This is about my third edit of this, I started writing a second chapter, but it was far longer than the first so I decided to put the two together. This is my first fanfic, so any constructive reviews would be really helpful.Disclaimer: I don't own anything apart from the storyline and a few OCs, JK Rowling owns the rest.
Hannah Abbott shifted uncomfortably in her sleep, her golden hair framing her frowning face as she shifted beneath the yellow silk of her four poster bed. The circular room that she was in was ordained with yellow and black wallpaper and four identical beds. Clothes were strewn about the floor of the Hufflepuff 5th year Girl's dormitory, carelessly abandoned from the night before. The first night back. Since Cedric.
Cedric resurfaced the lake first, and Hannah's heart leapt gratefully as he grinned soaking wet at the cheers for him. Ernie beamed at Hannah, and grabbed a towel for Cedric, only to be beaten by 6th and 7th year girls.
Hannah laughed "I suppose Ced would appreciate it more from them after all".
Ernie glowered back at her "I was only trying to help him of course, and then perhaps ask him about how he gets his hair so-"
Giggles erupted from Susan Bones beside Hannah "you're just proving Hannah's point even further!"
Huffing, Ernie strutted off towards Justin Finch-Fletchley, his best friend. Looking over, Hannah spotted Neville looking anxiously at the water. The blonde rolled her eyes. How typical of him to still be waiting for Potter, she thought, even though Potter just ignores him and looks down on him. The Boy Who Lived. Ugh, Hannah turned away.
Hannah twisted in her bed as the dream changed, inevitably, to Cedric's last words to her.
Cedric looked down at Hannah, cupping her face in his warm hands. It was just before the third and final task, and Cedric was alone with her.
"Han, I really think I have a chance here - a chance to prove myself. Everyone thinks that I am 'perfect' and they idolise me, but you have always seen me for who I really am, ever since I found you sniffling by the library in your first year for being lost. You're like a little sister to me, the sibling I never had, and I will always be grateful for that. I love you so much, and if anything were to happen-" Hannah opened her mouth in protest "-no Hannah, I mean it. People have died in these tournaments and I have barely escaped with my life so far. If anything were to happen, then don't forget me and know that you are the most special person in my life. Far more important than any girlfriend. Don't say anything now, I want to be in this moment now with you."
Hannah's eyes shone as she gave him one final hug. Surely Cedric would survive and win - her hero, the one who had saved her when she was lost and alone. Cheers sounded outside and the two broke apart, Cedric looking back nervously. He glanced back at Hannah, and, noticing her strained smile, gave her a last wink and ruffled her hair. Then finally, he turned and ran out to the stadium filled with cheers for him, leaving Hannah alone in the dark changing room.
Hannah awoke to the cheers still ringing in her ears, breathing deeply. She was still in her bed and could already hear her best friend Evie clattering in the bathroom. Hannah let out a big sigh as she heard the shower turn on, and waited until her tears had stopped flowing. She missed the boy who was like her brother with all her heart. Forcing herself to get up, Hannah drew back her curtains and noticed that the other two weren't awake yet.
Yawning and stretching, Hannah opened her trunk and began to organise her belongings into the drawer beside her bed. The blonde grabbed her robes and changed behind the curtains of her bed as she heard the groans of Megan as she tried, and failed to fall asleep again once Susan had jumped on her bed. Hannah reammerged to see Evie in front of the full length mirror fastening hooped earrings on.
"Evie, you realise McGonagall is going to confiscate them as soon as you get down there?" Hannah yawned at the brunette.
Evie just shrugged in response. She took the bun out of her hair and let it fall to past her shoulders in thick waves. Hannah often felt jealous of Evie's gorgeous hair, as her straight blonde hair just seemed boring in comparison.
Evie turned to Hannah, a gleam in her eyes as she pulled Hannah to the mirror so that the pair stood next to each other. Hannah sighed as she took in her appearance, her amber eyes, waist-length golden hair, and long legs. Evie then proceeded to roll her own skirt up even higher and then turning to do Hannah's.
"No no! I'm a prefect now Evie! You can't make me conform to your slaggish ways!" Hannah shrieked with laughter, flinging herself back onto her bed.
"Ah come on! Not even for a certain Mr. Swann?" Evie threateningly danced towards her.
Hannah gasped suddenly. She'd completely forgotten about Ben and that the two of them had begun dating last year. How could she forget? Maybe it's the fact that he is a forgettable sort of person. A voice in the back of her mind remarked. Hannah pushed the voice down, filled with dread, and stood quickly. She grabbed her wand and bag, grabbed Evie's hand and laughed on the way out as she spotted Susan bouncing on Megan Jones' bed only to get hit on the head by a pillow from Megan.
The door clicked shut behind them and they made their way down to breakfast, Hannah pulling Evie along at a fast pace as her mind whirled. She hadn't heard that voice in her head for a long time, and before the only person that could make it stop was Cedric. Hannah continued to internally panic so badly that she didn't realise Evie tugging her arm.
"Oi Han. We just walked past our spot on the table" Evie chirped.
Hannah stopped herself suddenly, causing Evie to bump into her back.
"What's the matter Han?" Evie asked, pulling Hannah back to their seats.
Hannah shook herself mentally. "Just spotted Potter" Hannah murmured to her best friend.
"Hannah- you do think he's telling the truth about You-Know-Who right?" Evie whispered as she helped herself to some toast.
Hannah nodded "In the past I've never really supported Potter as it all seemed ridiculous but I have always been wrong, and I know that he would never make it all up about Ce-" her voice broke, but she continued "Cedric. Harry Potter is probably quite nice and I think all the disappearances can't all be due to Sirius Black. And if it is because of Black, then I'll bet that it is for You-Know-Who, even though I think he's just a scapegoat of the Ministry."
Evie nodded back, munching on the toast. "Yeah that's about the same as what I'm thinking."
Hannah felt the need for a change of subject just as Ben sat down next to her, kissing her on the cheek and Justin slid into the spot in front of her.
"So what do you all think of that Umbridge woman then?"
Neville entered the Great Hall alone, and let his gaze wonder as a group of 6th years passed him. He actively avoided the Slytherin table with his eyes, as he was terrified of them. His Gran would call him spineless at that - and she was probably right. The Hall was mostly full and he spotted his group of Hufflepuff friends in close conversation. Neville made his way over, ignoring looks from other Hufflepuffs as he slid into a seat opposite Evie and next to Justin and Ernie.
"Hi Neville" Hannah smiled at him and her boyfriend Ben gave him a high five. The others greeted Neville and then turned to ask him his opinion of Umbridge.
"I think she's got to be an interference from Fudge" Neville put in.
The group continued to bicker between themselves, Ernie the only one saying that they should respect her as a member of staff. Neville truly felt happy here with his friends and always felt as if he belonged here more. Gryffindor was his house of course, but he'd felt out of place with Harry and Ron as best friends and then Dean and Seamus paired up. Of course, they'd always been kind to him, but he didn't actually fit in too well. Then, in the second year, Neville had defended Harry to the Hufflepuffs when he overheard them gossiping and they had taken to him almost immediately.
Neville let out a contented sigh as he managed to forget all his troubles by just sitting with his friends. Of course, he was never in lessons with them and he could not share a common room or dormitory, but he was fine with that as he also could hang out with the Gryffindor boys. Glancing over to Hannah, Neville realised that she looked extremely uncomfortable with Ben's arm around her. Standing up, he cleared his throat.
"Hannah, do you think you could come ask something from Professor Sprout with me?"
Hannah just looked relieved as she stood up with him smiling and patting Ben's shoulder as she went.
"What did you want to ask her?" Hannah inquired.
"Actually I didn't want to ask anything," Neville admitted "you just looked so upset… is something upsetting you?"
Hannah gave a strained smile as they walked out of the Great Hall together, away from the chattering students. "Thank you - I don't know what's wrong with me - I… just…"
She trailed off with a guilty expression. Hannah looked back up, her golden hair falling around her shoulders in a sheet, to see Neville smiling encouragingly back at her. Hannah began to wonder how he managed to notice her. No one really noticed her apart from Evie and… well, Ced.
She sighed, "It's Cedric. He was like my older brother and I loved him so much. I can't believe he's gone…" Hannah began to falter, wondering how much she should tell Neville, but one look at his caring face helped her continue. "It's also Ben… I don't think I actually like him that much anymore. The world is changing but every time I wrote to him over the summer, he just spouted rubbish about how his father thinks the minister is correct about Potter and that Dumbledore is an idiot. I really don't think I can last much longer!"
A jolt of shock stabbed at Hannah as Neville took her hand in his.
"Hannah," he began, looking into her eyes with his own chocolate ones. "I think you should go with what you want- If you don't want to be with Ben, then just don't. But to be honest, he is a bit of a twat."
Hannah just stared at him, surprised at what was just said. Neville had matured so much and she hadn't realised. Before, he was a round-faced little boy, but now his features were more defined, he was a lot taller - Hannah came up to his nose - and she could say that he was actually good looking. The blonde internally shook herself, surprised at that.
"Uh… thank you Neville. You're right. I don't want to be with him, and to be honest, I really think there's only one thing on his mind." Hannah blurted without meaning to.
She could already see pink staining his cheeks as he looked away and cleared his throat.
"Sorry" Hannah quickly put in.
"How come?" Neville laughed, "you're actually right - I've had a few conversations with him and-" Neville's eyes widened as he realised his mistake.
"What? You spoke to him about that kind of thing?! About me?!" Hannah suddenly blew up, taking a step back, her blonde hair swaying back with her as she jerked away from his soft hands. Soft hands? sneered the voice, and this time, Hannah actually screamed.
Neville lurched forwards as she screamed, falling.
"Hannah? Hannah?!" he desperately called at the unconscious form in his arms.
Carefulling picking her up, he sprinted through the corridors passing wide eyed 1st years and Ron, calling after him ("Oi- Neville! What's going on?!").
Neville charged into the hospital wing with the light girl still unconscious. He lay her gently onto a bed before rushing to Madam Pomfrey shouting.
It had been just a few weeks since the day that she heard the voice again, and it had been getting worse. As Hannah got changed, it remarked on how she was a coward for hiding from Ben. As Hannah brushed her teeth, it added how she was ignoring Neville and how horrible she was. As Hannah stalked down the stairs, it berated her about how nasty she was being to Evie. In truth, the voice had been causing her lack of sleep that was mingled with the dreams steadily getting worse. That lack of sleep only made her crabbier towards her best friend.
Hannah Abbott suddenly woke up panting and gasping for air. This nightmare had been the worst so far. Cedric was saying the opposite of his last words to her, telling her she was a failure and he had always hated her. Hannah knew this wasn't real, but she couldn't stop the tears start to fall and the voice to snigger at her - Hannah you're worthless, you're so stupid. Just look at Hermione Granger and see how well she is set up in life. Then look at yourself. Pathetic. It whispered in the darkness, causing fresh tears to fall hot and fast.
Hannah's eyes ached, she realised that she only had three hours of sleep this time. Her brother was dead, and she had no one. Even Evie couldn't understand the pain that she was going through. Neville seemed to have understood, but then again, he had gossiped about her with her newly-exed ex-boyfriend Ben. Hannah sat up in bed and ran her hands through her blonde hair, pulling the tangles out as she remembered all that had happened in the past month.
Hannah woke up to see Neville sitting anxiously to her side, chewing at his lip. She sleepily smiled and was about to reach for him when she remembered what he had done.
"What are you doing here?" Hannah coldly stated, her amber eyes piercing his dark brown ones.
"Hannah… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to talk about you like that, but Ben pulled me aside and started telling me about it because he thought we were close."
"What exactly did he say?" she narrowed her eyes at him.
Neville visibly gulped which cheered her up slightly, but she was determined to stay angry.
"Well… he said he didn't want anything serious with you… and I can't remember the rest." he nervously stated.
That was fair enough, Hannah thought, as he had the worst memory she'd ever known.
"Please forgive me, I never meant to hurt you, I just hate keeping things from you, and you needed my help, which no one ever wants. I'm used to people not wanting to talk to me and stuff, but I really want you to trust me"...
About a week later, Hannah pulled Ben Swann aside in Charms.
"Ben, I really need to talk to you-" she began.
"Actually Hannah, I've been meaning to ask you something. What were you doing on Thursday talking to Potter and Weasley?" Ben demanded, his dark grey eyes looking so serious. If she looked closely she would have seen desperation and betrayal, but Hannah was suddenly filled with shock.
"Excuse me?" She politely asked.
"I said what on earth were you doing with Potter. I can't even understand why you would want to talk to that liar. Hannah he's a nutter, stay away."
Hannah could feel the anger bubbling up inside her as she met the gaze of her boyfriend. He was looking at her so condescendingly and that was the one thing she could never stand.
"I think I can talk to whoever I want Ben." She hissed at him. "How dare you?"
Ben placed his hands on her shoulders and smirked down at her.
"Hannah where is your loyalty? To me? How can you even call yourself a Hufflepuff?"
Ben's eyes had laughter in them - but it wasn't kind laughter.
Hannah believed in two kinds of laughter. There was kind laughter, laughing with someone, having fun and no one being harmed in the process. Then there was cruel laughter. Cruel laughter was at the expense of someone else, laughing at them or what they do. Hannah despised anyone who laughed cruelly, and incidentally that was all of Slytherin. At some stage, that also happened to be herself.
"Hannah, you don't understand this sort of thing. You're actually very ignorant when it comes to politics darling. You see, Potter is obviously lying for attention and if you believe him, then Cedric's memory is tainted. You-know-who is not back!"
Hannah had had enough by then and Ben seemed to notice as he saw the cold expression that Hannah wore.
"You never actually liked me did you? You're just like everyone else!" She screamed before running right out of the classroom in tears. She had wanted to end it, but not like this. Not in this crushing way when he just picked out her bad qualities. How could she ever believe someone like that would benefit her?
Hannah had been hiding ever since. She was no Gryffindor, and was terrified of another confrontation so she scurried away when she saw Ben, she made excuses and hid in the library, burying herself into her studies. Not that you belong in the library, stupid. The voice was not helpful. It was eating her from the inside. She was desperate to quieten the voice by trying to better Hermione Granger, but it exhausted her - trying to be perfect.
Hannah shuddered in the cold room, the castle allowing icy wind to blow through the hall. As a prefect, it was her duty to decorate the Great Hall for the Halloween feast tonight. She'd also been giving Ernie a hard time. Sometimes he could just be so pompous and he didn't understand. He was also frequently condescending, but Hannah didn't mind as much because Ernie was one of her closest friends.
Then there was Neville. Hannah had utterly embarrassed herself in front of her Gryffindor friend and she was mortified. Hannah groaned and fell back in her bed. Waking up to find Neville watching her was so embarrassing and the fact that she had fainted on top of him was the worst bit. Every time she saw him in the corridor she turned in the opposite direction, ignoring his shouts after her.
Hannah lay still, listening to the deep breathing and snores of her friends before drawing the curtains back and stepping out into the cold dormitory.
The blonde checked the time and saw it was just after 3am. She picked up a blanket and draped it around her shoulders and stalked out and into the Hufflepuff common room. The room was large and circular with a sort of well in the middle that flames roared from. The ceiling was low, and there was an earthy, homely feel to the room. Various plants were scattered about that the Hufflepuffs cared for together. Hannah was a leading figure in this care, being as good with plants as she was, and was in charge of the healing section. Hannah curled up in the nearest armchair to the smoldering flame and warily watched it flicker.
It was a Thursday Hannah realised, meaning double herbology. Hannah smiled to herself. Herbology was her favourite subject, one of the only ones that she felt she excelled at. Not even Hermione could make her feel uneasy about her skills in it. Hannah took a particular interest in healing plants and had many discussions with Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey about it. Hannah was unsure about a lot in her life, but her career aim was not uncertain at all. She wanted to be a healer. The only thing that compelled her to study was the prospect of becoming a healer and working to help those in need.
Despite most of her friends being in Hufflepuff, Hannah found herself feeling very alone. Every morning, Hannah woke up before dawn and ended up sleeping downstairs. Quite often, she found herself wishing she was in Gryffindor with Neville. Of course, she loved Hufflepuff, but Neville seemed different to all her other friends. Hannah's eyes slowly slid shut, thinking of Herbology and Venus flytraps.
Double Herbology was definitely Neville's best subject. It didn't require a wand, which Neville was useless with, and he felt at peace when it was just him and the plants. He could just work and discuss future projects with Professor Sprout.
As he trudged down to the greenhouses alone, a certain bushy haired girl ran up behind him and grabbed his arm. Neville gasped in surprise but quickly smiled at Hermione.
"Hi Hermione!"
"Neville. I need a quick word. You know Umbridge? Well the fact that she won't let us cast spells and that we're not going to learn anything is going to make us fail. Therefore, me and Harry have come up with a plan. Harry will teach us." Hermione gushed.
"Woah woah slow down. Did you just say that Harry is going to teach us DADA?"
"Yep. Spread the word to anyone you think is trustworthy enough and supports Harry. I mean… seeing as most of the school is against him…" Hermione nervously worried her bottom lip.
Neville sensed her nervousness, so he shot her a quick reassuring smile.
"Of course Hermione, I would be honoured to come."
"Oh thank you! Meet at the Hog's Head next Hogsmeade weekend. I'll tell you about any more details."
With that, Hermione bounded off to talk to Pavarti Patil and Lavender Brown.
Neville continued down the muddy hill and took his seat in Herbology. He spotted Hannah, and was going to wave, but then remembered she was ignoring him. He didn't really understand why, but she was not happy at all. Scratching his head, he began to carefully prune the leaves of the plant on the desk in front of him.
After 20 minutes of clipping, Neville was fed up with his set of shears. They were way too blunt, so with a huff, he got up to replace them. Incidentally, he got up at the same time as Hannah so they inevitably met at the supply cupboard. Hannah pointedly avoided his eyes as she nodded at him, red creeping up her neck.
"Hannah-" Neville began.
"Sorry Neville. Maybe later." Hannah made to turn away, but Neville took her shoulders with steady hands.
Hannah turned back to him a questioning look on her face.
"Please listen to me Hannah. I don't know what I did wrong, I thought you forgave me for talking to Ben, and you broke up with him anyways. What have I done?" Neville half demanded.
"Neville… it's not that. It's just, I embarrassed myself so badly in front of you by fainting on you…" Hannah blushed looking away. "You must think I'm so weak or something."
Neville just felt shocked. Weak?
"Hannah how could I think you were weak? You don't have to tell me what happened, but honestly, I know that it wasn't your fault. You're anything but weak. That's why I'm about to ask you this."
Neville knew that Hermione had only just told him, but he could trust Hannah and he believed that she was strong enough for this.
"Hannah, Umbridge won't teach us properly, so Hermione and Harry are setting up a little club sort of thing where he trains us in DADA. Properly."
"What? Harry is only in our year, how can he be good enough to train us?" Hannah asked, looking back at Harry and Weasley throwing dirt at each other laughing.
"I know him well Hannah. He is seriously amazing. He fought You-know-who!"
"Well… I do believe that…"
"Exactly, please come with me so I'm not alone?"
"Fine. When's the meeting?"
"It's at Hogsmeade, in the Hog's Head. We should go together."
Neville could've sworn he saw a light dusting of pink on Hannah's cheeks, but he shook himself.
"Ok…" Hannah agreed, then smiled. "I'm sorry that I've been ignoring you these past weeks, I was just scared that you'd tell everyone, even though most of the school already knows what happened."
"It's ok Hannah, I'm happy we're ok again"
Hannah grinned and nudged him. "Looks pretty suspicious how long we've been in here eh?" She said with laughter in her amber eyes.
Neville beamed back and they left the cupboard together.
Evie bounded up to the golden haired girl outside of Transfiguration the next day, and jumped on her back, wrapping her legs around her victim. Hannah gave a small shriek in surprise and jammed her elbow in to her friends side. Evie leapt off elegantly and laughing, the brunette ruffled Hannah's hair and linked arms with her, beginning to guide her best friend away from the classroom.
"Hey! Evie! Class is that way." A worried Hannah chewed her lip, knowing her friend's tendency to break the rules. Hannah herself had never been in a detention before, and Umbridge was frankly terrifying.
"Relax. McGonagall won't miss us, she hardly notices us at the back anyways. We're completely covered. Trust me. I just want to skip with you at least once. Meg hardly does it anymore with me, and well, you're my best friend so I'd rather go with you anyway."
Huffing, Hannah ceased her mild struggling. Evie raised an eyebrow in surprise at the quick change of heart.
"I wasn't feeling up to it anyway…" Hannah murmured.
Evie's eyes glowed and her rouged lips were pulled into a sly smirk. Jumping ahead of Hannah in the middle of the deserted corridor, she spread her arms wide.
"As a profound member of the Skipping Class Society or SCS," Evie began to Hannah's giggles, "I would like to cordially invite you to my favourite spot of skiving." Evie reached forwards and grabbed Hannah's hand, and they ran through the corridors that echoed with their laughter.
After running up and down quite a few staircases, the pair reached the entrance to the Prefect's Bathroom.
"Hang on… you aren't-" Hannah began to question.
"A few times with Michael Corner has served a purpose for me!" Evie mischievously grinned, shaking her hips as she spoke the password, Rose Scented.
The statue of Boris the Bewildered slid to the side, revealing a large room mainly taken up by a large swimming pool, with seemingly hundreds of glittering gold taps at one end. Evie and Hannah danced over to the pool, giggling and dropped down into the bottom of it. Crossing her legs on the mermaid mosaics, Evie cleared her throat.
"On behalf of the SCS, I, Evie Smale, would like to welcome you to our society." Hannah sniggered as she gave a curtsey in response.
"Sit sit!" Evie whined, tugging at Hannah's robes, forcing her to join her on the pool floor.
"How comfortable." Hannah grumbled. "You aren't even a Prefect! I swear you actually have a problem." Hannah said with mock seriousness.
"I have my ways, you have yours." Evie replied, proceeding to flop back on the cold porcelain tiles.
Hannah huffed and joined her. "How exactly does one not get caught while meeting with the SCS? Especially with Umbridge around nowadays?"
"Ah. My dear friend, you see, earlier I went to Umbridge herself after having digested a Puking Pastille-"
"A what?"
"One of the Weasley's Skiving Snackboxes."
"Right ok…"
"Anyway, I was vomiting all over her, and I have had the fortune of being the Weasley twin's little test subject to see if it works on teachers, so she doesn't actually know what's happening yet. Of course, soon she'll realise." Evie cleared her throat. "As I was saying, I horrified her as I splashed out on her perfect pink shoes" The brunette cackled at Hannah's expression. "Trust me Han, it was amazing, the Weasley's were dying in the background. I then told her that you had also caught the bug and she screamed that we should go to Madam Pomfrey. It was hilarious. So off I went, my breakfast all over the floor, and I came for you, by that time having been chased by Filch and stopped being sick. And here we are!"
"God Eve, I must say it's pretty clever and this is nice, but it is OWL year. I seriously need to get studying." Hannah bit her lip, thinking of Hermione Granger.
"God Han," Evie tittered, mimicking Hannah. "You sound awfully like Granger!"
"I do?" Hannah said with a hint of hope in her voice.
"Uh… yes? Actually Hannah, what is your weird obsession with that girl?" Evie turned her head to Hannah, her dark locks framing her face. "You seem to idolise her. And to be honest, I can't see why, she's never had a boyfriend apart from something weird with that Krum last year. She's just a know it all and I honestly can't stand her. She doesn't have a single friend that's a girl apart from maybe Ginny Weasley in the year below."
"I don't know… she's just so smart, top in almost everything, and there's me…" Hannah trailed, realising this was the first time she was admitting one of her weaknesses to anyone apart from Cedric. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before Eve, I'm just jealous of her I guess."
Evie snorted to Hannah's surprise and annoyance. Hannah had just admitted something important and difficult to her best friend, only to be laughed at.
"Hannah that's so stupid. You're so much better than her. All her knowledge is just from books. All your power is because you're intelligent. You're amazing at Herbology, and I've seen you helping out Madam Pomfrey. You have talent with healing! Also, you're a Prefect for god's sake! Do you think Dumbledore chose you because he picked randomly? He chose you for a reason. We all know that you are the best Hufflepuff in our year, if not the whole school! You have every trait required; loyalty, kindness, you're a dedicated worker - you're even worrying about OWLs now! Hannah - only you can't see all of this."
Hannah only blinked at the girl beside her. She was surprised at that list having suddenly burst from her playful friend in such a serious way. The list also sounded nothing like her, but Evie was just trying to be helpful after all. Is she though? She doesn't understand, how could she? Everything comes easily to her, she's so popular, confident and beautiful. The voice hissed, almost snake-like. Hannah physically shuddered.
"Yeah thanks Eve" Hannah shakily replied.
"Hannah, the actual reason I took you here is that I've noticed how bad you look." Evie rolled to her side and propped herself up with her arm. She really is full of herself isn't she? "You haven't been sleeping, I hear you coming in in the mornings after sleeping in the common room." Evie gently pulled Hannah up into a sitting position and seriously met her gaze.
"It's nothing, I've just been thinking of Cedric." Hannah attempted to brush Evie off, her eyes shifting away, an awful liar. The main trouble she was having was the voice. You're crazy Hannah. A complete nutter.
Unsatisfied, Evie sighed, but let it go. "Hey, we're 'off' the whole day thanks to the Weasley's, so do you want a bath?" Evie grinned nodding at the golden taps. "I heard there's a tap that pours chocolate?"
Hannah gave a strained smile and lifted herself from the cold hard floor. "Yeah, me and Ernie tried it, it's great for a bit, but when mixed with the water…"
Evie pulled a face and they laughed, helping each other out of the empty pool.
The first Hogsmeade weekend of the year finally rolled around, something Neville was extremely grateful for. Not even Umbridge could try and cancel Hogsmeade for the Hogwarts students. Umbridge had introduced many 'Educational Decrees', each one more ridiculous than the last, tying up loopholes - only making her look even more ludicrous, yet giving her inches of power each time. As High Inquisitor, she stalked the corridors, finding reasons to punish people. Personally, Neville did everything he could to get away from her, yet he wished he was braver like Harry or Hermione and to actually speak up against her. He'd heard from his Hufflepuff friends, who strangely always seemed to know the gossip of the castle, that she planned to kick Trelawney out.
Trelawney was pretty dodgy in Neville's opinion. Neville never really understood Divination, and she seemed to be a bit of a fraud, but he'd never really admit it like Hermione would.
Neville stood waiting for Hannah alone in the crowded Entrance Hall, having left Ernie and Justin to go off ahead.
As he waited, he shut his eyes briefly, just to think. It was almost the anniversary of his parents' torture. Each year, Neville visited them once on the anniversary, once at Christmas, once on each of their birthdays, quite a lot in the holidays and once of course on his own birthday. Each time, Neville felt his heart break a little more, seeing his mum and dad completely broken forever. He always wished he could have known them before their minds were wrecked, just to know them. The highlight of each visit was when his mother would give him a scrap of something, perhaps a sweet wrapper or a slip of parchment. Neville knew it was nothing, but it was so significant to him. Neville had a tin at home with each piece from his mother in. It gave him hope that she knew who he was. Her son.
Neville sighed and opened his eyes, only to meet pale blue ones staring straight back at him.
With a yelp, Neville scrambled back in surprise. Luna Lovegood regarded him curiously. Neville remembered Luna from the coach ride into school, but they hadn't spoken since. To be honest with himself, Neville found her a little creepy, but his upbringing from his Gran told him to be polite.
"Oh. Hullo Luna…" Neville gave a small smile, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.
Luna only solemnly stared at him a moment longer before replying with: "Your head is full of Wrackspurts." With that, the Ravenclaw drifted away, leaving a confused and slightly disturbed Neville behind.
Shaking himself slightly, he turned at the sound of footsteps running in his direction. Hannah ran towards him wearing jeans and a sweater with a red coat and black knitted hat. Her hair was braided in pigtails, like when she was younger, which made Neville smile slightly.
"Neville! Have you been waiting too long?" Hannah breathlessly said when she finally reached him, her cheeks slightly pink.
"No, I only just got here. Shall we go?" Neville asked.
With a nod of Hannah's head, the pair left the Entrance Hall and started towards Hogsmeade. A little ahead of them, Neville saw Harry, Ron and Hermione, so he nudged Hannah.
"Hey - it's Harry. Don't you think he looks nervous?" Neville whispered after taking in his paleness.
"Yeah you're right. I have a feeling this was Hermione's idea…" Hannah said with an extremely thoughtful look on her face.
Neville found himself asking at her pensive expression, "Hannah, is something wrong?" but he immediately regretted it as he remembered last time he asked that question.
Hannah clearly remembered it too, and even though they had seemed to have gotten past it, Hannah was obviously still embarrassed about fainting on Neville. With pink cheeks, she replied, "Nothing, I'm fine." and then turned her eyes back on to the road ahead.
Neville was experienced in the 'I'm fine' routine, as it was one he did himself all the time. Having never told anyone about his parents, when he seemed down and someone was nice enough to ask, he didn't trust them or himself enough to tell them, so he never did. Neville was never ashamed of his parents, he was proud that they stood up against You-Know-Who. However, he never allowed himself to get close to anyone, afraid that they'd judge him and consequently push him away. Therefore, he knew Hannah was not 'fine', her body language was defensive and she used a mask over her facial features. Only because he was experienced, Neville could spot a crack in that mask. He could tell she was hurting inside. Now it was just the small task of getting her to open up.
Neville turned his concerned eyes downwards to Hannah. Her pigtails came past her shoulders, each golden strand perfectly woven in. Her cheeks and nose glowed from the brisk October air, and her lips were chapped from her worrying them down. Her eyes faced forwards, resolutely staying on the path ahead of them, but she seemed to be aware of Neville's stare, as she began to bite her lip even further.
"Don't do that." Neville blurted, shocking himself. Hannah's amber eyes snapped up to his again in confusion.
"Do what?"
"Uh… forget it, sorry."
"No, honestly, what?"
"I just… can't bear to see you biting your lip like that. I've noticed it's a habit of yours and I couldn't say why, but it just really annoys me…" Neville said blushing, and avoiding her eyes as they continued down the path.
After a few moments of silence passed, Neville decided to risk a glance back at the blonde beside him. To his bewilderment, Hannah had a small smile on her face and was visibly relaxing. That is, before Ben Swann ran up behind Neville.
Hannah didn't know why, but at Neville's statement, she smiled. She found it sweet that he'd picked up on her habit, and that in itself was quite weird for her. Neville seemed quite embarrassed, but he turned back to her and looked as if he wanted to say more, when a gloved hand clapped Neville on the back.
"Neville, mate, I see you got yourself a date!"
Ben Swann grinned up at Neville, who only frowned slightly back at him before remembering to smile weakly. Ben turned to Hannah, and the smile slid off his face, replacing it with a frown, red colouring his cheeks in anger.
"What are you doing here?" He demanded in a very Ben-like way.
Hannah felt herself be crushed even further. Ben had been doing this all month with different girls, trying to make Hannah jealous while insulting her. Hannah had had enough though. This was too far. Not in front of Neville. Go on, he deserves it. The Voice whispered.
Neville. Suddenly, Hannah had an idea, but it was one she felt she'd regret.
With a deep breath, Hannah summoned as much courage as she could muster before coldly replying, "Me and Neville are clearly on a date here Ben, so if you wouldn't mind leaving, we'll be off."
Looping her arm through an astonished Neville, she sweetly smiled up at him and then proceeded to glare at her Ex.
A vein seemed to appear on Ben's forehead, bulging slightly, as he replied. "Well that's just amazing, because Lavender and I are also on a date."
Revealing a girl standing behind him with her hand tightly clutched in his own, he gave a nasty grin.
Hannah's world seemed to shatter as she eyed the simpering girl beside her Ex-boyfriend. Lavender had an extremely short skirt on, and a very red lipstick adorned her lips. She clutched at Ben's arm, and stood close to him. Too close. Hannah wasn't jealous, but this was exactly the sort of thing Ben would do.
Ignoring Neville's confusion, Hannah managed a big smile. Throwing back her head, she laughed, to Ben's obvious anger and Lavender's annoyance.
"And what is so funny?" Lavender asked as the group stopped in the middle of the path. She threw back her light brown ringlets and arched a perfect eyebrow. This was so Ben.
"Oh, I'm sorry it's just-" Hannah continued to laugh almost manically. "You see, Ben here approached me last week in the exact same way, just with Pavarti Patil on his arm!" Hannah watched Lavender's expression turn sour and Ben's vein bulge as his face turned purple. His eyes bugged out slightly as he gestured for Hannah to shut up, but Hannah only laughed harder. "And he hasn't told you! Oh Lavender- I'm so sorry but Ben is only doing this to try and get me back. He's done it so much to me, it's just sad now you know?"
Hannah knew exactly what she was doing. In past years she was a gossip, a terrible person, and she did this sort of thing all the time. Hating herself the whole time, Hannah continued. Lavender Brown was one of the main sources of all the Hogwarts gossip, so this would ruin Ben.
Hannah was just about to expertly deliver the final blow, when Neville intervened.
"Actually, I think Hannah and I had better go. We have things to do you know?" Neville grasped Hannah's hand and tugged her away, leaving an outraged Ben and a rattled Lavender in the middle of the path, Hogwarts students weaving around them.
As Neville marched them into the town, Hannah looked up to see his furious expression. Hannah never had seen him look like this, and frankly, she was terrified.
Neville proceeded to storm past the first few shops and into the nearest alleyway, ignoring a group of third years whispering after them.
Neville planted them by a doorway, oblivious to their hands still being intertwined. Hannah looked up at Neville shocked and was surprised to see a glint of anger in Neville's usually calm dark eyes. That was when Hannah began to cry.
Neville was absolutely furious with Hannah. How could she use his friend like that? Ben was completely in the wrong, but Hannah almost artfully struck him down, and could've ended his reputation. He had never seen Hannah be so cruel, and she wasn't like the girl he knew. As he charged into the village with Hannah, his mind raged. Did he even really know her at all? She was just like those girls. He thought she was different to Lavender and Pavarti but she almost seemed crueler. As if she'd done this all her life. Neville needed answers, so he dragged her into a nearby alley and shoved the two of them into a deserted doorway.
Mind burning, he finally looked down at Hannah, to see her looking broken, her mask finally ripped off completely. His heart broke at the sight.
And then she burst into tears.
And his rage disappeared completely in that instant.
He opened his arms and she stepped into them, burrowing her face into his chest as she sobbed. Slowly, Neville sat them down on the step and stroked her hair as she continued to cry. This wasn't her. Something was definitely wrong.
Hannah and Neville sat like that for a good ten minutes, neither speaking as she let the tears fall. After those ten minutes, Hannah sniffled and slowly raised her head from his chest. Her eyes were red and she looked completely shattered.
"I-I'm sorry…" she whispered, staring at the bottom step intently.
"Hannah, I could tell there was something wrong as soon as we started walking down. This isn't you. Please, let me help. I'm guessing you haven't told anyone, so you need someone. It doesn't have to be me, it could be Evie, or Ernie, or whoever, but please somebody."
Neville's hand was still on the back of her neck, but he didn't move it, knowing the solidarity it provided. They also still hadn't let go of each others hands. Hannah seemed to realise this at the same moment, as she quickly withdrew it. Knowing that she probably felt awkward about his hand still at her back, he reluctantly removed it too, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable.
"It's ok… I'd prefer to talk to y-you if you don't mind?" Hannah stuttered.
"Of course." Neville said in surprise.
"I've been h-hearing this v-voice. I heard it a lot l-last year, and only Cedric could make it stop. He was like a b-brother to me…" Hannah began shakily. "The voice has come b-back, and he's gone now and I-" a fresh wave of tears began, and she latched onto Neville's jumper once again, Neville staying silent as he held her.
Hannah drew back again after a moment and continued. "The voice tells me I'm worthless, while also saying things that are in the back of my mind about other people. Things like nobody actually likes me, I'm going to fail, I'm going to become like- like I was… before." Hannah finished with a whisper.
"What were you like before?" Neville asked lowly.
"Well… you just saw a bit of it. I was such a gossip, a horrible person. Cedric didn't really realise what I was like until last year when he helped it stop. I could ruin people's reputations, but at the same time, I was easily led, believing in practically anything I was told. No one expected me to change, and neither did I, Cedric did. And now, people don't believe Potter, and I feel like if I hadn't have known Cedric as well as I did, and that I didn't feel that it was wrong about the accident, then I'd be just like everyone else, spreading lies about Potter and Dumbledore."
Hannah sniffled and leant her head on Neville's shoulder. "I'm sorry I acted like that…"
Neville was really concerned now. Hannah obviously had issues with the past, especially Cedric's recent murder, but now it was fuelling this voice.
"The voice…" Neville began as Hannah raised her head off his shoulder to meet his strong gaze. "How did Cedric get rid of it?"
Neville saw Hannah's blush, and knew that it was probably something really personal to her. He didn't want to push her but she needed help.
"W-well… he looked right into my eyes and told me that I was the most… uh… special person he knew and that he… l-loved me…" she trailed off, looking completely embarrassed, avoiding his gaze.
Neville set his jaw. If he had to do it to make Hannah feel better he would, but he couldn't lie and say something as special as that. He'd have to find his own way about it. Something seemed to stir within Neville, perhaps some Gryffindor spirit, but that seemed extremely unlikely, given that it was Neville.
Neville took Hannah's face in his hands and pulled her gaze back to him, gently.
"Hannah Abbott. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. You see me for me when I am overlooked as some guy who is useless at everything. Everywhere else, I lack confidence, but with you, I feel like I could say anything without feeling ashamed of myself. You're strong. You can fight this voice, because if this voice is telling you that you are worthless, then they are my greatest enemy. You are priceless, Hannah."
At his words, Hannah seemed to glow from the inside, something she hadn't done since Cedric. He didn't have to be like Cedric, because he was different, but a good different. He made her feel so important.
The voice seemed to leave her. It was a constant presence usually, always there, even if it didn't say anything. But now, it was gone, and relief flooded through Hannah.
She couldn't stop herself from launching herself into Neville's arms once again, no longer feeling any embarrassment around him, despite having practically blown her nose on him.
"Thank you…" Hannah whispered, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent of wood and nutmeg.
Feeling the solidarity of his hand on her back, she felt completely relaxed as he didn't say anything more.
Neville coughed, and Hannah sat up, noticing the teasing smirk playing on his face. "So… we were on a date then?"
Neville Longbottom…. Flirting? Hannah felt herself smile as he looked surprised at himself as well. She finally felt at ease with someone that wasn't Cedric, but this was in a different way. He wasn't her brother… she just didn't know what he was.
Suddenly, a jolt ran through her as she remembered something. Sitting up straighter, she half shouted, "Neville! Potter's meeting thingy!"
"Oh god! I completely forgot!" Neville almost whined at his mistake. "The time is…. 11:56. It starts at 12 Hannah!"
"Shit! Let's go then!" Pulling the two of them to their feet, Hannah grabbed Neville's hand and ran out into the now busy village high street.
They ran past Honeydukes, past The Three Broomsticks, and past their group of friends. Hannah spotted Evie on with her date, and she smacked her best friend on the head as they flew past, shooting away before Evie could realise what was happening. Laughing, they wove through groups of students, and dove into an alley and into a dingy pub named The Hog's Head.
The door creaked slightly as Neville and Hannah slipped inside the Hog's Head. The pub was dark and dirty , with only a couple of customers - a veiled lady and a bandaged man - along with the barman. The rough wooden tables were slightly damp with a single candle dripping with wax on each one. At the back of the room was a group of about 25 students in a huddle by the empty fireplace. Hannah released Neville's hand as they stepped into the back of the crowd, a crowd that surrounded Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger. As he did before, Harry looked uncomfortably pale and very unhappy, which made Hannah feel sorry for him. It couldn't be easy when half the school thought you were insane.
Hannah spotted Ernie, Justin, Evie and Susan standing in the crowd which confused her. They hadn't said a word to her about coming… perhaps they hadn't have wanted her to come at all? That question made Hannah's gut wrench, but surprisingly, the voice stayed silent. Neville was more effective than Cedric ever was, but she tried not to think of that.
Hermione cleared her throat and began shakily "Well ... erm ... well, you know why you're here. Erm ... well, Harry here had the idea – I mean I had the idea – that it might be good if people who wanted to study Defence Against the Dark Arts – and I mean, really study it, you know, not the rubbish that Umbridge is doing with us – because nobody could call that Defence Against the Dark Arts – Well, I thought it would be good if we, well, took matters into our own hands."
"And by that I mean learning how to defend ourselves properly, not just in theory but doing the real spells –"
"You want to pass your Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL?" said Michael Corner.
"Of course." Hermione replied. "But more than that, I want to be properly trained in defence because ... because …" she took a great breath and finished, "because Lord Voldemort is back."
Hannah flinched at the name, her mind instantly thinking of her sister and what had happened all those years ago. How she never knew Mary Abbott her sister who became an auror and was murdered when Hannah was only a baby. She shuddered, suddenly feeling very cold from the inside. Neville beside her looked terrified. A Ravenclaw girl screamed and spilt butterbeer all over herself.
"Well ... that's the plan, anyway," said Hermione. "If you want to join us, we need to decide how we're going to –"
"Where's the proof You-Know-Who's back?" said Zacharias.
"Well, Dumbledore believes it –" Hermione began.
"You mean, Dumbledore believes him." He argued back, nodding at Harry.
"Who are you?" Ron demanded.
"Zacharias Smith," said the boy, "and I think we've got the right to know exactly what makes him say You-Know-Who's back."
"Look," said Hermione, intervening swiftly, "that's really not what this meeting was supposed to be about –"
"It's OK, Hermione," said Harry.
"What makes me say You-Know-Who's back?" he asked, looking Zacharias straight in the face. "I saw him. But Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, and if you didn't believe him, you won't believe me, and I'm not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone."
Hannah felt almost held still by Potter's words, and it was like she'd been told off.
Zacharias said, "All Dumbledore told us last year was that Cedric Diggory got killed by You-Know-Who and that you brought Diggory's body back to Hogwarts. He didn't give us details, he didn't tell us exactly how Diggory got murdered, I think we'd all like to know –"
"If you've come to hear exactly what it looks like when Voldemort murders someone I can't help you," Harry said. "I don't want to talk about Cedric Diggory, all right?"
Hannah almost sighed in relief. The whole time Zach was speaking, she felt as if she was being constricted, like a rope was being tightened around her chest, squeezing life from her. It broke her heart when all that he wanted to know was about Cedric, just to know the truth, when bigger things were at stake. Hannah knew that Cedric would have wanted her to defend herself against You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters, especially after what happened to him.
"So if that's what you're here for, you might as well clear out." Harry looked absolutely deadly at that moment, firing daggers at Hermione.
Hannah knew when he said that, that no one was actually going to leave. Now, everyone, even Zacharias Smith, wanted to stay and learn.
Everyone seemed to feel the same, as Susan asked "Is it true that you can produce a Patronus?"
The group then continued to contribute things that Harry Potter had achieved. He had slayed a Basilisk, survived three tasks in the Triwizard Tournament, he saved the Philosopher's stone from You-Know-Who. At each thing mentioned, Hannah felt even more awestruck. All her doubt from before vanished as she listened to what he had done. It was all true. He could definitely teach them. And now she was compelled to learn.
Hermione held up a piece of parchment and said "Who's going to join then?" with a weak smile.
There was a moment of frantic scrambling before a line was assembled. Hannah again caught a glimpse of her Hufflepuff friends, and felt a twist of betrayal. That was all her friends, all of them lying to her. Did they not think she was capable? It only crushed her further, until she was horrified to hear the Voice. Of course they thought you were weak. Even your best friend didn't see fit to tell you. A twist of anger formed in the bottom of her stomach.
Near the end of the line, she watched as Susan, then Justin, then Ernie and then Evie signed on the parchment in Hermione's hand. They hadn't quite noticed Hannah yet. Perhaps they wouldn't notice at all. As the queue moved forwards, Hannah made sure that Neville obscured her from view of her friends. Chattering, the four moved past them, waving to Neville and saying they'd meet him in the Three Broomsticks (the Hog's Head barman gave a grunt at this).
As Padma Patil signed the contract, Neville turned to Hannah. "I had no idea that they would be here. Did you know?"
"No. No I didn't." Hannah icily replied feeling the warmth of their earlier conversation slipping away.
Neville finally reached the front of the line, and signed his name. With a smile to Hermione, he stepped to the side for Hannah. Hannah took the quill and stared stonily at the paper below, at her friends names. How could they? Hannah signed her name quickly and briefly looked up at Harry. He was watching her with his emerald eyes, seeming to pierce her soul, almost as if he knew exactly what was going on. With a small smile, Hannah straightened up and left the shabby Inn with Neville, her mind still reeling from the betrayal.
Stepping out into the chill Autumn air, Hannah exhaled, trying to cool her mind, before turning to Neville.
"Hey I think I'm just going to go back up to the castle. I'm very tired and I just want to rest. You go on ahead." She smiled as sweetly as she could, putting up a front for him.
"If you're sure…" Neville anxiously replied.
With a nod of her head, Neville began to reluctantly trek over to the other pub. Hannah couldn't hold her anger in much longer, so began to march back up to the classroom. The dormitory would be empty, so she would be able to let out her anger in peace.
Hannah broke into a run, occasionally stumbling over some rocks and cursing loudly, frightening some fourth years going down to the village. Unable to stop the angry tears from falling, she abruptly stopped and heavily dropped onto a nearby rock. Vision blurred from crying, Hannah was unable to see the person creeping up behind her.
"Abbott!" Theodore Nott stood above Hannah, an ugly sneer on his face. "What are you doing out here all alone?"
"L-leave me alone Nott" Hannah hiccuped, desperately swiping at her eyes to rid herself of her tears. Standing quickly, black spots danced across her eyes, but she was determined not to be belittled by the Slytherin.
Nott seemed to only just realise she was crying, as his mouth fell open in surprise at her red face.
"Hannah?" He quietly asked her name.
Theodore Nott hadn't used her name like that for years. Hannah and Nott were once very close, their parents attending the same pureblood conventions. The Abbott family were one of the 'sacred 28' pureblood families. Even though Hannah herself was half-blood, her mother insisted her presence at the conventions. The family was constantly ridiculed for Hannah's muggleborn father, but still, Hannah's mother demanded they go. Hannah and her mother still went, even when the other purebloods tried to curse them, even when Hannah's father was attacked so that he spent a year at St Mungo's. Hannah's mother had a sense of duty, a duty to go to the conventions to show the other families that she was the same as them and that she would not be scared off. The parties themselves were bleak, and, because it was after the first war that they went, a lot of the usual families were in prison. Hannah, Theo and Draco would run and play in the back garden or upstairs while the adults spoke about adult things. Of course, when Draco was old enough to understand the 'differences' in Hannah's blood, he refused to play any longer. Theo, being the child he was, copied Draco, and the two of them shunned Hannah from playing with them. At ten years old, Hannah was now forced downstairs with the adults, where she was picked on and insulted. After a few parties without her friends, Hannah could no longer stand going, and refused, staying at home with her father. Her mother never really spoke to Hannah properly after that. Now, when she saw Theodore and Draco, she was only reminded of blood statuses and that it needed to change.
Therefore, she would not let Theo see her in her weakness.
"Leave me alone Th- Nott." Hannah cried, beginning to stomp back up to the castle.
"Please Hannah, just tell me what's wrong."
Hannah stopped in her tracks. How could he be so concerned for her after abandoning her at the social events? He was the reason that she and her mother hardly spoke anymore. Slowly, she twisted to look back at him and scoffed.
"You lost that right when we were ten years old, Theo. You abandoned me for your parents to—"
"Hannah please! Please, I can't stand to see you like this."
"Oh just stay away from me!" Hannah spat, and she finally turned and sprinted, tears falling faster than before now.
Reaching the castle, she ran through the echoing corridors, down the familiar route towards her common room. She tore through the round room, past curious first and second years, straight into her room, slamming the door. With a sob, she hurled her body onto her bed and shut the curtains around her. At last, she could just be alone, alone to cry.
Please review!