Title: Ocean of Debris
Author: indehed
Fandom: Eastenders
Pairing: Christian/Syed
Warnings/Spoilers: continuation from my previous stories 'Burning in the Skies', 'Beating of the Storm' and 'Swimming in the Smoke'. Please assume spoilers apply through current storylines/time. These fics veered off from show canon at the Queen Vic Fire of September 2010. Notably, the baby swap did not happen, nor the AB roof collapse, though many other events have. Hopefully it will be obvious which did and didn't! This story portrays a canon homosexual relationship between two men,
Notes: Thanks to Madworld_NES for the beta!
Summary: Syed is in trouble when a stranger arrives in Walford with revenge on his mind. Meanwhile, friends and family gather around Christian as he struggles to cope with a growing agoraphobia that leaves him feeling useless in the face of disaster.
"Christian, we're out of milk!" Syed shouted, while staring into the fridge.
Christian came out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of running trousers and towelling his hair dry. "So go get some."
Syed shoved the fridge door closed, leaned against the pillar and stared at Christian. "You go."
"Sy..."
"Christian," Syed moved forward, grabbed the towel from Christian and threw it aside so he could take Christian's hands in his own. "It's been weeks. And I'm not even sure if we should even count your little trip to the Argee Bhajee or not."
"I know, Sy, I know but..."
"You're doing so much better. You're sleeping, the nightmares have stopped since we got into the new routine and maybe soon we can start to ease back on it," Syed noticed Christian's worried face, "I said ease back... but only when you... when we're ready."
Christian dropped Syed's hands, his shoulders slumping as he made his way to the sofa and sat down with a bump. "I'm sorry, I just... I can't."
Syed took a breath before going to sit next to Christian, pulling his hand into his again. "A few years ago, I was able to get you over this; I just want to do that again."
Christian dropped his gaze to their joined hands. His other stroked the back of Syed's hand as he considered his next words. "That time... you remember when you made me go out to the Minute Mart? The bribery?"
"Don't knock it, it worked."
"No... it didn't. Not really." Christian looked up into Syed's confused face. "Well, it did, I mean... I went out and I was able to go out again after, and I got to have you to myself all night but... you have no idea how hard it was."
"I saw you, Christian. I know it was hard..."
"No... it... you saw me when I was out forcing a smile, but when I got home I practically collapsed just inside the door. Not just that first time either, but a couple more times too. My heart was racing, my legs went weak, I just felt so... terrible."
"You never told me."
"I never wanted to worry you. You had problems of your own."
"Christian..." Syed put his hand around the back of Christian's neck.
"I'm scared, Sy. I don't want to go through that again."
Syed couldn't really say anything else, so instead he pulled Christian's head forward and their foreheads collided together, with them both just staying in the moment.
"It's okay. I'll get the shopping." Syed nodded against him and Christian gave him a weak smile. "Maybe you should see Annabel again this week? Although maybe we should consider whether you need any extra help with the anxiety. You know... medication?"
Christian still hadn't told Syed about the sleeping pills he was taking. He'd kept them hidden well so far and he didn't want Syed to worry about him. He was much happier recently. Both of them were smiling more, feeling like they were back on track. It would be like everything was fixed if it wasn't for this, hopefully, last hurdle of Christian's. He didn't want to put anything else on Syed's mind and besides, it wasn't that big a deal anyway.
"I don't know," Christian said, well aware of his current medication, and he was pretty sure that even his limited medical knowledge would say not to mix drugs together.
"We could ask Yusef."
"Yeah, maybe."
Yusef was the only one who knew about them, this could be his way out. Maybe Yusef could give him something that wouldn't react with the sleeping pills.
"It would only be for a short while, just a little help to get you started, and you'd be off them quickly. You really would."
"I know." Christian felt guilty all of a sudden. Right now he'd been popping extra sleeping pills and he'd been doing so for longer than he'd meant to already but they were working, and why stop when it was all working?
"Look, I need to get round to the Estate Agents. They've got someone who wants to see the restaurant, looks like a proper potential buyer so I'll get some shopping on the way back, okay?"
"Sure."
Syed leaned in and gave Christian a peck on the lips before squeezing his hand and rising from the sofa. Christian watched him as he moved about, grabbing what he needed for the day, and felt guilty that he wasn't helping out more. He wanted to get over this; he just had a mental block and was struggling.
Syed shook the man's hand. He was the first to break eye contact with him, as the other seemed to be sizing him up, which made him feel a little uncomfortable. It reminded him of his days in property when he was 'one of those' people. When he met people like it he always just felt relieved to not be so fake anymore.
The man stood in a fitted grey suit, with a blue tie and quite long blond hair that touched the nape of his neck. "Kyle Hemersley," he said.
"Syed Masood, pleased to meet you."
The Estate Agents took over for the most part as both sat with them and discussed the property in more detail. Syed talked when he needed to, and did his best to talk up the property despite its current state. Hemersley seemed keen, and after discussions they decided to take a walk to the Argee Bhajee itself and have a look so that he could decide a bit better based after having seen the space.
Syed took a breath before following them through the door. The last time he was in here was to rescue Christian from his panic attack. Before then he'd barely been in since the fire itself. He had told Christian they should sell it so that Christian didn't have to face the place but it was a convenient excuse because he didn't want to face it either. He didn't like it in here, and he doubted he ever would again. Considering how they got the place originally, he would sell it for five pence, happily. Not that he'd let on to potential buyers about that, but he really wasn't worried about making sure they made a lot of money from it. Whatever they did get was a bonus now.
"It's a shame about what happened here."
"Yes," Syed answered.
"I read about it in the papers. To have someone die on the premises of your business can't have been pleasant."
"It really wasn't."
"Of course," Hemersley answered curtly, then carried on. "It's none of my business, but why sell up? You could collect on the insurance and begin again."
"We could. But we have another business to run that we plan on concentrating on."
"We?"
"Yes, my fiancé and myself."
"In business with family," Kyle nodded.
"We make it work," Syed said. "Very well, as a matter of fact."
"Sign of a strong relationship. Risky though, to only have the one business. If it goes under, you both do."
"We still have other interests."
"Good to know. But like I said before, none of my business," Kyle smiled as he held his hands up - not wanting Syed to take anything the wrong way, Syed mused. He most likely wanted to keep on Syed's good side so as to help the sale. What Kyle didn't realise was that Syed would sell to Phil Mitchell right now and not give two hoots.
Syed let the Estate Agents finish up with Kyle, going over the details of square footage and other technicalities that he didn't have the heart in him to bother with for the hard sell. Instead, he took his leave and headed home to check on Christian. He had a visit from the Doctor planned for this afternoon and if he was there too, he might be able to talk to them both about getting Christian to move on from this and get outside again.
He didn't notice that Kyle kept an eye on him until he was completely out of sight.