Hello Loves! I started this one shot ages ago, but I just finished it today! Consider it a little christmas gift to all you lovely readers, I appreciate every one of you, merry christmas and have a good weekend! Sylvie x
Peter is running. Running faster than he's ever run in his life.
He's feeling the muscles in his thighs beginning to strain under his suit, his feet hitting the pavement so hard he feels like it might crack. His arms flying up and down by his sides to make him go faster and faster, the wind taking his breath away. He feels water stinging his eyes, and he's not sure whether it is because of the wind or his emotions rolling around in his brain.
What he was running from however, was no giant monster, or The Vulture, or anything of the sort. Something far worse had occurred, well, in his opinion anyway.
Aunt May had seen, seen him in the suit, clear as bloody day. Peter was a like a little boy on Christmas day when he had seen the brown package on his bed, knowing it was from Tony. He couldn't wait to be reunited with his suit, to talk to Karen, and to go flying around the city as free as a bird.
He'd stretched out his arm, feeling the fabric clinging to him, grinning with so much pride, before his Aunt's cry of "WHAT THE F-" coming from behind him had wiped the smile clean off his face.
Peter had tried to stutter his way out of it, but he knew it wasn't working as he saw the first tear roll down May's face, full of shock and betrayal. A long silence had passed between them, as more tears formed in her eyes, before May finally spoke.
"Why would you do this to me Peter?"
Peter felt like someone had snapped his spine in half when those words had reached his ears. He'd swallowed the lump that rose rapidly in his throat, and had tried to explain why he was Spider-Man, and that everything was under control and he was safe with Tony helping him through everything and how sorry he was that she'd had to find out this way and the words just tumbled from his mouth like vomit.
May had raised her hand up, signalling Peter to shut up from his rambling.
"After your parents, after Ben, you still put yourself at risk? Have you no thought for yourself? For your family, Peter!" May never raised her voice, and Peter jumped at her outburst of anger. Peter felt himself drowning in guilt, seeping into every orifice it could get into, and he began to realise just how claustrophobic he felt in his tiny room. Peter truly despised himself in that moment, and he had no retaliation or defence to give to Aunt May after her words. He just hung his head so low, whispering "I'm so sorry." May left his bedroom door, walking slowly to the couch and gripping it for support.
Peter needed to leave, to get out of this tiny fucking space, he couldn't find any air around him and the sweat was building on his forehead. He turned to the window behind him, looking out onto the horizon. Peter made a split-second decision, and leaped from the window, not turning back to look at his Aunt. He felt such a coward, but he needed the air, and someone to talk to.
And this is where he was, running. He didn't feel like swinging high above the streets, he didn't feel he deserved such an exhilarating feeling. All he could see was May's face, Ben's body and blood, punching his way out of everything. He knew he must be drawing attention to himself. Spider-Man, running at full pelt through the streets, after nothing? He could hear people shouting, see fingers pointing, he was sure he heard people asking if he was ok. His breath was hot under his mask, coming out in shudders at the amount of unnecessary effort he was putting into running. Karen's soothing voice turned Peter's attention away from the crowd.
"Peter, I'd advise you stop for a break soon. You seem to be exerting yourself."
Peter ignored her, as much as he felt bad, Karen was always kind to him. Not long after this, her voice came in again.
"Peter, Tony Stark is calling you." And Peter saw Tony's face pop up on the right-hand side of his vision. Peter knew that ignoring Tony's phone calls was always a bad idea, and he'd never hear the end of the irresponsibility lecture if he did. So, Peter gave Karen the all clear to answer, and Peter realised he had subconsciously run to his favourite spot beside the lake, a place he often came to think. Peter collapsed on the grass on his back as he heard Tony's stern voice over the phone, gasping from his run.
"Kid why are you running aimlessly through the streets? And don't bullshit me with 'its exercise', what are you running from."
That last part wasn't a question, it was more a demand for knowledge. Peter didn't have the breath to reply straightaway, and rubbed his temple with his right hand. Tony was patient for his answer.
"May." Was all he could manage without stirring emotions he didn't want to stir again. Peter managed to move himself to a hidden area amongst shrubbery, and realising there was no one else here anyway, removed his mask. The air on his face was some relief from this overwhelming sense of heat he was experiencing, and Peter realised his hands were trembling.
"Peter, what have you done. It can't be that bad." He heard Tony's voice from the mask, realising he'd have to put it back on to talk to him.
"She saw me in the suit." Peter managed to squeeze out, before feeling the lump return to his throat and his eyes watering. Tony was silent for a moment, before Peter said "Can I come to you please. I can't go back there tonight." The pleading in his voice was far too obvious for Peter's liking, and he felt very pathetic in front of Tony.
He heard Tony sigh, which made Peter flinch, I'm such a pain.
"Fine, I'll come get you. Be there in five." And Tony hung up.
As soon as Tony hung up, Peter ripped the mask off his head, and threw it down next to him. He brought his knees to his chest, and put his head in his hands. He wanted the world to stop, slipping into a coma for about two weeks would make him feel better, probably. His Aunt's heartbroken face wouldn't leave his mind, her voice cracking under the stress of discovering his identity was all he could hear. His Uncle Ben's blood staining their conversation. Peter hated himself for crying, he didn't deserve the space to cry, he should be fixing all the things he'd fucked up in the world. But the tears came, he bit his bottom lip to hold back any sob that might try and break free.
Why would you do this to me Peter?
'I'm so sorry May'
Your family Peter!
'I know May I'm so sorry'
Don't you have any consideration for your Aunt?
That was his Uncle's voice, scolding him in his head.
'I'm sorry, Ben.'
Peter hadn't realised that time had continued to pass before he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Tony, and he felt him kneel in front of him.
"Peter, look at me please." He said in the softest tone, Peter didn't realise Tony had it in him. He slowly looked up and met Tony's eyes. Peter tried to wipe the moisture from his blood shot eyes, but more only took its place. Then Tony did something very out of character, he pulled Peter in for a hug.
It wasn't a quick and rather rough man hug that he'd had in the past off him, he didn't make any excuses like "I'm just reaching behind you", no, this was tender and warm. This was Tony's way of saying 'I understand, I'm here to help you, and I care for you'
This tipped Peter over the edge, and in his attempt to hold back a loud sob, he bit his lip and felt blood in his mouth. Peter shuddered and basically wailed into Tony's chest, he'd never let out this many emotions at once, not even to Ned, and he was not equipped to deal with them. Peter felt the cold of Tony's suit through the finger tips of his own, and it was strangely calming to know what the cool meant – it reminded him of when Tony had rescued him from drowning in that damn tangled parachute. He could hear the pitch of his sobs reverberate around the casing of Tony's suit, a strangely heavenly sound produced from a total mental breakdown, he didn't even realise how much his voice hurt and how he was basically screaming.
Peter lost track of time, and Tony was shaking him back to reality. "Come on kid, we have to get you to my place now." He said, panicking a little now. As he lifted Peter slowly up by his under arms and slipped his mask over his head gently. Peter's vision was still blinded by tears, so the only preparation for take off he had was the sound of Tony's face plate clunking back into place, before they shot up in the air towards the Avengers complex.
As they walked into the warmer air of Tony Stark's lounge (which was of course, the size of a small house), a new wave of hopelessness hit Peter, as he realised May might never let him back in the apartment, and he'd have to stay in the very sterile and un homely complex, without May. Peter tore his mask off to allow the tears to flow more freely down his cheeks and breathe in air which seemed impossible to inhale. Tony had a firm arm around him, as Peter's legs were like jelly, and appeared to be walking him to the sofa. He sat Peter down gently, wrapping a soft blanket around his shoulders, and went off to make tea. Vision entered the room (through a door this time), clearly sensing a new person had entered their home, but hesitated as he saw the state Spider man was in. He decided to talk with Tony first, and ask if the boy was ok. Tony sensed Vision gliding towards him.
"Might not be a good time Vis, Peter's in a bad way."
So that's his true identity, Vision thought to himself. And thinking back, the boy looked so young, only around 15.
"Is there anything I can do to help, Tony? Perhaps tell the others not to interrupt you and Peter?" Although he was technically Artificial Intelligence, Vision had more compassion than most humans and other species in this Universe. Tony wished there were more Visions in the world.
"Thanks Vis, that'd be really helpful." Tony replied, giving a small smile, as Vision nodded and gracefully walked away, through the wall this time.
Tony, now out of his iron man suit, carried two mugs of hot tea carefully towards Peter, and set one down in front of him. The mug had the Spiderman logo that Tony had designed for him on the side – Tony's mug just said 'Thor Smells' in big black letters – and Peter put out a shaking arm to take it and drink. The two sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, and Peter was grateful for the calm atmosphere and gentle ambient noises – sips of tea being taken, airplanes flying overhead, even birds. Eventually, Tony decided it was time enough to get Peter to talk about today.
"So Pete, you wanna tell me about before?" Tony began quietly. Peter sighed into his mug, at least he could breathe slightly better than before, and he gave Tony the story of how he'd been so excited to keep his suit, that he'd tried it on and May had seen through his stupidly left open door.
"She was really mad, understandably. How could I have been so irresponsible? After Ben…" Peter couldn't continue, he might throw up if he did. He swallowed more tea as Tony prepared to answer.
"Peter, a lot of us have families/people as good as here, hell, Clint had a baby on the way during the whole Sovokia incident! Pepper almost died because of me one time, and almost left me because of my refusal to see that the constant tinkering with the suits had become an addiction. The difference is that our loved ones already knew – for May, this is a huge shock that she didn't see coming, so it is gonna be a lot harder at the moment." Peter sniffled a little, thoughts of I should have I shouldn't have whizzing round his head. Tony continued.
"May loves you Peter, I know she does, and you know she does. Yes, you're only 15, and I think May will want to know a lot more about your patrols and other stuff you do with me, and I think she has a right to, but it's not the end for you and her. Once you've talked – and I'll be there if you need me – I have a lot of faith that things are gonna be better for both of you." Tony smiled, praying he'd said the right thing, but he meant every word.
"I hope you're right, Tony." Peter replied, and looking up for the first time, he smiled back at Tony, the red blotches fading from his face.
"You still want to stay round tonight kid? You're always welcome."
"Thank you Mr Stark, but I think I'll go home to May."