A/N: I wanted to write about drug abuse and ended up with ear plugs. Go me. My first language isn't English, so please notify me if you come across anything weird.

Enjoy!


"Sonic, look out for that-"

"What?"


"He's got a gun- oh, never mind."

"What?"


"Want another chili-dog?"

"WHAT?"


"What?"

"I said," Tails repeated slowly and louder, "I think that you're going deaf, Sonic."

Sonic scoffed and finished the last bit of his hot coco. Ugh, plenty of left-over drab in this sip. He jumped up from his seat and got ready to race off, but a murmur from Tails stopped him. "What?" said Sonic, and Tails sighed.

"See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. I said that at normal volume, but you still didn't hear me. You need to go see a doctor. Now."

Sonic held up his hands in protest and walked back a few steps. "No way, you know me and doctors is like mixing Eggman with a diet."

Tails sighed again and downed his own coco before replying. Sonic impatiently tapped his foot to a rhythm only he heard. Inspiration hit Tails like always. "Fine, if you never want to listen to music again, be my guest." Sonic's eyes widened, and Tails knew he had him. "You never get to hear your own voice, or anyone else's for that matter. You won't hear enemies coming, nor Amy. Though for you that might be a perk. Then again, she can sneak up on you whenever she wants, since you won't hear her coming anyway. Or how about you never get to watch television without needing subtitles? Or-"

Sonic's shoulders slumped and his ears drooped, and Tails knew he had won. "I'll try to get you an appointment tomorrow. Stick around, Sonic, because this is important."


The mid-afternoon sunshine the next day found the hedgehog and fox waiting in the aptly named waiting room. Or rather, it tried to find them, because the waiting room was located inside a building. So it shone through the nearby window and hoped for the best.

"This won't involve needles, right?" asked Sonic for the fifth time, and Tails once again shook his head.

"No, this doctor is specialized in neck, throat and ear problems, and he'll check out your ears, so no needles," droned the fox. He felt like a roboticized version of himself.

Sonic fidgeted at his usual speed, which heated up the chair so much he got up and started pacing. Luckily the waiting room was empty, so nobody questioned why the famous Sonic the Hedgehog created a rut in the rug. The door to the waiting room opened and a female dog walked in, clutching a clipboard. She looked down at the paper clipped to the board.

"Mr. Hedgehog comma S? We're ready for you," she said in a way that suggested that she had said it a thousand times before. When she looked up, however, her brown eyes started to shine, and her dull tone disappeared in a freakishly high squeak. "Oh my, you are Sonic the Hedgehog," she said. She then saw the orange fox sitting in the uncomfortable seat. "And mr. Tails as well. It's an honor to meet you. Please, follow me."

The dog led them to the doctor's office, and when she opened the door a human male greeted them from behind a desk. Upon seeing the blue hedgehog and orange fox, he got up and extended his hand.

"Mr. Hedgehog, mr. Prower, welcome, I'm dr. Ruberts. Take a seat," he gestured towards the two chairs on the other side of the desk.

Sonic and Tails looked at each other. A human wasn't that rare anymore in this part of Mobius, but it was uncommon enough to be surprised by. Especially a human doctor with knowledge of the different sentient species roaming the planet.

"What can I do for you?" asked dr. Ruberts as the duo took a seat. Sonic pointed at Tails.

"According to Tails, I might be going deaf," he succinctly summarized the situation, and Tails nodded along before adding:

"We think it's caused be the explosions he's been near to and it might also have to do with the whistling of wind as he runs."

Dr. Ruberts steeped his fingers and hummed approvingly. "I see," he said. "And what makes you think that?"

Tails explained some of the recent situations where Sonic hadn't reacted to specific sounds or the way he now always asked for clarification in conversations. Meanwhile, Sonic checked out the room, looking for sharp pointy objects the doctor could potentially stab him with. The room smelled of disinfectant and held one of those doctor-beds, some white drawers and cabinets, a brown desk and a plush toy for children. Diagrams hung upon the wall showed the inner workings of the ear, mouth and nose of various species, and happy slogans tried to ascertain the reader as long as you kept away from loud noises, the world was an easy place to live in.

Sonic was pulled back to the conversation when the doctor got up from his seat.

"Alright, let's have a look and rule out the possibility of any disease infecting your ears. Please, take a seat on the bed."

"Right," said Sonic. He walked up to the bed and hopped on. The bed was built at human level, and Sonic felt silly sitting there with his legs dangling so high from the floor. Tails remained seated at the desk, but followed the doctor's every move with large eyes.

Dr. Ruberts whipped out a device from his breast pocket and Sonic instantly graded it on pointyness, in case dr. Ruberts decided to stab him with a needle. It scored a two out of ten.

"Hold still, please," said the doctor, and bent way too close for comfort, holding the device in front of his face. When he gripped Sonic's ear and pinched it Sonic yelped and pulled away, a frown on his face.

"Watch it, they're not supposed to detach," he said. The doctor apologized, leaning back.

"Terribly sorry, but I need to see into your ear canal to see what's going on, and to do that, you need to keep your ear still."

"I can do that," said Sonic quickly, but a wry grin entered the doctor's face.

"No, you can't," he said in a friendly voice. "I've had hedgehogs in my office before, you know."

Sonic wanted to pout, but also needed to maintain his 'cool' image. It had already received a dent from his sudden jerky movement at the doctor's hands. So this time he kept still, as hard as that was for him. He told the muscles in his head to shut up when they started screaming at him to flick his ear when the doctor gripped it, more gently this time.

Sonic stared at the doctor's clothes while the man's face hovered above his, making interested noises as he looked into Sonic's ear this way and that, softly pulling at the poor appendage. Sonic's other ear lay as flat as possible. This whole situation was very uncool.

"You'll feel a puff of air," said the doctor, and Sonic felt his eye twitch as he suppressed the instinct to pull away from the intrusion. Dr. Ruberts leaned back, and when Sonic wanted to slump from relief, the doctor moved to his other ear! The man plucked the ear from its folded position and began to examine it as well.

"Looking good, doc?" asked Sonic nonchalantly while rubbing his abused ear. Blood rushed through it in response to the not-so-gentle handling and it felt annoying, like a sudden and unwanted blush.

"It doesn't look like you have an infection," answered the doctor. Sonic kept suppressing the instinct to pull his head away from the manhandling. After way too long the doctor let Sonic's ear go and took a step back from the examination table. Sonic cupped the freed ear and started massaging it.

"So? What's the verdict?" asked Sonic impatiently when the doctor didn't immediately say it. He wanted to get out of there, far away from it all in as little time as possible.

"I don't see any signs of infection, but I did notice some scars on the inside of your ears. Remnants from your battles, I presume?"

Sonic shrugged, kicking his legs over the open space. "I guess. I've probably bled from them too, but I'm not sure. Tails?"

Dr. Ruberts turned to the fox, who nodded. "Remember that battle, about a year ago? You came home and scared me because you had a head wound you didn't even know about, and got blood everywhere. That one actually pierced your left ear, and you joked about putting a ring through it."

Sonic grinned. "I remember. I think I permanently stained that awful couch cushion that night."

"But what you're saying is," Tails tried to get the conversation back on track, "the cause for Sonic's hearing damage are the explosions?"

Dr. Ruberts held up his hands, still holding the otoscope in his hand. "It's a likely cause, but I'd like to rule out any other factors. But first, let's determine if you actually have hearing damage. My assistant will perform an auditory test to see if you have hearing damage, and in what range that lies."

Sonic nodded and hopped off the bed, while Tails got up from the chair. A second later the dog returned, still holding a clipboard. She gestured for them to follow her, and the duo temporarily bid goodbye to the doctor. The assistant sent Tails back to the waiting room and took Sonic for a series of tests, explaining that the tests would have to be as accurate as possible, and the presence of a third person in the room might distract him.

About twenty minutes later Sonic and Tails sat at the desk in the doctor's office, waiting for the man to finish analyzing the test results. Sonic told Tails about the tests, which, according to him, were a lot grander than they actually were.

"And then I got these earphones, but they didn't fit over my ears, so ms. Pavlov, that's the assistant's name by the by, got me new ones. Thankfully she got stylish ones, because the ones before looked so old they could've belonged to my grandma. If I had one, that is, And then-"

Dr. Ruberts cleared his throat and Sonic trailed off, swiveling his ears forward to not miss a word. The doctor held out a graph with one hand and rummaged in his desk with his other, until he encountered what he was looking for. It turned out to be another graph. Sonic's eyes immediately glazed over, but he shook his head to force himself to listen to the doctor. Dr. Ruberts laid the two graphs down on the table side by side, and indicated the left one.

"This is the result of your test. This one," he indicated the one on the right, "belongs to a healthy male hedgehog about your age. As you can see, they're different at this point." The doctor indicated a dip on Sonic's chart, right about the 3400HZ range. "Your hearing is fine otherwise, even better than it should be in the high range. But most conversation tones takes place in this range, and that's right where the damage is. You have so-called 'sensory hearing loss'."

Tails studied the graphs while Sonic looked up at the doctor and said apprehensively: "Can you fix it?"

Tails looked up too, a mixture of hope and fear written on his face.

Dr. Ruberts looked thoughtful. "I can't fix it," the duo sagged, but the doctor kept on talking, "but luckily for you, hedgehog hearing is more resilient than a human's. If you keep away from explosions and other loud noises, some or all of the damage can heal."

Sonic laughed humorlessly. "Tell that to Eggman," he said. "If you can keep him off our backs for… how long did you say it'd take?"

"I didn't. It'd take at least six months to a year for the hair cells in your ears to regrow."

"No dice." Sonic crossed his arms and leaned back, tipping the chair onto two legs.

"Then there's also the option of earplugs. Do you rely heavily on your hearing during battle?"

Sonic took a moment to think, but then nodded, while Tails shook his head. "I listen for badniks, the Tornado, though blocking out Eggman's rants might be nice."

"I thought you as you moved, you only heard the wind?" Tails looked confused when Sonic shook his head.

"Nah, lil' buddy, I still hear a lot when I'm running. It's distorted, but I've learnt to interpret the sounds."

"If you can't use earplugs either, I'm afraid I'm running out of options, besides prescribing you a hearing aid," said Dr. Ruberts.

"C'mon, Sonic," begged Tails, "at least try the earplugs before I have to learn sign language to communicate with you. I use them too when I work on the Tornado."

Sonic let the chair fall back on all four legs. "Fine, let's try that first."


"Are you alright, Sonic?" asked Tails in a tiny voice. An irritated voice answered in muffled oaths from the other side of the door, and when Sonic opened the door Tails worked hard not to laugh.

Sonic was dripping wet, his least favorite state of being aside of being dead, but still covered in patches of hot pink paint. He looked like the illegitimate love child of him and Amy. Even his beloved shoes were pink.

"These stupid ear plugs kept me from hearing Eggman's robot sneak up on me, and you saw what happened." Sonic threw the ear plugs with flourish into the bathroom bin. Tails meanwhile stepped into the bathroom and produced a bottle of clear liquid.

"Here, I brought some thinner. This should help get the paint off. Lucky you got dumped in that vat of water-based paint, otherwise we'd have to shave you."

Sonic scoffed and started taking off his ruined shoes. "I'd shave myself before I let Amy see me like this. My ear drums will burst for sure if she squeals like I think she'd do, me being all pink."

"Turn around," ordered Tails, and he started washing down the dried paint with the thinner. While his hands worked, his mind wandered. Sonic kept quiet as well, trying to come to terms with the dent to his pride.

"I've got it!" cried Tails suddenly, and Sonic nearly cut him with his quills as he jumped away.

"What? What?"

"Those ear plugs," said Tails. "You know sound is displacement of air, right?" At Sonic's nod Tails continued. "So I know of a compound which expands when you hit it with the right frequency. Maybe I can adapt it so that it expands and forms ear plugs whenever something above, say, 100 decibel hits you, it reacts!"

A slow grin crept onto Sonic's features. "Tails, you are the best lil' buddy anybody could ever wish for!" He pulled a sour face as he realized something. "I'm going to have to be your guinea pig, aren't I?"

Tails nodded with a contemplative look on his face. His mind already migrated to his workshop, working out the chemicals needed and the tests he needed to run before he would even dare expose Sonic to the compound.

Quickly they resumed scrubbing the paint off Sonic and when the last pink fleck went down the drain, Tails ran off at sonic speed, leaving a chuckling hedgehog behind.


Over the next few days, whenever Sonic was around, he heard hissing and fizzing coming from the workshop, and only once did he dare stick his spiky head around the door. Half the workshop was covered in white powder, and several failed half-melted batches lay strewn out over the floor. Books with titles of which Sonic only understood 'the' were stacked high upon a rickety table. They looked worn beyond belief, with only the faintest sheen of glue holding the papers together. But Tails happily puttered away, mixing this with that, making notes on his computer before looking at the beaker he held with wide eyes when it started glowing a fierce yellow.

"Dinner's ready," announced Sonic, and with visible relief Tails pulled the respirator from his muzzle and answered "coming!".

"How's it coming along?" asked Sonic when they sat at the kitchen table, eating a simple meal of potatoes and beans with some meatloaf. Tails took the stench of the workshop with him in his fur, but he beamed at Sonic and started explaining something about the volatile reactions of something or other. Sonic zoned out within the first five minutes, but kept on nodding and making appropriate remarks at pauses in the conversation, letting Tails talk and talk until the small fox had told him the progress play by play.

"Sounds good, lil' buddy," said Sonic, and Tails beamed.

"It will be, I promise!" Tails pulled a face. "I hope Eggman doesn't show up in the meantime though."

But the doctor laid low the following week for some reason. Maybe he was building another doomsday device, or maybe he lounged` on the beach with a piña colada, who knew. Sonic didn't care either way, and Tails was so busy it fell to Sonic to entice the fox out of the workshop every now and then.

Three weeks after Tails had promised to create high-tech ear plugs, Tails called Sonic into the workshop. "Check it out, Sonic! I think I've perfected them. Here, sit down and watch. Please," he added as an afterthought. Sonic laughed as Tails pushed him towards a barstool and sat him down upon it, giving him a good view of a blob of white goo laying upon a metal tray.

"Behold! I call them Sonic Sponges, because of the frequency of the … well, you'll see," said Tails with a proud grin on his face. He held some sort of microphone and aimed it at the goo. "I'll use directional sound so we won't be bothered by it," explained the fox. "Watch what happens when I turn it to 80 decibels."

Tails fiddled with the knobs on the strange microphone, but the goo stayed goo. A soft murmur rose from the microphone, though Sonic felt sure that if he stood in front of the thing, he'd hear a lot more.

"90 decibels," said Tails, but still no reaction. "And now: one hundred decibels!"

Instantly the goo hardened and expanded, looking like moldy silly-putty crisscrossed with grey veins.

"It absorbs the sound waves and when the frequency is too high, this happens. It's perfect to make ear plugs out of!"

Sonic bent forward and carefully poked the stuff with one finger. It looked hard, but still gave way under his finger, much like a sponge would. It looked a lot uglier though.

"And I'd have to carry this around in my ears?" asked Sonic, trying to keep the skeptical note out of his voice, but failing. Tails, however, was oblivious.

"Yeah! And when you stop the sound," Tails pushed a button on the microphone," it immediately returns to its previous state."

Sure enough, the sponge turned back into goo. Sonic poked at it again. It was sticky, but dry nonetheless. It stuck to his glove and he shook his hand to get rid of it, but Tails intercepted and scraped the goo off, depositing it back into the big pile.

"This is what I've made so far, can't afford to waste it," the fox explained. He scooped it up and separated it into two piles. He put one pile back onto the tray but started kneading the other one, forming it more into a plug. Understanding dawned on Sonic's face, and then apprehension.

"Those… sonic sponges… they won't slide into my ear canal, right?"

Tails looked from the plug to Sonic's ears back to the plug, and slowly he shook his head. Sonic didn't like the faraway thinking look in Tails' eyes. That look meant that Tails solved a problem in his mind. Sonic hoped that he thought about upgrading the Tornado, and not about how the fox was going to convince Sonic to put that goo into his ears.

"No way," said Tails finally, and with conviction. "Your ear canal is tiny compared to this plug. It'll go deeper than those hard plugs, but it's got enough mass and cohesion to not slide any further into your ear, I promise."

Tails handed Sonic the plug he was finished with before continuing on the next bit of goo. Sonic eyed the plug in his hand, not wanting to put it into his damaged ears yet. Not that he didn't trust Tails, but the plug was gooey and sticky and it reminded him way too much of some gross stuff that he had been covered in in the course of his life.

An idea hit Sonic and he held up the plug for Tails to see. "Won't this plug my hearing like the other ones? I mean, I'm pretty much covering all of my ears in this stuff."

Tails stopped kneading and once again beamed at Sonic. "That's the brilliance of this stuff, it lets other sound waves through. It only hardens and blocks the sounds when the frequency rises above-"

"One hundred decibel, gotcha. That's pretty brilliant, Tails! I'll bet you could sell these things."

Tails grinned at Sonic's praise. "Thanks! I'll have to test it out first, though. So try them on. Please."

Sonic hesitantly held up the goo to his ear and let it slide in. As he the cold stuff slid down he couldn't suppress a shiver. With one finger he spread the stuff evenly, and finally the plug got stuck halfway into his ear.

"Is it alright? Can you hear me, Sonic?" asked Tails. Sonic covered the plugless ear with one hand and gestured for Tails to say something.

"Can you hear me now?"

Sonic heard Tails perfectly, or at least, as perfectly as possible with his hearing damage. He stuck his thumbs up and tried not to constantly flick his ear to get rid of the annoying feeling of something stuck in them. He failed at it though.

Sonic took the other plug and slid it into his ear as well, and they repeated the unofficial sound test. Sonic still heard Tails fine and Tails looked relieved.

"You can stop flicking your ears, y'know," said Tails slyly, at which Sonic leveled a small glare at him. His ears went at it like a pair of jive-dancers, and Sonic knew he'd have to distract himself before he started scraping the precious goo out with his fingers. Of course, there was always one activity which distracted Sonic.

"I'm going for a run," he announced. "Test these babies out."

Before Tails could nod the door to the workshop opened and swung shut with the force of wind Sonic produced with his exit.

The whistling of the wind in Sonic's ear was reduced somewhat, but otherwise he heard fine. Sonic ran from the Mystic Ruins to Station Square, bought some waffles in a tiny supermarket on the edge of town and tore off again, heading west this time. This brought him to the cliffs overlooking the ocean, and in the distance Sonic saw a speck in the sky. That gave him an idea.

Thirty minutes later Sonic was back at Mystic Ruins, two waffles still in their packages in his hands. He offered one to the fox in the workshop. "Here, I brought you some lunch," said Sonic, but Tails declined. He had already eaten.

"How're they holding up?" asked Tails, and Sonic grinned and stuck his thumb up.

"Couldn't be better. Though they haven't hardened yet, so maybe we should test that out. And lo and behold, I saw Angel Island off the west coast. Let's say you and I head there in the Tornado and pay poor, lonely Knuckles a visit?"

Tails looked from the parked plane to his hero and back, but then slowly shook his head. "Sorry Sonic, but I want to perfect another batch of plugs."

Sonic shrugged and threw the unopened waffles in the passenger seat of the Tornado. "No sweat, I'll fly there myself. She's topped off?"

"Of course, Sonic," said Tails in a tone which suggested that Sonic should've known that the fox always kept the plane in tip-top condition.

"Alright then. I'll be back by dinner, and I'll bring some Angel Island spices."

Tails smiled at the hedgehog and set back to work while Sonic rolled the plane outside, did the pre-flight checks and then soared off in western direction. It didn't take long to reach Angel Island. Apparently it drifted towards the Mystic Ruins, because the speck was a lot closer by now.

Sonic hummed to himself as he started the landing procedure near Mushroom Hill. So far the plugs held up fine, but he wasn't sure if that was because of Tails' expertise or the fact that he hadn't encountered any loud sounds yet. Tails had worked hard to make the Tornado's engine whisper quiet so they could hear one another during battle.

As soon as the plane touched down Sonic jumped out and raced off. Three seconds later he was back and snatched the waffles from the passenger seat. He raced through the zones to the place he knew he could find Knuckles: near the Master Emerald.

Sonic neared the dais and even in bright sunlight the green glow of the gem lit up the sky, but the red creature that should be guarding it wasn't in sight. Sonic slowed down and walked up the stairs, expecting to see Knuckles appear. He theorized that Knuckles possessed an innate sense if somebody set foot on the island. That, or the most advanced surveillance equipment on the planet in order to monitor the whole island. But since Knuckles always suggested to hit electronic equipment in order to fix it, Sonic didn't think that was right.

The Master Emerald beckoned to the Chaos user and slowly Sonic stretched out a hand to touch the mighty jewel. Before he could lay a gloved hand on the surface, a loud yell interrupted his movement.

"SO-!"

The hedgehog actually felt the plugs harden, and after the first syllable the rest of the word was silence, though Sonic felt pretty sure that Knuckles called his name. Knuckles' red head appeared as he ran up the stairs and slid to a stop two feet from Sonic.

With the immediate threat of loud sounds gone, the plugs went back to goo. Amazing, they actually worked!

"-touch the Master Emerald, Sonic. I mean it. I just put it upright again, and so help me if you upset it."

When Knuckles was done with his rant he crossed his arms, but Sonic grinned and took no offense. Or notice of the rant. Instead he held out the packaged waffles. "Hi Knux. Waffles?"

The echidna sighed, but took one of the waffles nonetheless. "What the hell are you doing here, hedgehog? This better not be-"

"Can't a friend just drop by and say hello?" interrupted Sonic. He opened the last package and sat down on the steps. After a moment Knuckles joined him, and they munched on the baked goods in silence for a while.

"It never is 'just hello' with you," continued Knuckles their conversation after he finished his waffle. When he looked at Sonic, his eyes went wide.

"Sonic," he said in a deadpan voice, "you have rabies of the ear."

Sonic hastily swallowed and raised his eye ridges at the echidna. "Come again?" he asked, while simultaneously reaching for his ears with his hands. Now that Knuckles mentioned it, he felt something wet coming from his ears. But he had dismissed it as a side-effect of the ear plugs, his body's way of telling him that hey, you got something stuck in your ear, please to be removed NOW.

His hands encountered something wet and sticky, which slowly dribbled down from his ears. "What in the world-" began Sonic, and pulled back his hand to look at it. Grey-white stuff wettened the cloth of his gloves. It was the same color as the goo, but this substance had bubbles in it and looked more like foam than like a sponge.

Sonic groped around the area of his other ear and encountered the same stuff there too.

"Ack! Got some water, Knux?" asked Sonic and rose to his feet, trying to clean out his ears with both hands. He stumbled down the steps of the dais as Knuckles also warily rose. He pointed to a small hill. "Right over there is a stream. What is that stuff?"

"One of Tails' experiments," answered Sonic quickly and took off at a jog, his hands still fiddling with his ears. Within seconds he was at the stream, since a jog at sonic speed meant a flat-out run for others, such as Knuckles. Though the guardian didn't run, he glided over to the bank and watched as Sonic tried to clean out his ears with his fingers alone.

But the stuff was sticky enough to be annoying, and it had spread all the way into his ears and down the side of his face.

"Stick your head underwater," suggested Knuckles, but that only got him an annoyed glare. Right, hedgehogs and water, not a mix either. But Sonic soon realized that there was no other way to get rid of the stuff. It felt cold inside his ears, and he shivered as the foam popped and fizzled inside. That had to be bad for his ear canal.

So he took a deep breath, steeled himself and dunked his head underwater, scrubbing furiously at his face and ears. Too late he wondered if introducing a foreign element into a chemical reaction gone bad could cause even worse effects, and for a second he imagined that the stuff would expand even more and his head would explode.

But the goo plug remained foamy and sticky. It was just easier to remove.

"I hate water," mumbled Sonic as he pulled out of the water, spraying the liquid everywhere.

"Did it work?" asked Knuckles, and Sonic shook his head. He dunked for a second and third time, and finally it started to swirl out of his ears. The annoying fizzy feeling washed out and cool, smooth water replaced it.

With a sour face Sonic plucked the last still hard bits out of his ears and put them in the empty waffle package. Tails might want to see them later on to see what went wrong.

"Hey hedgehog, what was that stuff?" asked Knuckles warily, and he shifted into a battle-ready stance in case Sonic turned out to be one of Robotnik's goons.

So Sonic was stuck on Angel Island for at least an hour, explaining about the plugs. Knuckles was no hero with chemicals, so Sonic had to make do with the knowledge he had overheard from Tails' techno-babble to convince the echidna he hadn't brought a bomb onto the island.

Finally, after demonstrating that he wasn't a robot either by sprinting up and down the steps of the dais the way only Sonic could, did Knuckles believe him. And then he laughed at the hedgehog.

"You look like you met with a floury fate," chuckled Knuckles. Sonic pulled a face at the bad word joke and laid his ears flat in annoyance. Or at least, he tried to. The dried leftover goo had hardened and froze his ears into place. Another dunking was in order, but no way that Sonic was doing that in front of a chuckling Knuckles.

"Well, then, I'm off. Oh, wait. Got some spices for me?" asked Sonic, and for once Knuckles didn't protest the hedgehog's blatant soliciting for spices. He jumped into the air and glided off, reappearing with a small bag which reeked of future tasty meals and herbs.

"Here, I've dried these but don't like them that much."

"Thanks Knux," said Sonic as he took the bag. Knuckles still grinned knowingly at him, so quickly he turned around and with a "bye" he ran off, making sure to throw dust in Knuckles' face. Serves him right for laughing at him. His head could have exploded!

All the way home Sonic kept himself busy by plucking the hard bits and pieces out of his ear, flicking them into the ocean below. Slowly he could move his ears again, and they lay flat against his skull in annoyance. Tails should've tested them better, Tails should've… should've…

Sonic sighed as he realized he couldn't blame Tails. The little fox had worked like a horse to ensure that Sonic would get earplugs. He couldn't get mad at him for rushing the things, in order to keep Sonic's hearing intact. It'd be wrong of him. And looking back at it, the incident had been annoying, but not a real threat to his health, only his pride. But at least Knuckles got a good laugh out of it, and his pride would mend itself over time.

Sonic landed the Tornado and left it on the runway. The moment he entered the workshop Tails walked away from the worktable, lifted his mask and greeted Sonic. "Welcome back, Sonic! I hope… oh…" Tails' greeting trailed off into a guilty look as he saw the white-crusted hedgehog in front of him.

"Yeah," said Sonic. "Where can I file a bug report?" he asked in a joking tone, and Tails' flat ears perked up a little bit.

"What happened?"

Sonic told him of Knuckles' comment and the subsequent dunking. To his credit, Tails didn't laugh at the 'rabies from the ear' remark. He eyed the waffle package containing the hard pieces and after Sonic finished his tale, he briskly walked towards the workbench. "I'll try to recreate the circumstances and see if I can fix it," he said, and Sonic nodded.

"Please. I'll take a shower and see if I can get this stuff out."

And thus passed another two days, with Tails working his little butt off and Sonic hanging about, going for small runs, and testing out more samples.

"I've got it," Tails finally said. He held up a test tube filled to the brim with fizzy foam, exactly like what had happened to the first example.

"Ear wax," he said.

"Bless you," replied Sonic, at which Tails smiled.

"What I mean is: the plugs react to your ear wax and then the goo loses cohesion and starts to fizz. When you pour water onto it, it hardens."

"Think you can fix it?" asked Sonic. He didn't even pretend to fully understand the chemical reaction behind it, but it didn't matter, as long as he didn't end up with ears full of foam. It wasn't that pleasant an experience.

"I already did," replied Tails with a grin, and held up two new ear plugs. Sonic grinned and took them from the fox.

"When did you have time to do that if you just found out?" asked Sonic, and Tails shrugged.

"When you were asleep on the couch I found out, and when you went out on a run and did some grocery shopping I perfected the formula. So now they should be wind, water and ear-proof!"

"Let's hope so," said Sonic as he once again slid the earplugs into place and shuddered. "They're cold," explained Sonic the shudder to Tails, who nodded understandingly.

"I've made some for myself too. I should invent a better insertion method before marketing these."

"But if you could market these, you'd make a fortune!"

Tails grinned. "They're really something, right? I know what I'm going to give for everyone's birthdays."

Sonic laughed. "Now it's just waiting for another field test!"


The prying fingers were back and once again plucked at the appendages until they became sore.

"Congratulations, you're healing fine, just like the tests showed. Three more months and your hearing will be back to normal. We humans can still learn a lot from hedgehogs, it seems."

The man let Sonic's ears go and allowed him to jump back down to the floor, although Sonic landed with a grimace. "Yeah, Tails did an amazing job with those earplugs. He pretty much saved my hearing."

Tails, who once again sat in the chair at the desk, beamed at Sonic's praise. Dr. Ruberts glanced at the ear plugs Sonic had put on the desk. They didn't look that impressive. More like the clay his little girl played with. But the test results didn't lie.

"Can I buy a batch of them?" he asked, and Tails nodded. Then the little fox got a warning gleam in his eye.

"I've already patented them, but they're for sale for personal use. So far none of our friends have reported anything wrong with them, but we haven't tested them on humans yet."

Dr. Ruberts held up his hands in defense. "I'm not going to buy them in large masses, I'd like to try them out for myself. I bet you've developed them through quite some trial and error."

Tails laughed as Sonic started to pout. "Actually, Sonic-"

"Come on, lil' buddy," said Sonic, "he's already seeing me at my worst, do you have to heap that story on top of it as well?"

Dr. Ruberts looked down at the hedgehog. Or rather, the hedgehog's left leg, which was clad in a white cast scribbled full of well-wishes from friends. "I meant to ask: how did a super-sonic hedgehog break his leg?"

Sonic hobbled over to his seat and sat down heavily. He plucked the earplugs from the desk and put them back in. "Can't live without them anymore," grinned the hedgehog. "As to how I broke my leg, that's a whole other tale to tell…"


A/N: 'Rabies of the ear' is the sentence which poked me in the back, inspiring me to finish this fic. And for some reason I adore the words 'illegitimate love child'. English is such a wonderful language, a shame that it gets so abused.