Summary: Mary-Sue Fiction. In which Kagome mourns the loss of the premature death of her correcting pen, review is spelled "revue", and where the Mary-Sue…smile dies.
A/N: I really have no idea where this came from. But perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I've been searching endlessly through the Inuyasha parody category to find some decent Mary Sue fictions. And I did- tons of them. They're on my favorites list now.
I figure every author has to have one of these, just for the hell of it. It's nothing exciting; just my idea of what would happen if a Mary Sue came across the Inu-tachi. As I've stated before, I know I suck at comedy. Even though this is all but a drabble, I still would appreciate criticism.
Disclaimer: I own the quite empty-headed Mary Sue here. -holds up the girl by the cheek, swinging her around- But nothing else.
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Shiver in the Sue-niverse
It was all but a regular day that seemed to have dawned upon the Sengoku Jidai. The weather was perfect; an azure sky seemed to have engulfed all the radiance of the sun and was extending far towards the mountains, over the forests, spreading good cheer among the land. The day was cloudless, and the people across the countryside were enjoying the summer day, along with the occasional Northern wind to cool things down.
For Inuyasha and his companions, nothing much seemed to be in store today. There were no sightings of demons that needed to be exterminated, nor of foolish, power-hungry humans who had come across a shard of the Shikon no Tama. More importantly, there was no rumor of Naraku or of any of his underlings.
There was nothing planned for them today, except for that which the cruelest Fate had ruled.
A young woman sat high in the lofty branches and brisk shade of the Goshinboku, examining her reflection in one of the pair of the new twin swords she had just picked up from an expert blacksmith this morning. The beautiful craft work showed an enticing young girl with a silky mane of black hair, tied into two rather strange-looking loops just at the bottom of her neck, below where a human's ears would be.
Speaking of ears, her tan ones sat contentedly on the top of her head, tweaking one direction at the sound of a bird's chirp. She had an aquiline face, accented by a perfect smile with perfect teeth. Her eyes, at the moment, were a strikingly bright emerald green. However, due to the gift that her godparents had bestowed on her, she could change them at will.
Oddly, she wore a costume very similar to what Kagome often wore, except with a blue collar and a matching blue skirt. A little surprising to be seen in such clothes in this era, but, after all, this girl had come from modern day Japan, just like her, and had fallen into a time portal, just like her. She had lived a normal, extremely boring life in Tokyo, not existing in any enthusiasm except for her embodiment as an incredible writer.
That was the life she lived until she fell into an open sewer hole at a construction site. Once having entered the Sengoku Jidai, she immediately found, to her delight, that she was not a human, but an inu-hanyou. She was taken care of an elderly old couple who turned out to be a sorcerer and sorceress and also her godparents.
She had stayed with them, learning swordplay and archery, until she decided that life was boring as well. She had learned all she could from them; now was the time to find her purpose in the world. In Tokyo, it had been only to self-insert herself into the plots of her fandom, but now…
It was to find her soulmate.
And who better to fit that position than another inu-hanyou?
Thus began the adventures of Marisu-hime, as she called herself. She traveled far and wide across Sengoku Jidai, bringing the demise of a few demons enticed by her beauty and her prowess. Marisu traveled until she found Kaede's village, which brings us to where our heroine is sitting in the Goshinboku.
Suddenly, her incredibly acute half-demon nose picked up the smell of the Inu-tachi…
A satisfied little smirk crossed her features.
Her soulmate was awaiting.
Marisu began flying on the tops of the trees (well, not really flying, but jumping with agile and graceful ability) towards the Bone Eater's Well.
When Inuyasha and his friends finally came into sight, she sat on top of the high tree branches, gazing down at them.
"Hey, Kagome! What took you so long?" Inuyasha said, looking rather annoyed while heaving the girl's huge boulder of a backpack onto the side.
"A test; you know that, Inuyasha. I warned you before leaving," replied the girl Kagome rather dryly.
Inuyasha "feh"ed.
What a sniping little wench! So ungrateful of the hanyou.
The kitsune named Shippou clambered up onto Kagome's shoulders. "Didja get me any lollipops, Kagome?" he asked.
The girl smiled. "Sure. They're in my bag, somewhere."
The fox grinned and bounded away, beginning to search for his treats. Miroku and Sango greeted Kagome warmly.
However, Inuyasha just cocked his head and sniffed the air as if he smelled something foul. Finally, his head turned to face Marisu's direction, eyes narrowing.
Beaming, she shot out of the particular tree she had been waiting in to make her spectacular entrance, somersaulting in the air once or twice before landing neatly on her feet in front of the group.
Everyone seemed to stiffen a little, recognizing her as a half-demon. Then Inuyasha's hand darted to the hilt of Tetsusaiga, the demon slayer's to the strap of her oversized weapon, and the monk's hand tightened around his staff. Kirara suddenly was growling in her larger form; the miko and kitsune were the only ones who had not taken hostile responses to her arrival. Perhaps that was because they were the most harmless.
Kagome was eyeing Marisu's schoolgirl uniform. "Wait, Inuyasha!" she shouted. "Let's listen to what she has to say."
Marisu smirked slyly, showing her teeth. "I'm not here to fight, though if you want to, I will."
"Then state why you are here," the monk spoke, and everyone seemed to nod in silent agreement to that statement.
Marisu smiled even wider, throwing what seemed to be a seductive glance at Inuyasha. "I have been admiring you from my perch, Lord Inuyasha. I'm here to make you mine."
Slowly, their mouths dropped open. Both Shippou and Kirara held a puzzled look; Kirara, seeming to sense no threat, disappeared in a whisk of fire and flame and mewed as her smaller cat form. Much to Marisu's flared annoyance.
Inuyasha and Kagome both went red on Marisu's behalf, though she didn't seem embarrassed at all.
"What's kind of stupid nonsense is this wench spouting?" Inuyasha spat.
"Yeah," put in Kagome shrilly, "coming in here, saying that like you even know Inuyasha! He won't let himself be owned!"
Sango and Miroku, who were simply listening, thought they heard a bit of a resemblance in Kagome's voice now to Inuyasha's voice whenever Kouga happened to show up.
"On the contrary, I know him very well," said Marisu matter-of-factly.
Then she went on to relay the things she had learned from her craze of the Inuyasha fandom in Tokyo, and quite accurately.
"Oh, and your haori's pink in the manga," she finished, pointing at Inuyasha's clothes.
They all stared at her as if she was some strange apparition.
"What! I never wear fucking pink, you fool!" Inuyasha argued indignantly.
"Yeah," Kagome reasoned, "look at it, it's red!"
He looked at her for a second. It was rare that they agreed so wholeheartedly to one side of the argument.
"Nevertheless," said Sango, a bit of common sense lining her words, "she's probably not a fool if she was able to find us here."
Inuyasha's look said otherwise.
"It's only logical," said the girl, taking on an demeaning tone, "that two hanyous should marry each other, isn't it?"
"Marry you?" Inuyasha asked incredulously. Aside from winning his heart, marriage was a whole different story. This girl was racing through her ideas to fast for him to consider them.
Not that he'd want to, of course.
"Yes. Me, Marisu-hime, of the Northern Lands," she said, attempting to sound regal.
"Meaning you're a princess of the Northern Lands? Because you look like some freak from Kagome's time!" Inuyasha shouted.
"How dare you call me a freak..." Marisu-hime menaced quietly. "You of all people! You are a hanyou as well, and I thought you would accept me and love me."
"Feh," replied Inuyasha simply. "You are a freak."
"I am the most credible fighter of the Northern Lands," the girl seethed. "And if you trod on my honor again, I will have to hurt you."
"Go ahead and try it, wench! We're in the Western Lands now, I'm sure you knew that!" he taunted.
"So you come from Kagome's time?" Miroku asked, walking forward, and kneeling beside the girl, whose eyes had turned a strange, crimson color. Sango looked quite livid, but the rest looked annoyed; despite the girl's shortcomings, she was attractive.
"That bouzu's gonna pull a fast one," whispered Inuyasha to Kagome.
She looked over at Sango, who seemed to be twitching, and replied, "Shhh, don't get her upset."
Meanwhile, Miroku had grabbed Marisu's hand and opened his mouth to say the words…
"I'm sorry to have to decline your request to bear your child, houshi-sama," replied the hanyou quite seriously, tipping her nose into the air. "I must marry in pure blood."
"Hah!"
Everyone turned. Inuyasha was laughing, seemingly mad. As in crazy mad.
"You're not pure blood to begin with, freak!" he taunted loudly.
There was a screech of metal as Marisu's reply. She had unsheathed one of her swords.
Inuyasha smiled determinedly.
"I doubt that she can even wield those," said Sango to Kagome.
"Fine! So you did come here to fight. I'll cut you down," said Inuyasha, pulling Tetsusaiga out of its sheath and holding it in front of him.
It was quite clear that Marisu recoiled and was shivering in fright. But she forced herself to speak.
"The terms are…" Marisu stated, "That if you win, I will let you go, and that if I win, you are to be my husband."
"Still hung up about that?" snarled Inuyasha. "Don't worry, you won't win."
"Don't be sure about what type of fighter I am just yet," replied Marisu. And with that, she shot up into the air elegantly in another flip before landing ten feet away from Inuyasha.
"This isn't acrobatics!" said Inuyasha, smirking and noting that, as close as the girl was to him, she seemed to have trouble attacking.
Then, suddenly, there was a small piff noise as something that had fallen out of the stranger's quiver in mid-air touched to the ground. However, it wasn't an arrow.
Shippou darted out to retrieve the parchment, then scrambled up to Kagome's shoulders to hand it to the miko.
"What's this?" asked Kagome, peering at the text curiously.
Marisu blushed furiously. "Don't read that! Don't read that or I'll-"
"You'll what?" Inuyasha interrupted. "Go dig a whole? Learn how to fight? Kill us in our beds? Go away?" He gave her a rather insolent glare. "What? Go on and finish."
"Hmmm, it's fanfiction," said Kagome pointedly.
"I'll…Oh, I don't care! Go ahead and read it," the girl huffed to Kagome, who had already spread it out for everyone to see. Even Inuyasha walked over to see what was written, sheathing his sword. Marisu stood alone on the clearing, muttering words to herself.
"Maybe it's just me…But she's pretending as if she doesn't want us to see it," said Sango, putting a hand on her hip and looking back at the withdrawn girl.
"But she does, she's proud of it," said Kagome, pointing. "Look."
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a/n: JunsuiLove here! well this is my vrry first story!11 so plz b nice to me or else! I will hunt u down and stufff…haha lol just fooling!1 also dun 4get to R&r…OR ELSE I WILL EET YUR HEAD!1 and we don't want that happenin, do we/ wink
Summary: umm the stor's what the whole Inuyasha gang would've been like if kikyo didnt exist, or kagome, and if it had been Yuri, a lil ordinary grl from Tokyo, who fell down the well. And well I KNOW I SUCK AT SUMMARYES but the story will stil b good, I promise, so go ahead and read!111
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enduring love
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yuri woke up one omrning and immeditely begin to get ready for school. she was excited there was a field trip planed today to go to a shrine outside of town. she got to the schoool and everyon took a bus to the shrine. But when she was there, yrui saw somethin glow misteriously in one of the abandoned sheds. since she was so brave she went t it and saw a well. but the glow was sooo pretty she had to go inside the well. surprise suddenly Yuri was in old day Japan! there was a strange noise behind her an a byo picked her up to saveh er from the spider demon that was abut to kill her. "My names Inuyasha but theres no time to explain." he handed her a bow and arros. Shoot" he said. So she did, and the spider demon died. You saved me from Naraku Inuyasha said. whats your name where are you from? yuri answered. she thought she fell in love at first sight. she reached up to pet the boys ears and he let her. he took her to the village and told eveybody what had happened and said that Yuri would stay there fo a while. she soon forgot about Tokyo and grue to love Inuyasha even more until one day he realized it to and he told her. I love you forever and always, yuri. And she said "I love you too…" and they kissed. later they got married and had pups and were happy
The End
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so how was it? good huh? revue!
-JunsuiLove
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There was a strange silence, filled with each individual swimming in his thoughts about the piece. Inuyasha was cursing; Sango and Miroku were lamenting the plot; and Kagome kept on getting bothered by the grammar mistakes.
And, of course, there was Marisu, who thought the work was fantastic, and who was awaiting the feedback of her most recent readers.
"It's not very recent; in fact, it's the oldest thing I've written. But I treasure it. The day I published this was a special day," said Marisu, whose eyes seemed to be sparkling with optimism and fondness.
"That's the stupidest piece of shit I've ever heard of!" Inuyasha shouted into her face, then paused to add, "Except all the stuff about you and me getting fucking married!"
Sango was just about finishing the "literature." It had been hard to get through because of its…style. She sighed and shook her head, saying something to Miroku, who was equally bored. It seemed to have made her forget about him popping the question to Marisu.
"Shippou…" said Kagome kindly. "Would you mind digging into my backpack for something?"
"Anything!" he piped up, having not fully understood Marisu's story. He was barely old enough to read, anyways.
"Alright, then. Can you get me a red pen?" she asked, making a gesture as to the length, then watching as he scampered off to her backpack for it.
"Kagome-sama…" said Miroku as he moved in closer to read the manuscript, "What precisely is 'fanfiction?'"
"It's hard to explain…But do you remember the time I brought my manga along with me to show to Shippou?"
Miroku searched his memory, then nodded. "Hai. But I didn't read it."
"The author who produced that manga created her own story line and original characters for the entertainment of others. However, authors who write fanfiction take that original story and twist it to their own likings, to fit different plots, to fit different situations."
"But how is it that Marisu-hime knew our names?" asked Sango, then added, irritated, "Or at least yours and Inuyasha's?"
Kagome shrugged, smiling. "No idea."
"Is fanfiction…common, Kagome-sama?" asked Miroku, still peering at all the grammar mistakes on the document.
"Not very," Kagome admitted. "The community is growing larger, though. I gave up on reading fanfiction because there are too many bad writers circulating their stories."
And all three of them suddenly looked up to give meaningful stares at Marisu.
"It's not the best thing ever written, but it's not stupid, or shit!" Marisu-hime was arguing to Inuyasha.
"You're blind, then," he retorted loudly. "It's both!"
"You're impossible. I should have suspected that you wouldn't like literature much!"
"You're an idiot! Suddenly I'm grateful that she fell into the well, and that Kikyou existed!" Inuyasha shouted, pointing at Kagome, sitting cross-legged on a rock as Shippou handed her the pen.
Kagome, eyes narrowing into a glare, decided to pass up on an "Osuwari."
"It's fanfiction. Fanfiction! It's not real," said Marisu, sounding hurt.
"Thank god," Inuyasha spat. "It's real fucking fiction for you to have imagined that you could ever kill Naraku when I couldn't."
"Who knows!" asked the girl. "Maybe I could!"
"And why did I have to be kissing you?" he raged on.
"For the same reason you're going to marry me!" Marisu insisted.
"Still going on with that pathetic dream of yours, huh? You're a fool!" Inuyasha shouted.
"I have a few suggestions to make on your paper, Marisu-hime," said Kagome, raising her hand and waving a red pen.
"How dare you?" Marisu screamed.
"Oh, she dares," said Miroku, he and Sango looking altogether unimpressed by the girl's outburst.
"Please calm down," said Kagome good-naturedly. "Listen, if you want to be a good fanfiction writer, you have to learn how to accept constructive criticism."
"It's fine how it is," said Marisu, crossing her arms and pouting heavily.
"It's far from 'fine,'" snorted Inuyasha.
There was a soft scraping sound as Kagome began making the corrections to Marisu's fanfiction.
"Nooo! Don't write on that, it's the original copy!" she cried.
Kagome looked up, rather unmoved, and continued editing the piece.
"Besides, I worked for days on that to get it just right! Your writing style's probably different than mine, so leave it alone!"
Sango and Miroku broke into a fit of amused chuckles.
"Hmmm, so she did edit it," said Sango, looking back at the paper.
"My style gives it…character!" said Marisu, stumbling for words.
"Good writing will give it character. Horrible grammar and a weird plotline won't," said Kagome, looking up from her work. When she looked back down at the document, she seemed satisfied.
"That's it?" asked Miroku, sounding disappointed.
"For now," replied Kagome. "Marisu, come over here!"
The girl stomped over to where everyone was sitting.
"First of all, learn how to spell! You look about fifteen, but you write like children half that age."
Marisu was beginning to sport a temper.
"How old are you, Marisu-hime?" asked Sango.
"I…I'm fourteen. But I was…was only twelve when I wrote that!" she said, stuttering in embarrassment.
"That's not an excuse, Marisu," said Kagome sternly. "Look, your capitalizations are over the place, and you sound so immature…"
Now, Shippou, having finished his lollipop, was suddenly interested in the writing everyone seemed to be taking an interest in. He looked at the paper curiously...Naturally, his eyes went to the all capitals exclamation of what would happen if someone didn't read and review…
"Or else…I…will…umm, 'eat your head?'" he read uncertainly.
"That's very good, Shippou," said Kagome encouragingly.
Shippou, before walking off to Kagome's backpack, gave Marisu a very odd look.
"Okay, next…" said Kagome, tracing her pen down the paper. "A summary like this is-"
"Is crap!" inserted Inuyasha angrily.
"Inuyasha, what I meant to say is that-"
"But it is crap!" he protested, and despite her efforts to break this to Marisu in a less harsh way, Sango and Miroku were agreeing with him.
She sighed. "Oh-okay..." Then she looked at Marisu in the eyes. "It is crap."
Marisu seemed to stagger back, clutching her heart in a classic "I didn't just hear that" reaction.
"Please learn how to spell 'story,'" said Kagome. "Besides that, the summary has to be the most refined part of the writing. I've met writers who have gone over their summaries over and over just to get it right."
"To superior results," Miroku said with a snicker.
"Never say that you're horrible at summaries. It simply sends your readers the message that, 'Since I can't even write a three line summary, I can't write a story at all! So don't bother reading!' Okay?" asked Kagome, trying to confirm Marisu's thoughts on this.
"…But I really am bad at summaries," Marisu wailed helplessly.
"That clinches it. She's a horrible writer," said Inuyasha, sounding bored.
"I am not a horrible writer!" Marisu protested.
But they all gave her looks of, "Yeah, you are."
"Next," said Kagome, pushing forward, "choose a title that isn't such a cliché. And don't choose a title that doesn't have any relevance to the story. You never mention anything about an enduring love. It's just-" said Kagome, stopping to blush, "Inuyasha, who declares his…" She stopped again and whispered the last words. "Love for you."
Inuyasha was also turning red at the thought.
"Also, you mention the 'glowing light' a few times in the first couple lines, but it never shows up again, either. What was it supposed to be?"
"The Shikon no Tama," said Marisu, in tears now.
"…And, your character 'Yuri' is a Mary-Sue," Kagome stated finally. She had decided that maybe this was too much for the girl to hear at once, so she wouldn't point out all the grammar mistakes.
"A Mary-Sue?" asked Sango, puzzled.
"Mary-Sue…" repeated Miroku dumbly.
Shippou had returned, licking his lollipop happily. Everyone was staring at the girl.
"Marisu?"
The simple word of the kitsune suddenly helped them all to make the connection.
"You!..." said Kagome, pointing a finger and shrilling accusingly at the girl, who was crying ashamedly. "You are a Mary-Sue!"
"What, is that some sort of demon?" Inuyasha asked.
"No, but they're generally the worst sort of writers," Kagome answered.
"Should I kill her, then?" asked Inuyasha, sounding as if he didn't care either way.
"Why don't we-"
Kagome's suggestion was interrupted by the swoosh of a white-fletched arrow, consumed in pure energy, zipping over them in a short arc, then swooping down to hit Marisu on the right of her chest.
There was a small noise of dissatisfaction in the trees as Kikyou appeared in miko garb, lowering her bow. She approached the group, staring emotionlessly at the girl, who had fallen to her knees, shaking.
"K-Kikyou!" Marisu stammered.
"Pitiful girl. You moved," said Kikyou coldly. "Had I gotten you in the heart, you would have died a quick and painless death."
"I'm a…a self-insertion, dammit!" Marisu screamed. "I'm not supposed to die!"
"My wrongdoing, then," said Kikyou nonchalantly. "But I am sure someone will appreciate it."
Everyone seemed to sit in awe of what was happening.
"And you!" said the Mary-Sue, crawling over to Inuyasha and tugging on the sleeve of his robe. "You were supposed to fall in love with my charm…my intellect…my beauty," she croaked.
"What beauty?" he asked indifferently, shaking her off rather harshly. She hit the ground with a thump.
"I guess…I guess that's the end of her, then?" asked Kagome, giving an involuntary shudder.
"No," said Kikyou, her eyes sweeping over the girl's body. "She only existed in this world because she imagined it. It is likely she made another fanfiction out of this."
Everyone's faces revealed expressions astonishment and horror.
"So she's still alive?"
Kikyou gave a curt, grim nod.
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Yuri awoke with a start, shifting her legs that were tangled in the bedsheets. She snapped her ordinary, brown eyes open, surveying her room.
How strange…She seemed to have fallen out of bed.
She sat up, pulling the blankets off her and setting them upon the bed. Yuri shook her head, perhaps rattling the few contents inside around. She looked up to the digital clock that sat on her desk; it was 6:45. It was just about time for her to be getting ready for school.
What a strange dream!
A beautiful hanyou named Marisu-hime came across the Inu-tachi, seeking love. It was peculiar, but she liked the idea.
It had given her a great idea for a new fanfiction!
Of course, the character Marisu-hime was fine as it was, but the ending of her dream had been a little startling.
Yuri got up, stifling a yawn, and sat at her desk, sliding open the bottom drawer to take out a notebook and a blue pen. Inspiration was only temporary; she had to write when she had a wonderful idea. Putting on her school uniform and brushing her teeth could wait a few minutes, at least until she sketched out the plot of her new story.
Yes…That really was a strange ending. Poor Marisu had died needlessly. Stupid Kikyou.
Of course, the power of changing those sort of things was bestowed unto all fanfiction writers.
Yuri smiled to herself as she clicked the top of her ballpoint pen, set her mind to work, and began writing.
And with that, the whole world seemed to heave a great sigh. All was restored to the Sue-niverse.
The End
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A/N: Review. And you will make things a little better in the Sue-niverse.