Title: A Dream That I've Chased
Sub-Title: Of Unrequited Loves and Voices
Genre: Romance
Rating: Fiction Rated: K+
Summary: None at the moment.
Author's Note: Something I had in mind for a while, while in the midst of trying to finish up the next chapter for 'The Voice of My Troubled Heart'. I'm not entirely sure of whether should it be a standalone by itself or...continue from there. Suggestions are forever welcome. This was meant to be a birthday gift from me to you guys on my birthday, but as it turned out, I was unable to complete in time. So it's 4-5 days late. Sorry.
Credits: The quotes, except for one, are from a wonderfully rock ballad by Blood. I suggest listening to the song 'Voices' by them. Entire chapter is inspired by that very same song.
A Dream That I've Chased
- Of Unrequited Loves and Voices -
The disappearing fragments of my memory
Are stored within my heart, packed with care so they will never be broken
You slipped through my fingertips and vanished into the night sky, never look back
Like those stars, my heart will also sink into darkness...
Your voice calling from beyond the light
Still echoes like it did on that day
This sadness must have an end, so
Somehow, I will reach you
- I want my love to reach you. I want it to reach you right now. My overflowing feelings, it's unchanging for you. I want to treasure you but I can't reach you through our dreams. But no matter how far apart we may become...I'll be waiting -
He was a fool. A fool who wished for nothing more than just some prospect of happiness in his life. For countless years, he had always been alone. His mother was too busy handling the duties of a demon king, or queen in her case. His father…no one knew where he was. His brother, the oldest, had never been too caring to him. Oh, his brother would no doubt protect him…but he did not want protection. What he wants…he wanted someone to genuinely care for him. There was such a person who held such kindness to him during his younger days, but he had already deemed that person not worthy of caring for him. All because of the human blood within him.
Truth was he was not alone. Servants had always surrounded him, giving him everything he needed. That may very well triggered his 'spoilt brattiness' as someone would say, but he did have his moments of kindness, doesn't he? What about the time he had actually cured those who were in their deathbeds with just his looks? Or the time he had declared to adopting Greta officially?
No one cared for him or his needs, he decided as he peered in. Standing directly at the side of the huge temple doors, he watched the on-going events. Everyone was dressed formally, and beautifully. His mother in her ever-displaying black dress, flirting as always. His brothers were somewhere inside, though he could only see Conrad standing nearby. Silently he observed the bustling happiness inside.
"I have no business here," he muttered, his eyes already heavy-lidded.Though it was not a sudden discovery, it still had him reeling back. Pulling himself away from the gaping doors, he leaned back and observed the outside. A perfect day, he noted.
"The sun shines exceptionally bright for this special occasion. The sky was clear, bright blue, with no cloud in sight. All around, everything vibrates with colour. They celebrate the unity of two who are very much in love. Nothing can come between them," he whispered with a smile, head resting gently against the smooth surface of the temple wall. With a booted leg propped up against the wall as well, his hands were loosely hookedin the pockets of his pants. He seemed very much an epitome of peace, even his smile was gently etched.
"A fitting day for a heavenly unity," he spoke again. His head lowered a little, his eyes staring at the ground. Gone was his picture of calmness, he now looked very much like a lost boy. His locks escaped, partially hiding his profile if one were to look. The reason for his desolate look? The ceremony was starting, the music had already begun. Every invited person was shushed to silence, leaving only the music.
"The music plays beautifully, to the point of haunting. It seeps in, diving directly into each soul. We are wrapped in its lilting melody, there is no chance of escape," he breathed, his face turned towards the doors. He should not look, he could not. No, he would not. His eyes closed, his mind already imagining.
"The place is set, everything is done perfectly. Flowers decorated the entirely place, roses of all colours. A sound made them turn, smiles clear on their faces." His words, his description, they were achingly accurate. "She stands in silence, her face covered alluringly by the white sheer veil. She glows radiantly, accentuated by the whiteness of her dress. A twinkle in her eyes hinted at the happiness she must be feeling."
"Her head lifts demurely, her eyes signals she is ready. The smiles around widened as her eyes sweeps across the room, surveying till she stops almost gently. Almost literally she softened, her smile hidden by the bouquet she holds firm in her hands. He is all she had ever wanted. He is all she ever dreamt of."
His lips trembled at the image his mind was wildly creating. His eyes opened, shining, glittering. But he refused; he would not. "Onward she goes. Her steps light, dainty and a little hurried. No longer could she wait to meet with him. Several steps more towards him, she watches his eyes twinkle at her gaily walk. A few more, and she stands beside himShe hands her bouquet to a friend nearby before her attention reverts back to him."
His eyes turned away, staring straight while frowning hard. His right hand fisted, clenching instinctively as he tried to regain control of himself. And when he did, he pushed away from the wall in a smooth move.
"Her eyes convey the love she has for him, his in return. Their hands clasp together as they prepare for the unity, their smiles hint their future together. Nights spent together in their room while days spent with no one but themselves," he breathed out again. His hands, removed from the pockets, swung up. Each hand grabbed hold of each opposite upper arms, gripped them tight as his eyes squeezed shut. Despite everything, a few tears slipped past.
"And I stand here, under the hot glaring sun, feeling cold and alone," he whispered as his eyes opened.
I kissed your pale cheek to say goodbye
The nights when I looked only at you
Will never again return, so
Even these traces left in the depths of my heart are breaking down...
"I remember of the nights I lie awake beside you. I let you think I was already fast asleep. I remember of how your breathing changes, slow and deep, as you slumber. My eyes slipped open as I listened to the rhythm of your sleep."
"And while you lie there, unaware, I watched you sleep. Once, or twice, I traced your lips with the slightest touch of my finger. And as my finger wandered, I wondered."
"Of how your lips would feel against mine," he murmured as he listened to happy sounds resonating inside. Without looking, he had already known of what was happening. But he could not help himself, he looked over his shoulder. A smile, gentle as ever, returned to his face. But his eyes, they spoke differently. This time, the tears filled but he did nothing to wipe them away.
"With the prayers of the priestess spoken, the two whispered their wedding vows to each other. Vows that held promises of their future together, of their love everlasting. 'You looked at me and smiled gently. Everything stops in our world alone and now I swear within my heart never to let you go.' That was his vow to her. And with the vows, came the very thing significant to this ceremony. A kiss, that everyone anticipated. A kiss, to seal their vows.A kiss, to complete their fate."
"I made the very same vow, that I've yearned to say to you. It lay hidden within my heart, waiting for the perfect time to be revealed. My soul became its key master, guardian and keeper. But…that time…it never came. But I know it would be perfect for you. That is why…you received that mysterious note."
"And with the kiss, you look into her eyes and smiled. Something shifted in those dark colours, could it be…relief? But she is too slow to notice, for it disappears without a trace and replaced by your love for her. Applause intrudes your little world, with a hint of dramatic sighs," he spoke as this time, he turned. "The ceremony ends with a perfect ending, and yet, a perfect new beginning for the two." He watched the couple turned to face the mass. His sad smile, that had disappeared before, returned as his eyes met a pair of dark ones.
"My congrats to the bride and groom. My congrats to the King and Queen. May your joining last eternally. May your joining bring happiness to each of your lives. For it surely had not for mine," he spoke a little louder, though he knew they could never hear him. A hand swept up above his head before he gave a dramatic bow.
"You looked at me and smiled gently. Everything stops in my world, and I now swear within my heart never to let you go. I remember the times when I held you tight. That was my secret vow to you." He released himself from the bow, his head lifted as his body straightened.
"I watch my tragedy repeats eternally, over and over. The dreams I dreamed now vanish, the melody I hear within this time pours out like my tears. I'm too scared to love again since I lost all of you, and the future is out of my sight. All the warmth that I once felt vanishes and my voice crying out to the sky doesn't reach you."
"How many nights must I suffer alone? Please end this pain...," he whispered, his eyes downcast as he turned away. Slowly, steadily and silently, he slipped away. Away from the temple, away from the happy couple. And away from who he would forever love in silence.
My voice crying out from this place now
Echoes on without end
Aimlessly I roam on
Until I arrive, somewhere