PROLOGUE: The Wedding

'I'm marrying the wrong person, I'm marrying the wrong person, I'm marrying the wrong person.' It was the only thought that went through her mind. Instead of thoughts of a happy future, starting a family, and being in love, dread was the only thing that her mind was capable of recognizing. She tried to smile for the cameras, for her family, for his family... And then she saw him. Her fake smile eased into a sad, sorrowful smile. But just for a fleeting moment. Nobody could know. He'd know, though. He always knew. 'And,' she thought to herself, 'he will always know.' The flashes of the cameras were blinding, the musicians effortlessly performing Trumpet Voluntary were deafening, and her mouth was dry. Her hands were shaking. This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. Not but twelve hours ago she was in the biggest fight of her life; it was not with her husband to be.

It was with him. She felt his eyes staring at her. Quickly, she glanced over to him as she was parallel to the row he sat in. His wife's hand was locked in his and tears were in her eyes. She was clueless. She had been for the past three years. His stare was cold, uncaring and unforgiving. He didn't want her to marry him.

What was she to do? Spend the rest of her life single, answering to his every beck and call? Have a lover only during the summer months? She thought this was the right thing to do. Marrying a man in this line of work would serve multiple purposes: It would ensure her a comfortable lifestyle, she could live in Washington -- no more summer visits!, and she could see him whenever she pleased. It was an easy way out. True, she'd be living in a lie for the rest of her life, but what other choice did she have? She knew her future husband would make a fine mate. He was caring, sweet, gentle. The opposite of... Everything she was used to. Everything she wanted.

Her march to the altar was over. She looked at her future husband. Jake Anderson took a deep breath out as he reached for Ava's hand. He pulled her closer for a bit. That simple act put yet another rock between Ava and him - she could still feel him staring. Jake was the perfect way to ensure her affair with one of his best friends and mentors could continue. She didn't want to hurt him - he was the very definition of a gentleman. But, if his wife hadn't found out in three years, then neither would Jake.

"Who gives this woman?" the priest's voice shook Ava from her deep reverie.

She heard a single clearing of a throat. And a slight cough.

"I do," her father stated. She was then whisked up two small steps to the top of the altar.

The ceremony was like a dream. They each recited their vows - traditional, of course. She wasn't about to write lies. Better to repeat the safest words in order to be sure to go through with the wedding.

How could Jake not know? How could he not see the fear and sadness in her eyes? Feel her hands shaking? He must have thought it was from the mere thought of actually getting married. They'd been officially "dating" for a little over a year.

And their dating was all HIS fault! He insisted that she and Jake spend time together. He thought it would be good for all three of them. Too bad it backfired in his and Ava's face. Jake fell head over heals in love with Ava. He knew it right away -- the puppy dog eyes when she was around, constantly calling her and checking his phone. She was distant at first, but grew to care about him. Perhaps even deep down inside she loved him.

But she didn't love him like she loved him. Not even close.

"Do you, Ava O'Hara take Jake Anderson to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

She cleared her throat. When she spoke, the first syllable was a bit choked back. "I, I do." She smiled at him and then scanned her eyes towards the crowd. She swept over the entire congregation before the fell on him. His lips were tight. His eyes, angrier. If she'd go to bed with him tonight, he'd be extra controlling. Angry. Take it out on her body and give her exactly what she wanted.

"Do you, Jake Anderson take Ava O'Hara to be our lawfully wedded wife?"

Jake smiled at her. The smile that melted thousands of hearts across America. "I do."

The rest of the words were a blur. She saw Jake lean in to kiss her. Seal their marriage. Barely, she kissed him back and smiled weakly at him.

They turned to the crowd as the priest introduced them for the first time as a married couple. She looked at him again. Mixed with the anger for the briefest of moments was... Sadness? Impossible. But... The way the slate blue softened had to be something more than anger.

The quartet started up again as Jake and Ava Anderson strode down the aisle. This time, she didn't look at him. Not while his wife was kissing him.

Jake and Ava were now saying their thank-yous for coming, support, love, and everything else under the sun. Ava was holding her breath each time, not daring to see when he'd be there. She didn't know what he'd say, what she'd say, what Jake would say to his mentor.

All the while, she couldn't help but thinking that this was supposed to be the happiest day of her life. It was anything but. She couldn't think of anything but him. He consumed her life from day one. Now, she'd have to valiantly try to rescue herself in order to live happily ever after. Somewhat.

Deep down inside, she knew it was going to be impossible.

"Sig!" Jake shouted. He let go of Ava's hand and gripped the captain in a tight hug. "Thank you so much for coming. This means the world to me and Ava. You've been like a father to me, Sig. Without you, we never would have met."

"I am so happy for you," Sig said with that big, almost yelling voice. He hugged Jake back, patting his back a few times before moving on to Ava.

Her heart felt as if it was going to fly out of her chest, land on the floor, and beg for Sig to step on it -- to put her out of her misery.

"Well, you're married. How does it feel?" he asked.

Ava wanted to throw herself at him. She wanted to grab the lapels of his black suit and run her hands through his hair. She knew what he'd taste like - cigarettes, the ocean and somewhere the slightest hint of chocolate. It was a mixture that made her drunk just by the thought.

"I've never been happier," Ava said flatly. Jake looked at her, confused. She'd faltered.

"You know... I'm sure Jake would have loved to been married on the Northwestern. As a captain, you could have performed that ceremony, right?"

Jake and Sig's wife burst out laughing. Ava and Sig had a way of joking and pushing each other's buttons in public. In public, they were each other's opposites: He, a serious, demanding man; she, a light-hearted carefree woman that never understood Sig's need for perfection. In private, they had an even better way of giving each other exactly what the other needed - physically, mentally and sometimes even emotionally.

Instead of a sly comeback, Sig enveloped her in a big hug. He put his lips to her ear. They brushed over the sensitive skin with ever syllable. "I could have performed much more on my ship for you... And you know exactly what I mean, Ava. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're imagining all the times I've had you in my wheelhouse right now. Have a happy honeymoon. Call me when you get back."

She blushed furiously. Another falter.

"Are you okay, Ava?" Jake asked.

Ava let out a laugh and rolled her eyes. "Sig just gave me a true sailor's vocabulary lesson on what's supposed to happen tonight."

"Sig!" his wife, Tara, shouted. Jake, on the other hand, blushed furiously.

Before they left, Ava cleared her throat. And coughed slightly. Sig spun around.

"Hey, Sig," she said softly, "Come here. I never thanked you properly. Without you, I wouldn't be married right now." She leaned in to hug him and now put her mouth to his ear. "I'll be thinking about you the entire time I'm away. I'm sure you'll be thinking of me, too."

"You got it!" he said with his wide smile.

"You coming, Sig?" Tara shouted from a few yards away.

"Will you be at the reception?" Ava asked quickly.

"For a while. Hey, Jake! Save me a dance with your old lady here and I'll let you have a dance with mine!" Sig joked.

Jake rolled his eyes now. "You got it, boss."

And just like he came into her life, he was gone. Ava was still staring at him as he retreated, his wife's hand resting on his back.

Jake pulled Ava close to him. "You know, Ava, without Sig we never would have met. I owe all of my happiness to him. You're everything to me. I love you so much."

The words tore her apart. Tears sprung to her eyes and several escaped. They weren't tears of happiness like Jake so innocently thought as he hugged her tighter. His words made her realize yet again what she had done. And what she would have to live with.

And Sig Hansen. Who she would continue to have to live without.