Fanfiction by Ray. You'll see more of me... Mwahaha!

Mommy is soft.

I knew that ever since I was little. I wasn't a loud child, not one for making trouble or annoying people. Daddy would always get mad at me if I was too loud. Mommy needed to rest. Late at night, if I was too loud earlier, or if Daddy had yelled at me, I would come see Mommy to apologize. One night, when I was nine, Daddy left us all alone. I stayed up all night as she stroked my hair, sitting beside her bed with my arms wrapped around my knees., and my goggles around my neck.

"I'm sorry Mommy." I told her over and over again, every time she cried. "I'm sorry." She touched my shoulder and said,

"I love you Mail." and she stopped crying. Mommy stopped moving. I guess I did too. Eventually, the police found us. They told me Mommy was gone. At first, I didn't get it. My Mommy was right there. She was so close I could touch her. But eventually, it hit. And a few weeks after that, I joined Wammy's.

I didn't speak, but the three men with me, Rodger, L and Watari were happy when I got the answers right on my tests. Rodger brought me and my bag to a room and introduced me to my room-mate. I hadn't had any friends or siblings, and I didn't want to talk, so I went straight to bed. I thought about maybe talking to my room-mate in the morning.

When I woke up, my room-mate was sitting on the floor with a bunch of papers and books. I sat beside him with my arms around myself and read his book, noticing wrong answers but still not saying anything. He was very focused, and I could look at him easily.

He had blond hair and pretty blue eyes. He was dressed in all black. He glanced up at me a few times, but didn't say anything, he just glared and frowned more and more before bursting out,

"What are you looking at? Have a problem with my face?" I curled up in a ball and shook my head vigorously, trying not to cry. He glared at me hard for a moment, but his face softened eventually. "Sorry. I'm not good with people. Just try not to stare, okay? It's rude." I nodded nervously, and he closed his book and sat in a different position, with his legs stretched out beside me. "Did they give you a new name?" he asked. I nodded. "Mine's Mello." he said softly. I just looked at him. After a moment of silence, he said, "You must be hungry. Want some food?" I shrugged, and he stood up, holding a hand out to help me up. I looked up at him and he said, "We go to a different room to eat." I took his hand and got up, and followed him to eat breakfast.

I put on my too-big goggles as we got closer to the noise of the dining hall. I knew it was called that because I read the sign. Mello looked at me every few minutes, making sure I was still there. I kept my hands in my pockets, looking down. I sat with Mello and looked at my food, staying silent. Mello talked to me about classes and yelled at someone for making fun of my hair. I got up and started walking back our room, but got lost, so I sat on the floor with my back against the wall and stared at my feet. Mello found me and crouched in front of me, looking at me.

"Why do you wear those goggles?" he asked. I just looked at him. He sighed. "Will you at least tell me your name?" I looked around, making it clear that I didn't want to talk where someone else might hear me. He helped me up and we went to out room. Mello went back to his work and I sat with him again.

"Matt." I said quietly. His head snapped up.

"What?"

"They told me I was Matt." I held back tears, but failed, and pulled off my goggles, rubbing my eyes. "Where's my Mommy?" I asked. "She isn't really dead, is she? They're just pretending! I'll be better! I promise! Just please let me go home! I won't make any noise! Daddy can yell at me all day if he wants, just bring back my Mommy!" I started sobbing, and Mello tried to comfort me, I continued yelling, begging, sobbing, but he said he couldn't do anything. He left while I started screaming, and Watari came back with him, picking me up and bringing me to Rodger's office. Mello followed us quietly, looking scared.

I stopped yelling, but continued to cry softly while I waited for Rodger to come out and see me. When he came out, he motioned for me to come closer and he put a hand on my shoulder. He told Mello to come with us.

"Matt," he said when we got into a different room. "Your mother is dead. We can't find your father. But this is your home now. You're safe here." I sniffed and wiped my face with my sleeve.

"It's my fault." I said knowingly. "It's my fault Daddy left and that's why Mommy died. It's my fault she's gone."

"No it's not." he said calmly.

"YES IT IS! DON'T LIE TO ME! MOMMY SAID IT'S BAD TO LIE! I WAS BAD AND DADDY DIDN'T LIKE IT AND MOMMY DIED BECAUSE OF ME! I DID IT!" I started sobbing again and Rodger started saying something, but I only stopped crying when Mello touched my shoulder.

"My mother is dead too." he said gently. "I felt like it was my fault too, but it's not. And it's not your fault either." I looked at him for a minute, then tentatively stepped closer. He let me hug him. And we were friends ever since.