Chapter one:
Rachel walked from her dads car up to her best friend, Noah's, house. He was sitting on the steps outside his front door. His dad had left yesterday. Noah didn't know what to do, all he knew was his dad wasn't coming back. Rachel knew him well though, she simply sat down next to him grabbed his hand in hers and told him she'd never leave him. They were 5 then.
"Oi, Rach!" She heard before turning round and facing a slushy. The sticky red mixture seeped through her white dress shirt, making it see-through. "Nice!" Puck grinned eyeing her blue bra. That's who he was now, he wasn't Noah anymore, he was Puck. Rachel walked into the girls bathroom and cleaned herself off.
In Glee club at the end of the day Rachel was sitting in her seat when she got a text.
Daddy: Can you pick Gem up? Dad and I are working late x
Rachel*: Yep, cya 2night.
She walked over to Mr. Shue, "I need to leave, I need to pick the baby up." She said quietly. "Of course, why don't you bring her back here?" Rachel glanced at Puck, no she couldn't bring her daughter here, too many questions. "I don't know Mr. Shue, no one knows I'm a mother." Mr. Shue shrugged, "Are you sure that would be okay?" Rachel asks. "If you get uncomfortable you can always go," He smiled, Will Shuster had a soft spot for Rachel, he knew about the baby as soon as Rachel joined Glee. He knew how hard it was for her, the only thing he didn't know, which no one except Rachel knew, was who the father was. "Okay, I'll see you in a little while then," Rachel smiled as she grabbed her bag and was out the room.
"Rachel, do you wanna be my girl?" Noah asks as they sit on a bench in the playground, one break time. They were 7.
"Does that mean we can kiss? Like mommys and daddys do?" Rachel asked taking his hand in hers. "Yes, but you can't kiss anyone else." Noah said leaning in and pecking her on the lips. Rachel gave him her brilliant smile, "Okay,"
"Thank you, Martha, I'm sorry I'm late," Rachel said to the girl in her thirties, who was the manager at the day care centre, for teenage parents. Rachel spotted her daughter straight away, Gemma Berry was 10 months old and drop dead gorgeous. Short, dark brown, soft, wavy curls. Piercing hazel eyes that she got from her father. Gemma was sprawled on a blanket on the floor, sitting herself up when she saw her mother. "MOMA!" she yelled, reaching her arms up. Rachel lifted the tiny girl into her arms. "Hey baby girl ready to go?"
Gemma cooed happily in Rachel's arms.
"See ya tomorrow Rach," Martha called after Rachel.
When Rachel walked into Glee club with a baby in her arms all eyes turned to her. "Hey, Rachel, do you want an introduction?" Mr. Shue asked. Rachel half nodded, "Guys this is Rachel's daughter Gemma," Rachel heard a lot of gasps.
Artie: "For real?"
Quinn: "She's 16?"
Finn: "Is this a joke?"
"Yes Artie for real, Yes Quinn I'm 16 and no Finn not a joke at all," Rachel said as she takes her usual spot in the front row.
"So that's the guest today, I need you to split down the room and work in those groups to come up with a number you want for sectionals," Mr. Shue explained. Rachel realized it was her, Quinn, Tina, Finn, Mike and Puck. Everyone circled around Rachel and the baby.
"Wow, she's so tiny," Puck said staring at the baby bewildered. Gemma couldn't pull her eyes away from Puck.
"Well, I'm petite and I was young carrying her," Rachel shrugged.
"Petite, you're a freaking midget," Puck said his gaze still locked with Gemma's.
"How old is she?" Quinn asked taking Gemma's hand. "10 months," Rachel replied watching as Gemma pulled Quinn's hand to her mouth. Then pointing at Puck.
"Her eyes aren't the same as yours." Tina commented.
"That's what she got from her daddy," Rachel said not meeting anyone's eyes and kissing her baby's temple.
"Who is the daddy?" Quinn asked everyone looked at Rachel. Gemma pointed at Puck and screamed "DADA,"
Rachel laughed and buried her face in her baby's neck so they wouldn't see her panic, "Not quite baby girl," Rachel muttered, she hadn't lied, Rachel knew for sure the baby's dad was Noah, she just wasn't going to tell Noah when he was Puck, which he had been since Rachel was 14. "Her father doesn't matter, never been there for her, he use to be there for me, but not really since I was 14,"
"Can I… I mean would you mind if I… hold her?" Puck asked. Rachel passed her daughter to her father. "Sure."
As soon as Gemma was in his arms she squealed happily and started giggling. Rachel noticed how gentle Puck was with Gem and it made her think about what it would have been like if he knew?
"She's beautiful," Puck smiled, "just like her mum."
Rachel blushed, "thank you."
"C'mon baby, s'cool, no one can see us," Noah mumbled against Rachel's lips, gently nipping at her bottom lip, Rachel giggled, "Okay, but over my top," she kissed him back, muffling the groan that came from the back of Noah's throat as he squeezed Rachel's left breast into the palm of his hand. "So good baby, I love your body,"
Rachel moaned at the sensation of Noah slipping his hand up her top and cupping her breast now with only her bra in the way. Noah could see he hesitance in her eyes, after all they knew each other better than anyone. "S'okay baby, you're beautiful, you're perfect,"
When Rachel went to bed that night she was smiling and she knew that the smile she was wearing was a special smile, one only one boy brought out of her. It was Noah's smile.
The next morning she woke up to her phone ringing, she sleepily pulled it to her ear. "Hello,"
"Wake up sleepy bones," Noah.
"Puck?…Hi." She pulled herself out of bed and towards the bathroom.
"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted a lift to school?" Puck asked hopefully.
"Uh I have to take Gem to the day care centre before school," "You're having a piss aren't you," Rachel quickly pulled her panties back up and flushed the toilet. "Might have been." She heard Puck chuckle, "Well I'm ready so I'll come with you, what time do you need to leave?"
Rachel took her phone away from her ear, "FUCK! Like 10 minutes ago," She heard a knock at the door. She ran down stairs and opened it, very surprised to see Noah standing there shutting his phone.
"Hi," Rachel said before realizing she was just in a thin cotton tank top and light blue panties. She bolted up the stairs, "I'll be down in a minute."
Puck shut the door and sat down in the kitchen, chuckling as he heard Rachel muttering 'Lazy baby, you were meant to wake me,' before she appeared in the doorway with a half a wailing baby in her arms (and now clad with sweats, which Puck wasn't sure was a good thing or a bad thing). Rachel put Gemma in a highchair and started getting her breakfast ready. Gemma had started staring at Puck like she had the day before.
"So.." Rachel said sitting down and starting to feed Gemma and drink a cup of coffee, "Why did you wanna give me a lift this morning?"
Puck got up, getting his own cup of coffee and leaning on the breakfast bar.
"I've gotta be honest.. Well you know we… like we were… shit, I d'know Berry, I just…" Rachel cut him off, "Puck come on it's me,"
Puck sighed, Rachel's words had calmed him down.
"Rach," Noah pulled away from her and stopped the rhythm of his hips with hers. Rachel growled at the loss of friction, "Yes?" Noah pecked her lips, his hand running up her side, making her shudder, "I.. well… y'know.. Baby, I.. uh," He hung his head, "Noah," Rachel whispered making him look up into her gorgeous chocolate pools, "Noah come on it's me," Noah saw how sincere she was, and she was right, it was her. "Baby y'know I love you right," Rachel nodded her head, "And I love you too." Noah smiled at this and pinched her bare ass, making her squeal, "Alright, back to business,"
"I just miss you, I guess," Puck said rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the floor.
"You wanna know who I miss?" Rachel asked not looking away from Gemma, "I miss Noah, you may know of him, he looks just like you," She glanced down and then muttered "but he loves me." She didn't think Puck had heard her but she was wrong.
"Yeah he does," Puck whispers. She doesn't hear him because she doesn't respond. But he knows she does, he knows her well enough to see the slight stiffen in her back and tiny intake of breath.
"Do you think you could get her dressed for me?" Rachel asked after wiping Gemma's face.
"Mmmhmm," He follows Rachel up the stairs. He gets Gemma dressed in what he thinks is a badass yellow onezy, a pair of dark blue jeans and a pink t-shirt that says 'baby berry' on it. He tops it off with red sock and a red hat. Rachel comes back in in a pair of tight jeans and red top. "Oh my god do you have any dress sense?" Rachel laughed.
"Rach, why did you let me in?" Rachel looks at him, he hasn't called her that in a long while, 'Rach' he use to call her that or 'baby'.
"I'll always let you in Noah," she smiled, his smile and it made Puck's heart melt.
They decided to take Rachel's car because it already had Gemma's car seat in it.
"Hey Rachel, how are you?" Martha asked. Rachel smiled.
"Better thank you," Rachel smiled, she noticed Martha glancing at Puck, "Oh this is Puck, he's…" Rachel trailed off, she was so use to saying 'Noah, my best friend' or 'Noah my boyfriend' now he was Puck and was he even a friend. Puck saw the look on her face it meant she didn't know what to say, he could practically hear the cogs in her brain going into over drive. "I'm her friend," Puck finished off for her.
"Oh right well hello Puck, anyway Rachel, there's a single parent play date on the 6th, if you were interested in attending," Martha said.
"I don't think I'll go I'm always the youngest person there and people always look at me funny," Rachel sighed.
"Well at least think about it, I'll be there,"
"Okay, anyway we better go, I've gotta get to school, I'll pick her up early because I've got a free last period," Rachel put the baby down you one of the mats, "Bye baby girl I love you" she said kissing her daughters cheek.
The car ride to school was silent after that, when they got to school, Puck was rubbing the back of his neck, Rachel knew he was about to say something, she guessed along the lines of 'well this hasn't be fun, I won't be seeing ya' but instead he said, "I've got a free last period too, you wanna meet at your locker and I'll come with you to get the squirt?"
"O okay," Rachel stuttered.
Rachel felt some hope, it was finally her Noah. That boy she loves so much is back. But when they walk into school together that's when she realized the truth. First comes the comment "Pucky boy's with that? If he even looks at her it must mean she's crazy in bed," that's when Puck tenses. Then comes the question, "Puck are you two really an item?". Then what Rachel hopes wouldn't happen, Puck jumps away from her, "What? Fuck no, course I'm not!" he says looking at her in disgust, but she sees the sorrow in his eyes, it's just a shame he doesn't care enough to actually be with her… in public. Then finally the slushy, all over Rachel, dripping down her shirt and soaking her head to toe.
"Goodbye.. Puck," Rachel says, looking him in the eye, she sees the flash of hurt in them because of her calling him 'Puck' again, but she doesn't care, he's hurt her more than she could ever tell him anyway. So she turns her head and doesn't let herself cry until she's in the bathroom rinsing her hair and changing her clothes.
At lunch she rushes into the cafeteria to grab some lunch, her plan was to skip her next class and go and go home for a good cry before she gets Gemma. But she's stopped by a pair of muscular arms encasing her, it's not him. She looks up to see Finn smiling down at her.
"Hey," she says.
"I've missed you," he says, where have I heard that before? "Listen Rachel, I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight?"
"Uh.." why did she feel guilty, she had absolutely nothing to feel guilty for, "What would we do?"
"Go to the movies or something?" Finn asked. Rachel realized he was still holding her so she gentle stepped back.
"Okay, pick me up at 6?" Rachel smiled her fake smile. Finn nodded and kissed her cheek. As she turned to look at Finn walking away her eyes locked with and intense pair, a pair of eyes the identical hazel colour as her daughters. She was the first to look away.
She was dragged to class by Brittney, who had become her best friend for 2 years now. She sat down next to the blonde.
"Listen shortcake," Rachel interrupted her with laughter at the blondes new nickname for her, "Shortcake, where did that come from?" Rachel giggled.
"Well," Brittney said matter of factly, "You're very short and Puck told me you taste like cake icing down below, so shortcake is the perfect name." Rachel blushed deeply and glanced behind her at the hazel eyes that seem to always be on her.
"How many times have I told you to stop asking him weird question?" She hissed.
"Just because you still love him. Anyway as I was saying I heard you have a date with Finn later?" Brittney said.
"I suppose I do," Rachel said, she opened her book ready to take notes.
"OMG THIS IS SO EXITING FINNCHEL RETURNS!" Brittney shouts so everyone can hear.
"BRITT! HE DIDN'T EVEN CALL IT A DATE AND DON'T CALL IT FINNCHEL IT'S SAD!" Rachel matches Brittney's shouts.
"Sorry but its just to cute, SHORTCAKE!" Brittney shouts the last part.
Rachel blushes when she realizes Puck probably knew the meaning of her nickname and heard everything they said.
After class Puck follows her to her car, she doesn't tell him to get lost or anything else for that matter simply stays silent as he slips into the car next to her then pulls out of the car park.
When she picks Gemma up they still haven't said a word. But when they get to Rachel's house and he follows her in he finally starts talking.
"So you and Finn huh?" He asks as Rachel puts Gemma into her travel crib in the living room.
"Uh, yeah I guess so."
"Why?" Puck is looking at her like a jealous boyfriend. But she doesn't let herself feel bad about it.
Because he's your best friend. Rachel thinks, "Why not? There's no one else."
Puck wants so badly to just say me and then claim her as his, kiss her until she can't breath and mark her neck but he doesn't. He just sits down on the couch and doesn't look at her. After and hour of watching T.V in silence, it finally gets to much for her.
"Why are you here Puck?" She asked. He doesn't reply, just shrugs. "I don't want you here if you're gunna be nasty to me at school Puck, you can't have it both ways,"
"C'mon Berry you know what it's like at school. I'm popular. But I still care about you," Noah said, Rachel feel the hurt wash over her, followed by rage.
"Rach, I don't think we can hang out at school together anymore," Noah says still panting in bed next to her. Rachel suddenly feels self conscious, like she never has with him before and pulls the sheet over her naked body. "What? Why?"
"Y'know how it is, I'm finally popular." Noah said looking over at Rachel, who now have tears in her eyes. "But I still care about you," Noah said kissing her forehead.
"Get out," Rachel said.
"C'mon baby, don't do this," He says getting up and pulling his boxers on.
"I mean it Puck, GET THE FUCK OUT," she creamed, tears streaming down her face. Noah pulls up his pants and pulls his shirt over his head.
"The fuck you calling me Puck for?"
"Because you're not acting like Noah right now," Rachel says through her tears.
"Get out," Rachel says quietly, so quietly Puck has to ask her to repeat it.
"I said get out."
"So we're back here are we? Puck asks, standing off the couch.
"As long as you keep acting like Puck then yeah I guess there's no going past here," Rachel said, facing back to the T.V.
"Y'know what? screw this," Puck says slamming the door on his way out, making Gemma wake up and start wailing.
"Great… just great," Rachel said getting up to are for her child.
Her date with Finn was okay, she let him kiss her when he dropped her off at her house. Even though his lips were too soft and innocent.
The next day she took Gemma to glee again after school, Puck had been ignoring her all day. Finn had been sweet but she didn't like him, not in that way anyway. They were all dancing except Brittney who was holding Gemma. Suddenly Puck was behind Rachel. Grinding up against her back, placing a possessive hand on Rachel's stomach.
"Back off Puckerman." Finn said harshly.
"Oh please, she loves a bit of grinding," Puck said, and he was right it always got Rachel hot. Suddenly Puck was pushed back and the music had stopped, all eyes on the three.
"And how the hell would you know?" Finn said. Rachel could tell Puck was about to punch him, so she stood in front of him hands on his chest and eyes on his. Puck looked straight into he big doe eyes, "Because I know her,"
"Oh please you don't know her like I do Puck!" Finn shouted trying to defend Rachel. Puck was beyond pissed by now he clenched his fists and looked at Finn. "You think you know her so well? Do you know that she had 2 freckles on her left ass cheek? A heart shaped birthmark next to her right nipple? A scar at the top of her right arm because she had a freckle they thought was cancerous so they chopped a triangle out of her? Do you know how to tell between her show tears and her real tears? Do you know how to tell between the way she blushes when she's angry and the way she blushes when she's mad? Do you know what to whisper in her ear when she's mad? Do you know how to rub her back when she sad? How when you kiss her she writes her name with her tongue on yours? How straight after her first time having sex she asked if we could go again then rolled over and fell asleep? How about that she's ticklish behind her left knee but not her right? Or when she wants to say something but can't she bites her lip and glances at you for hours until you tell her to spit it out? Do you know the right place on her side that turns her on when you nip it? Do you know that she swears a lot when she comes? Do you know how to find that one spot on the left side of her neck that drives her crazy? Do you know to not let her buy the big drink at the movies however much she pouts or you'll end up waiting outside the bathroom for her nearly half the movie? Do you know that she got the scar on her forehead because we were making-love in the shower and she slipped and hit her head? Do you know how to catch the emotion in her eyes that's there for two seconds before she builds her walls back up? Do you know how to hold her at night - how she likes to have one leg chucked over you in her sleep? Do you know…" Puck finally realized how much he'd been babbling… but it was Rachel so he decided to finish of that last sentence before giving her one last glance and walking out, "How much I love her?"
"You and… Puck?" Finn asked angrily. Rachel was staring after Noah… her Noah. Crying as all the memory's flooded back. And her loves her.
"No… me and Noah," Rachel whispers running after him, "Britt, I'll get Gem later," she shouted over her shoulder.
When Rachel caught up with him, he was crying, all she could do was pull him down for a kiss. It was just as amazing as it was years ago. Prefect.
"I love you too."
"Berry you lied to me," Noah said. "Get off," he pushed her away, "You fucking lied to my you two faced little bitch."
"Excuse me!" Rachel said astonished by the way he was treating her.
"She's my daughter and you didn't fucking tell me," He shouts.
"No you're not!"
"Then who is? Because I know you've only slept with me," Puck was getting so angry, he'd done the math, 10 months add 9 months ago, they were together. Not to mention how the baby's eyes match his. "How do you know?" tears began collecting in her eyes again. "Who's the dad Berry?" "The father is the boy I was in love with since I was seven and he told me I wasn't allowed to kiss the other boys, the boy who told me I was pretty and hugged me the first day I got bullied. The boy who was my first kiss, my first touch, my first everything. The boy who said I was beautiful and special every day, who told me I was his always. I'd realized I'd lost that boy when I was 14 and he convinced me to have sex with him in my garage in the middle of the night and afterwards slapped my ass and told me I was a better booty call than Santana. Noah is my baby's daddy, Noah would have been there for me and her with every step, who treated me like his favourite person in the world. And as for that other guy Puck, I don't want anything to do with him, he broke my heart, he made me feel cheap and when I started to show he through a slushy in my face any told me I was getting a little flabby and would never get a boy now, Puck told me I was worthless everyday, except when I was stupid enough to sleep with him when I wanted to know if Noah existed anymore and he wouldn't even say my name or call me his baby anymore, it was always, babe or tease." Rachel took in a huge breath to try and calm the tears, "So no, Puck you're not my baby's daddy, my baby's daddy left me just like his father left him,"with that Rachel ran back into school, leaving a stunned looking Puck standing there.
Puck: we need 2 tlk, plz
Puck: cmon, txt me bk
Puck: getting stypid now. Rach I want to know my daughter
Puck: let me in
With that last text Rachel shut her phone off and looked out the window, sure enough, there he was waiting on her front door step, he looked at her through the window. Fine, if he wants to do this we can. Rachel thought opening the front door for him and making her way back to the couch, sure he would follow her. She heard the front door close and Puck toeing off his shoes. Then he was standing over the travel crib in the living room, staring at his daughter in awe. "I don't understand." Puck stated quietly. "What?" Rachel asked not looking up from the T.V. "How I can love her so much when I've only known her a few days." Rachel looked up at him, he looked sincere and confused and amazed at the same time. He plopped down next to Rachel on the couch and looked at her.
"So when did you find out?" he put his hand on her knee.
"When I was 3 months pregnant, we'd broken up," Rachel clarified, glancing at Gemma who was sighing in her sleep.
"Did you ever try to tell me?" Puck asked. Rachel was silent for a moment before nodding and checking the time on the T.V. "I better get her bottle ready, she'll wake up in about 10 minutes," Rachel said gesturing for Puck to follow her into the kitchen. Puck lent against the island before watching as Rachel got the formula ready and put it in the microwave. "As soon as I found out I called you 6 times and you sent me to voicemail every time then I texted you saying we need to talk and you texted me back saying 'ef off Berry, I don't want you' I didn't try again after that until she was born and you told me I looked like crap and chucked a slushy in my face," Rachel turned away from him. "Rach… I-" Puck was cut off by her phone ringing.
"Hi daddy…yes, we're fine how are you?…oh okay, I'm not going to school tomorrow anyway…yes…no I don't mind at all…daddy, we'll be fine…what day are you coming back?…okay…have a good time, tell dad I love him…see you Wednesday love you too…bye," Rachel hung up as the microwave dinged. She took the bottle out and began shacking it.
"Are they really staying away until Wednesday, leaving you here alone with Gemma?" Puck asked, concerned.
"I'm quite capable of looking after myself and my daughter alone Noah," Rachel walked back into the living room with Noah on her heels. Puck caught her by the wrist when they got there, "You called me Noah," he smiled. Rachel sat down in her place on the couch, "Well you're acting like Noah at the moment."
"Mooooooommmmmmyyyyy" Gemma yelled as loud as she could from her crib. Puck immediately went over and picked her up carefully, "Kids got timing," he smiled sitting on the couch with Gemma, who was now staring at him with red rimmed eyes, on his lap. "No she's got a routine," Rachel said drinking some of the formula milk out of the bottle and handing the bottle to her daughter who started drinking whilst looking at Puck. "Well I think she likes you," Rachel laughed. "Do you think she knows who I am?" Puck asked. Rachel considered it for a moment. "Well she's never called anyone else Dada and I tell her about you sometimes." "DADA," Gemma screeched chucking her bottle at her mother and flipping herself over so she could look at Puck better. Puck laughed and blew a raspberry on her cheek making the little girl giggle. Rachel shook the bottle again before handing it back to Gemma.
A little while later when Gemma was back asleep Puck and Rachel were up in her room. Laying on their stomach's on Rachel's bed.
"What do you tell her about me?" he asks.
"I tell her about the boy who loved me. I tell her that he would have sung to her and would have loved me and her more than anything else in the world and how she would've had her daddy wrapped around her little finger even more than I did when he loved me," Rachel said a tear slipping down her cheek.
"Rachel, I've always loved you and I always will. I can't take any of it back but I would if I could. And you know I'm no good with words but I wanna be here for both of you now and I wanna prove to you that I'm sorry," Puck said pushing Rachel's hair out of her face.
"I missed you Noah," Rachel cries harder. Puck put him arms around her.
"Please baby stop crying," he kissed her temple, "You know I hate it when you cry," Rachel burry's her head into his chest, she's missed this a lot, he still smells like her Noah. Puck does the only think he knows what stops her crying, he runs one hand up the back of her tank top, and traced lazy patterns into the soft skin of her love handles.