Disclaimer: I own nothing. Yes, sadly...

Yeah, I needed a break from my other story "Rebuilding the Mind". It was so depressing that I needed to write another story that was a bit lighter. This is just a collection of the weird things the Denali coven did to get Edward and the also weird things the Cullen family did to hook up Edward.

The cool Alaskan air bit into my senses, making everything have a sharp icy quality. Unfortunately, that was a bad thing.

I sighed. All females were the same; lustful, stubborn, and so hormonal. It was almost revolting listening to their thoughts. Even century old vampires still act like young teenagers. It was almost funny, if the thoughts were directed on someone else, someone other than me.

Edward Cullen… Wow, what I would give to have him. I shuddered at the thought. I peeked out of the corner of my eye at a strawberry blond whose name was Tanya. So this was the person who was tainting my mind with disturbing images. I quickly walked out of the living room and almost lost my balance from my disgust.

My mind was flooded with disturbing images again, and I looked around and saw two other female vampires; their names were Kate and Irina. Each time I took a step they took a step. Were they slowly following me or…stalking me?

I sighed a frustrated sigh. How is it that I got a whole coven of female vampires to stalk me? I don't even remember saying anything to them other than usual small talk.

I picked up my pace and ran as fast as I can. They quickly fell behind. I caught their disappointed thoughts as I slowly ran out of sight.

I looked backward just to make sure my fan club was gone, then I resumed to my normal stride.

I quietly walked toward the tiny ice igloo that Emmett and Jasper was building. It was in its early stages, so it look more like a circular wall. Alice was sitting daintily on the side of it.

Edward is coming… Gotta hurry…

It was Emmett. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously; Emmett was going to try something.

"Hi Edward!" Alice jumped off the side lightly and ran over to me; her mouth was curved at the edges as if she was trying to not smile.

Edward is going to be so freaked out!

I smiled darkly, "Hello, Alice. I know you're hiding something, so why don't you-?"

WHAM! A ball of mush slammed into my face. I grinned, so this is what Emmett was planning.

My hands quickly formed a cold pile of snow and I launched it at Emmett with all of my might. He dodged it neatly and launched another.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper flinging snowballs at me, then there was Alice, who was grinning evilly at me. She too joined the snowball fight.

I clenched my teeth. Dammit. I was getting ambushed. I groped wildly threw the thick haze of snowballs. The blizzard was so thick that it was obscuring my vision. I randomly fired snowballs in every direction. Suddenly it all stopped.

Before I could move a pair of hands grabbed me from behind. My eyes widened.

"Emmett!" I yelled while struggling in his steely grasp. "What the hell are you doing?"

My response was an evil laugh that sounded like "MUA HA HA HA!" Before I knew it more pairs of hands grabbed me.

I looked wildly at Emmett, Jasper, and Alice, who were now carrying me toward the main house. I struggled in their grasps, but I couldn't break out of it. Then I looked into Emmett's mind.

Everything is set, and Tanya should be in the-Oh no! Was he reading my mind?

My face turned grim, this wasn't another futile attempt to give Tanya satisfaction was it?

The bedroom was getting nearer and nearer. Now I was panicking. There was only one thing left to do now…

I twisted my face toward Emmett and sank my teeth into his hard skin. He yelped in pain was a tiny chunk of his skin came off. His hands released me.

I twisted around again, ready to bite through anything to avoid this. I snapped my teeth against Alice's hands, but Jasper growled a warning at me. Then they threw me at the door.

I crashed threw the door, leaving a very wide hole in it. I tumbled onto the floor and finally opened my eyes.

"Oh no…" I moaned. It was the bedroom, and there was Tanya on the bed.

She appeared to be startled at my noisy appearance, but then she quickly changed her shocked expression into a flirtatious one. I gagged at her thoughts.

"Hello Edward." Her voice was too high and fake. I looked around trying to plan my escape. I went for the damaged door, but Emmett and Jasper were blocking it.

My eyes caught sight of the window, and I ran for it. Damn… Alice and Rosalie were blocking it. There was no escape.

Tanya was approaching me, her eyes wide and full of excitement. The nauseating images in her mind were drowning me. I braced myself.

The house was soon full of my screams.