Two-Face, Poison Ivy, and the Joker were sitting around a table where blueprints and plans were scattered. Piles of crumbled up plans were growing around the table.
"There is no way for us to get to him. He's too heavily fortified," Ivy growled in frustration.
Joker sneered, "If we can't get to him we'll have to hire someone who can. The best of the best. Either way he can't stay alive."
"We know that! We're doing everything we can," Ivy all but snarled at him.
Two-Face just stared at the blueprints, deep in thought. When he came to a decision he looked up.
"I know someone who can get the job done."
"You do? Why didn't you say so earlier!" The Joker exclaimed.
"Because bringing you to him might end in your death depending on his mood," Two-Face replied with a find but exasperated sigh.
"Everything we do might end in our deaths, but we need this job done. So let's go," Ivy told him already heading for the door.
.:ili:.
"What are we doing at Wayne manor?" Joker asked as the walked up to a back door of the manor.
"You wanted the best, and I wanted an apology gift," was all he got in response as Two-Face pressed a hidden doorbell.
They waited in silence until Alfred opened the door looking at them suspiciously.
"Why are you here Master Dent?" The butler asked frostily.
Harvey (Two-Face) winced at the tone, "For an apology and a job."
The butler nodded after a minute before letting them in, "He's in his study. You know the way."
With that he turned around and went back to his business. Harvey led the way to the study. As the got closer they could hear a thuds coming from the room every few seconds. Joker and Ivy looked at the door uneasily as Harvey opened the door, unsure of what would be on the other side. They didn't want to walk into Bruce Wayne a little "fun" after all. What they didn't expect was to find him leaning against the desk throwing knives at a dart board with startling accuracy.
Bruce looked over at the three villains as they closed the door. A sharp smile made its way onto his face as he focused on Harvey.
"Harvey Harvey Harvey. You don't call."
Bruce threw a knife at the dart board, the thump punctuating his sentence.
"You don't write."
THUMP.
"You don't even bother to try and kiddnap me."
THUMP.
"I was starting to think you don't care anymore. Developing a second personality is no excuse to ignore me."
"You're right I should have at least tried to kidnap you at least once. I'm sorry," Harvey apologized looking down.
Bruce smiled brightly accepting his apology.
"Wait kidnap? You wanted him to kidnap you?" The Joker asked incredulously.
The billionaire looked at him with a strange little smile, "What's a kidnnaping between friends? It's not like he'll ever get any money from it with Wayne Interprises kidnnaping policies, and besides if he ever really needed money he knows all he needs to do is ask."
Ivy and Joker looked back and forth between the criminal and billionaire with wide eyes.
Harvey just shrugged, "We have a strange friendship."
Bruce gave him a confused tilt of his head, "What do you mean? Our friendship is perfectly normal."
Harvey raised an unimpressed eyebrow, "I can't believe you finished that sentence with a straight face."
Bruce bursted out laughing before turning serious, "Now you said something about a job?"
"Luscious Carvaner. We couldn't find a way to get to him, he's too heavily fortified, so I brought it too you as an apology present. You always have loved a challenge," Harvey explained holding out a folder with all the intel they could gather.
"You know me so well," Bruce exclaimed lighting up like a child on Christmas.
"Wait Wait Wait. Bruce Wayne, the golden boy of Gotham, the loving but clumsy billionaire, the drunken playboy, the goody two shoes philanthropist, is the person we are hiring to kill one of the most difficult targets in the world?" The Joker looked like he was going to start ripping his hair out. Ivy wasn't far behind.
The billionaire just shrugged nonchalantly, "Everyone needs a hobby. I'm one of the best in the world. Only one person has ever stumbled over one of the people I've killed."
"Stumbled? You practically lead me by the nose to the body you were dissolving in your bathtub! I almost had a heart attack!" Harvey glared at his friend.
Bruce just grinned innocently at him, "Despite the shock you still helped me finish dissolving the body. I always liked the irony of the man who was campaigning to get rid of crime in Gotham was helping hide bodies almost as much as the care free golden boy of Gotham being a hitman for hire."
"You loved it when I became Two-Face didn't you?" Harvey asked as he sighed.
"Of course. I did everything I could to cultivate your dark side and get it to come out and play."
"Im not even surprised by that," Harvey just shook his head, shoulders slumped in defeat.
"What about the job? It needs to be done in three weeks," Ivy asked breaking up the friends dialogue.
Bruce gave a cursory glance at the folder before nodding and looking at the Joker, "It will be done by next week. I'll even do it for free because Harvey brought it too me, and make it look natural as a bonus for the challenge. Now you and Ivy can leave, me and Harvey have some catching up to do."
Right before they went through the door Bruce stopped them.
"You do know not to tell anyone about my little hobby right? I'd hate to have y'all disappear, after all you do make this city an interesting place to live."
His tone sent shivers down their spines. The nodded before making a beeline for the exit. There were some things about Gotham that were best left secrets.
.:ili:.
"Hay Joker come look at the news," Ivy called from the couch.
Joker looked up from the table and started listening.
"-45 year old Luscious Carvaner died last night of a heart attack in his sleep. At first the police suspected it might be a murder because of recent events surrounding him but the coroner found no signs of foul play-" the news reporter said.
"Damn he is good."