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Apparition Tests

Sirius had been a bundle of nerves all day. He had been fidgeting in his seat all day, getting reprimanded by McGonagall and Flitwick. Not that that was anything Sirius never did.

But he had also not fallen asleep in History of Magic and had even concentrated on Binn's monotonous drone taking as many notes as he possibly could.

During the breaks, he had taken to pacing through the corridors with an expression on his face that had sent some first years running in the other direction as fast as they could. The only time he had heard Lily Evans scream at louder at somebody than she did at him then was when James tried to go out with her.

In potions he had only been prevented from blowing up the room (for once not on purpose) by James and Peter which was quite extraordinary as well: Sirius was almost at the top of the class (only behind Snape, Evans and Remus) and James and Peter were simply abysmal in potions.

He had also failed to hex Snape and had been hit by a bludger exactly five times during Quidditch practice, something that NEVER happened to Sirius Black.

But although his head was throbbing with pain, he had been traumatized by Evans and he knew Snape was somewhere in a dark, slimy corner laughing about him, Sirius didn't even notice that he was probably having one of the worst days of his life so far. He was too nervous.

And it wasn't even as if he was taking his apparition test that day or any time soon.

No, if that would have been the case, he wouldn't be deprived of the one person that could have calmed him down.

Sirius was almost considering asking Madame Pomfrey for a calming potion but he knew he had to stay in the common room unless he wanted to miss asking as soon as possible.

Because it wasn't Sirius that was taking his apparition test that day. It was Remus.

The portrait hole opened and James and Remus entered. Sirius jumped up giving Peter quite a shock and ran over to Remus.

"So how did it go? Did you pass?" he asked excitedly but as soon as he did, he knew he shouldn't have and could have slapped himself for it.

Remus only shook his head with a sad smile. Sirius wasn't sure but Remus eyes looked slightly puffy.

Sirius desperately searched for words but he found nothing to say. He wanted nothing more than to hug Remus but he wasn't sure if he should.

He knew the right moment had passed when Peter barged in, having come over as well.

"Oh, right! I almost forgot you had had your apparition test today. So what happened? Did you get splinched?"

"No, he didn't," James answered, clearly annoyed by Peter's lack of sensitivity as well.

"I couldn't do it. I was so nervous I couldn't concentrate so nothing at all happened."

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll pass next time," Sirius answered, finally finding something to say again but aware that his words sounded empty. "But at least you didn't miss much in lessons; I took notes for you."

Once again, Sirius mentally slapped himself. How could he just say something about lessons now? Why did he have to change the subject?

But Remus smiled, thanked him and went along with the change of topic. Only James gave Sirius a strange look.

That night, Sirius lay in bed full of reproaches against himself. Why couldn't he just have hugged Remus and said a few comforting words or at least something witty that made Remus laugh and cheer up? Just done what any good friend would have?

But no, his feelings always had to get in his way, just because he liked Remus more than a friend, he was too nervous and unsure to show Remus he cared at all.

And the way James had looked at him today, he knew.

Sirius buried his head under his pillow and wondered how much more could have gone wrong today. He couldn't think of much.

Feeling like the greatest idiot that had ever walked on earth, Sirius finally fell asleep.

AN: Just a little two-shot I felt like writing, it is slightly based on a real life experience, at least the first part. The second part will be more cheerful, so you can look forward to that.

Oh, one other thing: sorry if Lily wasn't portrayed in a very nice way but this is kind of following Sirius' point of view (though not first person as you've noticed) and he didn't really like her that much, I think (though I guess that got better when Lily and James got together).

I don't have any real grudges against Peter or Snape either, strange as it may seem: I think Peter had a reason for what he did and I'm still a bit in denial about what happened in HBP.

So anyways, review! Please, pretty please!