AN: In Honor of Shark Week 2009 on Discovery Channel. Very mild Kisa/Ita and one-sided Ita/Kaka.
Not my best work.
Premiere
Kisame was very agitated as he paced beneath the tree. Last year, he'd missed the Shark Week premiere because Deidara had a nervous breakdown and blown up Hidan. They'd spent the entire night picking up pieces of the oddly religious man and fixing them back together.
He had no intentions of missing this year's premiere.
So why were he and Itachi twenty three miles from their temporary hideout waiting on a transmission from Konoha?
Itachi sat on a tree limb approximately eight feet above the head of the pacing man who so resembled the aquatic carnivores being highlighted this week. He still preferred his vegetarian existence, he mused, taking another bite of the apple he held.
"You will not miss the premiere," he said nonchalantly but curtly as was his way.
Kisame glared. "The hell I will. Why are we here again?"
Itachi didn't bother to answer. Kisame knew well enough that they were there because the transmission they were intercepting had to do with where they were now hiding Naruto. Kisame also knew that they had to alter it so that Madara didn't get Naruto's actual hiding place. It almost made Itachi smile at how easy it was to trick his elder. The man knew why he'd killed the Uchihas but couldn't fathom that he could still be loyal to the village that ruined his life.
Itachi saw Kakashi coming before Kisame had time to throw the shoe he'd been aiming at his Uchiha partner. He glided down from the tree and leaned against it to finish his apple. The aforementioned shoe became lodged on a limb and the grumbling shark began his laborious climb to retrieve it. Itachi watched, a foreign light in his eyes the only thing that betrayed his amusement.
"Hello, 'Kashi," he said calmly, using the old nickname he'd coined for his former ANBU partner.
Kakashi looked pained to see him, seeing only what an old lover could see. The way Itachi seemed paled and drawn like the waning moon, despite the smile in his eyes.
"Hello, Itachi. How are you?"
Itachi forced a smile for him and they both knew that an answer was not necessary. Kakashi reached for the scroll at his side.
"I suppose you should take this..." He paused as he stared at his now empty hand, the scroll now resting between Itachi's fingers, almost jauntingly. Kakashi laughed hoarsely.
"I hate it when you do that."
Itachi shrugged, letting the scroll disappear into his cloak. Kakashi suddenly lunged at him and Itachi barely needed to react. They fought briefly before Kisame broke their concentration by falling out of the tree. Kakashi's heart broke at the sudden concern he saw in the lines of Itachi's face before they were carefully concealed. He dampened the flow of blood from a cut on his forehead with the back of his hand.
"Be seeing you," he said softly and left the two behind.
"Can we go now?" Kisame pleaded from beneath a pile of thin branches.
"We have to take the scroll to Madara-sama," Itachi reiterated and rolled his eyes at his partner's groan.
Still, the shark seemed to have enough energy to push his fastest speed while Itachi easily stayed half a step behind him the entire way.
Madara met them halfway under his guise of Tobi. Kisame fidgeted during the entire conversation between the two Uchihas. At last Itachi stepped away and Madara disappeared into the darkness.
Kisame ignited another protest when he realized Itachi was [i]not[/i] heading back to their hideaway.
"'Tachi!!" he whined.
"You will not miss the premiere," Itachi state again as he stepped up into an easy run.
Kisame had no choice but to follow, woefully, no doubt.
"WHY are we scoping out a village we KNOW Naruto is not at!?" Kisame complained, glancing at his watch. "The premiere starts in half an hour!"
"You will not miss it," Itachi confirmed, turning the page of his book. "And you know why."
Kisame pouted, tucking his knees against his chest and watched the villagers file through their evening routines.
"COME ON ITACHI!"
Kisame knew that the Uchiha could run faster but he was taking his time. Then again, Itachi could run a great deal faster than he himself could...but yelling at him helped.
"You will not miss it," Itachi almost laughed.
At the main hideout, Itachi quickly filled out a report for Madara to read in the morning then followed Kisame's frantic running back to their own hideout.
"NOOOOOoooooooo!!!!" Kisame pawed at the screen of the TV as the credits ran across it. Wailing and on the verge of tears, he lamented.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED IT AGAIN!"
Itachi almost smiled. He almost let the panic continue. Almost. For a moment, he almost let the world continue believing that he was selfish. Almost.
Kisame stopped in his tortured cries as the screen began doing something odd. The credits began rolling backwards. He blinked in confusion before looking back at his partner. Itachi snorted at his partner's frustration.
"I recorded it."
Kisame squealed, a sound he would later never admit to making. He crossed the room in one bound, scooped Itachi up in his arms (much to the Uchiha's surprise and indignation), and kissed him full upon the lips.
Kisame was unable to believe that Itachi had done something so unselfish, so kind. It truly showed that Itachi did have a soft side. Ha! He had one-up on everyone! Itachi liked him enough to record Shark Week!
It was only about then that it slowly began to filter into Kisame's head.
Said Itachi was rather possessive of his personal space.
Said Itachi was now being crushed against his chest while imitating a brick wall.
He was kissing said Itachi.
Carefully, Kisame pulled back and set Itachi down on the floor. He took a couple steps back, watching his partner for any signs of aggression. The Uchiha's face was rather unusually blank. Kisame prepared himself to run when Itachi blinked once then again. At long last, Itachi shook his head.
"I'll pretend that didn't happen." he said curtly before disappearing up the stairs to his room.
Kisame purred and sat down in front of the TV to watch his recorded version of the Shark Week premiere. Almost as good as Shark Week...he'd kissed Uchiha Itachi and lived to tell about it.
Above him, where no one could see him, Itachi blushed, smiled, and gingerly touched his lips.