Author's Note: Hello all. I'm here with my second fan-fiction, my first being 'The Fall of the Dogs of War' which I am still in the process of writing. This is just something new. I've had it in my head for a little while and managed an entire plot (probably also novel sized). And now, to paint it out on paper so your minds are overflowing with my imaginings. This is a story about human potential, the perversity that can taint the soul and the possible outcomes of both, with a little romance (perhaps a lot) and the most realistic coming of age ideations I can manage.
Warning: It involves a male/male pairing for one of the main characters and a heterosexual pairing for another. I'm sure you'll not be offended should you choose to continue reading, if you are then you can turn right back around. If not, please continue on, my parlor is open and the show is just about to start. Enjoy.
Beyond the River's Edge
Prologue
Naruto squealed in delight as he chased after the dragonfly flitting over the water. The rocky embankment dropped steeply from just beyond his feet to the icy flow, run off from the winter weather. It was unusually warm, which was why his father had decided it would be a lovely chance to take in some fresh air and had taken Naruto along with an old friend of his to the stream a few miles from home. Naruto loved it here. In the summer, he chased bullfrogs and dragonflies into the water and squished his toes deep into the mud until he had to fight to yank them out, laughing all the way. In the winter, he enjoyed the moon reflecting off the ice at night and the sharp quality to the air. It was never the same, even when at home, as it was by the stream. There was no safer place for him. Well, aside from his father's arms, warm and soft and strong all at the same time. Naruto thought there was no one else like him and no one else came close to the shining light of his father's eyes on him when he went off to school, or the frown when he was serious, the laughter when he was being silly. Naruto loved to hear his father laugh. It made him feel the bubbling in his own chest until he couldn't stop giggling . . . and that was good.
Only seven years old and he knew those things. They made him happy, even when he got upset. He couldn't help it. His father understood and so, to a point, did Kakashi. Naruto liked him, almost as much as he liked his Dad. But, right now, he only loved him about half as much. He couldn't help that either. But, when Naruto had told Kakashi that after the young man had asked him how he felt, Naruto had burst into tears. He felt so sorry that he couldn't love them both the same way. He was afraid Kakashi would leave and become lonely and his father wouldn't be able to help feeling sad for his friend; all this because of Naruto. Then Kakashi, because he was so much smarter than Naruto and knew how to say all the right things, whether it made him laugh or listen, told him that you could love people in different ways, even in different amounts. It wasn't wrong. Of course, Naruto was still too young to fully understand that there were certain imitations of love, like obsession, dominance, and the kind of love no grown person should feel for someone unable to choose.
Soon, it would be time for a break. The bustling brook that seemed to laugh along with Naruto called to Kakashi as well. He sauntered over to where he'd last seen the child and narrowed his eyes, shielding them from the bright rays of the sun. Raising a hand he caught sight of something yellow flashing by. No power on earth could have moved so fluidly, or so quickly, as Kakashi did. He had been programmed, it seemed, for the care and patience that children required and sought after. A squeal erupted from the squirming and wriggling mass in his arms and he looked down, blinking in surprise.
"What's this? I was looking to catch myself a firefly and I've caught a little water demon instead? What a shame." He moved closer to the brook and held the laughing child over it.
"No!" Naruto cried out, though he couldn't hide the giggle.
"No? Well, if you're not a Water Sprite intent on stealing my cookies, maybe you can help me with a problem."
Naruto, hanging upside down now, peered at Kakashi owlishly, mind turning furiously as he fought the urge to play along or to wriggle free so he could take all the dessert. His father made the best cookies, after all. Deciding he liked Kakashi too much to hurt his feelings, he opened his mouth only to gurgle more laughter. Kakashi was now tickling him . . . while he was still hanging upside down.
"Now, see, I'm looking for someone, little Water Sprite," he went on, unfazed at the laughter that had burned Naruto's face red. Or, perhaps that was due to the pressure of his head being so long in the wrong direction. Kakashi shrugged.
"W-who . . . are y-you looking for, Kakashi?" Naruto gasped out.
"Strange, I never said my name. Are you sure you're not a fairy out to claim my wisdom?" He narrowed his eyes at the child, whom he'd finally let upright only to swing him onto a shoulder, as he carried him away from the brook.
"Noooo, I'm not a fairy," Naruto said, in that delightful way of children, all innocent and impatient and exasperated by silly adults.
"Oh. Then, what are you?"
At this, Naruto threw his little chest out and pointed proudly at himself, beaming so wide Kakashi thought the sun had fallen, leaving the rest of the mortal coil to darkness and despair. He really did love this child, as much as he thought himself capable and more than he gave credit for, according to Minato.
"I'm me! Naruto, my Otousan's only boy, but not a baby!" Naruto stressed the last part. It was important. His father liked to call him his 'baby boy'. Naruto thought that Minato had, somehow, lost track of time and forgotten. Afraid for him, Naruto had begged Kakashi to buy his father a watch. When Kakashi had asked why and naruto had whispered it to him, he had nearly collapsed. He'd had to struggle so hard not to laugh himself into sore muscles and, very possibly, unconsciousness. Of course, holding it in could be detrimental to his health also, or so Minato always told him.
"Hey, Kakashi," Naruto chirped, now sitting on Kakashi's shoulders and swinging his legs languidly.
"Yes, Naruto?"
"Are you and my otousan getting married?"
Kakashi, with all his strength, did not drop Naruto, though his jaw ached and his eyes watered at the strain of holding in his laughter. Damn, but if Minato heard about this, he would never let him try and rationalize the benefits of keeping one's emotions in check. A stifled snickering from behind him gave him very little hope. Turning, they met with the very real and very amused sight of Namikaze Minato, Naruto's father. His hair, styled differently, but with the same texture and color as Naruto's and his blue eyes, also an older version of Kakashi's young charge, stood out clearly among the various browns of the late winter trees.
Minato cocked an eyebrow at his long time friend and said, "Go ahead, answer the boy, Kakashi."
Still choking back the pervasive mirth trying to seep through his chest, he looked up to see Naruto's innocent gaze facing him . . . upside down. What a wonderful way to have such a conversation. Kakashi cleared his throat loudly and very quietly, so Naruto could not possibly overhear, he answered.
"I'll kill you for this, you know that, right?" he said to his old friend. Kakashi kept his gaze level but found the tugging at his hair by questing, and likely dirty, little fingers rather distracting.
"So, so are you?"
Minato, seeming unruffled by Kakashi's blatant threat, cocked his eyebrow at him and smiled in a fair imitation of his son. Though, no one could do it better than Naruto as far as Kakashi had ever seen and he had walked the world far longer than anyone realized, despite his relatively young age. He may only have been twenty-two, seven years younger than Minato, but his mind was sharper and could be more deadly than was comfortable with most people.
"Yeah, are you?" Minato mimicked, again annoyingly imitating his son. Had Naruto been older and had Minato aged well, Kakashi would have had difficulty telling them apart, even with his advanced skills in observation and retention.
Kakashi sighed.
"Whatever unholy maggot of hell gave you that idea, little Sprite?"
"Kakashi! None of that in front of my son!" Minato cried disapprovingly, leveling a steely glare on him while reaching up to extricate Naruto from his clutches. Kakashi grinned devilishly at him. Minato was not paying any attention and that satisfied him just fine.
"Now, Naruto, Kakashi is Otousan's friend. I like him well enough to be around, but not enough to marry."
"But," Naruto's lip had begun to quiver mercilessly and Kakashi began to register panic. Just what the hell had the kid heard?
"But, you said . . . you said," here Naruto began to gasp and reflexively grip and let loose the fabric of Minato's shirt.
"I said what, baby? What's wrong?"
Naruto hadn't even registered the word Minato had used for him and that made Kakashi panic further. And then, the stone broke open, the walls crumbled and the entire world lay witness to a tragedy beyond measure. Anger burned and swelled inside Kakashi as tears funneled down the tiny scars on both of Naruto's cheeks, the only thing truly separating him from becoming a carbon copy of his father. The boy had begun to wail.
"You said that he was family, and family love each other . . . and they . . . they . . . they get married when they're big people so they don't leave!"
Naruto, frustrated and stressed had sobbed and hiccupped his whole way through the only reasoning he could come up with at his age. If you were family, you didn't leave. In order to prevent anyone from leaving, you married them. It was that simple. Minato stared at Kakashi, stunned. Kakashi assumed he looked the same as him. He felt the same. Where did Naruto come up with all his ideas? Minato hushed his son and rubbed soothing circles along his back until the child had calmed enough to be able to listen to them.
"Hey, hey, there, baby boy, it's alright. I'm not going anywhere and neither is Kakashi."
After a few moments, not to be completely consoled, the boy shook his head numbly and stuck his thumb in his mouth. This time, Kakashi stepped around to Minato's back so he could free it.
"Now, now, none of that. What you're father said is true. I'm not going anywhere and neither is he. Now, tell me who said that about big people?" Naruto stayed mute and clutched harder at his father's shirt, burying his head as deep as he could into Minato's shoulder. His little body still shook with spasms of unshed tears and Kakashi had to breathe evenly to continue.
"Naruto? Will you tell me? Please? I promise that it's safe to do so. Even if someone does something wrong, it's always safe to come tell us anything."
Minato watched Kakashi keenly and when they made eye contact, raised another eyebrow, unable to hold in the smile glinting off his eyes. Kakashi narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, but waited patiently for Naruto to speak up.
"Daddy?" he cried meekly.
"Hmmm, little one?" Again Naruto made no move to chastise his father and Kakashi once again grew worried. This wasn't like Naruto at all.
"What happened to Mommy?"
Kakashi caught the pain in his friends' eyes before it swirled behind a veil of hollow indifference. Minato was not as good at hiding as he thought, despite Kakashi, who was better, having learned from him. After a long struggle from Minato to keep his voice light and neutral and one from Naruto not to cry and miss anything, Kakashi heard something about what he had been wondering for years.
"She's someplace far away where we can't follow, but she's safe and warm and happy. Well, mostly happy. She can't be here with you . . . or me, but that's okay. You know why?"
"Why?" Naruto asked, voice sounding desolate and inconsolable. Kakashi quivered, suddenly cold.
"Because, Naruto, she gets to watch over everything, including you."
"Okay," Naruto said.
He seemed satisfied with what his father had told him and Kakashi wondered how long it would last before he asked again. He hoped Minato would be ready to tell his son a little more than what he'd just let on, for Naruto's sake. He might not have her anymore, but that didn't mean Naruto should suffer never knowing anything about her. Some children, after knowing only what they'd been told by others, claimed not to care whether or not they had ever found out in the first place. Naruto was different; Naruto was special. Kakashi knew that and he knew that Minato knew that. He just hoped it wasn't too late when the truth finally came around, whatever it was.
"You know," came Minato soft baritone, "you still haven't told us why you're so unhappy about Kakashi only being a friend and not my fiancée."
Kakashi gritted his teeth as Minato wiggled his eyebrows at him. What a way to lighten the mood. Well, for the adults anyway. Naruto looked worn out from crying, as Kakashi imagined he was, eyes already red and puffing out, thumb once again in mouth and a soft sigh pushing his small ribs out. Such a small thing, this little life in front of him; and yet Kakashi had always felt drawn to everything about Naruto and Minato. He wondered idly if it wasn't some kind of misplaced curiosity from his own upbringing, but let it pass for now.
"It's 'cause. . . It's 'cause, Kakashi loves me and loves you and he's lonely and people don't need to be lonely if they have other people. People should get married then, so they won't be lonely. So, are you getting married? You said . . . you said he was like family."
Kakashi smiled at the boy's effort at trying to figure it all out, and in one afternoon no less. There were adults who still had trouble with concepts like love, and yes, even family, sometimes, especially family. Kakashi heard Minato sigh though he could not see it. He was facing Naruto and stroking the boy's hair, smiling at him gently. He seemed to always feel better when Kakashi did that while he babysat for him, and with his father there, it was bound to work overly well.
"Well, he is like family, but a different kind of family than the kind you marry. You'll understand when you're older."
Naruto's eyes welled up again and Kakashi didn't not want to see him cry, especially so soon after they had calmed him down.
"Hush, Naruto. Hush. It's okay," he rested a hand against his heated cheek and raised the boy's face a little so he could look him in the eye.
"How about this? You think of a special name, just for me and no one else. That way, I'll be family in a way no one else is to you, okay?"
Naruto frowned, considering for a moment then his eyes lit up and a grin spread across his face slowly. Kakashi was instantly relieved. Whatever it was, he would take it, just to see that smile again.
"I'll call you Kakashi-ojiisan!" he cried. Kakashi groaned and Minato rumbled laughter that instantly made the boy bubble over with it as well.
"Daddy, stop! That tickles!" he crowed.
"Sorry, cricket, but that was something Daddy found very funny. It will make Kakashi very happy, too, to hear you call him that."
Kakashi forced the long string of swears back down his throat and swallowed them whole. God, he wanted to kill him. Naruto pouted suddenly and Kakashi cocked his head to the side in a way that seemed to give no end to the laughter the boy manifested. Like water spouting from the earth, it was always welcome, always treasured and seldom hard to find.
"It's too long," the boy said sternly.
"What's too long?" Kakashi shot back.
"Your new name. I know!" The boy threw a hand in the air excitedly and almost toppled out of his father's grip. Minato, knowing his son well, tightened his fingers around the child's ribs and admonished him softly.
"Naruto, what did I say about moving around so much while I'm carrying you?"
"Um, not to do it anymore? Sorry," Naruto mumbled.
Minato's stern eyes softened slightly and he drew back into a tight hug.
"Mmmm, what am I going to do with you?"
"You could throw me in the river!" the boy answered happily.
"What?!" both of the young men stopped short.
"Uzumaki Naruto, why in Buddha's name, would you say such a thing?"
"Well, 'cuz then, 'cuz then, Kakashi could go swimming with me."
The excited boy had apparently forgotten all about the heavy conversations they'd just had. However, Kakashi knew better. Naruto liked to play. It was familiar to him. When he wasn't sure of himself and he didn't know if his father could help, he always asked to play using the strangest words. It was his way of getting them to see that he was still confused but would rather not talk about it just yet. He always brought the problem up again, Kakashi was certain. He'd had enough calls at the oddest times informing him that Naruto was too serious or too sensitive for his own good. Minato needed a lot of coaxing to believe that he was raising his son well, and Naruto needed a lot of coaxing to reassure that his place in the world was not overlooked and he was not ignored or left behind.
"Naruto," Minato looked at Kakashi pleadingly, "we can't go swimming and that is certainly no way to ask."
Naruto's lower lip came out again in a pout, but Kakashi caught the difference. The boy wasn't really upset. After a moment, the child brightened again and sat up in his father's arms a little.
"Okay, but instead, can Kakashi-ojii come over for dinner? And can we have ika-, ika-, ikashogayaki? And, I'll clean my room and do my chores. But, Dad," and now his voice had gone so serious, Kakashi nearly forgot he was talking to a seven year old, "it's not because I know I was bad for what I said, or because, because Kakashi is coming and I know I need to be good. I did a bad thing. I s-said a bad thing that made you worry and I s-sorry."
Naruto dropped a word or two and occasionally stuttered when making certain sounds. His speech therapist had related to Minato, and of course Kakashi had had to hear about it, that, though he was seven, he saw things very differently from most boys his age. Indeed, by Kakashi's own assessment, he saw things differently, at times, than many adults. He truly was very sensitive and Minato had told him how worried he was that it would end up hurting him deeply later. He did everything he could to give Naruto a balanced life. Being financially sound certainly helped. Taking Naruto to the doctor regularly and making sure to use every service available to single parents also worked to his credit. Kakashi just wished the man could see it every once in a while.
"Well, I'm not sure. Kakashi, what do you think? If Naruto can finish all his chores and write me three paragraphs about why he needs to speak more clearly when he wants something and not say things he knows will make people worry, can you come by for dinner?"
Kakashi could not see his face, being behind Minato the whole way down the trail out of the woods and onto the sidewalk, but he could hear the smile clearly. Naruto's eyes danced in front of him and Kakashi could not see himself falling asleep at night without knowing he'd made him happy.
"Hmmm, I'll think about it. I'll be around by seven if I can make it."
Naruto's eyes twinkled and Kakashi felt the last bit of tension from the earlier upset leave his shoulders. He would definitely have to stop by now.
"You know, I may not make it this time," he warned.
"I may have found someone else to occupy my time with."
"Nu-uh, Kakashi-ojii is family and unless they have a really good reason, they have to go to the other family's house. Only if they get in real trouble are they allowed out of it. And then, they have to call, or make someone else call or the other family will worry. And, if they worry, they might call police, which they should do 'cuz it's not nice to not know where your family is" Naruto looked extremely proud of himself at the moment and Minato laughed uproariously and swung him around to face them both.
"And, where, may I ask, did you hear this little nugget of information?"
"From school," Naruto informed them.
"A boy in class told me. He's very nice. I don't think he likes me though."
"A boy in class, huh? Why don't you think he likes you?"
";Cuz after I talked to him, he went away fro a long time and then, then he didn't remember talking to me. But, he let me sit with him at lunch today, and I smiled real wide and told him I was happy 'cuz he let, just like you taught me! I said I just couldn't leave him alone like that."
"Oh, really, and what did he say?"
"Nothing," Naruto seemed to think for a bit before continuing. "But, he smiled a little and when I left he asked if we could sit together tomorrow!"
"Well, see then, he probably wants to be friends with you but he might be shy. Just be careful when you play that you be nice to him and don't call him names or use any bad words or do anything you know you shouldn't if you get upset or angry."
"I won't," Naruto beamed. Kakashi rolled his eyes at Minato and muttered under his breath that he was a little too pushy. Minato informed him lowly that Naruto knew very well to tell him if something was bothering him about his father and if Kakashi didn't like it, he could eat outside and only come in after Naruto had gone to bed. Kakashi, knowing when to give up, said nothing. Suddenly, Minato burst into a fit of laughter that startled both his traveling companions as they walked down the last few streets home.
"Minato, what . . . ?"
"Kakashi-ojii!" Minato struggled out between gasp for air. His laughter, joined by Naruto's because all laughter is contagious, accompanied them all the way to the house and through the front door, only muffled slightly when it closed behind them.