Disclaimer-- We don't own Naruto, or anyone from the anime... So Don't sue... We do, however, own Katie and Brooke (considering that they are us)
A warm, soft breeze blew across the open ocean on the Florida Keys. The bright sun shone down and reflected off of the crystal clear blue waters and the shiny scales of the fish that swam amongst the coral reef that lay not far off shore. A group of ten college students stood on the docks as they waited for the fairy that would carry them out into the ocean and back to the mainland. As they waited the young adults talked and reminisced of their three week long spring vacation to the private island in the middle of the Gulf. Memories of hot springs, pool side lounging, volley ball games, drunken nights, who got the shit kicked out of them, and of course who had hooked up with who was passed among the close friends.
Among them were Katie and Brooke. The two girls were closer than sisters and were practically inseparable. Both of them had perverted personalities that would rival any male comedian on the face of the planet, and had both been some of the first to make quick friends with the other island inhabitants, who had then proceeded to show them the best way to party during their stay. To say the least, the girls were the center of attention almost every night, and probably the most sought after people there too. Though all the men had tried to get with one or the other of the two women, both girls had preferred to just flirt with the guys all night before returning to the room they shared alone.
Because of this, and their habit of joking around and grabbing at each other, a rumor had started among the islanders that they were possibly lesbians. But, that rumor had been quickly put to rest when the two girls had been confronted about it by one of the guys that they had both rejected. He had been one of the native islanders and had been drinking heavily before he found his way to the two girls, who were on the pool table dancing together for a group of guys in nothing but their shorts and bikini tops.
The man had drunkenly asked them if they were fucking each other since they didn't seem to know a real man when they saw one. At first, the girls had simply ignored him, hoping that he would leave eventually to find another drink somewhere, fall on his face, coke on his own vomit, and die, but the man had persistently followed them the whole night. When the man had finally had enough of being ignored, he grabbed a hold of Katie's wrist and yanked her back to him, demanding that she answer.
Now, Katie was the calmest and most level headed of the two girls, but one of the quickest ways, if not the quickest way of all, to piss her off was to grab her. She didn't mind if it was Brooke when they were joking around, since she usually played along and had a couple laughs in the process, but when random guys grabbed at her, especially drunk ones, her blood started to boil and her bitchier side came out to play.
The second quickest way to bring about ones own demise was to demand things of her, and even Brooke knew not to push that one too far.
This drunken thunder cunt had just done both.
Seeing the murderous gleam in Katie's eye, and the ass-whooping that was about to ensue, Brooke shook her head in pity as she retreated to a safer distance outside of the bar to wait.
Katie walked out minutes later cracking her knuckles with a smirk. Brooke, who had been watching through one of the windows laughed.
"Feel better now?"
A pleasant smile spread across Katie's face. "You have no idea," She said. "Serves him right though. For thinking he could touch a lady like that."
Brooke gave Katie a dead panned look. "You're a Lady?" she asked seriously. "I could have sworn you had a penis the other night."
Katie punched her friend in the arm as they walked back to their room laughing.
That night had put an end to any lesbian rumors that had been floating around, and had also made some of the guys weary of approaching them for awhile. But that had soon come to pass as the girls continued to flirt and party and Brooke walked around drunkenly and naked, losing her clothes to a game of bingo.
Don't ask how it happened.
After the fairy had finally pulled up and docked, the ten college students boarded the small vessel with the entirety of thier luggage in tow and had taken their seats to continue talking as they waited for the two hour, sober boat ride to end that would bring them back to Miami before they all headed home.
They could all imagine the agony they were all about to endure.
Brooke and Katie watched from the railing as they were carried further and further away from their island paradise by the waves, and were washed closer to the shore that held nothing but text books and ramen meals for them for the next few months.
"So, are you ready to return to our wondrous world of crappy classes, unintelligent professors, and fast food meals?" Katie asked.
Brooke rolled her eyes at her best friend, "Oh yeah… Let me tell you. I just can't wait to get back to Professor Royce so he can tell me that there are more entertaining things to do with my life than become a vet."
Katie laughed. "You mean, like become a hooker? I'm sure Royce would just LOVE that."
"I'm sure he would too… the perverted, ugly, blood belching vagina that he is."
Katie laughed again at her friend as they talked for the rest of their journey home.
When the fairy had finally docked again in the Marina, Brooke and Katie were among the first off the boat. They made their way to the garage that they had parked the yellow Ford Jeep Wrangler in that they had borrowed from Brooke's brother in law's father, Steve, who was a scary looking guy with one eye and a prosthetic leg that everyone called Francis.
Don't ask why.
Loading their luggage into the back, they pulled out onto the freeway and started the five hour drive that would bring them back to Leesburg and their families for a few days before they had to return to school.
Since Brooke was driving, Katie had control of the stereo. It was one of the many driving conditions they had agreed upon many years ago when they had both finally managed to pass their driving tests. Seeing as how they both listened to the same music, it was never a big deal between the two of them, but when Katie came across a station playing songs from when they were younger, Brooke cursed ever making the deal, but had to laugh as both of them sang along in annoying high pitched voices to Brittney Spear's "Hit Me Baby One More Time."
"Hey Kat, I'm going to pull off at the next exit and hit up Wally-World. I have to grab some tampons." She said.
"Sure thing," Katie agreed, "I've got to grab some too. I should probably grab some Midol too, lest someone loose an eyeball."
"I don't think any amount of Midol is going to save anyone from your wrath. You're worse than my sister when you're on your period. I'm surprised you don't shoot laser beams out of your eyes and breathe fire like Godzilla."
"Nah, I don't want your mom suing me for Identity Theft."
Brooke laughed and nodded in agreement as they pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot.
Entering the store that was commonly referred to as Hell on Earth, the girls snagged a cart and headed straight for the aisle they needed, Katie sitting in the cart teasing Brooke about the old man at the cart wrack that had been checking her out, and Brooke swerving dangerously close to walls and shelves when Katie wouldn't shut up.
Thirty minutes and numerous escapes from Wal-Mart helpers and greeters later, the girls had failed to find what they were looking for. They began running up and down the aisles singing the Pac-man theme song while pretending to dodge ghosts that shot from the walls until finally finding the womanly section.
"TALLY HO CAPTAIN!! COTTONY SALVATION AHEAD!!" Brooke bellowed, punching the air with her fist.
Katie jumped from the cart and stole it from Brooke and ran head long for the tampons, barely managing to avoid knocking down everything in the aisle as she went.
Brooke walked slowly behind, avoiding the wreckage Katie had left in her wake, and made her way over to grab a box of the Playtex Pearl. Katie on the other hand had grabbed a box of the generic cardboard ones before making her way back to Brooke.
Meeting back up, the two girls stared at the boxes the other had grabbed.
"Why in the hell did you grab those?" Katie asked.
Brooke looked at her Playtex Pearl tampons and back at the Cardboard ones Katie had grabbed. "Possibly because these ones don't feel like you're shoving a hunk of wood up your vagina hole."
"Yeah, but they don't work as well as the generic ones," She countered, " You see, I have this problem where my vagina bleeds for five days straight without killing me with blood loss, and these tend to soak up the goop better that tends to run down my leg and ruin my clothes otherwise."
"No they don't"
"Yes they do."
"Do not"
"Do too"
"Not"
"To"
"Not"
"TO!"
"NOT!"
Twenty minutes later, the linoleum floor of the store had become a mine felid of Playtex and generic tampons, and pieces of broken mops that had been substituted for light sabers in a reenactment of a Jedi battle.
The two heavily breathing women stood on opposite ends of the aisle glaring daggers at each other.
"Damn you and the force Yoda!" Katie said in her best Darth Vader impersonation.
"Strong within you the force is, Darth Vader, but strong enough it is not." Brooke replied back.
A deep cough sounded at the end of the aisle behind the girls. Katie and Brooke looked back at the two harry overweight security guards that were making their way towards them.
"God Damn it Brooke! See what you've gone and done now? "Katie said, gesturing towards the two men.
"Me? What the hell are you talking about?" Brooke snapped back.
"Yes you. You're the one that grabbed the mops! If it wasn't for that, we probably could have snuck out of here without anyone noticing."
"Ok, so maybe it is slightly my fault, but still! I didn't hear you saying no, either!"
Katie gave Brooke a suggestive smile and laughed. "Brooke, when have I EVER said no? To anything?"
"Well… That's why you're a whore and I'm…."
"Still a Virgin?" Katie suggested.
"Ladies…"
The two security guards had finally reached them and were staring down at them, their arms crossed over their man tits.
Brooke and Katie sweat dropped.
"Uh… hello there, officers. What seems to be the problem?" Katie asked
The bigger of the two men, who Brooke had officially nicknamed "Mr. Mongo Man Boob", scanned the aisle before returning his glare to the girls. "I don't know… You tell me."
Katie looked around nervously, trying to come up with an explanation. "Um... Well, you see, what had happened was… There were these vicious looking sea cucumbers that started growing from the cracks in the floor and--"
One of the guards started tapping his foot.
"You're not buying this are you?" she asked.
He shook his head.
"Right… um, shit… RUN!!" Katie yelled.
Grabbing Brooke by the wrist, Katie took off in the opposite direction of the two men.
Dodging through aisles and avoiding the same Wal-Mart greeters that had stalked them down before, the two girls had managed to make it to the toy department before they were cornered by their two dispatchers. They were pretty fast for fat guys.
"Alright now girls, no more playing games. Its time to go." The bigger one said.
"Games?" Brooke questioned, "Who's playing games? Were you playing games Katie?"
"Not I said the Fly. How about you?"
"I didn't see any monopoly game around here."
"Brooke, you haven't played monopoly since you were eight."
"That's 'cause Grandma was a cheating whore who ended up with all of the pink fifties while I got shit."
"No Brooke, you just suck, that's all there is to it."
"No I don't."
"Do Too"
"Do not"
"Too"
"Not"
"Too"
"NOT"
"TOO"
"ENOUGH!!"
The two girls looked to the officer that had screamed. It was Mr. Mongo Man Boob again.
"What the hell is wrong with you two?!"
Matching grins spread across Katie's and Brooke's faces.
"A Lot." They both answered simultaneously.
"Aright, enough is enough. You two are going to leave here, NOW! And you are never to come back, EVER! Do you understand?!" He all but screamed at them.
"Do I hear a please?" Brooke asked.
Both security officers gave them death glares.
"Guess not." Brooke whispered to Katie.
"Alright, Alright… Whatever you say, Slim. We're as good as gone. "
Katie took hold of Brookes arm and started pulling her towards the front of the store.
"But Kat, what about my tampons?" Brooke whined.
"Forget it. We'll get them somewhere else."
Brooke pouted and followed Katie out of the store. Both girls waited until they had reached the safety of their car before busting out laughing.
"Oh my god, that was fucking great!" cried Brooke.
Katie whipped a tear from her eye. "That was hilarious… I don't think I've had that much fun in Wal-Mart since me and Trent got kicked out for hiding in the plant department and reciting Little Shop of Horror lines as people walked by."
The two got in the jeep, still snickering about their little adventure.
Pulling back onto the freeway, Brooke's lead foot slammed on the gas pedal once again. Swerving through traffic at nearly 90 miles an hour, Katie sat in the passenger seat, clutching onto anything that she hoped would keep her safe if Brooke crashed, which at this rate was probably likely. Finally pulling off on their exit, Brooke slowed down to about 85 as they drove, passing a residential area and going through the McDonalds drive through to grab some lunch before getting back onto the road. As they continued they drove into a heavily wooded and swampy area, every now and then passing by the typical Florida golf course.
"Jeez, you think there are enough golf courses in Florida?" Brooke asked.
Katie was flipping through the radio stations again, looking for something decent, and commented offhandedly. "You know these old people… Never too many golf courses, golf carts, country clubs, or hospitals. Florida is God's waiting room; why not make them as happy as possible before they kick the bucket?"
Katie's channels surfing stopped as she came across a song that she knew Brooke would kill her for making her listen to.
Brooke's eyes bulged out of her head as she stared at Katie. "No…. No fucking chance in HELL!!"
Katie snickered and turned the volume up, doing the weird talking hand motions as she sang along to the chorus of "Bye, Bye, Bye"
"Katie, turn it, NOW!!"
She shook her head. "You're driving, so I get to choose the station, and I say we're listening to this."
Brooke groaned in agony, but was soon singing along with Katie as they sped down the road, dancing like a retard in the front seat.
As the song went into the third despised chorus, static started to weigh in heavily on the station. What little sanity that Brooke had, crept back to her as Katie turned the radio off, while cursing the gods, not to silently.
"Heeeellz to the yeah. Looks like someone's looking out for muah." Brooke sang while bouncing in her seat.
"Who in the hell would want to look out for you besides me? You're like a retarded child with a box of matches…" Katie said snickering.
Brooke feigned the look of pure hurt. "It pains me that you think of me that way…" after a moments pause she added, "… can I at least have a helmet??"
Katie furrowed her eyebrows for a minute before she started laughing. Brooke laughed right along side her, but it was clearly fake.
"I can wear my helmet, and you can wear your mouth guard!"
Katie instantly stopped laughing and titty punched Brooke. "Fucking bitch. That mouth guard is for primarily MEDICAL use only!!"
"Riiiiiight…"
They drove in a slightly uncomfortable silence for about fifteen minutes when about half mile ahead, there were several black crows gathering like hippies on the side of the road.
"Ohhh, gawrsh Katie! I told you to NOT bring your fucking devil crows..." Brooke said mocking Goofy.
Katie smirked, "What can I say? They wuv Me." she replied getting stars in her now huge eyes.
"Yeah, yeah..." Brooke replied off hand.
As they came closer to the batch, a strong glare caught Brooke's eye as well as Katie's. Katie, knowing Brooke's sick fascination with shiny objects, started to scream at her.
"No, Brooke...NO NO NO NO NO NO!!"
But alas, her voice was drowned out as the radio came back on blaring Drowning Pool's song 'Bodies' as she made a too20sharp U turn in the middle of the dead road.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!! STOP STOP STOP STOP STOOOOOOOOP!!" came Katie's terrified words as the Jeep started to skid.
Due to their speed and velocity bullshit, the tires left the safety and stability of the road as their vehicle began to flip in mid air three times. The womens screams were echoing as the jeep came to a stop on all four tires.
But sadly, as it always is in these blasted stories, they were knocked out...and drooling...
But that won't be mentioned because that's just embarrassing.
--
OK, so... I have a new story...
Yeah, I know I didn't finish the last one, but, I'm working on it, k?
ANYWAY... this is a story me and a friend (DiagnosisUnknown) have been thinking about doing for awhile, and we finally got off our lazy asses and decided to give it a go... so, here it be