Chapter1:
Genre: AU, AR, OOC, attempted humor, crack, romance, wierd/randomness. boylovedon't like this please don't read then complain there are good Het fics to read.
Note: The boys have slight powers if you must. 0t5 with a member switch, Kaidoh likes Inui. Momo likes Kaidoh & Inui. What! Oishi & Taka are dating. Fuji is mischievous as always, no suprise there. I like unusual couples.(Do not own jeopardy theme or monopoly)
(This story under went a bit reconstruction & editing as of Oct. 1st, added more to chaps 1 & 2.)the rest of the regulars were missing.)
When you gotta go, you just have to!
by Amainage
"I have to use the facilities..where's th-" said Kaidoh
"Stop dancing around like that you've been whining for the last five minutes, it's annoying ore-sama." said Atobe
Kaidoh continues dancing in place, face flushed, looking around desperately for a toilet.
What! no portable bathrooms. Thats just like Atobe-kun, he probably thinks they're beneath him"Kaidoh
" But I really have to" Kaidoh stated.
"I shouldn't have agreed to come see his 'precious' secluded beach tonight."Kaidoh
Kaidoh gets lost in his thoughts: Jeopardy theme plays in background doo do doo do..
It was their summer vacation and they were spending it at the summer home of Tezuka, Echizen, Eiji and Fuji's boyfriend Atobe. Echizen wouldn't arrive until tomorrow due to his flight having been delayed, he'd been invited to a tournament in America. He called and let them now he managed to win and in addition to the hefty prize money a sponship by Nobi Sports Apparel & Equiptment was offered. And of course Atobe had them investigated and his big wig team helped negotiate the contract via video conference. No one messed with his brat(Ryoma) or kitten(Eiji) It was funny how his protective hackles went up when it was something to do with those two though he was subtle and would deny it if pointed out. brbrHow they got together and stayed together for four years and counting was beyond him sometimes. How Eiji fit in there was also a mystery, he must have acrobatted (Is that even a word, Kaidoh wondered) his way into their hearts, their love for him was plain to see. It gave him courage. He would try and tell the one he liked about his feelings and hope that it to would work out. Correction make that tomorrow or erm..the day after. Well, he'd do it eventually. If the quiet seemingly emotionless Echizen could do it there was hope, heck Oishi puts up with Taka. Inui could like me, right? hmm.
A gong sounds. And we thank you. dun dun dun ..Theme song ends.
"idata.." Inui mumbles as he whips out his black note book plus a pen and wrote down that the american theme song for Jeopardy quiz show plays when Kaidoh is deep in thought. Hmm.. maybe my drinks are finally getting to me and I'm now hearing things. He quickly dismissed it for the Probability of that was 0.1 percent. He had heard correctly another cute thing about Kaidoh to be added to his secret list. He saw the others glancing at Kaidoh smiling but otherwise left the boy to his thoughts.
"Now that was suprising' whispered Kawamura nudging his boyfriend Syuichiroh. Who in turn nodded and replied "Wonder what's on his mind"
"The theme from 'Jaws' seems more fitting or 'Anaconda'" laughed Momoshiro.
Oishi smacked him upside the head. "He's a nice guy, please don't tell me after all these years the rest of the gang and I are the only ones to know"
"Ouch" Momo rubbed the back of his head "I know, I'm not stupid" A few seconds passed "But you have to admit 'Jaws' playing would have been more fitting for him"
"Shut up" Oishi and Taka said at the same time. Taking turns Oishi smacked him up side the head again and Taka punched him in the arm both were smiling mischieviously as they glanced at each other before turning .
"Aww isn't sweet that you care about what's good for Kaidoh" Oishi teased in a whisper.
"One would think that you like him" Taka teased him as well. "What! no I don't like him" Momo whispered trying to look offended.
"Then why are you whispering an.."started Oishi.
"And turning red" Taka finished his boyfriend sentence.
Now all three were smiling two in amusement and one in embarrassment. The whole converstation had turned to whispers.
"I do not like the Sniper all right" Momo denied. Kaidoh got that nickname in college due to his deadly pinpoint accuracy on the court. Momo quickly changed the subject and what they'd been talking about ealier was soon forgotten.
"72 percent chance he may go on himself." Inui concluded out loud. He knew his Kouhai would defy his
"Just do it in the bushes or behind a tree over there" said Fuji. Smiling wickedly. Gesturing towards a cluster of trees shrouded in darkness.
He new Kaidoh would be afraid, Fuji had seen his reaction to the horror picture he'd chosen earlier, though nothing showed for long on Kaidoh's face it was obvious through his actions, he had trembled slightly and inched closer to Inui who had been too engrossed in the movie to notice. It would be fun to taunt him and see that scared look on his face like he had earlier before he concealed it. It was kinda cute. Kaidoh's brow furrowed and his lips puckered slightly in apprehension. "Ah...there it goes" Fuji thought his smile widened as Kaidoh's expression changed.
"Fshh" Kaidoh
He was NOT going in there, Kaidoh racked his brain for plausable excuses. It reminded him of that scene where the killer jumped out and flayed everyone in that horror movie they'd watched earlier. Maybe if Inui stood guard. Hmm...being seen cowering in the bush by his crush scratch that, he'd die of embarrassment. And there was No Way he was letting on that he was nervous about going over there so, instead Kaidoh settled with saying "Unsanitary"
A growl was heard from Atobe as he waded in from the water. He landed on his butt grasping his right
"Oi, Atobe-kun got bit by a jelly fish." Eiji yelled and ran to Keigo's side.
"Atobe-sama demands to know how to counteract this." roared Keigo.
Suddenly their university's cheering squad ran past singing "All bow to his royal highness Atobe-sama" "You must obey!, You must obey!" the guys watched with bulging eyes and gaping mouths as the team dissapeared can-caning up the hill.
After fixing thier eyes and remembering that the squad had been invited to train at the villa during the summer, things quickly returned to normal.
Whispering was heard after Eiji was pulled aside by Inui. Eiji listened intently and then pointed at Kaidoh. Atobe overhears and is not amused. Soon after Eiji runs after Kaidoh.
Eiji glomps Kaidoh, who had begun making the one mile trek towards Atobe's villa.
"Piss. Not. on...ore-sama" said Keigo.
"That's the only way" said Fuji. His eyes in little slits, a quick flash of cerulean was seen as his smile grew wider.
After untangling him from Eiji, Fuji dragged a struggling Kaidoh back to the scene of the crime. He whispered in Kaidoh's ear assuring him that he shouldn't feel bad, he's helping Atobe-kun. "Besides" he smiled "When you gotta go, you just have to, after all it's part of nature."
"...." Kaidoh.
Rumbles of laughter could be heard as everyone but Kaidoh quickly turns away.
"Don't you dare" warned Atobe "He's really going to pe.."
"NOOOO...!!" Shouted Atobe covering his eyes.
Tezuka floats up to the beach in a sailboat, he hops off onto the sand behind them
"50 laps" rang out
"NYA..." yelled a startled Eiji
After running laps...(sometimes Tezuka just morphed into captain mode and even when they are no where near a tennis court, for some reason they just couldn't not obey him) the gang returned to the mansion with everyone going off to take everyone gathered in the living room. A game of monopoly was suggested by Taka he enjoyed the game and he collected different themes of it based on his interest. Oishi, Eiji and Momo got into it and they played at least once a week, sometimes more with him. They played together so often that they were nicknamed the Monopoly Squad. As a joke Fuji filled out club request for them but it back fired and got approved
"I got the hat" said Eiji
"I'm always the car" said Taka. "Give me the boot" said Momo
"Gladly" Fuji said as he walked to the front door opened it and made a grand gesture towards the outdoors.
"Don't forget to write" with a gleeful smile on his face he waved goodbye to Momo. The room filled with laughter.
"Your so funny" Momo replied sarcastically then he laughed as he rolled his eyes.
"As I was about to say before we were so rudely interupted-" Oishi smirked looking at Fuji "I get the horse, alright let's get started" He walked over to the mahogany table and helped his boyfriend finish setting up. The four of them Oishi, Taka, Eiji and Momo quickly settled into a game. Fuji closed the door, locked it then and went to sit on the couch where Atobe and Tezuka were seated next to each other. Kaidoh and Inui were seated on the fluffy carpet in front of the couch. As soon as he was close enough Tezuka pulled him on to his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him. Atobe put his hand on Fuji's left knee gaining his attention when Fuji turned to look at him Atobe kissed him on the lips "Bad kitten" whispered. Fuji just smiled and nibbled on Atobe's bottom lip.
"Ore-sama wants to watch a movie, what's the hold up?" he inquired of Inui who had taken five movies off the shelf and had yet to put anything on. Inui sat crossed legged on the gold shaggy carpet with his back against the plush white couch he appeared to be analyzing each one. Inui just snorted in reply to Atobe and went back to mumbling about the percentage of the four of them enjoying each movie together before finally settling on a comedy and put it on. The monopoly game raged on in the background while they talked and watched the movie until grumbles of hunger put a stop to that. Fuji later wandered somewhat reluctantly into the kitchen to make dinner, this resulted after Inui said he would cook.
Inui's horrible tasting health drinks were world renowned he'd marketed them his freshman year of college and now in his third year at Kouryuu University the montrasities were making him rich mainly because of their use by the sports industry. Trainers and coaches swore by them not only because of the multitude of nutrients but because they could keep even the most unmotivated, lazy or unruly athlete in line.
There were possible side affects to Inui's Drinks: fainting, occasional nosebleeds at time of consumption, light abdominal cramping although rare, stomach aches very common and nausea. His creations naturally prompted a state investigation but not a single illegal substance or unatural ingredient were found.
They all went to the same school now and due to Inui's unrestricted access the school's science labs and their misfortune of having him as a trainer for the tennis team; they were used as occasional guinea pigs and couldn't see how people survived his drinks.
Needless to say Inui's annoucement caused a chain of fearful reactions to occur. Oishi and Taka turned green and Momo contemplated giving Taka a racket. With a glomp to rival all glomps in recorded history Eiji stalled Inui and Kaidoh pounced thus the unpresidented wrestling force of Eiji and Kaidoh was formed making quick work of subduing Inui who'd been heading to the kitchen to cook only Merlin knows what. An unanimous vote was quickly held, a barked order from Tezuka soon followed, then a unceremonious shove toward the kitchen by Atobe sent the elected Fuji on his way.
Fuji had been the one to convinced the diva to give the help a much needed vacation and now it had blew up in his face. He thought he had kept his prowess in the kitchen a well guarded secret. But unfortunately as he'd learned tonight his brother let it slip on his birthday, Ryoma had inquired where Yuuta gotten the bento and lemon squares they'd been sharing and Yuuta happily explained that his brother cooked it as a gift. Ryoma later told Kunimitsu who had kept the knowledge to himself until now.
Everyone and their stomachs were internally greatful to Tezuka for giving up said knowledge as they chowed down on buckwheat noodle salad with tofu and soy-chilli dressing and fought over the highly requested lemon squares. Momo had tried to gobble down all the lemon squares but was grabbed by Oishi, glared at by Kaidoh and threatened with a glass of green bubbling liquid by Inui. Momo slowly put the tray down "Uh..there will b-be no need for that" he said looking pale grabbing only two squares this time before fleeing to the other end of the dinning table and set next to Oishi for safety. 'Idiot" Kaidoh mumbled with a smile and went back to munching on his noodles. Everyone laughed at poor Momo and went back to eating.
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Fuji's Recipe Nook and Cranny:
Japanese buckwheat noodle salad with tofu and soy-chilli dressing
For the dressing: 2 tsp. castor sugar 1 tbsp. light soy sauce 1 tbsp. Chinese cooking wine 2 tsp. sesame oil 2 small red chillies, deseeded and diced
For the salad:125g soba noodles 100g snow peas half, red capsicum, finely diced 1 carrot, shredded 2 Lebanese cucumbers, thinly sliced 4 red shallots, thinly sliced 2-3 tbsp coriander, chopped 1 tbsp. Vietnamese mint (optional), chopped 250g firm silken tofu fried shallots, to serve.
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Do to demand and blackmailed laced tennis matches with his boyfriends, Fuji released his first cookbook three months later with another scheduled to follow and of course he made Inui agree to carry them in his shops. It suprised everyone that not all of the dishes he specialized in contained wasabi.
-owari-
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Welcome to Amainage's Unnecessary Definition Corner:
Flayed: to burst, tear; To skin; to strip off the skin or surface of.
Kouryuu - hidden genius
-Internally instead of eternally was used purposely
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Chapter 2 (Interogation):
While dropping off recipes for his next cookbook Fuji makes a discovery involving Kaidoh and Inui and decides to investigate.