Author's notes
Warning: Angst
Disclaimer: Don't own it.
Wolfram is tired with the farce, he's not blind to the king and his brother's obvious attraction. But don't break his heart. Is what he's thinking true?
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He was sick and tired of it all. So tired of always catching the looks they sent to each other. The secret smiles, they thought no one had noticed. And all the tears he cried has dried up. The flame gone and forgotten.
He loved the raven haired, coal eyes, half-demon maou. That every night and day, his thoughts were filled of him. Thinking that their relationship were progressing, that the wait has not gone to waste. But there were nights he barely saw his fiance, and murmurs from the maids about the alleged affair drifted to his room. And no matter how deep he buried his head in his pillow, he could hear it. Hear people pitying him, gossiping about how he wasn't enough for the majesty and how the engangement was just a farce when the maou was actually in love with another.
Break our silly little farce off, that was what he wanted to say. Was it selfish? He loved Yuuri with all his heart. It was his fault, for making him fall so deep. Why didn't he break it off, why give him the chance to hope? Why break his heart slowly as every whisper and murmur of gossip makes small little cracks in his already fragile heart. Usually, he would have ignored it if he hadnt seen the connection with his own eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut as the tears threathen to fall.
Yuuri...
Was the only one that opened his heart after watching his mother many attempts at failure in love. Watched as different stepfathers acted like they care. Acted like they truly loved her. Was it the curse his mother borned him with? He loved his mother, but he wanted his own chance at love.
---
Take the responsibility Yuuri, you made him fall. Fall so hard that it hurt when even the thought of you not by his side makes him cry.
---
The door creaked open, a small ray of light from the halls crept in. His eyes opened suddenly, not fearing that Yuuri would notice it as the darkness covered his part of the room.
"Wolfram? Are you awake." He didn't move, he knew the routine. Yuuri would quietly sneak in after noticing that he was asleep. Change his pajamas, fall over something or another. Slip in between the sheets and comment on Conrad.
"Urgh, Conrad made my back ache." It's always Conrad.
"But it's worth it, I'm getting better at least." How far have you gone with him? When you still couldn't stand being close to me.
And when he heard Yuuri's soft snoring, the thought that came to his mind was
Five years...
And I still love you...
And he closed his beautiful green orbs as a tear rolled down his cheek.
---
Wolfram's Pov
"Wolfram!"
I turned around and gave a small smile as Yuuri came running after me. As he caught up, he held his chest panting.
"Yes , wimp?" If I appeared oblivious to all your nightly adventures, you would stay close and never leave me. I know how much you are unable to hurt people. You would never leave me, if you really want to, you have to muster up the courage to watch me cry.
"The ball today." I looked at him questioningly. He took in a large breath. I was no longer impatient, I allowed him to take his time.
"Be my first dance?" He gave me a small shy grin. Are you this cruel? Why keep me hoping?
But I smile and nodded. I excused myself by telling you that I had to work on my soldiers. But it's mother birthday, everyone was freed from work. But you took the answer, i don't know if you believe me or not nor if you had cared. So you smiled,
"I have to meet up with Conrad anyway." I nod once more in understanding, but my heart clenched a little. This little game you're playing is cruel. So is the torture of dancing with you, knowing how everyone would be watching us dance and come up with different conversation topics surrounding our already broken relationship.
But I'll take it with a smile.
Because that is how much I love you.
---
Wolfram's Pov
I walked out of Gisela's room, I have been confiding in her about my problems as she was also the castle's counsellor, I knew my secret was safe with her. I looked back as I closed the door and smiled. She tried to convince me to talk to Yuuri, but I wouldn't let myself break any further than I already have.
While walking back to 'our' room, I had accidentally chanced upon a meeting between you and Conrad, your whispers were barely audible however being a full-blooded Mazoku, while you couldn't hear me, being half-blooded, I could hear the both of you perfectly well.
"You shouldn't be nervous, you should tell him tonight, Heika."
"I know, Conrad. I have to get it over and done with right?"
"Prolonging it would only hurt him more."
"But what if he doesn't accept it?"
"If he loves you, I'm sure he will."
"Yeah, if. He might still kill me, you know. What would you do, then, without your beloved king?" I heard Conrad gave a low chuckle.
"I won't survive."
It was the last crack, and it shattered my heart into a millions pieces. I ran away and my thoughts were only clear once I reached my old room. And the tears cascaded, never ending. I love you so much, Yuuri. Denial can only do so much until I'm faced with the real truth.
It was always only me, was the dance tonight some form of pity? Or a brutal joke? I can't believe you would do this to me. Cold, that's what I felt. A broken heart can no longer feel an emotion.
But I knew I love you so much that whatever you do, would be forgiven. And it's because I love you, I will let you go and be happy. If that's what you truly want, then I will give in to you as I always have.
Because I love you, my own happiness no longer matters.
---
Yuuri took his hand and led him to the balcony of the ballroom so the people would see them dance, held their bodies tight together that his scent overwhelmed Wolfram. Wolfram allowed himself a small smile, a small dream, laying his head on Yuuri's broad shoulder, knowing that facing his beloved's face would hurt too much. He could feel the crowd's eyes staring at the both of them and though most were respectful and being quiet allowing the king to dance with his fiance , murmurs were starting. And he knew what they were saying.
But at that time, he couldn't care less. He was in the arms of his beloved. He can pretend to be loved by the king. Pretend to be the only one the king cares about. And Yuuri's warmth was so addictive that he buried his face into Yuuri's neck and held him tighter, inhaling the drug that was Yuuri.
And when the music stop, it was then that the king would give a small speech. Yuuri stopped and stood proud, looking at the crowd, opening his mouth about to speak. All the years of experience and none of his old shy self remained.
But Wolfram stopped him as he slapped Yuuri on the right cheek. The ballroom became silent. Yuuri looked at Wolfram. Emerald eyes looked him straight in his eyes.
I freed you.
And he turned to walk away but a hand stopped him and pulled him to face the maou. Yuuri's eyes bored into him, confusion and sadness mixed into one.
"Don't do this, Yuuri."
"I love you, Wolfram." Don't lie to him, he can't take anymore. Tears blurred his vision. Don't hurt him anymore.
He jerked his hand away but fell back and his head banged against the concrete railing of the balcony.
And his whole world was black.
Because he loves you, he wouldn't allow you to lie to yourself. He would fall for your happiness.
---
Yuuri paid no attention to the knock on the door.
"Heika." It was his godfather.
"Go away." He said, without looking up.
"But Heika, you can't..." The maou lifted up his head and Conrad noticed how his eyes were swollen from crying, and his face wet with tears.
"Are you unable to understand what I'm saying? Leave me alone!" His face flushed with anger, his eyes burned into Conrad who responded by leaving.
Yuuri turned his attention back to Wolfram once more who was now living on an invention Annisina made. Tears rolled down his face as he started sobbing, his body racked with his sobs. He held onto Wolfram's soft delicate hands.
What has he done? Why was he always so stupid?
Wolfram if you can hear me.
I love you,
I've been loving you for the past year. I've never stop thinking of you even when I returned to earth. But I'm stupid and a wimp, I should have known the thoughts that were running through your head these past few weeks. Why didn't you tell me? I know it's your way and I wouldn't have fallen for you any other way. But if you loved me, wouldn't you share your fears and doubts with me. Or was it because you didn't think that I would care? Gisela told me, that you thought that your thoughts wouldn't matter to me. Do you think that badly of me? Though I never said it, I LOVE YOU. Your every being matters. Your smile, your eyes, your smells, your thoughts are all that I think of. I would have fallen with you.
Why didn't you tell me what you were thinking? Let me explain to you the truth, the real truth.
I've never loved Conrad, it has always been you. These past few weeks he has been training me on courtship and swordsmanship. So that I would know how to court you the right way so you would be happy. So you would be proud of me. He taught me the ways of the sword so I could protect you and Greta, the most important people in my world. I was going to confess to you on the day of the ball. It was going to be the day our real engangement starts. How could you think that I would choose Conrad over you? The you that has been by my side through thick and thin even when you thought I did not return your feelings. That has always forgiven me when I did something so stupidly wrong. That berated me whether I was a king or not because you wanted me to be a better someone.
Wake up, Wolfram. Let me show you how much I love you, that my heart and the air I'm breathing no longer belongs to me. Let me tell you that the moment you came to my life, the warmth you radiate is a drug,the reason i keep on living.
That the stress of being a king could not keep me from being happy as I came back to the bedroom and am greeted with your beautiful smile and your concerned eyes. That one day you, me and Greta would be bonded as a family. A real family. And I would be a good husband to you and a good father to Greta.
Yuuri took out the ring from the suit that he was still wearing from the day of the ball. He placed it onto Wolfram's cold hands and wrapped Wolfram's fingers around it. Tears fell once again from his empty black eyes as he kissed the back of Wolfram's small hand that fit perfectly with his own hands.
Perfect, that's what we are when we're together. So I can't take this anymore. Please, Wolfram. Please.
Wake up. I'm begging you. Open your eyes.
--
It's because I love you that nothing else matters till I hear you call me wimp once more.
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Read and review. Sorry for it being quite short.