Title: If you only you knew
Author: Haileyfan1
Summary: Narcissa's soft spoken jealousy, Lily's flight and not-so-denial… they're innermost thoughts after the breakup, oneshot. Companion piece to "Hurt Beyond This" and "Costing You Your Only".
Rating: PG13
Warning: femslash
Author's Note: I really like this one, reviews are always, greatly appreciated
Hogwarts grounds, 7th year, Narcissa's soft spoken jealousy, Lily's flight and not-so-denial
Here you are. That red hair. That crimson and gold lion on your robes. Those sparkling green eyes. Those clean and neatly trimmed fingernails, even after a particularly tough Herbology lesson. That certain air of courage that seems to follow you wherever you go, and not the stupidly brave kind that seems to follow most Gryffindors, no, yours is different. Even your scent after a rough Quidditch practice, I love it all. I hold you close to me, like I used to, so many nights in the past. Breathing deeply, your scent intoxicates me and I want to hold you like this forever.
Here you are. Those long golden blonde locks. The green and silver serpent embroidered onto your robes. Those deep cerulean eyes. That comfort you give me, the warmth, the need that you fulfill within my body. The look of determination that graces your features. The ever present spark of mischief in your eyes. Behind the mask, the front, the pureblooded pride, is you, the you I know and I love every part of you. Holding me close to you now, I can feel your heartbeat growing ever more rapid as I snuggle up closer to you. The warmth of your body radiates through me, how I love this feeling and I never want to leave.
We break apart and my eyes meet yours, only they're not the ones I want to see...they never were. You stare back at me, your slick blond hair pulled into a small ponytail at the base of your neck.
"What are you staring at Narcissa?" you ask me, I shudder, your voice is not the warm soft voice of my beloved, not the one I long to hear these nights, your voice only finalizes that it is not her that I am holding onto and I don't want her to go away. Taking a deep breath, I miss her scent already. "Nothing Lucius." I answer, but my eyes are not on you, they are on the girl across the grounds, she is leaving the embrace of her new lover, Potter.
We break apart and my eyes meet yours, only they're not the ones I want to see...they never were. You stare back at me, your ruffled black hair sticking up in places it shouldn't.
"What are you staring at Lily?" you ask me, I cringe, your voice is not the semi-sweet voice of my love, the one who still holds my heart. It only finalizes that it is not her who is holding onto me and I don't want her to ever let go. I sigh. "Nothing James." I answer, but my eyes are not on you, they are on the girl across the grounds whose eyes meet mine for a brief second. Emerald clashes with Cerulean.
If only you knew.