A/N: Because I have no life. This is in some timeless place where Harry is about… 18, give or take.
Three figures popped up on the stage in front of everyone. Gasping, they found that they were Toph, Emmett and Herbert, the three crazy people who make people sing. So that's where they were, a stage in the middle of Toph's head.
Toph cleared her throat, "Welcome… ladies and gentlemen, I am Toph Monster, and these are my cohorts Emmett Forrest and Herbert Willowood… excuse me, PRINCE Herbert Willowood. For this fanfiction, you will all be forced to sing musicals. And I really don't care if they are not with the plot of your story, because I am a Slytherin and you should submit to me."
The characters in the audience whispered quickly to each other and some even groaned.
"QUIET! Now I will take attendence, Harry Potter?"
Harry raised his hand silently.
"Ronald Weasely?"
"Uh… present."
"Hermione Granger?"
"Here, Ms. Monster."
"Ginny Weasely?"
"Here."
"Draco Malfoy?"
"Here."
"Remus Lupin, young?"
The eighteen-year-old were-wolf raised his hand.
"James Potter, young?"
"Here."
"Lily Evans, young?"
Lily raised her hand.
"Severus Snape, young?"
"Here."
"Sirius Black, young?"
"Here."
"Luna Lovegood?"
"Here, Ms. Monster."
"And Tom Riddle/Voldemort, safely contained in a magic-proof cage?"
"I'm back here, you fool!"
"Okay… our first song is for Luna, Ginny, Hermione, Sirius and Lily. It's an opening song called "Omigod You Guys from Legally Blonde: The Musical. Luna, you are Elle Woods, Serius, you're the dog, Bruiser, and the manager of the store and Ginny, Hermione and Lily are the girls of Delta Nu, Lily, you are also the Lying Saleslady. GO!!"
The three sat down in the box seats in the theatre, Toph equipped with a bull horn, a laptop and a taser. Herbert was content with a big lollipop, and Emmett… Emmett had the List of names and musical numbers they were in.
Lily, Ginny, Hermione, Sirius and Luna grumbled and walked up to the stage as the music started and Toph logged on to her server and fished out the lyrics for the song.
LILY:
Dear Elle, He's a lucky guy.
I'm like gonna cry, I got tears comin out of my nose!
MAD PROPS! He's the campus catch,
You're a perfect match,
Cause you both got such great taste in clothes,
Of course he will propose!
HERMIONE:
Dear Elle, honey mozel-tof,
Future's taking off bring that ring back and show it to me!
GINNY:
Four carets, a princess cut,
Are you phsyced or what?
I just wish I could be there to see…
LILY, HERMIONE, & GINNY:
When he gets down on one knee!
ALL:
Omigod!Omigod you guys,
Looks like Elle's gonna win the prize.
If there ever was a perfect couple this one qualifies.
Omigod you guys!
Omigod this is happening, our own homecoming Queen and King.
Finally she'll be trying on a huge engagement ring for size,
Omigod you guys!
Omigod!
GINNY:
Okay, everbody signed.
Good now fall in line and we'll start the engagment parade.
HERMIONE:
Like candles in single file,
Don't forget to smile.
Lose the gum kate you look like the maid,
GINNY: Sorry!
HERMIONE:
Now prepare to serenade!
Shhh!
ALL:
(whisper and slowly get lowder)
Omigod!Omigod you guys,
Looks like Elle's gonna win the prize.
HERMIONE:
Shh!
ALL:
If there ever was a perfect couple this one quali—
HERMIONE:
Shh!
ALL:
Omigod!
HERMIONE:
Guys I'm Serious!
GINNY:
Elle and Warner were meant to be!
HERMIONE:
Not once ever has he hit on me!
LILY:
SHUT UP!
They're just like that couple from titanic,
Only no one dies.
ALL:
Omigod!
SIRIUS:
2, 3, 4—
ALL:
Daughter of Delta Nu,
Soon to be fiance',
Now that a man chose you,
Your life begins today.
Make him a happy home,
Waste not his hard-earned wage,
And so he does not roam,
Strive not to look your age.
Still in your hour of need,
Let it be understood no man can supersead,
Our sacred bond of sisterhood.
Omigod!Omigod you guy—
HERMIONE:
(spoken) Guys, she's not here.
ALL:
What?
Where is she?
Where could she be?!
OMIGOD!
LILY:
Bruiser, where is elle?
Sirius proceeds to morph into his dog form.
SIRIUS:
(Barks)
LILY:
She doesn't have an engagement outfit.
SIRIUS:
(Barks)
LILY:
She's totally freaking out.
SIRIUS:
(Barks)
LILY:
She's trapped in the old valley mill??!?!
SIRIUS:
(Barks twice)
LILY:
O, woops, sorry.
The Old Valley Mall!
ALL:
OMIGOD! Mass Emergency!
LILY:
Don't take the freeway!
GINNY:
Hey, wait for me!
ALL
No one should be left alone to dress
And to acessorize. Omigod! You guys!
OMIGOD!OMIGOD!OMIGOD!OMIGOD!OMIGOD!
LUNA:
(spoken) It's almost there but—
(sung) This dress needs to seal the deal,
make a grown man kneel,
but it can't come right out and say bride.
Can't look like I'm desperate,
Or like I'm waiting for it,
I gotta leave Warner his pride,
So bride is more implied.
HERMIONE:
(spoken) There she is!
LUNA:
Omigod!Omigod you guys!
All this week I've had butterflies,
Everytime he looks at me it's totally 'Proposal Eyes',
Omigod you guys!
So help me dress for my fairy tale,
Can't wear something I bought on sale.
HERMIONE:
Love is like forever,
This is no time to economize.
ALL:
Omigod you guys!
LILY:
(spoken) Blondes make commission SO easy.
Excuse me, have you seen this?
It just came in.
It's perfect for a blonde.
LUNA:
(spoken) Right, with a half looped-
stitch on china silk?
LILY:
(spoken hesistantly) Uhuh.
LUNA:
But the thing is, you cant use a
half looped stitch on china silk it'll pucker.
And you didn't just get this in cause I saw it in last May's VOGUE.
ALL:
Omigod! Omigod you guys!
LUNA:
I'm not about to buy last year's dress at this year's price.
ALL:
Elle saw right through that sales girl's lies.
LUNA:
(spoken)It may be perfect for a
blonde, but I'm not that blonde.
(sung) I may be in love,
but I'm not stupid, lady I've got eyes.
SIRIUS:
Omigod! Elle Woods, sorry our mistake.
Courtney take your break.
Just ignore her she hasn't been well.
Try this latest from Milan go on try it on.
I take care of my best clientele.
It's a gift from me to Elle!
LUNA:
Omigod! Omigod you guys!
This one's perfect, and it's just my size!
See dreams really do come true you never have to comprimise.
Omigod!
ALL:
Omigod! Omigod you guys!
Let's go home before some one cries.
If there ever was a perfect couple this one qualifies.
Cause we love you guys.
LUNA:
No, I love you guys!
ALL:
Omigod!
LUNA:
Omigod!
ALL:
Omigod! you guys!
(spoken)OMIGOD!