Let's talk about sparks, baby

What'sit: Starscream goes through puberty. Yegads.

Who'sit: Young!Starscream, Unhelpful!Skyfire, Stupid!Skywarp, Ladiesman!Thundercracker. So I had to take liberties with their personalities, gimme a break. It's not like the show bothered delving and developing either.

When'sit: A long, long time ago...when Optimus Prime was less of a fuddy-duddy and Decepticons were just really dumb kids with nothing better to do.

Whuhoh: Giant mini-robots get gay with each other. If that isn't your thing, please scurry away as quickly as possible now. If it is, then there is something wrong with you. *gets bonk'd by the hypocrisy brick*

Whatelse: Done in response to a request on the Transformers (Anonymous) Kink Meme.

It's not so anonymous anymore.

"Even the great and glorious (...*cough* yeah) second-in-command of the Decepticons had been young once. And even he had to go through puberty, including a full blast of hormones, morning arousals and strange dreams.

And who could have helped him through this time better than his schoolmate and partner Skyfire?

Yeah young!Screamer x young!Skyfire

rest is up to you 8D"

And this is where I come in. With an edited version. To make it slightly better.

Enjoy.

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The plea was said as a timid squeak.

"Skyfire...can I talk to you?"

The fact that the statement was ground out from the other's vocal processor in such a worrisome and pitiful tone should have been enough to snap the young bot out of his intense study of the effects of gravity on one's brain circuits. He and his test-subject, one very willing and already very logic-deprived Skywarp, were already on their 19th drop at who-knows-how-many cosmometers, and still the black-and-purple flier showed little to no signs of logic processor damage. Skyfire was absolutely fascinated, light-blue optics shining with childlike enthusiasm as Skywarp lurched out drunkenly from the latest crater he created, a goofy lopsided grin stretched across his face.

"That was amazing! 756.99321 cosmometers, and you've barely suffered a dent in your thinking process!" Skyfire squealed as Skywarp waddled his way over to him.

"That was nothing!" Skywarp said, waving his hand--that was his hand, right? The thing with the seven digits and singing teeth and covered in rainbow-colored enertine?--dismissively. "I say we do it from a higher place for the next one!"

"I concur!" Skyfire nodded enthusiastically.

"Skyfire?" The plea was expressed louder now and at a closer distance to the wee scientist. "Please...this is...really important..."

Still his request went ignored. Skyfire was far too busy watching Skywarp fly his way up further from the ground and crash his way down all in the name of science and youthful stupidity. Desperately, he reached out and touched Skyfire on the arm and shook it in an attempt to catch the white bot's attention. He was shrugged off as Skyfire screamed joyously at the smug-looking Skywarp from his position high above.

Seething was technically an organic thing, but that was certainly what Starscream was doing right now.

"Will you stop being so fraggin' stupid for one slaggin' minute and listen to me!!" he screeched as he punched the back of Skyfire's helmet, his fist connecting with the smooth surface with a resounding 'clang'.

"OW! Starscream, what was that for?!" Skyfire whined, turning around to give his best friend a pathetic but adorable little pout.

"Yeah, Screamy." Skywarp warped right next to them, an annoyed look on his face. "Me and Skyfire were just having some fun."

Starscream snorted, placing his hands on his hips. "Being stupid slag-heads? Riiight...anyways, beat it Skywarp, I need to talk to Skyfire. ALONE. It's important. Besides, shouldn't you be with Thundercracker?"

"He's on a date." Skywarp spat out bitterly. "With some smelly rich femmette...forgot her name...Thunderblast or something...anyways he ditched me for her so here I am so I might as well listen 'cos I got nothing better to do."

Skyfire agreed with a quick nod. "Come on Starscream, whatever it is I'm sure Skywarp ca--"

"If you're interested in hearing about how my hormonal circuits have suddenly begun heating at random intervals and hitting various peaks of spark pleasure at the most inappropriate times when I'm in recharge, then be my guest, because I'm sure that you'd be wondering about this wonderful little thing called 'Puberty' that you'll be experiencing with me very soon." Starscream drawled, optics narrowed and mouth drawn in a challenging scowl.

"Uh..."

"Awwwkkkwaaarrddd..."

"I...think I hear my mom calling. Skyfire, see you later. Starscream...good luck with that." Skywarp mumbled before transforming and flying off.

Starscream turned back to Skyfire. "Ready to listen now?"

---

TBC

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Some terms I made up on-the-fly explained:

Cosmometers: Made-up. Or not. I dunno.

Enertine: Energon + Ovaltine. The perfect drink for young bots growing up.

Femmette: A wee femme.