The Jeff'z Devilz Saga

by mikki

This is sorta a spinoff of SugarBaby_HardyGirl's 'Family Conflict' so you have to have read that story to get most of what's in this but if ya didn't that's okay too! More to come later! Please r/r!!

Disclaimer: **WARNING** XTREMELY XTREMELY stupid humor!

This is a spin-off of sorts to SugarBaby_HardyGirl's story 'Family Conflict.' We own everyone except any wrestlers or movie lines in this story. Oh yeah, you have to have read 'Family Conflict' to know who Lillith and Ryder are.

NOW ONTO....

Dude! Where's Grandmaster?

**2007**

Lillith, Jeff, Amy, Matt, and Ryder are all sitting on the couch watching television.

Jeff: " Whoa! What's going on there?"

Lillith: " You were filming Jeff."

Jeff: " Oh Yeah!"

Ryder: " Mom, Dad, who's that?"

*Lillith stares at the T.V. for a minute*

Lillith: That's just Grandmaster."

Matt & Jeff: " Who?"

Lillith: " Grandmaster Sexay."

Jeff: * clueless look*

Amy: " Don't you remember?"

Ryder: " Who is it Mom?"

Lillith: " Well, I don't exactly remember but we lost him somewhere in New York."

Ryder: " Daddy, Uncle Matt, you should go find him!"

Amy: " Ryder, I think those two are too lazy to do something like that."

Lillith: " Hey, what about that one girl who used to follow him around?"

Amy: " The chick who tackled us and almost killed Jeff?"

Jeff: * high-pitched scream* " NO TNO HER! ANYONE BUT HER!"

Lillith: " Sorry, but she's our only hope Jeff."

Amy: " Yeah, she'd probably think up some way to build a time machine and go find him."

Matt: " Like you just did?"

Amy: " Yeah sorta."

Ryder: " Are you all going to ask her to help?"

Lillith: " It's our only way."

*At the same time in another state*

Barbara: " There! I've finally finished my work on the time machine!"

Brittany: " Well it's about time."

Ashley: " Yeah you've been working on it since 8th grade."

Barbara: " The beginning of 9th to be exact!"

Ashley: " Same diff."

Barbara: " DUDE! Brittany, I have a feeling something important is going to happen!"

Brittany: " Yeah sure."

*Briiiiiiiiing! *

Barbara: " Told ya!"

*Barbara talked on the phone and after talking hangs up and screams*

Ashley: " What's your problem?"

Barbara: " AHHHHH! Do you know who that was?"

Brittany & Ashley: Who?!"

Barbara: " JEFF HARDY!!"

Brittany & Ashley: " JEFF HARDY?"

Brittany: " What'd he want?"

Barbara: *blinks* "I forgot."

Ashley: " Well call him back!"

Brittany & Barbara: " STAR 69!"

*Barbara picks up the phone and dials *69. The phone rings and she talks to Jeff*

Barbara: " Uh...what did you want again?"

Jeff: " Can you help us find Grandmaster Sexay?"

Barbara: " OF COURSE!"

*Barbara hangs up*

Brittany: " What'd he want?"

Barbara: " We gotta find Grandmaster Sexay."

Brittany & Ashley: "Where?"

Barbara: " New York 2001!"

Brittany: " 2001! That's like 6 years ago!"

* All head for Time Machine*

Ashley: " Are you sure this is gonna work?"

Barbara: *presses button to go* " No."

Brittany & Ashley: " AHHHHHH!"

*Arrive in past*

Ashley: " So this is New York 6 years ago."

Brittany: " Wow, I've never been to New York."

Barbara: "...Hey! We need a name!"

Ashley: " We have names."

Barbara: " No! A group name!"

Brittany: " Like what?"

Ashley: " Um...Uh...I dunno."

Barbara: " I got it! Jeff's Devils!"

Brittany: " Okay!"

Ashley: " Why not Matt?"

Brittany & Barbara: " Doesn't sound right."

Ashley: " Whatever."

Ashley: " Hey, doesn't this remind you of some movie?"

Barbara: *Rolls eyes*

Ashley: " No really Char..."

Brittany: " SHH! do ya wanna get sued?"

Ashley: " Riiiight."

Barbara: " Should we start looking?"

Ashley: " Yeah, but where?"

Brittany: " WWF NEW YORK!"

Barbara: " Let's go then!"

*Jeff's Devils walk into WWF New York*

Ashley: " Wow, look at all the superstars!"

Barbara: " It's Shane McMahon!"

Shane: " Hi."

Barbara: " Sorry, can't admire you properly, we're on an impossible mission."

*Jeff's Devils run into Lita*

Brittany: " It's Lita!"

Lita: " Hey!" *smiles*

Barbara: " Have you seen Grandmaster Sexay?"

Lita: " Nope sorry."

Barbara: " Damn bitch."

Lita: " Excuse me?"

Barbara: *sweetly* " Nothing."

Lita: " Thought so."

Brittany: " I don't think Grandmaster Sexay is here."

Barbara: " Damn, let's go."

*Jeff's Devils leave WWF New York. They run into Scotty Too Hotty.*

Barbara: " SCOTTY! Have you seen Grandmaster Sexay?"

Scotty: " Nah sorry."

Ashley: " I thought you guys were best friends."

Scotty: *shrugs* " Not like we travel together."

Barbara: " Well you're no help!"

* Barbara kicks Scotty Too Hotty in the shin.*

Scotty: " OW!"

Ashley & Brittany: " Okay, let's go." * They drag Barbara away telling at Scotty Too Hotty.*

Ashley: " Where should we check now?"

Brittany: " I dunno."

Ashley: " Where could he be?"

Barbara: " I think I know!"

Ashley: " Didn't you kidnap him?"

Barbara: " No, didn't get the chance to he was already missing."

Brittany: " So where is her? Where do we check?"

Barbara: " WWF HEADQUARTERS!"

Ashley: " But that's in Connecticut!"

Barbara: " So, we'll use my matter transporter!"

Ashley & Brittany: " NO!"

Barbara: " It's our only way of getting there. TOUGH BEANS!"

Ashley & Brittany: " Aw."

* Jeff's Devils find Barbara's matter transporter and zap themselves to Connecticut*

*AT WWF HEADQUARTERS*

Ashley: " AH! This is the guys bathroom!"

Brittany: " I told you this was a bad idea."

Barbara: " At least we're here!" *pushed open door* " Excuse us!"

Guys: " AHHHHHH!"

Barbara: " Ah shut up you sissies!"

*Jeff's Devils exit the bathroom*

Ashley: " Now where do we go?"

Brittany: " Let's look around."

Barbara: " Maybe we'll find Vince." *rolls eyes* " If we do, let's kick his ass!"

Ashley & Brittany: " OKAY!"

*Vince walks down the hall*

Barbara: " GET HIM!"

* Jeff's Devils attack Vince*

Vince: " What's the..."

*Barbara punches Vince in the jaw*

Barbara: " Where's Grandmaster?"

Vince: " I don't know!"

Barbara: " Wrong answer!" *Punches Vince again*

Vince: " I DON'T KNOW!" *Screams like a girl*

Barbara: " We want ANSWERS! Where is he?!"

Vince: " I don't know!"

Barbara: *sighs* " Fine."

* Barbara punches Vince again and Jeff's Devils leave*

Brittany: " What now?"

Ashley: " Yeah, we've been searching for hours!"

Barbara: " We have to find him we can't fail Jeff!"

Brittany: " But where do we look?"

Barbara: " In a tattoo parlor!"

Ashley & Brittany: " A tattoo parlor?"

Barbara: " Well I wanna get a tattoo before we find him."

Ashley & Brittany: *Rolls eyes*

Barbara: " Come on!"

* Jeff's Devils leave & go to a tattoo parlor. Barbara gets a tattoo that says 'Grandmaster', it's across her chest.*

Ashley & Brittany: " You're crazy."

Barbara: " I know."

Brittany: " What now?"

Barbara: " I just remembered something."

Ashley: " What?"

Barbara: " Grandmaster is in my basement."

Ashley & Brittany: " IN YOUR BASEMENT?"

Barbara: " Yeah."

Ashley: " Well, let's go get him!"

Barbara: " NO!"

Brittany: " Why not?"

Barbara: " Cause, I don't wanna!"

Ashley: * Mother-ish* " Now Barbara you have too, you know he's not yours."

Barbara: * Like a 3-year-old* " NO! I don't wanna! I won't, I won't!"

Brittany: " Barb! You have too!"

Barbara: *whines* " Fine."

* Jeff's Devils use Barb's matter transporter and go back to Barb's house*

Brittany: " Come on Barb let's go!"

Barbara: * Stubbornly* " NO!"

Ashley & Brittany: " BARBARA!" *stern looks*

Barbara: " Fine, come on."

* Jeff's Devils walk down to Barbara's basement*

Barbara: *jiggles handle* " Oh darn it's locked, let's go!"

Ashley: " BARBARA!"

Barbara: " Okay fine."

* Barbara opens the door and walks in. Brittany & Ashley see Grandmaster Sexay chained to a wall*

Brittany: " BARBARA! Un-chain him!"

Barbara: " UH...lost the key."

Ashley: " Suuure."

Barbara: " I DID!"

Brittany: " Then what's that around your neck?"

Barbara: " My diary key?"

Ashley: " It's a combination lock!"

Barbara: " Forgot the combination."

Brittany: " Barbara! This is serious! Un-chain him!"

Grandmaster: *Blinks* " What are you girls doing here...and where am I?"

Barbara: " Uh...you're in my house and they're trying to make me give you up."

Grandmaster: " Well listen to 'em!"

Barbara: " NO!"

Grandmaster: " YES!"

Barbara: " NO!"

Grandmaster: " YES!"

*Barb and GMS get into a big screaming fight.*

Barbara: " You can't scream louder than me!"

Grandmaster: " Oh yeah!"

Barbara: *louder* " Yeah!!"

Grandmaster: " I'm not gonna argue like a 2-year-old."

Barbara: " Yes you are!"

Grandmaster: " No I'm not!"

Barbara: " Yes!"

Grandmaster: " No!"

Ashley & Brittany: " SHUT UP!"

*Barbara and GMS both shut up and get sheepish looks on their faces.*

Ashley: " That's better!"

Brittany: " Now Barbara, unlock Grandmaster so we can take him back."

Barbara: " Uh...no!"

Grandmaster: " YES!"

*Barb turns to GMS and looks at him evilly*

Barbara: " NO!"

Grandmaster: " Yes!"

Brittany: " OH NO! No more of that!"

Ashley: " Barb unchain Grandmaster NOW!"

Barbara: " Oh fine." *pouts*

*Barbara reluctantly unchained Grandmaster from the wall*

Brittany: " Okay, now we have to get him back to where he belongs."

Barbara: *pouts* " Do we have to?"

Ashley, Brittany, & GMS: " YES!"

Barbara: " You have to catch me before I give him back!"

*Barb grabs GMS and runs toward the time machine*

Grandmaster: " LEMME GO!"

Barbara: *evilly* " NEVER!"

Ashley: " Let him go!"

Barbara: " CATCH ME!"

*Barb drags GMS into the time machine while Ashley and Brittany are following close behind.*

Brittany: " Ashley hurry! She'll get away!"

Ashley: " Okay!"

*All 4 of them end up in 1996*

Barbara: *Grabs GMS and runs* " Mwahahahha!"

Ashley: " NO!"

Brittany: " Too late, she's already gone to her house!"

Ashley: " Well let's go."

Brittany: " It's not that easy, her parents were still together!"

Ashley: " Damn."

Brittany: " But I know where the general area is."

*At Barb's house*

Past Barbara: " AHHH! It's Too Sexy Brian Christopher!"

Future Barbara: " No, Grandmaster Sexay!"

Grandmaster: " They're both right!"

*Both girls stick their tongues out*

Future Barbara: *Looks out window and sees Ashley and Brittany coming* " Look me! I was never here!" *Uses Matter transporter to go to WWF Headquarters*

*Knock On Door*

Past Barbara: *opens door* " Hi! Hi!"

Brittany & Ashley: " I s future Barb home?"

Past Barbara: " She's at WWF Headquarters!"

Brittany & Ashley: " Gotta go Thanks!" *Runs away*

Brittany: " How will we get there?"

Ashley: " Um...Steal a bus and drive?"

Brittany: " But that's stupid."

Ashley: " Hey, it worked for Speed."

Brittany: " Let's just steal a car."

Ashley: " Okay."

*Ashley & Brittany steal a car and somehow get to WWF Headquarters on an empty gas tank*

Ashley: " Oh no."

Brittany: *Reading* " Circus tonight..." *Sees Albert dressed up like a carnie worker* " Uh-oh."

Ashley & Brittany: *Walks toward entrance*

Albert: " Gotta pay."

Ashley: " Uh... we know Barb."

Albert: * Holds out collection tin*

Ashley: " Fine."

*Both girls enter tent*

Brittany: " I want good seats!"

Ashley: " Ok!" *Runs to get front row seats*

Brittany: " Yeah... now we just wait for GMS to come out and then kidnap him. We can lure him back to our time and Barb will follow him."

Ashley: *High fives Brittany* " Oh look! Jeff is the human cannon ball."

Brittany: "AHHHHH! *Watches Jeff get shot out of a cannon* " Look...it's Moppy, she's a contortionist."

Ashley: *Hits Brittany on the shoulder* " Look it's Barb."

Barbara: " And now for our Main event... the AAAmazing Briandinni..." *Grandmaster comes out*

Grandmaster: *Starts doing magic tricks. He spots Brittany & Ashley and runs to them.*

Brittany: " Let's jet!"

Ashley: " JETT JACKSON!"

*The 3 of them run to another car, closely followed by Barbara*

Barbara: " Come back!"

Brittany: " Barbara we have to put everything back to normal!"

Grandmaster: " How?"

Ashley: " By taking you back to where you belong. We just need to have Lillith find him in 2001."

Barbara: " Fine, I understand...then everything can go back to normal and this stupid story ends."

Grandmaster: " Yup."

* They use the time machine and end up in New York 2001*

Lillith: " Brian! Where have you been? We had an autograph signing over 6 months ago!"

Julia: " Sweetie! I was worried!" *Shoots Lillith the evil death look*

(a/n: u have to have read Family Conflict to know a/b that too)

Jeff: *Walks over to the 3 girls* " I knew you could do it."

Brittany: " But how did you know?"

Matt: " We kept in touch with our future selves."

Ashley: " Oohhh!"

A/n: Like this makes ANY sense!

Devils: " Bye everybody..."

Barbara: *seconds before they leave* " Z-yew later Bri-Babe!"

*3 Girls arrive back in the future*

Barbara: " Another lovely adventure."

Brittany & Ashley: " Another scary adventure."

* Phone rings & Barb puts it on speaker phone*

Jeff: * On The other line* " Devils....I need your help!"

Ashley: " What's wrong?"

Jeff: " We can't...*Long pause*.... " Open this pickle Jar!"

Ashley: " We'll."

Brittany: " Be..."

Barbara: " Right there. As leader I say we should leave now."

* 3 strike Charlie's Angels pose*