It's almost been a week since Cole, Hope and I arrived in L.A. I sit up in my… our bed. Cole is still asleep next to me. I quietly get up from the bed and almost walk into Hope's bed. She is also still asleep. It's so cramped inside this room with Hope's bed, our bed, and all of our belongings. I am planning on telling Cole that we should move out of Langston and Markko's apartment soon and get our own place.
I walk into the kitchen to make breakfast. I notice that Langston and Markko must be out, because their room is empty and I don't see them anywhere. I make breakfast for all three of us because I assume that Cole and Hope will wake up soon. I sit at the table and start eating. A few minutes later, Cole walks in holding Hope in his arms. She's been so attached to him since he came back. "Good morning." I say and smile at them. Cole smiles back and mutters, "Morning." He puts Hope in her chair and sits in the chair across from mine.
"Hope, tell Mommy what you want to do today." Cole says. I raise my eyebrows at him then look at Hope. "Go to the beach!" Hope squeals. I smile at her. We've been meaning to take her there for a few days now. "It's a great day to go to the beach." I tell her. "Yay!" Hope replies. We eat in silence. After we finish, I get up and take our dishes to the sink. Hope walks over to where Cole is sitting, grabs his hand and says; "Daddy, come to the beach!" Cole grins at her and says, "Of course I'll come." Hope smiles widely at him then runs over to me. "Mommy, come on let's go!" She yells. "Wait, Peanut let's get dressed first." I tell her. She nods. I take her hand and lead her to the bedroom. We both dress and I pack a bag for the beach.
On the way to the beach, Hope is walking with me holding my hand and she walks to Cole and reaches for his hand. He takes her hand. I look over at him and smile. He smiles back. We swing Hope off the ground and she giggles. When we arrive at the beach, I take Hope to the washroom and change her into her swimsuit. I also put my bikini on. I realize that Cole doesn't have any swim trunks. When we get out, we find Cole lying on the sand. "Cole, you don't have any trunks, I forgot." I tell him. "Oh, it's alright. I'll just go in the water in my shorts." He says. He takes off his shirt and I can't help but stare at his chest. He picks up Hope and says, "Let's go have fun, Hope!" He runs toward the water holding her. I set my towel down on the sand and watch them play for a little while.
Cole comes back holding Hope's hand. He gets to me and Hope lets go of his hand and sits in the sand. He sits down next to me then leans in and kisses me quickly. I smile and think back to when we were on the beach three years ago when I was pregnant. I get out a pale and shovel for Hope. She knows what to do right away and starts building a sand castle. I lie down on the towel and relax. Cole gets out his towel and lies beside me. I take his hand and just hold it.
A few minutes later, Hope gets up, jumps on Cole and yells "Daddy!" Cole laughs and says "Hope!" He picks her up, puts her down and then gets up. "I'm going to take Hope back out in the water, want to come?" He asks. "Sure." I say. He grabs my hand and we walk out to the water. We swim and play in the water for about half an hour. Then I lie down for a bit while Cole and Hope play some more.
I must have fallen asleep, because Cole is shaking me. I rise up. "Oh, I guess I'm more exhausted than I thought." I say. We decide to leave. "Well… I think Mommy deserves a break. What do you think, Hope?" Cole says. Hope nods. Cole helps me stand and then turns around, holds his arms back and says: "Hop on." I realize that he wants to give me a piggyback. "No, Cole. It's okay I can walk." I say. But Cole reaches out, picks me up and puts me on his back anyway. Hope giggles at this. "Cole, you don't need to do this." I tell him. "Maybe I want to." He replies. I decide not to argue with him. He takes Hope's hand and holds me up with his other arm. We go home.
When we're almost there, Cole gently puts me down. "Hope, it's your turn." He says and then picks up Hope and puts her on his shoulders. She giggles and says: "Daddy, I missed you." I gasp, but Cole just says: "I missed you… and Mommy too." I smile. When we get inside the apartment, Langston and Markkp are watching the TV. "Hey guys." Cole says and he sets Hope down. "Hey." Langston and Markko say. I pick up Hope and bring her into her bedroom for her nap. When I get back out into the living room, Cole and Markko aren't there. "Cole's in the shower and Markko went grocery shopping." Langston tells me. I sit down next to her. "So, Langston I was just thinking about how Cole and I haven't really had any alone time since we got back together." I say, hoping she'll help me. "Oh, and let me guess, you want me to help you with that." Langston replies. "Yes. Uh actually I was wondering… if you and Markko wouldn't mind… could you look after Hope for an hour or two later?" I ask her. "Yeah, you and Cole deserve to be alone every once and a while." She smiles. "I'm sure Markko wouldn't mind if we took Hope out and gave you two the apartment for a while." "Thank you so much, Langston!" I say. "No problem." Langston replies.
Later, Markko and Langston take Hope out for dinner while Cole is in the bedroom. I want to surprise him. After I say goodbye to Hope, I go into the bedroom. Cole is sitting on the bed, reading a poetry book. "Hey… uh… we're alone." I say, nervously. Cole puts the book aside. "What? Where are Hope and Markko and Langston?" He asks. I tell him where they went. I go on the bed and say, "I was hoping that we could finally have some alone time." I touch his leg gently. "Oh…" Cole says and he raises his eyebrows at me. His lips come crashing down on mine. We kiss passionately for a few minutes. I break apart from him. "Cole, make love to me." I say. We haven't been too intiminate since we go back together. "Wow, I still remember when you said that to me the first time." Cole replies. "Do you want to? I mean I know we haven't done it since we got back together but…" Cole interrupts me with a kiss. We start removing each other's clothes. Then I lie down on the bed and he gently falls on top of me. We make love.
Afterward, I am lying with my head on Cole's chest and he has his arm around me. I know that I need to tell him something that he might take the wrong way. "Cole, I have to tell you something." I say. "What is it?" He asks. I lift my head up and look into his eyes. "I… when I was with James we… uh we slept together." I say. He stares at me. "I know way back when we first made love, I said I wanted you to be my only one and I want to apologize to you. But, when I did it with James, I didn't feel the same connection with him that I do with you." I finish. "Starr, I'm not mad at you." Cole says. I look at him, feeling relieved. He continues, "Starr, I didn't expect you to not be with James in that way. I mean I knew you would probably be with him eventually while I was in prison. It's alright Starr; you have nothing to be sorry for. I smile at him.
We lie in bed for a while longer. "Starr, even though I knew you were with James, I still thought about you and Hope every single day I was in Statesville." Cole says. I look into his eyes and say, "Cole, I never stopped loving you, really. Even when I was with James, but I knew it would be hard to wait for you. That's why I moved on." Cole looks into my eyes. "We're together now and that's all that matters." Cole says and he grins at me. I grin back at him and then kiss him.
Later, Cole and Hope are in our bed together when I walk into the room. Cole is reading a story to Hope. I smile at him. Cole finishes reading and says, "Time for bed, Hope." Hope gets up and walks over to her bed and hops into it. "Wow, she almost never goes straight to bed when I tell her to." I say. Cole just shrugs his shoulders. He walks over to Hope's bed and tucks her in. He gives her her stuffed Giraffe, Raffie. "Good night, Hope. I love you." He says. "I love you Daddy." Hope says. I look at Cole and grin. He smiles back. We get into bed. "I love you." I tell him, feeling I need to say it. "I love you." Cole says back. We kiss quickly, and then he turns off the light.