A/N: Obvs. CB will not be getting together any time soon, the end of the season if we're lucky. I've been thinking about doing this for awhile, since sometime during the break I think, and it's finally here. This will be a series of oneshots of when CB could get together in every episode the rest of the season, 5x11 on. Enjoy & please review. This first one starts after Blair gives Chuck her "explanation" and DS make it back to the Waldorf's in 5x11.
*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.
…
They'd popped in a movie, some romantic comedy she'd found behind a stack of old-time Audrey Hepburn. Now Dan had fallen asleep on the couch beside her. His head was turned away from her as it fell painfully curved over the side of the couch. There was a light pang inside her that was disappointed he wasn't facing towards her with his head on her shoulder, giving her the flutters that had erupted when they'd kissed at midnight. She was the only one that had felt sparks then. It was obvious, since two seconds after their lips parted, he'd turned his head back in Blair's direction, watching as she kissed her prince and as a heartbroken Chuck made to leave.
Her heart ached for Blair. She knew how terrified her best friend was for Chuck's life, but no matter what she'd said, she was convinced there was no other alternative than to marry Louis and to stay away from Chuck, because that was what she'd promised.
It had been hard from the beginning to believe Blair had genuine feelings for Louis. Even now the love she supposedly held for him seemed to be faltered. It was forced, and Louis was the only one who couldn't see it. He couldn't see that the only reason she was so devoted to him now was because she felt she had to be.
Maybe that wasn't fair. Blair probably did love Louis. But not the way she loved Chuck. She'd never love anybody, not even Dan if he had gotten the chance, the way she loved Chuck. That's what made this so tragic. The cab nearly running Chuck over, according to Blair's retelling, was surely coincidence. But with how intensely Blair believed in this pact she'd made, she couldn't see that clearly, and there seemed no way Serena could convince her. That was why she'd made up the story she very much wished could be true – her and Dan, together again.
She knew there was one person who could convince her though. Just like when push came to shove, only Blair could turn Chuck around.
This would be breaking the promise she'd made, to keep Chuck in the dark. But those two belonged together. God could surely understand that. He had to. No one was more meant to be than Chuck and Blair. If Blair actually married Louis, it could never be undone. They could never be saved. Chuck would sink into the darkness again, and there would always be some part of Blair that would the regret the decision, whether she had done it for the good of Chuck's wellbeing or not.
She took a deep breath and stood to her feet. Before leaving, she grabbed a blanket on the opposite chair and snugly covered Dan with it. She looked at him longingly and then grabbed her coat and headed for The Empire.
…
He didn't turn to see who had entered when he heard the ding of the elevator. It had been awhile since Blair had left, but he didn't believe it could possibly be her returning. She'd made it loud and clear that though it broke her heart, there was no way she could be with him and she wasn't going to fill him in on the details. There was no reason for her to return, especially not so soon, an hour or later or not.
The high heels caught him by surprise and for a moment he thought it might just be her. Even Monkey perked up and spun around to see who was there. He padded across the room to welcome the visitor.
Chuck's expression thinned to indifference.
"Serena."
She pursed her lips and walked towards him, setting her purse on the low table in the middle of the room.
"Taking time off from your incestuous fling just to visit me? How generous of you."
She continued the short trek towards him, stopping a safe distance away.
"There's something I think you should know," she said, ignoring his bitter jest.
He raised his eyebrows.
"It's about Blair."
Instantly, his attention became entirely focused on what she was about to say. He'd still been half looking out the window in resentment, confusion and a pain he was trying to hide with her present ever since she entered, but now the desperation in him was the only thing palpable on his face.
"You know why she refuses to be with me."
She hesitated, averting his eyes for a moment.
"Why she's suddenly completely gone bipolar and is using the bogus excuse that the crash put things into perspective."
"I…well…"
"Serena."
Her eyes flickered up to his at his demanding tone. She couldn't back down now. If things didn't work out between her step-brother and her best friend, it would take a long time for Blair to forgive her. She didn't like breaking promises, especially not to Blair. At the same time though, she couldn't watch the two of them be so heartbroken when the problem could easily be fixed.
"It did put things in perspective," she said carefully, "but not in the way you think."
His eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
She took a breath and braced herself.
"I shouldn't be telling you this…" she finally let herself admit out loud.
"You should have thought of that before you walked in the front door."
He was right, she reminded herself. There was nothing left to do but tell him.
"We should sit down," she said, gesturing to the couches behind her. Chuck's eyes glanced briefly at the furniture and then returned to hers.
"No," he said. "I can take it, whatever it is."
She eyed him, nervous suddenly. Her arms felt chilled.
"Serena," he pleaded. "I have to know what it is, and to somehow save her from it. I…" he lost his breath. "I can't lose her, not when I know that she really wants me to be with her, that I make her happy and I'm all she needs."
She nodded, feeling such sorrow for him – and for Blair, that she needed no more convincing.
"After she woke up at the hospital and was told that she lost the baby…and that you hadn't woken up…she was distraught."
Chuck watched her closely, letting himself sink back into those memories of him in the hospital.
"She went to the chapel there," she continued, "and…she made a pact with God to stay with Louis and away from you if He let you live."
"What?" he whispered, completely blind-sided. He certainly hadn't expected that.
"Almost instantly, as Blair tells it, a nurse opened the doors of the chapel and told her that you were asking for her, and you were awake."
He shuddered and made his way slowly to the couches in the center of the room, as Serena had previously suggested. She followed him and sat down across from him.
"She's staying away with me because she believes…"
"—that her breaking the pact will make God lash out and kill you."
He shook his head in disbelief as his eyebrows furrowed. "But that's crazy. It was modern medicine that kicked in, not God."
"That's what I told her. But apparently she's been going with Dan to church every day – hence the pictures of them – in order to try and find a way around the pact. I guess she saw you one day and you almost got hit by a cab crossing the street. She took that as a sign that she can't fool around with a way to get out of this pact she's made."
Chuck shot to his feet.
"I have to talk to her."
"No, Chuck—"
"You came here to tell me so I'd convince her that she could be with me, not just so I would get the explanation as to why she refuses to be near me or explain herself, right?"
Hesitantly, she nodded. "Yes, but—"
"You knew I'd fight for her, that now knowing the truth there is nothing else I could do."
She sighed and nodded again. "Yes."
"Well, then, you should feel relieved, not guilty."
Her head reared back a little, wondering how he'd read her mind.
"Thank-you, Serena," he said, moving past her.
She was shell-shocked and the chills rippled through her again. By the time she turned to see him leave, the elevator doors were already closing behind him. Despite the fact that he'd made an offhand remark to relieve her of her guilt, she still felt the heavy burden pulling her down. She sat back down on the couch, consumed with what had just happened. She didn't even know if Blair was home yet. And what if Dan woke up and tried to shoo Chuck away, probably succeeding because unlike her he'd be able to keep his promise to Blair.
She sighed and sunk farther back into the cushions.
Monkey came up beside her and then hopped onto the couch, placing his furry head promptly on her lap and nudging her hand in an effort to get her to pet him. A small smile appeared on her lips as she sighed again. She lifted her hand and began to stroke his fur.
…
It was almost eerie in the foyer. Chuck heard the distinctive groan of a half-asleep Dan Humphrey and knew he had to take action. He didn't know what the guy was doing here, but he knew well enough that avoiding him would be smart if he ever wanted to get to Blair tonight. He could face the confrontation if necessary, but he'd rather he didn't have to. He still didn't have a clue as to what he was going to say to Blair. That took up enough energy as it was.
As quietly as he could, he climbed the stairs and made his way down the hall to Blair's bedroom. Bracing himself for confrontation now from her, and possibly more tears, he took a breath and knocked lightly on the door. When he could hear no movement going on from inside, he figured she must be sleeping. He turned the knob slowly and moved inside.
She was sleeping. Or, at least she was curled up under the covers, facing the opposite direction. Louis was nowhere in sight. He must have dropped her off earlier, he gathered. It had been awhile since they'd last seen each other. The long drive over had been painful for him to sit through.
Gently, he closed the door behind him and made his way towards her in the shadows.
"Blair?" he whispered.
He saw her move, if only slightly, but she said nothing. He removed his shoes and padded toward the bed. He circled to where her face was turned and glanced down at his beauty, her eyes wide open as she stared at the blank wall across from her.
"Go home, Chuck."
"I am home," he said in a choked whisper.
She closed her eyes and when she opened them, they were gazing down at the floor.
"I'm not telling you anymore, Chuck."
"You don't have to."
Fear and the feeling of betrayal snapped through her. Serena had told him, after she'd sworn she wouldn't, and after she'd even gone so far as to fake a relationship with Humphrey at the party.
She turned her face to look up at him.
"Then you know why we can't be together."
He shook his head slowly and then got down on his knees beside the bed.
"No, I don't."
Her eyes watered. "Don't you understand? If anything ever happened to you—"
"Nothing will."
"How can you say that?" she asked, feeling as if she was about to break. Just a few moments earlier she'd been indifferent and certain she could get him to leave if she stuck to her resolve, but now he was forcing her to face the facts she hadn't been able to tell him earlier and she hated it because it was making her weak. She couldn't back down now, but it was so hard because he knew everything now.
"Because it's true," he said soothingly and yet with more confidence then she'd ever seen in him. "Blair, I've almost been killed three times and survived all of those times."
"I didn't make a pact for the others."
"Blair, I didn't wake up from the car accident in the hospital because you made a pact with God to stay away from me and marry Louis. If anything, God made me wake up because he saw what you were willing to sacrifice and granted you your wish."
She sat up now, irritated that he was making her go through this.
"Then how come that cab almost hit you the other day right when I was reconsidering my decision? Father Cavalia told me that the terms of my pact could only be handled between God and myself. Only seconds later you were nearly hit by a cab in the street."
"Bad driving? Me not looking both ways? Me not walking at the crosswalk? It's all coincidence."
She sighed roughly. "You don't understand."
"I do," he said, taking her hands. "I can't imagine what it was like for you, losing your baby and then almost losing me on top of it, but…" he rubbed his fingers lightly over the back of her hand. "God wouldn't want you to marry Louis just because you feel you have to."
"I love him," she insisted, going for the tactics she'd used before they'd gotten together.
"But he's not the one you never want to leave."
She met his gaze and sighed, deeply wanting to sink into his arms and pledge her life to him again. Instead she shook her head slowly.
"I'm sorry, Chuck. I can't risk it. If something ever happened to you, I would blame myself for the rest of my life, no matter what anyone said." She looked down at her hands, her heart sinking when she realized Chuck was no longer rubbing the soothing circles that had started to relax her. "It was divine intervention. I have to keep my end of the bargain."
"And what if I did something to myself?"
She looked up at him. "What?"
"What if I was the one to cause an 'unfortunate accident'?"
Her eyebrows furrowed in desperation. "Chuck…"
"I could drink myself into a stupor. Over the years, it would kill my liver. Or, I could always find myself on a rooftop, say…Victrola?"
"You wouldn't."
"I could. Watching the love of your life walk down the aisle and marry a man you both know she shouldn't be with can really wreck any sort of growth a man has made."
She straightened. "I told you not to let this ruin all the good. You've completely turned your life around."
"Because I thought I wasn't good enough for you, and not being with you would be giving you your happy ending. You would be a real princess."
Her lips parted, her eyes intent on his, darting back and forth in their intensity.
"But you proved to me, in the back of that limo, that I was worthy of you. There is nothing I wouldn't do now to have you."
Her mouth snapped shut.
"You tell me what's worse. Feeling guilty over an accidental death that might happen? Or watching me watch you live a life we could have had together."
She sucked in a breath. "Chuck…"
"You tell me."
She shook her head, nearly closing her eyes when the tears started to pour forth. "I don't want you to die. Can't you see that? I just…I wouldn't be able to handle it. I—I might resort to killing myself just so I could be properly punished for breaking God's trust."
"No. That wouldn't be it and you know it."
Her exasperation overwhelmed her. "Chuck," she nearly shrieked.
"You would kill yourself in return so you could be with me. Not because you felt guilty over breaking a pact."
"No."
"Yes."
Helplessly, more tears rolled down her face.
"Because in that scenario, you wouldn't have broken the pact, but you would have allowed yourself to think you hadn't done enough by staying away and in doing what you thought was proper punishment would actually be betraying what you originally thought you had to do."
She stared at him, trying hard to put together what he was saying. A tight desperation still warred inside her, but the determination on his face and in his words ignited a small flame of hope inside her. Keep going, she begged. Give me a fool-proof reason to change my mind.
"Don't you see?" He tightened his grip on her hands and raised himself to sit on her bed beside her. The heat of her covered legs burned him. It was almost as if he could taste the air she breathed. He swam in her scent, still too far away.
"You're caught."
Her bottom lip quivered. He took one of his hands and cupped her chin between his fingers. Her eyes closed briefly at his touch.
"Chuck…"
"God is testing your love. He's seen your sacrifice, and now he's granting you peace by showing you the only way out is to let me in."
She swallowed hard, desperately wanting to believe him.
"You could be good," she said. "If you were good, and I kept my pact, everything would be fine. Nothing bad would happen."
"You're wrong."
"Prove it."
He leaned forward and swiftly kissed her, pulling her towards him with his hand wrapped around the back of her neck.
"Chuck—"
He persisted, covering her protests with more of his slaughtering, sweet kisses.
"Chuck—Chuck, no—" she cried.
"Trust me," he breathed into her mouth.
"No…no…" She tried to shake her head but he was all over her now, pulling her close and wrapping his arms around her. She felt so safe in his arms. She wanted this. She wanted it so badly.
But she was scared.
"Chuck—" She pushed at his chest, but instead of backing off he used his weight to press them into the bed. She gasped when his lips traveled down to her neck and his teeth nipped at her skin gently. She gave in, tears rolling down her cheeks. This was the moment of her life, but she was weak and she needed this.
He rose to rid himself of his jacket and belt. It gave her time to leave if she wanted it, or to push him out of her room. He felt the sweat beaded on his forehead at allowing himself to take such a risk.
But she made no movement to get him to leave. Instead, when he'd finished the small task, she grabbed at the collar of his shirt and pulled him back down to her. She kissed him heavily and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him still closer.
"Blair," he groaned.
She moaned and tears still flew from her closed eyes.
"Chuck," she made out on a choked sob.
"I love you," he muttered roughly against her skin.
She cried in response, shaking.
He warmed her with the heat of his body, and soothed her with repeated confessions of his love.
She let him take her. She let him have all of her. The fear that had engulfed her since returning from Europe seemed to evaporate. In the dark recesses of her mind, she wondered how long it was last. She had broken the pact. But all she could feel now was Chuck.
….
She woke up early the next morning, the events of the night before slamming into her as she realized her head lay on Chuck's bare chest and their legs intertwined. Reluctantly, she unwound herself from him and slid off the bed, wrapping herself in the sheer, white robe at her bedside.
She went into her bathrobe and shut the door, breathing slowly as she stared down into the sink. It looked odd to her as she turned on the water and washed her face. She looked at her face in the mirror after it had been washed and dried. Except for the fear in her eyes, she looked better than she had in weeks without her make-up on. If she let herself ignore the fear she had for Chuck's safety, she could tap into the unbelievable happiness and security she felt just hearing him say he loved her and feeling his body pressed up against her. It'd been so long since they'd been together like that, and the security she felt in his arms was beyond reassuring and comforting. She suddenly sobbed at the thought of parting from him forever again.
She covered her hand over her mouth and took a deep breath, brushing aside the tears. She turned away from the mirror and sat down on the closed toilet.
"God," she whispered shakily, "give me a sign. Please let me have him." She shook as she slumped forward and poured her tears into her hands covering her face. "I don't want this life without him."
Suddenly, she heard movement. She lifted her head and crossed the bathroom to her side. She leaned her head against the door and pressed her ear into the wood. Chuck was talking on the phone.
"What?" he asked groggily into the phone. "What?" he asked again, this time more alarmed but still with obvious reluctance to get down into the matter. "Okay. Yeah…I'll be there. Just…see if you can manage things for today. Make an apology to the guests and—what?" Blair was alerted at his first real shock. "Oh my…wow." Euphoria echoed in his voice and her heart beat faster. "Yes, be sure to clean things up. I'll stay put till tomorrow. Call me if things get out of hand. Right. Bye."
The shock was still evident on his face when she cautiously walked out of the bathroom and to where he sat on her bed.
"Chuck?"
His head turned to her slowly and a small smile that sent shivers up her spine formed on his face.
"What is it?" she asked.
He turned the covers over him and climbed out of the bed. His eyes still glowing, he walked towards her.
"There was a storm last night…" he shook his head slowly, dazed. "Lightning struck The Empire several times."
Her eyebrows furrowed in concern, now wondering why he was so dazedly happy.
"Everything is fine. No one was hurt. The power is just temporarily out, and so arrangements are being made for the guests as the mechanics come in and things get worked out with the electric company."
Her brows furrowed, still confused.
"You're not telling me something."
He looked directly at her now, the glow in his face slowly traveling to her own.
"The worst of the damage was in the penthouse. The lights burst. The one in my bedroom started a fire on my bed."
Blair gasped, covering her hand over her mouth.
"If I hadn't been here, I could be in the hospital now. Or dead."
Fear raced across her face and a sensation she couldn't quite define.
"If that's not a sign what is." He smiled slowly.
She threw her arms around him, hugging him close.
"Clearly, God is threatening you now."
She pulled back to look into his glittering eyes.
"Be with me or I die. Then again, maybe it's just coincidence." He shrugged.
She almost laughed, smacking him lightly.
"That's not funny."
"No," he said, "but is it what you need?"
She thought about her desperate prayer in the bathroom and felt the reassurance she'd been seeking. God was releasing her from her promise. Her mind scattered to a vague old story told from the Bible. An old man granted a child in his old age and told to sacrifice him by God. He'd had everything to lose in that child, but to prove his trust and loyalty to God, he'd gone full force ahead to kill his one and only son. An angel had stopped him at the last second. God was pleased with his dedication and willingness to do whatever he asked, because he was his Lord, and so released him from his promise.
Peace and an overwhelming joy filled her heart and spread throughout her entire body as she realized she was that man. Chuck was still safe, even in her arms.
She looked up into his eyes, unable to close her mouth for the wide grin it showed. She started nodding her head rapidly.
"Yes, yes, yes," she continued, almost giggling.
Chuck picked her up and spun her into a circle. The happiness that consumed him almost made him burst. He was so unbelievably happy. She was his again. Blair was finally his. For real. He would never lose him again. She was everything he ever wanted and needed, and he was the same for her. They would be a family. She'd said they always would be. And now, released from her belief, they finally could be.
He set her back down and cupped her face in his hands, her smiling eyes triggering the butterflies explosion in his stomach.
"I love you, Blair," he breathed.
She nodded rapidly still.
"Marry me," he demanded, tears of relief welling up in his eyes.
"Yes," she breathed. Then she cried out and threw her arms around him again. "Oh God, yes. Chuck!" she cried out. Then she pulled back, eyes dancing with tears and stroked the side of his face. "Yes…" she whispered, shivering with overwhelming joy as she touched his soft skin.
Then, she looked up into his eyes, which were now hooded and heated, much to her surprise. It did not take long for the moisture to glisten the dark curls between her thighs. Chuck took one step forward, pressing one leg between her two and groaning quietly as he felt her wetness on his knee and covered her mouth with his slaughtering kisses.
He turned them and they fell together onto her bed. He groaned and pressed himself against her. He made love to her and refused to leave the bed for hours.
Later, she reminded him that his hotel probably had some serious damage done to it and she had yet to break off her engagement to Louis. Reluctantly, he left her, but they met up for dinner and he proposed again, this time with the Harry Winston he'd repurchased as soon as he'd been able to when he emerged from the hospital. He'd been sure he wouldn't lose her, and he was right. It was always them.
It would always be them.
…
A/N: So, I think this is pretty good. Heh. Please review! ;p I know I've been pretty sporadic in writing things and keeping to multi-chaps but I've really lost my motivation, so…I'm trying. Hopefully 5x12 will be up soon. =)
*Also, the Bible story reference at the end was to Abraham & Isaac in Genesis. Just so you know I'm not making stuff up. XD