SpongeBob gasped as he unfurled the crunkled up note. "Big fat meanie!" he cried as he turned to Patrick.

Patrick shot him a sly grin hidden behind the folds of his bored expression.

"Patrick, you can't do that! She's the teacher!" SpongeBob scolded with a whisper, but it was still loud enough to be detected by Mrs. Puff.

"What about the teacher, SpongeBob?" asked Mrs. Puff. She swiped the note from his hand, leaving him in a cold sweat.

Mrs. Puff was taken aback by the rude drawing she had retrieved from SpongeBob. "As if I really look like this!" she roared and stomped back to her desk.

SpongeBob sighed as the accusation triggered his soul. He glared at Patrick as his Good Noodle Star was repealed from the achievement board.

"Mrs. Puff is it naptime?" Patrick said with a sneer.

Mrs. Puff was livid now. She ran up to SpongeBob and dropkicked him into the wall. SpongeBob barely had any time to escape the confines of his desk as Mrs. Puff charged forward, heels ablaze.

"Barnacles…" coughed SpongeBob as he pulled his pulsar beam out from his back pocket and blasted the teacher with a burst of energy.

Patrick snarled at SpongeBob's quick-thinking and rose from his chair using his psychic levitation powers. He flew over to SpongeBob and charged up laser vision. "Time to fall, SquarePants…" he droned.

"Not so fast, Pat!" growled SpongeBob. He drew the spell card Butt Killer. Now he had 3,000 life points and a charismatic chin of utter macho manliness. He then used to the chin to break Patrick's spine.

Mrs. Puff finally arose and called upon an army of snails to aid her in battle. "You die today, my former best noodle…"

"In your dreams, Puff…" rasped SpongeBob as he jumped up and shot finger bullets at the snails and cracked all of their shells. With the shells depleted, the snails cried out in shame. SpongeBob scooped the shell remains into his bottom lip and trudged around downtown with a face full of honour.

Patrick flew by with his spine fixed with toothpicks and wood glue. He took out his pistol and shot SpongeBob with an ice cream cone. The cone usurped his brain stem and made his brain a delectable dessert.

SpongeBob fell to the ground defeated and Patrick approached him with an evil agenda. "This is for the Chum Bucket, SquarePants…" Patrick inserted his seven tongues into SpongeBob's ear. He licked the brain like ice cream.

Squidward saw the starfish licking and called the police. They showed up and arrested Patrick, but Patrick's abs were so meaty and fresh. The policemen then bowed down to Patrick's overwhelming hotcakey mu-wah.

SpongeBob gasped and took out his pencil. He drew a picture of a jellyfish and Patrick noticed the amazing quality. "Not bad, eh, Mr. Critic?" said SpongeBob sassily.

"I'll murder your existence!" roared Patrick as he reached out and broke SpongeBob's shoes in twenty-seven separate pieces.

"My goodness…" said Squidward with a tear in his eye for he had love for footwear. He ran into his house and wept bitter tears endlessly until the moon waned.

Mrs. Puff arrived at the Chum Bucket that evening and planted a soggy wet kiss upon the Chumbalaya.

Plankton saw Puff's stinkin' lips and called SpongeBob for help.

SpongeBob arrived without shoes and Plankton screamed because the manliness of SpongeBob's chin had traveled to his toes. The toes now had macho chins and were growing at an exponential rate. The toes expanded and coiled around Mrs. Puff. He slunk over to her ear and whispered: "Whatever happened to Robot Jones?" Then he squeezed with vicious toe might until Mrs. Puff imploded and her remains scattered upon the Chumbalaya.

Plankton took a taste test of the Chumbalaya with fugu essence and gladly loved the cuisine. "I will now be a winner!" he laughed happily.

SpongeBob was glad he did a righteous deed with his manly toes. He then ran off to the Boating School where he became the new teacher and KICKED FLATS'S BUTT!

FIN