Thanks for reading this! It's really short, but I still hope you enjoy it! :)
"Your just a little lost is all." My mom whispered early in the morning as I leave to go hunting. Lost? Lost doesn't even describe it. I don't know what to do. I've broken way to many hearts and where am I supposed to go now? What am I supposed to do? I can't truly live my life. Even though I've left I'm still there, in those moments, living them over and over again. Rue dying, Peeta close to death, the sad inhuman sounds that Cato made in his last moments, I'm still there. Sure the Capitol says I'm a victor, that I over-powered all those things, but I'm not, I might as well just be another forgotten tribute. "You shouldn't go today. Prim has no school; she misses you. Besides we have the food. We'll survive." My mom grabs my arm, pulling me once again into reality.
"What about the Hawthorne's they depend on me." I say. It's only been a week since all the cameras have packed up and left. My mom had heard me screaming again. Lost in a nightmare. She only now has confronted that I have a problem. That I'm "lost".
"Honey, you had a large haul yesterday, they'll be fine as well. You had a hard night." I have a hard night every night. I try to keep my screams down, most nights she doesn't hear, but Prim does. She comes in almost every morning and hugs me, they don't come as often any more, but they help. "Maybe you could go visit Peeta." She offers. She doesn't know the pain I see in his eyes every time I look at him. And to know it's all caused by me; I can't stand it. He probably can't stand me anymore. I'm just a big ball of disappointment in his eyes.
"No I'll just stay, I'll stay with Prim today." I say. I brighten my face to show my mom that I'm okay. She doesn't read too much into me and she never has. It's moments like these that I wish my dad was here to ask what's wrong. To just be there for me. I could always count on him. I walk away and go to freshen up. I need to put on a different face for the world. A face the world wants. The face of a victor.
I hope you liked it! Don't forget to check out my other fanfics! Don't forget to REVIEW on the way out! Thanks -boywithbreadlover