A/N: Well, as you read in the description, these mini fics are what happens if someone actually tries one or more of the listed ideas in How to Annoy the Millefiore. This will make no sense if you haven't already read that.

This is chapter one in The Great Marshmallow Incident series. There will be one more chapter to this, telling what happens after, and if people like it I'll do more. Also, note that Byakuran will be rather OOC. Enjoy!

1. Tell him all the marshmallows in the world disappeared, and it's impossible to make more unless all red-heads die.

2. Tell him you know a special way to make them without red-heads dying, and say you'll only do it if he sits through five hours each of Barney and Sesame Street.

3. Laugh when he does so and tell him crazy psychopaths don't get marshmallows.

How to Annoy the Millefiore: The Great Marshmallow Incident

Part 1

"Byakuran-sama," Gamma said casually, walking up to where his boss was standing in the hall, looking out the window to where he was supervising the planting of new flowers in the Millefiore garden. Or stalking Shouichi, who was one of the ones doing the planting. Yeah, most likely stalking Shouichi.

"Yes, Gamma-kun?" Byakuran murmured, managing to tear one eye away from that perfectly rounded ass, that was currently stuck in the air as the fake sun funeral wreath leaned down to pick up something he'd dropped.

"All the marshmallows in the world disappeared, and it's impossible to make more unless all red-heads die," Gamma stated, keeping a straight face. He really should be hired to be an FBI agent.

Silence.

Utter silence.

Gamma had to close his eyes and open them twice, then pinch himself to make sure Byakuran was still indeed standing in front of him and hadn't fainted into a pile of misery on the floor. Two more minutes and he probably would, judging from that death-pale face that matched the color of his evil-albino hair on his evil-albino head. Gamma suddenly wondered what color Byakuran was down there. Oh well, he wasn't desperate enough to try and find out. Maybe he'd pay someone to do it for him. Or just ask Genkishi to find out, since he doubted the illusionist would need any money to convince him. Gamma shook his head in revulsion. But anyway, back to Byakuran who was still standing there, his mouth opening and closing silently like a puppet as he tried in vain to get words out. Probably couldn't find any to express the anguish he felt.

"Tell… me… you're… joking…"

Gamma sighed. Seriously? When did he ever joke? But instead of telling Byakuran of that, he decided to just get on with it, since he didn't have all day to spend here. He needed to bathe and polish his pool stick. Then tuck it in for the night.

"No, I'm not joking." The blond crossed his arms over his chest and stared deeply into Byakuran's eyes, which he just realized, were a rather nice shade of purple. No, not the point here!

"Please… is there… any other… way…?" The all-great Millefiore leader looked like he was going to have a heart attack right on the plush purple carpet with white polka dots and the random chibi dragon.

That really wouldn't be good for Gamma's reputation. Although he finally would have completed his goal of getting rid of the albino…

No, his reputation came first. A full-on bloody battle would get him much more points.

"Well… there is one way," Gamma replied, and watched as Byakuran's eyes lit up in pure delight.

"What? What is it? Tell me now!" The evil albino grabbed Gamma's hands tightly, practically in his face. Ew. He'd have to make sure to wash with extra anti- germ soap later.

"Well, it goes like this…."