Disclaimer: disclaimed.
It's not often that I find myself at a loss for words, but lately it seems to be a usual occurrence. It took me some time to realize the source of my problem, but I was furious beyond belief when I did. The fault lies with that devil incarnate, Minerva McGonagall.
I'm sure anyone who knows Min would vouch that she is not, indeed, the devil incarnate, nor any kind of devil for that matter. She's straight laced, thin lipped, tight bunned Minerva. However, seeing as I often find myself the object of her thin lipped, disapproving glares, and subsequently am left at a loss for words, I'm inclined to believe differently.
After all, it's not like I'm doing anything wrong. It's not like it's a crime for me to casually lean against the wall outside the library, shirt unbuttoned because it's damn hot and not because it gives a fantastic view of my chest, talking to my favorite student. So what if that student happens Ravenclaw's seventh year chaser, Amy McLaughlin? So what if she's incredibly gorgeous and happens to be an open lesbian? It's not like I'm encouraging her fuck me vibes…much.
My speechlessness is often embarrassing, leaving me quite flustered, I can assure you. And all because busybody Minerva doesn't like me talking to students! It's none of her business who I talk to, nor what we talk about. It's also none of her business who I happen to snog, shag, or cuddle with.
Not that I cuddle. I, Rolanda Hooch, am too much of a "player" to cuddle.
Unless I'm drunk.
Or even the slightest bit tipsy will do it sometimes.
But I digress.
Minerva McGonagall has it coming to her, and I plan on dishing it out mercilessly to that nosy, holier-than-thou twat.
It's always a joy to spend time with Amy McLaughlin. It's even more of a joy when my tongue is in her mouth and I have the perfect opportunity to do naughty things to her. The usually talkative girl can only manage to groan quietly…or at least, quietly until my hands accidentally find their way down her pants.
My, she has wonderful lungs.
They even let out a perfect scream when the door bangs open so hard it rebounds off the wall and would have closed again had it not been for a bloody livid Minerva standing in the doorway.
"Oh, hello Min," I say with a grin. "Care to watch?"
She looks positively ready to kill me. It takes every ounce of self control I have not to laugh out loud.
"McLaughlin. Fix your clothing and get the hell out!" Minerva finishes the sentence in a hiss. I am strongly reminded of her Animagus form.
Amy doesn't even bother with the clothes, merely leaves before she gets caught in the crosshairs. The only regret I feel is that she didn't at least get an orgasm out of the experience.
After all, I'm not her professor. She can't get in trouble for snogging the ref, though the ref can certainly get an earful.
And that's just what I receive.
"I cannot believe your audacity!" Minerva starts, still hissing. "Taking advantage of a student in a bathroom!"
I lean against the sink, crossing my arms. My shirt is still hanging open from when Amy happily ripped it open mere minutes before. I almost smirk when Minerva glances down, but know I've already barreled into my limits.
"She doesn't happen to be a student of mine, Minerva," I reply tersely. "And for your information, she is of age and was certainly not being taken advantage of. She was panting for it."
I knew immediately that I had pushed too far, for Minerva spun on her heel and stalked out of the bathroom, the door slamming behind her. I swear enough to make my mother blush, bless her, and quickly follow my colleague, wishing Amy had left at least some buttons on my shirt.
"Min, wait!" I call after her, jogging to catch up. I wanted to make her angry, but not to the point where she could no longer look at me.
"You are positively despicable," she spits, not slowing down or even glancing at me.
"I know I'm awful, but please calm down and just talk to me!"
"You're lucky I haven't turned you into a flobberworm already! I have no desire to speak with you and test my self control further."
I stop where I am and glare at her back.
"And just why is it that you're so bloody pissed?" I demand. "I know it's not merely because of McLaughlin! You let that sort of thing slide before without batting an eye."
She stops, turns, and walks back to me. And then she shocks the hell out of me.
The slap she delivers to my face rings through the hallway. I am frozen, surprised beyond movement or thought.
"I don't know why I ever liked you, Rolanda Hooch. You're disgusting," Minerva says, voice wavering.
"Oh please, you sound like a bloody third year. How young are you now?" I find my words and wish they could express the full extent of my fury.
"Apparently not young enough!" she shouts, turning away from me again.
And then it hits me.
Much like her slap, actually.
Minerva is so angry because she's jealous.
"Min, I'm so sorry. I didn't know," I say quietly, all anger gone at once. "If I did-"
"What?" she snaps, clearly agitated. "If you did, you would have tried to make sure I didn't find out about your little tryst? Or would you have done it on my very couch, just to be cruel?"
"No," I tell her. "No, neither of those. I wouldn't have had a tryst at all."
"Yes, well. Too late now."
"Does it have to be?"
She blinks, unsure. I step closer to her, taking one of her hands in my own, the other reaching up to brush across her cheek. She looks almost ready to break.
"I'm sorry, Min, that I'm so thoughtless sometimes. I realized that some of the girls would get hurt because they fancy themselves in love, but I know that they always move on when they realize they never really knew me. But you…you know me almost as well as I do. And if you still feel that way, with all my flaws…" I trail off.
She smiles a little. "Of which there are many."
I roll my eyes. "Min, be serious. This is my serious face and you won't see it for long."
"Really? What face will I be seeing then?"
"My 'I'm kissing you' face."
Before she can reply, I lean in and press my lips softly against hers.
You are mine, Minerva McGonagall.