"Pierce, get that out of your pants," Shirley said through gritted teeth.
"What?" Pierce looked up innocently while adjusting the mistletoe in his zipper.
"You know, early Europeans believed that mistletoe held mystical powers that acted as an aphrodisiac. Just one more illustration of how man has always tried to find any excuse to get into a woman's..," Britta began as she rose from her chair and approached Pierce. She was interrupted by a groan in the collective from the group.
Pierce smiled and raised his eyebrows in anticipation as Britta advanced. Britta gave him a condescending smirk as she reached down and yanked the sprig from his zipper.
"Ouch! Hey watch it, that's not the only twig and berries you're messing with."
"Shut up, Pierce."
"Falafel," he responded."
"Dude, you need to stop taking those pills. It's been like two months," Troy said through a mouthful of cookie. His eyes followed Britta as she carried the mistletoe to the study room entrance to hang above the double doors.
"Guys, why are we even doing this? Didn't our stop-motion excursion count as our annual "Holiday" party this year?" Jeff asked from his regular chair, finger-quoting the word holiday.
"Well, now that we're all three-dimensional-" Shirley began.
Abed raised a finger. "Actually, stop-motion figures are three-dimensional."
"I thought it would be nice," Shirley continued "to have a regular party to say good-bye before break."
"Britta, don't move, just stay right where you are," Pierce sat up in attention.
"Why?" Britta bristled.
"Here comes Annie. Nothing says Christmas like some girl on girl action."
"Ugh," Britta shuddered as she finished hanging the mistletoe, and Shirley slapped Pierce on the back side of his head.
Troy, Abed, and Jeff turned around hopefully, but Britta was already making her way back to her chair. As Britta walked away, Troy whined, "but it's Christmas…"
Annie walked through the double doors, animatedly. "Guys, you have got to sign up for this relaxation class. I'm halfway through all of the reading, and it has something for everyone. Jeff, it's an easy A; Pierce, it models a lot of its principles on Buddhist belief; and Britta…" Annie trailed off. "It might help you...relax."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Britta asked, clenching her hands into fists.
"Nothing…" Annie responded innocently.
"All right, is somebody going to do it or am I going to have to blow my chair over there," Pierce ignored the exchange between Annie and Britta.
"Hehe. You said blow." Troy chuckled.
"What are you talking about?" Annie asked Pierce.
Pierce gestured behind Annie. Annie turned and looked into the hallway. "What?"
"Look up."
Annie's gaze rose toward the ceiling, and she spotted the mistletoe. Then she looked back at the group.
"Were you guys even listening to me? I mean, we don't have a class planned to take as a group next semester!"
"We are a little distracted," Troy admitted. "Right before you came in, Britta was hanging the mistletoe and Pierce said…"
"Finish that sentence and your stocking won't be the only place that coal gets shoved," Britta glared at Troy, and he shrank back in his seat with his arms crossed.
"It is Christmas, and you are standing under mistletoe," Shirley relented.
"If this were a sitcom…"Abed began.
"Stop," Jeff said. "We spent an entire day traveling through 'Abed's Winter Wonderland' for you. We've earned a reprieve from all your meta references until after the new year."
"I don't know if I should be grateful or offended that no one in this room wants to kiss me under the mistletoe," Annie mused.
"On my way," Pierce said and began blowing furiously into the straw that steered his wheelchair. Shirley stopped Pierce with a disapproving and threatening stare.
"I would, but there's this chick in my biology class that I think kind of digs me. She told me, and I quote, 'You're incorrigible.' That means I have a lot of courage, right?" Troy asked.
Abed looked up at Annie. "I think I'm a background character in this scene." Jeff gave him a warning look with raised eyebrows.
"Come on, people, we have to get you all signed up. The deadline to add classes is today." Annie stomped her foot.
"So just so I'm clear on this, we're going to ignore the fact that there's a hot chick standing under the mistletoe, yes?" Pierce asked the group.
"Oh for the love of God," Jeff said and slammed his pen down on the table. He stood, walked over to Annie, slid his hand behind her head and leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. The group gaped until Jeff straightened and returned to his seat.
Annie stood in stunned silence until Shirley broke the quiet with "Aww, that's nice."
Annie collected herself and then, "So about that class..."