess of low batteries, continually trying to unstick his panels.
It was EVE who came to his rescue. How she knew he was in trouble, he never figured out. Either way, she came to him like a guardian angel, and ran a slim white finger between the creases of his solar panels. The seal was broken, and Wall-E gratefully absorbed the much-needed sunlight. "E-vah," he murmured in thanks.
EVE simply bobbed her head, waiting patiently for him to charge up. Her fingers found his, and a spark passed between them.
The plan of action for the day was that Wall-E would go out to the junkyard and retrieve WENDI's present (which he'd decided to surprise EVE with as well) while EVE took their daughter to the Axiom to play with M-O. Wall-E wondered if EVE had found a good gift for WENDI yet, and was immediately sure she had. EVE always seemed to have something in mind.
---
WENDI happened to sleep unusually late that morning. Usually she was the first one up, dragging her parents and cousins from sleep mode. Today was just the opposite.
Wall-E and EVE both chuckled at the sight of their sweetly dozing daughter underneath her pink blanket. EVE reached out and gently shook the little girl awake. WENDI stirred, her head lifting and her eyes opening a fraction. She grumbled and pulled the blanket up over her head. "Nuh. I seepy."
EVE giggled, and Wall-E rolled up next to her. "Uh-up, Wen-dee," he chided.
"Ahkay. I up," WENDI decided, jumping up suddenly. "You up too, Stan-ee, Gah-ree!"
"Coming!" called her cousins in unison, and the truck was up and hopping with the entire robot family.
"I sees Mo-mo," was the next thing WENDI said.
"Yes, WENDI," replied EVE with an eye roll. Always thinking of her little playmate, it seemed. In a way, though, it was convenient. EVE herself needed to be on the Axiom as well. She only had a few more days to get her hands on that necklace for WENDI.
---
Auto met them at the door, and it was apparent who he was waiting for.
"I have had no trouble with the Interrogator since the last sighting," he quietly reported to EVE in Robospeak.
"Figured that," EVE whispered back. Then she straightened up and gestured to WENDI, who was flying in impatient loops above them. "Could you do me a favor, Auto? Take her to M-O. I'm not asking you to babysit them, but make sure they don't fall out any windows or something - especially with CODI close at hand."
"I shall," replied Auto in regular English. The wheel-turned-security-guard was, unfortunately, all too aware of the situations that WENDI and M-O's "play" often got them into.
EVE flew off towards the stalls, and Auto suddenly felt WENDI latch on to his spokes, drumming her fingers impatiently on his panels. "I sees Mo-mo, Ah-to!" she declared.
"Yes, the Microbe-Obliterator. Let us locate him," agreed Auto, leading her around the edge of the Lido Deck. He decided to try and attempt small talk, however bad he was at it; WENDI wouldn't care one way or another, as long as she had someone to chat with.
"What do you hope to receive this holiday?" the ex-autopilot asked.
WENDI shrugged. "I no know! I no know!" She paused, then asked, "Ah-to...preh-sent?"
For once, Auto was confused by her brief dialect. "Do you wish to know if I am planning to give one, the answer to which is certainly, or if I am hoping to receive one, the answer to which is uncertain. I do not desire any items in particular.
The little gold bot clapped her hands together, as she often did when she was excited. "I give Ah-to preh-sent!"
"My thanks, WENDI." Auto actually laughed lightly, a buzzing noise that he did not make often. Leave it to the daughter of Probe One and the Load-Lifter to pull one out of him.
They hadn't yet reached their destination when WENDI gasped - or rather, made a sound like a gasp, although she sucked in no air. At first Auto thought she had found M-O, but that wasn't right. If it had been M-O, she wouldn't have been clinging to him more tightly, hunkering down behind his optic in genuine fear. A part of him knew what had caused it, but he turned anyway.
Sure enough, CODI had just rolled into the Lido Deck.
---
WENDI shivered as she pressed closer to Auto, hiding herself as completely as possible. She had a fleeting image of CODI reaching out from behind her, grabbing her, the laser sights of his cannons aiming at her chest...she let out a stifled cry.
Auto contracted his panels protectively, his cycloptic orb tracking each of the Interrogator's tense, harsh movements. WENDI peeked out from behind him, part of her endless childlike curiosity driving her to find out what CODI was up to. So she was watching as he stopped up short, focusing on something. What was it? Something had definitely grabbed his interest.
WENDI zoomed in as far as she could. And there it was. CODI had reached out and taken a small snowglobe from one of the stalls - but he hadn't snatched it like he usually did. Instead, he handled the knickknack carefully, even gently. And his expression was almost an eye smile.
In that moment, she realized how much that random, obscure snowglobe had touched the Interrogator. And she got an idea.
Auto's plans, however, did not relate to her own. "Child, remain here. I will confront the Interroga -"
"NUH!" shrieked WENDI. She grabbed hold of Auto almost comically; the wheel could most definitely still leave if he wanted to. But he did not.
"Ah-to stay!" WENDI demanded. "No go Co-dee! Co-dee bad!"
"Child, I am more than qualified to take care of myself - "
"Co-dee bad!" insisted WENDI. Auto knew it would be pointless to argue with her, and he wouldn't use force with such a young girl. So he stayed with her. He thought she simply wanted someone to hang on to while her CODI-phobia worked its way through her system.
But he was wrong...
---
The booth at which the snowglobe was being sold happened to be run by Mary. She didn't noticed that CODI had arrived and picked up the snowglobe, but her son Jeremy did.
Jeremy made his way through stacked boxes and went to find his mother, who was taking inventory. "Mom," he said, "there's this huge security robot that was playing with one of our snowglobes."
"Give me a second, Jeremy," replied Mary, very slightly annoyed that her son had interrupted her - she had told him only to get her in case of an emergency.
However, when Mary reached the front of the booth, there was no "huge security robot." She sighed. "Was this some kind of practical joke, Jeremy?"
"No, Mom! He was just there!"
Suddenly, Mary became aware of someone else approaching the shop. She smiled when she saw who it was - WENDI. Behind her was Auto, though the wheel hung back several feet as his young companion approached.
"Hey, sweetie!" exclaimed Mary. "How are you?"
"I good," said WENDI almost absently. Her eyes were fixated on the counter.
"What are you looking at?"
WENDI pointed to the snowglobe. "Dat."
Mary gently hefted up the little glass ball and handed it to the girl. "You wanna see it? Go ahead!"
The little gold bot turned the item over in her hands, admiring the replicated snowfall, her green eyes training on individual white dots. She reached out to the base to turn the crank and start the tinkling melody - but the crank came off in her hand.
WENDI gasped. "I sow-wee! I sow-wee!" she cried, looking as if she was about to burst into tears.
"That's alright, sweetie," Mary assured her, reaching out and taking back the snowglobe. In a mere few seconds, she had managed to reattach the crank, and passed it back to WENDI. "See? Good as new!"
"Ahkay," said WENDI, cautiously giving it a twist, relaxing when it stayed attatched.
Mary knew full well that this was WENDI's first Christmas, and saw how very into the snowglobe the child-bot was. "You can keep that," she told the girl. "Consider it an early Christmas gift."
"Tank you!" chirped WENDI, springing into an eye smile. She cradled the snowglobe in her arms and raced over to Auto, latching onto his spoke with one hand. "We go now, Ah-to. I gets soe-gobe."
"Yes, child, I am aware of this fact," replied Auto. The big question was what she was planning to do with the same trinket that CODI had taken an interest in...
---
"Now, here is where it may get sketchy," warned EVE. "I'm going to have to skip ahead a little bit."
"How far ahead?" demanded GAR-E.
"What presents did we get for everyone?" STANL-E wanted to know.
"And speaking of presents, did you ever get that emerald necklace for WENDI?" GAR-E piped back up.
"Boys, please - " EVE tried to say, but her words were swallowed by the endless torrent of their questions. WENDI, however, spoke up in an unexpected way.
"Stan-ee, Gah-ree, shhhhh!" the little bot cried. "Mow stow-ee!"
"Thank you, WENDI," laughed EVE. "And now, for the final installment of 'The CODI Who Stole Christmas'...
"All the human town was dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
"All the humans were dreaming sweet dreams without care.
"Of CODI's next plot, they were all unaware..."
---
Things seemed to have been resolved by Christmas Eve...just in time to make way for the next disaster.
As far as presents were concerned, everything had been taken care of. Wall-E had retrieved WENDI's gift, as well as found a good gift for EVE. STANL-E had made both necklaces and given one to EVE, so it in turn could be given to WENDI. EVE was relieved - she wouldn't need that other necklace after all. The probe had also found the perfect present to give to Wall-E.
Meanwhile, WENDI had hid the snowglobe in an old canvas bag, and with the aid of some construction paper and a box of crayons, she'd set out working on gifts for the rest of her friends and family. But tonight was the night that she'd have to do her hardest delivery. It would be tough, and frightening. But she was determined to succeed.
That evening was uneventful. Wall-E and EVE had managed to set up a small Christmas tree inside the truck, and the robot family had stacked all of their presents underneath it. STANL-E appeared to be the most impatient, constantly repeating, "We can hardly stand the wait; please, Christmas, don't be late!"
But night fell, and EVE announced that it was time for bed. WENDI was the last to be put down, her mother pulling her blanket over her tiny gold body, whispering, "Good night, my dear."
When all was quiet, she snuck out. Her parents were asleep, as were her cousins. And it was time to put her plan into action. If all went well, she'd be there and back before they knew she was gone.
---
EVE was awakened by a bad case of déjà vu. Wall-E had rapped her chest, and when she'd stared blearily down at him, he'd uttered the words she'd hoped she'd never hear again:
"Wen-dee gone!"
And with CODI around once more, it took her about ten seconds to figure out where she might be. The Axiom.
She'd known it would be useless to try and get Wall-E to stay in the truck with the boys. She would just have to hope that this would be a quick trip. Run in, get WENDI, run out. Easier said than done.
Why did this have to happen on Christmas Eve?! After all the time they had spent trying to make it special for WENDI, she disappears! They had to bring her back, safe and in one piece. They just had to.
The Axiom Museum was closed, and had been for several hours. The darkness and silence were smothering; even the glittering lights on the huge artificial Christmas tree had been extinguished. EVE stayed beside Wall-E, lower than she otherwise would have liked to be. A part of her said that WENDI hadn't come here; the place was obviously empty.
Or so it seemed.
Without warning, she was aware of the muted grinding of gears beside her ear. EVE immediately gave Wall-E a rough shove to get him behind her, flipped out her cannon, and aimed it at whoever had approached her.
---
Auto had no idea why Probe One and the Load-Lifter had come to the Axiom at this ungodly hour, on the night the humans had continually referred to as "Christmas Eve." And now, it seemed, he would not have the opportunity to find out, because in an instant, Probe One's quasar ion cannon was shoved in his face.
The ex-autopilot couldn't fathom anything to say; fortunately, Probe One recognized him before she fired.
"Don't do that," she snapped as she resheathed her weapon.
"You are tense," Auto managed to say. "Why is this?"
"Why do you think?! It's Christmas Eve, CODI's loose, WENDI's missing, and I'm majorly flashing back!"
"The child has gone missing yet again?" asked Auto, genuinely surprised. "Why would she do this?"
"How should I know?! Say, you haven't seen her around, Auto - have you?"
"I have not." The wheel was growing uneasy over this whole state of affairs. Nothing like this should be happening on the Axiom while it was under his protection. "I will not allow such a calamity to occur twice. Let us locate her."
So the three proceeded around the edge of the Lido Deck, eyes (or, in Auto's case, eye) peeled for WENDI, CODI, or anything else that was out of place. And it wasn't long before they were led straight to the spot where two plans were about to crash together.
It was GO-4, bleeping softly as he zipped over the floor, that gave it away. As he passed them, Wall-E, EVE, and Auto slipped into their condensed forms, trying to make it seem like it was perfectly natural for a box, an egg, and a wheel to be skulking the Lido Deck at this time of night.
"GO-4. This is not a good sign," murmured Auto after the tiny security bot had passed.
EVE nodded, and Wall-E clasped his hands together, trying not to shake from fright. He only wanted to bring WENDI home so they could have their Christmas, without getting tangled up in another CODI mess. Once was too often for comfort; twice would simply be awful.
As inconspicuously as physically possible, the trio tailed GO-4, who approached a hulking humanoid bot with both eyes fixated venomously on the Christmas tree - CODI. They kept their distance, peering from behind a wall as the scene unfolded, but ready to react at the first sign of danger - or of WENDI.
---
It hadn't taken WENDI long to find CODI, and she hesitated before going up to him. Her little gold hands tightened on the snowglobe, and fear stirred inside her like the snowflakes in the snowglobe. Perhaps she should just forget about this and go home.
No. She was here. She might as well follow through.
So WENDI waited until GO-4 had snapped his master a salute before hovering timidly forward. Inch by inch she crept closer, into the lion's den, heading toward a cliff with every intention of jumping.
She forced herself to be steady as she tapped on CODI's leg with a stuttered cry of, "C-c-co-dee!", and tried not to allow the fear to show in her eyes as he glared at her with an expression that could have killed flowers. "You again, you worthless little headache," CODI growled. "Shouldn't you be all tucked up snug in your blasted home, waiting for that infernal 'Santa' human?"
WENDI cringed, but squinted up at the Interrogator, ready for action. "C-c-co-dee n-no be mean..." she stammered. "I g-give C-co-dee preh-sent!" And with that, she thrust her shaking hands out in front of her, revealing the snowglobe.
---
The little glass ball.
CODI's initial plan, of course, had been to destroy the tree. Surely the humans couldn't celebrate this blasted holiday without it, for that was all they seemed to care about. Before this child had approached him, he had sent GO-4 to the top of the tree through the pneumatic tubes, where CODI was intending to meet him so they could obliterate it together.
But now everything had changed.
He had been given the little glass ball. As a present. From WENDI, the tiny bot whom he'd abused both physically and verbally. And he now understood. Christmas wasn't about the tree. It wasn't about getting and giving. It wasn't even about the little glass ball. There was no name for its true meaning, but whatever it was, it had been revealed as he saw WENDI trying so hard to overcome her fear and do this for him.
Some of the tension seeped from CODI's shoulders. For the time being, all the malice had dissolved within him. He felt nothing but a sense of gratitude towards this meddling child. He turned to her still obviously frightened face with a softened expression.
"Thank you," he murmured.
WENDI stopped shaking, and her eyes were pushed up into slight crescents - an eye smile. Perhaps CODI wasn't so big and mean and scary after all. Maybe he wasn't so bad.
The moment was ruined when a hiss came from the top of the tree. Both CODI's and WENDI's heads snapped up, and saw a flashing red light up at the highest branches.
"GO-4!" exclaimed CODI, then turned to his younger companion. "GO-4 and I had planned to destroy the tree together. But now I have other ideas." He extended his resistant combat arm to her. "Want to help the Grinch save Christmas?"
WENDI giggled and clasped the hand in both of her own. "Ye-es! I help Ginch!"
---
Wall-E, EVE, and Auto had witnessed the entire scene. But they couldn't believe what they were seeing.
EVE was the first to get it. She heaved a sigh. She and Wall-E had been so focused on making WENDI's fist Christmas special, trying madly to find the perfect gift for their daughter. But, just as the humans always seemed to, they had lost track of the true meaning of Christmas. It had taken WENDI's pure innocence to find it again.
Auto was more confused than anything else. "A mere trinket has caused the Interrogator to reform?" he asked in softer tones than normal.
EVE shook her head. "Not the snowglobe," she whispered, slowly enunciating each word. "WENDI."
WENDI. It made sense. She had, after all, been one of the only people who could bring out the best in Auto. Now she had proven that she could do the same to CODI.
Wall-E pointed out at the hulking security robot and the little gold bot and quizzically tilted his goggles to the side. The message was clear: do we go out to them?
EVE shook her head. They had to remain hidden. They couldn't go out.
Yet.
---
"GO-4 is still following my orders," CODI told WENDI. "And those orders were to destroy the tree. Could you possibly distract him while I try to climb to the top, in range of his radio, so I can revise his orders?"
WENDI nodded and started to zip up to the top, but CODI stopped her before she got too far.
"Just be careful," the robotic cop said. "He also has orders to shock you or your mother on sight."
WENDI froze, her eyes widening in fear. But after a second, she dipped her head once more and continued her flight. She cautiously made her way around the top of the tree, and after a second, GO-4 was in her sights.
GO-4, meanwhile, hovered along one of the Christmas tree's upper branches. He charged up the mini tazers that CODI had equipped him with, and prepared to plunge them into the huge gold star that topped the tree - when he heard a childish yet mechanical voice shriek, "GO-FUH-ERRRRR! NYANYANYANYANYA!"
Sure enough, there was the little brat known as WENDI flitting around the top of the tree. GO-4 hissed.
As this was happening, CODI had been ascending the branches, grateful that the artificial evergreen was strong. Hand over probe he went, rollerball boots dangling, of no use, behind him.
At last, he reached a point where his radio would be able to connect with GO-4's. He already saw his assistant hiss at a mischievous-looking WENDI. Now he was directing his tazers at her...
CODI activated his radio. "Get off the tree, GO-4."
GO-4 backed up a few inches, blipping. He was confused. And he did not follow the command.
"That's an order, GO-4! Get off the tree!"
Now GO-4 had no idea what to do. He was feeling much the way that Auto had seven years ago - conflicting directives. Should he continue to carry out CODI's original order, or follow this strange new one?
After a few hesitant seconds, his mind was made up. He charged at WENDI, on a course for collision.
WENDI screamed and ducked out of the way just in time, but as GO-4 plummeted to the ground, her good-naturedness took over and she caught the tiny security bot in her arms.
But when CODI saw his assistant leap out at WENDI, he had gasped, and stupidly released his combat arm's grip on the tree. Now he fell rapidly to the floor, beyond help.
Or so he thought.
Because without warning, a sleek white arm grabbed hold of his wrist.
CODI gasped as he looked up at his savior. "Probe One?!"
---
"That's right, CODI," EVE smirked as she lowered him to the ground. An almost-genuine eye smile was plastered over her visor as she added, "Come on, CODI, it's Christmas. No one, not even you, deserves to die on Christmas."
CODI's rollerball boots made contact with the ground, and he straightened up. The Load-Lifter was there, with WENDI in his arms, and hanging back from the scene but ready to interfere at the first sign of danger was Auto. The huge security robot's shocked expression was replaced with a totally new look: an eye smile. But that dissolved when he heard GO-4 hiss and WENDI cry out. He turned, and his partner had the little robot girl caught in a tractor beam.
"Wen-dee!" cried Wall-E.
"WENDI!" echoed EVE.
"LEMME GO!" shrieked WENDI, desperately flailing her arms.
"Release her, GO-4," thundered CODI, charging up his cannons. "I shouldn't have to, but if necessary, I will reduce you to your former state: an obliterated mess on the pool deck."
GO-4 bipped angrily, still obviously defending his first set of orders. Then, seemingly for no reason, his siren-head cracked, and he toppled to the ground. WENDI dipped and fell into EVE's arms. A medium-sized rock thudded behind the fallen GO-4. Its throwers, STANL-E and GAR-E hurried out from the shadows.
"STANL-E," sighed EVE, putting her hand above her eyes.
"What? I wanted to save my cousin!" STANL-E protested.
"And I wanted to help my brother!" GAR-E added. Then he paused. "We don't have to do the same thing to CODI...do we?"
"CODI has taken to our side for a night," stated Auto, gliding forward. "He has not caused any difficulties. But, Interrogator, be aware that I am required to report this to the Captain."
CODI shrugged. His red gaze shifted from Auto, to GO-4's dented body, to the happy family scene playing out in front of him - Wall-E, EVE, WENDI, STANL-E, and GAR-E embracing. He couldn't help but feel like he was intruding, like he had no part here.
And so, silently, just as the hour changed to twelve and Christmas Day arrived, CODI rolled silently away.
---
"So, CODI had thought of something he hadn't before.
"'Maybe Christmas,' he'd thought, 'doesn't come from a store.
'"Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more...."
And so EVE's Christmas Eve story was finished. WENDI had fallen asleep on her white shoulder, bringing a smile to the probe's eyes. GAR-E looked like he could barely keep his eyes open. Only STANL-E had enough energy left in him to ask a question as EVE put all three children to bed.
"Aunt EVE?"
"Yes, STANL-E?"
"If CODI's heart grew three sizes, why is he still mean today?"
"Because, STANL-E," explained EVE, "CODI only changed for Christmas. In real life, it takes more than one night to be completely reformed." She smiled. "Besides, I never said his heart grew three sizes."
And that was the last thing STANL-E heard before going to sleep, knowing that when he woke up, it would be Christmas Day.
The End
Merry Christmas to Wall-E Fanbase! WENDI 3's You Guys!
(And Happy Chanukah to BR-E!)