This is an idea I've had for quite a while. I was recently rereading OOTP and realized something very obvious our heroes seem to have overlooked. This is for comedic value and entertainment purposes only. I am not, in any way, attempting to insult the literary genius of J.K. Rowling. I just found this amusing. JKR is an amazing author and I would never attempt to imply otherwise. This fic takes place just after Harry and Hermione escape the centaurs and leave Umbridge in the forest. I know there are glaring, blinding, Grawp sized similarities to what actually happened in the book, and all rights to that content are properties of J.K. Rowling and her associated affiliates.
Disclaimer: I own no recognizable content in this fanfiction. This was strictly written for entertainment purposes and no profit is being made or will ever be made from this story. No copyright infringement or infringement of registered trademarks is intended.
Harry and Hermione ran as hard as they possibly could, their hands raised to protect their heads from any stray arrows the centaurs may have aimed in their direction. Once the yells from both Professor Umbridge and the centaurs alike had died out, they stopped, legs sore and gripping stitches in their sides.
"That…was…absolutely…terrifying," Hermione panted, her hands on her knees.
"Never mind that, how are we going to get out of here?" Harry said, breathing hard. They had wasted so much time in the Forest, it seemed like hours and hours ago that Harry had had the vision of Sirius. As though to remind him of this, his scar gave a sharp, painful jolt, though not as painful as he knew it could become if the unthinkable had already been dished out. "We shouldn't have come in this far, it'll take us forever to get out of here! And then when we do, how the hell are we supposed to get to London?"
"Funnily enough, we were wondering the same thing."
Harry and Hermione swiftly turned their heads to bush where the voice had issued. Ron, Ginny, Luna, and Neville were all climbing through the foliage toward where Harry and Hermione stood, blood soaked and panting.
"How did you get away from Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad?" Hermione squeaked as Ron handed her wand to her and then turned to give Harry his.
"Disarming Charms, Stunning spells, Neville got a really excellent Impediment Jinx in," Ron listed, tacking them all off on his fingers. "Oh, and Ginny did Malfoy. Bat-Bogey Hex. It was brilliant. We saw you all heading out here and followed."
"Where's Umbridge gone?" Ginny asked.
"The centaurs carried her off. Then Grawp chased them off before they could do us too," Hermione said, her voice still a mite higher than normal.
"Who's Graw-?"
"We'll talk about it later," Ron interrupted nervously after catching the impatient look on Harry's face. "Right now we need to figure out how we're all getting to London."
"I hope by 'we' you mean you, Hermione, and me," Harry said angrily.
"Oh, don't start on that, Harry," Ginny said, wearily. "All six of us are going. Don't waste time arguing about it."
Harry was on the verge of protesting when Luna jumped in.
"We could take the thestrals," she said, calmly, waving her hand off to the right of the group. "I expect more of them will arrive soon with the amount of blood you two are covered in."
To Harry's astonishment, a group of three thestrals had suddenly appeared in their midst. Harry walked over to one of them which began promptly licking his sleeve.
"Brilliant," he said. "Ron, Hermione, and I can take these and Hermione and Ginny can swap robes so she can keep attracting them and catch up later."
Ginny opened her mouth to protest, but was interrupted, this time, by Hermione.
"Wait, wait, wait!" she said, waving her arms vigorously. "None of this is even necessary! Didn't we just establish that Umbridge's fire is completely unguarded? As long as we don't slip on Malfoy's bogey drippings, I don't think anyone is going to stop us from using it. We can all just Floo to the Ministry from there. We don't need to go flying off on thestrals."
Harry's jaw had dropped open, along with Ron's and just about everyone else's. Hermione was wearing a very familiar, exasperated look with her arms tightly crossed across her chest. Harry recovered first.
"Well…well, let's get on with it, then," he said, laying his wand out flat on his hand and muttering "Point me."
And, using this handy spell, and the ways of navigating taught to them in their Divination lessons with Firenze, they made their way back to the castle and up to Umbridge's office where they escaped a long, terrifying, ride through the skies in favor of a two-second travel method.