Note: This is a nice idea I had while at work! Enjoy! Oh yeah, and things in italics are Voldemort's thoughts.

Lord Voldemort had everything anyone could ever want. He had power. He had wealth. He had numerous antiques of great value. He was the leader of a multitude of fanatic groupies. He was rich and people feared him. Plus, he was practically immortal. But he lacked one thing that every man, no matter how powerful he is and how many fanatic groupies he leads, wants. And that was a girl. The one who would stand by his every decision and stick up for him when everyone else wants him dead. Which, by the way, was pretty much now.

It wasn't as though he hadn't tried to get a date, either. Oh no. He had tried many times. Most of these attempts failed miserably and one failed so miserably that he almost cried from frustration. And in the process of these failures, he learned a few things:

Don't date girls from work. It gets awkward when you find out you weren't really a very good match. That, and the other groupies tend to get jealous.

Never date a girl who thinks she could possibly be your equal, they get really upset when you do things they couldn't even dream of doing. This usually leads to a fight that usually leads to breakups and general unhappiness.

If you think you love her, don't tell her on the first date. That's just one of those things you don't do.

And finally, internet dating services are great, but they have their downfalls. It's easy to lie on the internet, about lots of things.

In all, his experiences with the fairer sex were bad. Voldemort was worn out and ready for something to turn out in his favor. In short, he was desperate. So, when he saw the ad in the paper for "Britain's premier speed dating services," he immediately dialed the listed number and signed up for the next session.

Jump forward to Friday night.

He entered the auditorium and signed in with the attendant at the front table. There were a lot of men and women--not all of them dumpy, but a good many of them quite plain—were milling around and gathering in small groups to chat and point at various others of their liking.

The receptionist was a cheery, overly enthusiastic kind of girl. "Here you go, Mr., um . . .Voldymort. These are your evaluation sheets. You will ask your questions and mark how the woman you are talking to ranks in each category. At the end of 10 minutes, if you think you might have found a good match for yourself you are free to exchange phone numbers. Enjoy yourself, and remember that love is only a speed date away!"

It all seemed a little confusing, but as the first bell rang, he found himself a seat at place number 12 and waited for his first interview.

When she finally appeared he was surprised to find her quite attractive. He had been under the impression that only the very most desperate women went to these types of things. She wore a nice light blue suit and had her blonde hair pulled back into a professional-looking style.

"Hello. I'm sorry I'm a little bit late. I was in a board meeting that went over time. So," she looked at her sheet. "Vol-day-mort, right?"

"Actually, it's pronounced, "vol-deh-mort," but it's quite alright."

"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I guess I'm already off on the wrong foot. Well, my name is Heather. Do you want to go first or shall I?"

After a little friendly banter back and forth, it was decided that she would ask the first question. "Do you smoke?"

"No."

"Hmm," she thought a moment. "Well, do you mind smokers at all?"

"Uh-oh. And she seemed so nice. Oh well. Pity though, really."

"Actually yes. I would seem like the type that doesn't mind that sort of thing too much, but heh, it just sort of annoys me."

"Right, well that's not a problem. I don't smoke either."

"She's a tricky one. I like her."

They spoke for awhile and found that they both enjoyed being in positions of influence over others, tennis and classical music. And, at the end of the ten minute session, Voldemort was quite pleased when they both wanted each other's number.

Date number one had gone swimmingly, he thought. And he was quite ready to end it right there and ask Heather out, but he reminded himself that there could be others quite as good hiding among the group, so he decided to stay.

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2!