Hey there!

For some reason I got up really early, even though it's Saturday and then this random idea hit me.

It deals with Ziva's feelings, because I'm getting reeeeaaaalllly frustrated with Season 9. The Housekeeping episode gave me my hopes back and I've never been as emotional while watching TV as I have during

*SPOILER ALERT*And then I read some spoilers about Wendy coming back and Tony having feelings for her! WHAT? NO!*END OF SPOILER*

So I had to write this to get some of that off my chest. It's a bit different from the humorus stuff I usually write, but I quite like it (;

Hope you'll enjoy and please leave a review! :)

Disclaimer: They're not mine, because if they were you'd see this stuff on TV and wouldn't be reading it.

Sitting there in the light from the morning sun, which was shining through her window and brightening the room, she was deep in thoughts...what if they never got together...what if her dreams were just that?...dreams? It broke her heart to think that. Why did things have to be that complicated? In the movies it was easy. The princess in distress was rescued by the knight in his shining armour and they lived happily ever after. In Reality the knight rescued the princess, falling utterly and completely in love with her, but the princess built a wall around her heart, so no one could come too close and break it, break her. But he fights. Fights with all his heart to get through to her, to make her believe that she's worth everything, that she's the reason he's still breathing and that she is allowed to love him back. And deep down she knows that.

But still she flees into the arms of another man, a duke from a faraway kingdom who is only seldom around. And who isn't there cannot hurt you, right? Wrong. He hurts her, breaks her trust on so many levels, and leaves her broken. But not alone. Her knight is still there, seizing his chance. It might be the last one. But he won't get her by fighting her wall. He'd have to try to make her tear it down herself, because otherwise she might misinterpret his behaviour as an attack and shut him out completely. And he was not going to let that happen. Determination set in, she saw something change in the way he looked at her, not hiding anything anymore, baring his soul to her. This obvious display of trust and...affection made her wonder if maybe they would get together after all. Because maybe it was meant to be from the beginning. Maybe everything that had happened to them happened for a reason. 'No such thing as coincidence', a familiar voice huffed in her head.

But what if she was all wrong about the signs? What if it only was her heart playing a trick on her like the last time, when she had fallen for him while he'd been in love with someone else? The memories nearly crushed her heart and she noticed that her safely put up walls had already started to crumble, to let him in, to let him close. And she didn't regret it, not at all, but it scared her. Because there were rules against it, against her dreams. Was he worth the trouble of breaking them? Yes. Undoubtedly. So why was she still sitting in her room, wondering about 'what ifs' if she could have everything her heart yearned for? Cowardice had never been something to fit her character...

She replayed the last couple of months in her head, thinking of every conversation she'd had with him, every innocent (or not so innocent) touch they had shared, every glance they'd exchanged. When she found herself smiling at the memories, something clicked in her brain. Oh. OH! He really loved her. With all her scars and issues and insecurities, he still loved her. And there was no more use in denying that she loved him back. After all the years not a thing had changed for her heart.

But it had for her brain. The adventurous side of her yelled for her to run out and tell him, to give him everything he wanted...and get everything she wanted in return. But her cautious side was more dominant and it told her to just let things be like they were, to ignore a possible THEM. This inner fight went on and on, frustrating her to no end and leaving her broken. She wasn't strong enough to keep her hopes up. Maybe forgetting him would be good, maybe ignoring her feelings and his feelings would be for the best...

But there was that silent but persistent voice again, that told her that yes, maybe it was for the best, but maybe - and her heart really wanted her brain to consider that option - just maybe it could be the start of a new beginning for THEM. Something that would make her life brighter.

Just then a quiet knock sounded at her door and when she got up to see who was there, excitement welled up in her belly, because she had a faint idea who it might be. And as ridiculous as the feeling was, she enjoyed it and smiled when she opened the door, revealing her knight - without his armour but handsome nonetheless, she had to admit - leaning against the doorframe and looking up at her with a small smile. The one he only held for her. She stepped aside and let him in, no words needed to understand what he wanted. As she settled back down on the couch, barely a foot away from him, handing him a cup of coffee, she felt a familiar feeling of belonging. Not wanting to give in to her heart's desires yet, she turned her eyes on the TV, curious about what his choice had fallen onto. But she couldn't concentrate. She felt his gaze heavy on her face and watched him from the corner of her eye. The look in his eyes, soft and full of longing, made her change her mind. She looked back at him, wearing the same expression and when he held his arm out in an invitation, she didn't hesitate to scoot a little closer and let her head rest on his shoulder. Somewhere into the middle of the film she felt his fingers start to play with her hair, relaxing her further and settling her final decision.

It had been a hard battle her brain and heart were fighting, but she knew one thing: There wasn't a better feeling than that of a victorious heart.

Liked it? Review? Please?

- sorry for any mistakes, I wrote this at 7 a.m. and my english isn't the best in the morning ;D